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msrchuk
Reviews
Æon Flux (2005)
One of the worst movies I ever saw!
It only gets a point because Charlize Theron looks great and can actually act. However with a script as bad as this and a plot line that is so thin it's transparent, I would heartily recommend not to see this movie. If you already did, bad luck, or if you liked it as much as some of the other reviewers, I suggest you seek help. There are no spoilers in this review because there's nothing to spoil. Charlize - don't do this again. Put it down as your Catwoman experience, and learn from it. You're too good for this crap. My apologies to all the crew who worked on this and actually at least made it look nice; I know it's tough to have your efforts panned but I'm struggling to think of a worse film than this one (apart from Catwoman).
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
Looks good and there are worse ways to waste 2 hours
Two of the hottest stars in Hollywood right now, and a glossy action flick with slick one-liners. Having watched it again, I was entertained, but could also see a lot of holes in the script, not least of which is the apparent inability of anybody to hit the Smiths with a single shot that would hurt them. The basic premise is nice but how could two such apparently smart people not figure out what the other was doing for a living over the course of five (or six) years? Hiding that amount of weaponry in the house would not be possible over a long period. This is real Saturday night popcorn; suspend all disbelief and just enjoy the glossy action and undeniable chemistry between the two leads.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Hear that sound of a deflating balloon?
I'm REALLY disappointed. Taken as a stand-alone film, it's enjoyable nonsense; taken as the crucial link between the prequels and the original three episodes, it's frankly First Grade essay level. The dialogue is poor, Christensen again fails to convince except right at the end, and (very impressive) CGI is used too much to cover up the shortcomings. I wanted so much to have my faith restored after Ep. 1 and 2, but even ROTJ is better than this, and to say that the one with Ewoks is better sums up how disappointing this is. How is it that Anakin can decide to give up his years of Jedi training and switch to the Sith within one scene? There should have been more time spent on showing his emotional problems - Darth Vader is after all THE MOST EVIL villain - and they actually could have left out the Wookies altogether. There is more than enough of Chewbacca in the original films. And how do the Jedi all die so easily if they can use the Force to fly around etc.? Actually why do the troops suddenly turn on the Jedi when these guys have been protecting the Republic for so long? Some positive words, since I gave the film 5 out of 10: Ewan McGregor is good, Natalie Portman does her best with what she's given, and the planets are beautifully rendered. C3P0 is a bit player, which reduces the ham factor a bit, and there's no Jar-Jar. Christopher Lee makes the most of his few minutes on screen, and Ian McDiarmid is excellent as Palpatine. What a shame that the overall result comes up short. Mr. Lucas - there's only one thing you can do to redeem yourself now. Re-shoot the battle scenes in TESB with the latest CGI and take out the (impossible) sound effects in the space scenes. Then re-release it; it's still the best of the 6 by miles (in no small part thanks to Harrison Ford), and an upgrade on the FX would make it simply stunning. DO NOT even think about making any new ones. Enough is enough. Actually it would have been better in retrospect to have just had the first 3, but too late now! Nerd point: I may be wrong but I'm sure I saw the Millennium Falcon landing in the distance in one of the early scenes.
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
A triumph of hype over substance
It took me a long time to get around to Kill Bill; partly because I'm not a huge fan of martial arts movies, and partly because I find QT's elevation to movie-god status a little premature. There is a lot to like in this film. The photography is excellent, the cast is strong, and the story is quirky. However, Tarantino has got carried away with his homage to Asian movies and Japanese comics. The plot is just too silly, and it's quite unbelievable that none of the 88's pull a gun on the Bride. Stuff the swordplay - bodyguards should kill to protect without worrying about honour. QT is also clearly fixated on blood. He started with pools of it in Reservoir Dogs; now we're treated to huge fountains and lakes. It reminded me immediately of the Black Knight sequence in the Holy Grail or the other Python sketch: Anyone for Tennis? How can Sophie survive after losing so much blood so quickly? The cast: Uma Thurman looks as fabulous as ever and delivers lines and moves with aplomb, and I really enjoyed Lucy Liu as an evil gang boss. Daryl Hannah doesn't feature enough in Vol.1 to judge, nor Carradine. Vivica Fox is effective in her brief segment, although who in the hell would stop a fight to the death and drink a coffee because a kid comes home? Anyway she didn't write the script so can't blame her for that. Best moment: the fight between the Bride and O-Ren Ishii in the snow, with the bamboo water holder tipping metronomically in the background. I will watch Vol. 2 because I'm interested to find out the rest of the story, plus QT films are always worth at least one viewing, but I certainly won't bother to see either part twice. This is definitely not his best work. By the way, is it just me, or is it pretentious to put in the titles "Quentin Tarantino's 4th Film"? I would love to see him apply his undoubted talents to more serious and substantial screenplays. Maybe he could have a go at an historical epic to start off with?
The Village (2004)
Beautiful implausibility
I enjoyed this movie a lot, and I'm sure most people will. Forget the fact that Shyamalan's movies famously have a twist (anyway this has two, albeit one is fairly obvious), otherwise you may be disappointed. You must take this movie on its own merits, not as a Shymalan work, then it has a lot to be commended. The cast is pretty impressive: nice to see William Hurt playing a lead character again, ably supported by Sigourney Weaver, Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, and others. However the undoubted star is Bryce Dallas Howard. In the early scenes, she doesn't impress very much with her "blindness" - she focuses on people too obviously - but this improves as the movie runs. Apart from this however, I think she plays the part beautifully. She is luminous in most shots, and holds your attention constantly. She should be a major star soon on the basis of this performance.
