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garageispants
Reviews
Driven (2001)
No one can make a descent racing film since grand prix from 1966
when i first heared about stallones plans to make a racing film i was quite pleased. he was spotted in monaco by the f1 tv programme at the time and said he was making a film about Formula One (for americans who dont know Formula One its the pinnacle of all motorsports) the guy in charge of F1 (Bernie Ecclestone) had allowed him to do some reconoitas at some circuits.
A year later i read that Bernie Ecclestone had decided not to let him film it for formula one. so sly decided to involve the FedEx CART Championship which is just as good as formula one, but mainly raced in america, and i was a bit dissapointed.
Then after i saw the 2001 remake of the planet of the apes i saw a poster of driven and thought "oh theyve made it finally" but didnt want to spend £7 on something that could possibly be rubbish, and wait until it comes on the tv.
and now ive got to see it...............................£7 very well saved.
ITS AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sly Stallone had NO IDEA what he was doing, he just wanted to make a film, he didnt put research into it, he didnt seem to care about the system involved with the FedEx Cart championship, and as for the charachters in the film, i find the easter bunny more believeable.
"but why?" i hear you americans cry, "it wasnt all THAT bad"
listen it was ALL that bad:
- First off, all the speedways in the film seem to all look like the same one, for instance when theyre supposed to be in japan and slys charachter is talking to the so called "baddie" you can see the chicago railway lines in the background.
- secondly the show presenting 2 1000hp racing cars, im sure that someone who is a bit p**sed off doesnt steal one of them and drive at high speeds down busy streets
- the crashes in the races all seem to be the same, and theyre pretty bizzare crashes, how the hell can someone crash at high speed when negotiatong their way through a slow corner where they only do about 30 mph, theyd probably just hit into the wall, in this film one of them crashes THROUGH the wall and smashes into bits.
- the crash in where memo moreno (a mash up of 2 cart drivers MEMO Gidley and Roberto MORENO, theyve got great knowlegde on how to make fake driver names what next? Mario Fittipaldi?) does about 6 cartwheels and crashes into a lake is impossible, cars wouldnt race on a TEST Course, they wouldnt race on BANKED TURNS in wet weather (as nascar fans would agree) and as for the lake catching fire, oil doesnt mix with water, and memo would have died if he did actually crash on an test course which is unsafe for race cars in the rain.
- in the last race of the championship , which is supposed to be California Speedway, but bizzarely is in Belle Isle detroit, the cars seem to be racing around another track which isnt anywhere near Detroit, theyre using a Canadian Formula one circuit. and stallone's car gets damage on the front axle, the car would have stopped about 30 yards from where it broke, but magically the car seems to go on for another lap and a half.
NOBODY CAN MAKE A DECENT RACING FILM
Since the James Garner film GRAND PRIX all the ones ive seen have been awful.
if someone is gonna make a film about racing, i suggest they go and ask some racing fans what they expect from it, like the people who made Lord of the Rings and the x-Men Films the went and asked the fans and they didnt dissapoint did they.
Eddie Izzard: Unrepeatable (1994)
SUDDERN INTEREST IN BOTANY SETTING
ive seen 4 of the 5 Eddie Izzard videos , in the wrong order , dressed to kill was the first , and the further back in time i went the funnier it was, this one is on par with definite article , because there is that sign of madness in him in both of them , especially where he seems to think up an episode of star trek at the end of his act. from the main charachters kirk spock uhura etc. to the guy who beams down with them called steve from accounts, and the functions of kirks stun gun which are hilarious ranging from "bit of a cough" to "ice cream van nearby".