aracasm Reviews

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

Terrible

[1/10 · 27 February 2024]

There isn't a single positive for this mess of a movie. Everything about it is cheap and bad. I'm sure the positive ratings are fake as only a small child could find this garbage entertaining. The story was always going to be a bit of a stretch but the execution is awful. This was. Clearly made on a very low budget but even so that's not an excuse for knocking out this drivel. The dialogue is badly written and characters are one note and delivered with lazy performances. I had high hopes for this but it's worse than I could have imagined. I would advise anyone thinking of renting/viewing this tripe to think again - unless it's for young kids then go for it.

Shortcut (II) (2020)

The production took plenty of Shortcuts!

[1/10 · 13 November 2022]

This is awful. I can forgive the low budget effects but the acting and writing are like something the school drama club put together. Characters are 1 note, void of any real personality or characterisation. They are simply there. The idea is nothing fresh but seems to be executed well in terms of story but the performances and lazy writing let this down. It's probably unfair to say the acting is bad as some of the cast are known for great performances elsewhere, perhaps this is down to the direction or lack thereof. If you're looking for a good horror film to get lost in, this is one you will want to skip but for background noise while you're doing the ironing - perfect.

My Best Friend's Exorcism (2022)

Very disappointing

[2/10 · 1 October 2022]

Nothing like the book. Not half as good. Terrible in comparison. Was really looking forward to this but it was not good. Having the read the book i was looking forward to seeing the story play out on screen. Unfortunately the story told is not that close to the story of the book. Film loses the charm and character of the original story though there are some similarities. The film is neither funny or scary, it's a bit of a mess. Cast are good apart for the whole Lemon brothers rubbish. That was shameful. I'm glad that it was on Prime as I'd be annoyed if I'd paid money to purchase this tripe. Not worth your time.

Choose or Die (2022)

Argh.. the fake "Americanisation"

[5/10 · 15 April 2022]

If you're making a low budget British horror make one. If you're making a low budget American horror, make one. This was ruined by ill attempts at making it seem like it is an 'American' film - likely an attempt to appeal to the masses, but it just came across as bad; distracting even.

That said it wasn't totally rubbish... I liked how it was going up until the middle then it spoiled itself. Worth a watch but don't expect much.

Midnight Mass (2021)

Dull. Needs less talking, more action!

[2/10 · 26 September 2021]

It's a slow series and takes a few hours for anything to actually happen. Once it does we're not out of the woods yet as each episode is crammed with long scenes containing the dullest dialogue. Which makes it quite boring to watch. I began skipping forward to avoid the dullness. Got episode 5 down to less then ten minutes. 'worth a watch but brace yourself, it's more of a challenge than it is entertaining.

Haunted (2018– )

Never have the words "The following is a true story" been so false

[1/10 · 15 May 2021]

There's an old saying, used when something happens in life that is so crazy it can't be true, "you couldn't make it up". Well folks, the producers at Neflix did just that. This would be mildly entertaining if it wasn't marketed at 'true'. There is nothing true about these tall tales, no evidence to support these outrageous claims. It's like a bunch of failed movie pitches- and some of them really bombed. That bloke on S3 and his python. Jesus wept! The worst thing about this show is the dramatisations. So slow! Thank god you can fast forward. Naff show.

NightwatchMan (2021– )

Don't watch, Man!

[1/10 · 5 May 2021]

Dreadful! Whoever said that this was a comedy, was lying. This was Shamefully acted, Horribly written, filmed on an I-phone 5, and just generally Terrible. Do yourself a favour and resist clicking play.

I Am Lisa (2020)

Dreadful, in a bad way.

[1/10 · 11 October 2020]

I've nothing against low budget films if they have something new or creative to offer but this was just tripe. Terrible acting. Not one character felt real or had any substance. This was badly done and should be avoided at all costs.

Trick (II) (2019)

INSPIRATIONAL

[3/10 · 29 June 2020]

This was such an inspirational film for anyone wanting to get into the movie business. It just goes to show that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. It doesn't matter how limited you are as an actor, how unimaginative you are as a writer, or if you'd struggle to give directions to the bus stop never mind direct a feature film. None of this matters. Someone will employ you.

Becky (II) (2020)

Absolutely Demented

[9/10 · 29 June 2020]

Not what I was expecting at all. Loved it. I was gripped throughout. Funny, gory, and kinda fantastic.

Line of Duty (2019)

This is a BAD film

[5/10 · 29 June 2020]

It's bad but in the sense that fizzy drinks and sugary snacks are bad for you - full of sugar, loaded with E numbers but quite delicious. The acting wasn't great, the plot was questionable and the fact that the lead actress goes through all of the events without a hair out of place, is annoying. It's badly written and that's proven in that every character was a ridiculous stereotype. That said it was still enjoyable. Don't watch it if you're expecting a deep and meaningful movie. This is as unrealistic and shallow as it comes.

You Should Have Left (2020)

I should have left

[3/10 · 19 June 2020]

At first glance this seemed like it would be a really good film. The cast had me looking forward to it but even big names like Bacon and Seyfried couldn't save this little turd of a movie. It probably looked really good on paper but sadly Koepp wasn't able to carry the essence of the script into a realised motion picture.

Bacon gives a good performance but that's the only good thing about the film. Seyfriend is underused, playing a very two dimensional character.

I think the film contains some 'twists' but as they're glaringly obvious, I can't say for sure.

It will kill an hour and a half (or less if you can't bare to watch it)