The landscapes are framed and shot as you would expect from this director, with clever use of colour and especially shadow. I didn't spot a single anomaly in the settings, and the soundtrack also fits well.
So what's the implausibility? *** SPOILER FOLLOWS *** A community like this would simply not be possible - OK, we don't know until the last part that we're in the present day, but even one hundred years ago, I'm sure that such a place would have had visitors.
Anyway, you should suspend disbelief and enjoy all the good things; Ms. Howard in particular.
Seabiscuit (2003)
Corn-fed horse comes good
It's clear that at the time the real Seabiscuit was a major star in horse-racing, and deservedly so. Genuine rags-to-riches stories are always good fare for the movies. This film evokes the atmosphere of Depression-era America very well, and there's a feel-good factor that's hard to avoid being seduced by. Frankly this is a pleasant way to spend a couple of hours, with a solid cast providing solid performances. I don't think it's by any means the best work that any of the lead players have produced, but perhaps the corniness of the script is the main reason. The horses are uniformly outstanding however. The narration is unfortunately both distracting and irritating - I would have preferred captions or more newspaper shots. In conclusion it would be churlish to be too negative about this film, but I would have been disappointed if I'd paid to see it in the cinema, rather than watch it at home as I did. I would recommend it as a family film.
Catwoman (2004)
Kittycrap!
I watched this film in German, so at least I was spared the worst of the dialogue. Having said that, the dubbed dialogue was appalling too. Why did I go in the first place? Basically, because I had an afternoon to kill, and Halle Berry looked good on the poster. We all make mistakes! The plot is so ludicrous that there's nothing to spoil. Sharon Stone with a concrete face was amusing but come on scriptwriter - what were you smoking? Berry's transformation from frump to S&M dominatrix was totally unconvincing. OK - she inherited cat-like strength and agility, but why would she suddenly be able to pull off martial arts moves? The costume is clearly aimed at men in dirty raincoats, and the silly pouting look just didn't work. I actually thought she looked far better as the frump - she is after all a naturally-beautiful woman.
Since both Ms. Berry and Ms. Stone have made much better films (Monsters Ball and Casino for example), I guess we can forgive them for going for an easy paycheck, but really this is one of the worst films I ever saw. If cinemas still showed second features, this would struggle to be the second; the commercials would be better value for money!
L.A. Confidential (1997)
You can watch this again and again and it still holds up!
This is really one of my all-time favourites: it came up on TV the other night so I watched it again.
The cast are exceptional: Russell Crowe is convincing as the psychotic but ultimately honest street cop; Guy Pearce is exactly nerdy enough; Kevin Spacey gives a note-perfect performance, and Kim Basinger was never better (or more beautiful). Danny De Vito effectively reprises his slime-ball act from Taxi (TV series), and the supporting players are consistently great.
The plot is cleverly-constructed and paced, and it's not until relatively close to the end that you get the final twist. The test of a great film for me is that you don't realise you've been watching it for 2 hours, because you are completely involved in the story - this movie is one of those. It's really difficult to find something wrong with it, and frankly I don't want to because it's just so good.
Thoroughly recommended (unless you're VERY squeamish)!
Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
Fascinating, beautifully shot and acted but slightly flawed
I wanted to see this for a long time, and finally bought the 2003 2-disc DVD director's cut recently. It's definitely one of De Niro's best, and I thought the cast generally were pretty good too. The locations are sumptuous and beautifully lit, and you are really drawn into the 1920's/30's. Less satisfying for me were the 60's segments, not because they were less visually convincing, but because I don't think they were completely coherent. The shot where De Niro is walking along the street with the money and obviously nervous suddenly morphs back to the 30's, and there's no apparent reason for this little sequence other than that jump-back. I also found it hard to believe that De Niro could not recognise James Woods as an older man - he hadn't changed that much and they were supposed to be best friends! The other weak point was that Elizabeth McGovern still looked far too young in the dressing room sequence, and she seemed remarkably happy to see Noodles, despite the fact that their previous encounter was when he raped her (albeit 30 years previously). The jumping forward/back in time was cleverly handled, but I can't help thinking that a chronological flow might be less distracting. Anyway, enough negativity. This is still a great film (definitely in the top 10 of modern gangster movies), and really involves you in the life of the key protagonists. A special mention for Joe Pesci too, who had really only a cameo, but was as excellent as ever.
Anita & Me (2002)
Bend it like (Brooklyn) Beckham - not quite all there!
I haven't read the book - apparently it's excellent - but the film tries and fails to be another Bend It. Anita is not a 3D character as played here, and Meena is not as engaging as she should be. The parents are both well-portrayed, and I think Kathy Burke steals the film, although Meera Syal runs her close as the over-powering aunt.There are lots of nice touches, and good lines, but you're left feeling short-changed. The script is a bit thin, and I think there's too much reliance on gags, and not enough on filling in the characters. The music soundtrack doesn't improve the film, although some of the songs were a nostalgic blast. I subscribe to the school of thought that says use music only where it adds to the overall experience; otherwise don't bother. I certainly enjoyed it, and rate it 6 out of 10 for its simple entertainment factor. However, whereas I can watch "Bend It" again and again, I will not return to this film.