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Reviews
What About Bob? (1991)
This is a "Bill Murray" movie
This ones easy. If you like Bill Murray, its a ten. If you don't like Bill Murray, then something isn't right and I'm very sorry.
"How's your brood? You all getting a chance to relax?!"
underrated movie line.
Honey Boy (2019)
I was wrong
Always figured Shia Lebeouf was a decent actor, but nothing special. I was wrong. It's one of the best performances I've seen in years, and not just from Shia, it's shocking how good the entire cast is. See it.
The Three Musketeers (1993)
Well it isn't good, but...
The story's predictable, the acting is boring (Tim Curry's agent needed money?), and the writing reminds me of an intro to drama class. Guilty pleasures are strange though, because despite it all i do like this movie. It hits a weird sweet spot, where the lazy acting makes some flaws easier to cope with.
Everything's simple. Why's the villain being a jerk? He's evil and greedy. Why's the hero being heroic? For honor and a dead dad. Why do only some character's have accents? Don't worry about it. How does D'Artagnan commit 1st degree murder without remorse? Psychopath.
Overall, most of the jokes are lame and most of the action is predictable, but it just kinda works here. It's the embodiment of every kids adventure fantasy. Pure 90s nostalgia.
Oh, and Charlie Sheen plays a priest. Fantastic!
Contact (1997)
A future classic
Starting with a book by Carl Sagan is a good start, what makes Contact great is no one screwed with it too much. Most movies age poorly, but Contact is a rare case that matures rather than decays. The 90s were kind of a weird time for movies and far too many relied on CG, overused like a crutch at the expense of any kind of story. At the time, I thought society was nearing the peak of what was possible through generated graphics. It's funny how things age, ironically it seems nothing ages worse than overdone effects (remember when Transformers looked amazing?). It's sad Carl Sagan wasn't able to cameo, but I think Contact was done with care and respect to it's source. Hopefully wherever he is, Mr. Sagan is aware of those he inspired to start searching through the "wasted space", and one day answer if we're really alone.
Carnival Magic (1983)
Do the right thing here...
Ironically, people giving a 10 star "so bad it's good" review may have their heart in the right place, but sadly do themselves and everyone else a disservice. At the time of this review, IMDB has Carnival Magic at 2.3. WAY too high.
I understand "The Room" holds the title of worst of all time (the WOAT?) But I strongly disagree. So what is it about Carnival Magic that makes it worse than The Room? I'm glad I asked! It all comes down to intent. Call it conspiracy theory but I've long felt The Room just a little TOO awful. Tommy Wisough(sp?) saw the masses of nostalgic hipsters and created for them their "Citizen Kane" (something I genuinely respect BTW). Carnival Magic ALSO thinks it's Citizen Kane. How does a movie this bad slip through so many people and get released? Well it's something future historians will struggle to answer. Its been said archeology is the study of trash, people's culture defined by their garbage. Carnival Magic is beautiful garbage. Real people wrote this script, real actors read for these parts, real casting directors hired these roles and somewhere a real director has this on a resume. Its a beautifully orchestrated train wreck done right, with tickets sold to passengers NOT to spectators!
(that train analogy was awesome)
So while the sheep continue "ironically" worshipping false idles, purchasing 4K special editions of Sharknado, waiting hours in line for a selfie with Tommy Wisoeh(sp? I refuse to Google that man), it's quiet unsung heroes, heroes like Carnival Magic, who sadly go unappreciated.
I urge you. Do what's right here, look into your heart. Give Carnival Magic the 1 star it deserves, the 1 star it earned.
The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019)
The family you choose
I'm glad I didn't see this when it came out. I would have enjoyed it, but not nearly as much. I watched it alone but clearly this is one to enjoy with family, and whether its family we choose or family we end up with, it's made pretty clear there's often little difference.
Now. As someone who never much liked him, whatever it is Mr. Labeouf is doing lately is working. So much so in fact, he's quickly becoming one of my favorite actors. This performance (along with Honey Boy) are absolutely good enough to generate Oscar "buzz". In fact, this movie deserves recognition for multiple categories, but for those who could care less about shiny statues from "the academy"? Its simply a great movie. Its funny. It's emotional. Its interesting. It's all these things, and it was done right. Its no secret how delicate of a challenge a character like Zak can be (see RDJ in Tropic Thunder for explanation) and intentional or not, far too many movies come off as exploitative when approaching a condition like Down Syndrome. I won't pretend to know what it takes to perfectly handle that kind of challenge, all i know is I saw Zak as just one thing, an interesting character.
As far as criticisms, a couple things do come to mind, but really nothing major. A few parts are a little cheesy, but it's a family type film so it's kinda expected. Like two people traveling on foot through rough terrain and somehow making it look easy, maybe too easy? Or the classic coincidence when two people "from totally different worlds" are thrown together and are about the same age, one's male, other female, both incredibly good looking? Amazing odds!
Look, it's a damn good movie and these are unsettling times. For the people stuck inside, trying to agree on what to watch together? This one. Watch this one.
They Shall Not Grow Old (2018)
Mind blowing
I really wasn't expecting it, but when it changes to color it's remarkable. I couldn't help but think of Wizard of Oz, its almost overwhelming how real so much history becomes. world war 1 never felt close, this movie does that. Everyone should watch this, if only to appreciate how terrifying life can be.
Ronin (1998)
Admitting it's a biased review..
I was in tenth grade when this came out, most people may not remember this was NOT a huge blockbuster. I remember renting it on some random weekend, and while I expected it to be good, I wasn't expecting to be blown away.
It's just a damn good action/crime movie. It's exactly what it set out to be, which may sound boring except Ronin does it in a way that feels honest and genuine instead of generic. And that car chase?! A prime example of the "dark days" of CGI. I saw Ronin almost 20 years ago, yet the chase scenes STILL look amazing! Sadly, many films from the era were using CGI as a crutch, and used way too much. Ironically, all the money and effort spent on "modern" effects, turned out to be the best way to "age" a movie. It was a weird time, EVERY DAMN MOVIE was trying to be The Matrix, even family films like Shrek somehow ended up with "fancy" still-frame shots wedged in. Thank God Ronin didn't do that, but I'm sure it effected box office numbers at the time.
I wouldn't go as far as "hidden gem", but considering how popular Ronin is today, it's kinda surprising to see such tame box office totals. Since much of my opinion comes from feelings toward the industry as a whole, I admit this rating is biased. What I also know, is if this movie had twice the budget and spent millions on "modern Matrix style" effects? This 10 would probably be a 9. If it made hundreds of millions when it was released? The 9 prolly falls to an 8.
I guess what I'm saying is, certain things that prolly "hurt" this movie 20 years ago, are ironically what make it stand out today. I don't have to worry about one day laughing at dated action scenes, cause they were done right.
The Rainmaker (1997)
Great movie....and yes I've read the book
It's not the book, but that's a positive. The movie focus's more on the trial, and as a "lawyer" movie it's one of the better ones. It's the casting that carries the film. The leads usually get most of the (deserved) credit, but the supporting characters are often overlooked. Oscar winner Teresa Wright is a perfect Birdie, and Mickey Rourke as bruiser?! Come on, even people who hate this adaptation gotta admit that's a pretty great fit.
Yes. The books better, just let it go and enjoy the movie.
A Little Late with Lilly Singh (2019)
Maybe I'm biased....
I went in pretty much knowing it was awful, so no surprise when it really was. Fun fact! Critics on Rotten tomatoes rated this show 💯. Multiple people, known for their appreciation of entertainment, unanimously declared this show to be perfect!! I find that remarkable.