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jfrois
Reviews
Maggie's Plan (2015)
Pretentious
This film is a Woody Allen wannabe. It doesn't rate the noble title of, "Screwball Comedy," because the contrived and humorless "humor" doesn't come close to that sparkling genre of yesteryear. To compare the film to the likes of, "Bringing Up Baby," or "My Man Godfrey" is sheer wishful thinking, either on the part of the viewer, and/or the writer-director. Miller's work never seems to rise above film school caliber, with incoherent plot lines, annoying characters and an overall quality that this writer-director has no greater message or story to convey without having to resort to the bizarre. The incestuous overtones between father and daughter in, "The Ballad of Jack and Rose," or, in the novel, "Jacob's Folly," a human being reincarnated into an oversexed fly come to mind.
This is the story of Maggie (Greta Gerwig), a control-freak who can't maintain a relationship but wants a child, and decides to achieve this end by artificial insemination using the semen of a--pickle entrepreneur. Seriously. In a disgusting scene Gerwig, spreadeagled, inseminates herself with a turkey baster only to have the married John (Ethan Hawke) show up at her place to declare his love for her. Another example of the Self-Absorbed so prevalent in this movie, John is unhappily married to the highly successful Georgette, played by Julianne Moore using an accent that's supposed to be Danish, but sounds like something between bad Eva Braun and Frau Bluuker from "Young Frankenstein." The impression left by John's sudden love of Maggie ties into the fact that she loves the book he has been writing for years while his current wife ignores it.
In poor story construction, from the night John shows up at Maggie's place and has sex with her apres her self-insemination, a sudden jump of three years into the future finds the couple now married to one another--unhappily--with a child of their own. John has turned out to be a deadbeat non-supporter who saddles Maggie with the bread winning, housework and child rearing, including his children from his previous marriage to Georgette still absorbed in writing the book he has never finished. So Maggie devises a plan to reunite Georgette and John once again, freeing her to the happy realm of single motherhood. We're supposed to sympathize with, or find amusing, this ditz who has no compunction to get involved with a married man, marry him, uproot his children, and then wants a divorce from him because she can't live with the consequences of her actions.
I wish it could be said this movie had lines worth mentioning. It defeats the purpose of a dialogue-driven movie when the script is mediocre and not in the least bit funny. Ethan Hawke does a good job of playing the deadbeat John as though he's wise enough as an actor to know he is in a film of not much importance and doesn't take the job too seriously. Greta Gerwig has a field day once again, playing Greta Gerwig in an Indie film, a serious reincarnation of all her previous roles. Somehow, it gets tiresome. If you enjoy films about self-absorbed New Yorkers who relate only to their own shallow inner circles, this might be your cup of tea. Especially if you equate far flung sympathy to their apocalyptic over reaction when their selfish and shallow plans, that no one else can truly relate to, except perhaps for a spoiled brat with a trust fund fall through, makes you find this relative or amusing. But overall, the feel and execution of this film reminds me of rushed, school girl projects hashed out at the last minute in a college dorm. It's an arrogant attempt to paint modern life into the slanted cosmic view of the writer and director, all the while leaving the strong impression this person knows nothing of the real world, or life, after all.
Nine (2009)
Rotten as Blair Witch and Pippa Lee
Daniel Day-Lewis makes a complete ass of himself in this movie. With the chain-smoking slouch, he resembles an aardvark scoping the ground for ants. Just two short years ago he stood waxwork-like in triumph at the Oscar podium and now this...I actually laughed out loud at his singing because he reminded me of Count Chocula. Never thought I would ever laugh at this man. This has placed an enormous chink in his acting repertoire and it makes you angry when someone who has been such an actor in the past turns in a caricature performance like this one--I actually have to agree with the majority of critics who panned this movie and his performance. To my surprise, "Nine" joins the ranks of two of the worst movies I have seen in my life,"The Blair Witch Project" and "The Private Lives of Pippa Lee." Rob Marshall sliced and diced this project into something that boils down to a Rockettes or Ice Capades marathon. If a musical is ever made of "Dracula," Day-Lewis could be perfectly cast in the title role. In "Nine," he reminded me of Bela Ligousi aping an Italian. Where is Hawkeye running half naked through the woods? It was unbelievable that a bevy of women would be besotted with Guido as portrayed by Day-Lewis. He is no Marcello Mastrionni. They should have held out for Antonio Banderas and another director. Defying further belief is Penelope Cruz's Oscar nomination for her portrayal of Carla. The only actor deserving that recognition in this floppo is Marion Cotillard. She alone brought any true sense of humanity to the film, elicited my sympathy and empathy. And Fergie was the only singer. Day-Lewis has loftily stated in the past regarding roles (that brought him greatest acclaim) such as Bill the Butcher and Daniel Plainview are characters who are the least like himself...scary thought...was he so rotten as Guido because they are most similar? LOL!
Consenting Adults (1992)
It's a CLINKER!!!!!
Wow, this movie was so bad it was almost as funny as watching one of those awful Grade B sci-fi flicks Elvira used to show, but not quite. Surprised at the two Kevins--Kline and Spacey--whom I usually enjoy--being in this dud. The story line was highly implausible, the acting was terrible, the cinematography so unfocused that I can't believe this boring little blunder was even made. Even the singing was terrible. Kevin Kline's character, in it's own way, was almost as low as Spacey's, especially with the sneaky wife swapping part. After he has his way with the supposed Rebecca Miller character, he sits at his kitchen table next morning and tells his wife he loves her! Yeah, right!
Mastrantonio's character left a lot to be desired in the way of integrity, such as the way she leaped at accepting the fraudulently acquired insurance money and then acted self-righteous defending Eddie for having the nerve to fight to get the cash. She did look very pretty, however. If the Rebecca Miller character was a bombshell, why was she shot usually at fuzzy distances, never in a sharp close-up except in the end, in the dark, when her face is mostly concealed by a ridiculous red wig? Her bathtub scene was hilarious, especially when she rose from the water with her butt to the camera and put on her robe just standing there. Her attempts to look sizzling in Kline's voyeuristic eyes only made her look like she had cramps. Her performance was moribund, and Kline's ran a close second for morbidity. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen and only the well-grounded talent of Spacey and Kline saved their careers in its aftermath. Spacey does get good marks for the diabolical expression on his face when Mastrantonio is trying to flee the beach house, flings up the door thinking he is gone, and there he is in all his evil glory hiding in the closet. That's about the only good thing I can say about this flick.