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savage-grrrl
Reviews
Nadine in Date Land (2005)
No Redeeming Features
What on earth is Janeane Garofalo doing in this movie? I thought I could enjoy watching her in just about anything, but this movie proved otherwise. This is bad even by "made for television" standards. The plot is far-fetched at best, the jokes are predictable and not particularly funny -- mostly consisting of torturing the title character with one excruciating incident after another. Tamala Jones was the only good thing about this movie, and even she was pent in by stereotypes at every turn. What a waste of talent all around. I would say that I hope this is this low point in Garofalo's body of work, but I honestly can't imagine what could be worse.
Consenting Adults (1992)
Unlikely and Unlikeable
This movie is both unlikely and unlikeable. It is unlikely that good actors would sign on to such a ridiculous and implausible screenplay. Perhaps neither Kline nor Spacey read the script before agreeing to do this film. That seems the most plausible explanation.
At some point one would imagine that someone would have asked the director just why the audience should give a flying flip about the fate of the alleged protagonist. He is a man being framed for the murder of his neighbor, when he was only guilty of raping her. (I should also note that he had also arranged to have his own wife raped by the husband of his victim, but that man, the alleged antagonist, did not follow through. Instead he killed the woman Kline's character had assaulted and set out to frame him for it.) The women in this movie are as vapid as the men are vile. The framed character's wife ultimately forgives him when he is cleared of the murder without any regard for the fact that he had snuck over to their neighbor's house in the middle of the night to have sex with another woman without her consent. She also doesn't seem to mind that he had volunteered her for the same treatment.
The Painted Veil (2006)
The Wages of Sin is Death
The wages of sin is death, or so I am told. I wanted to rate this movie higher, and without the beginning and the end of it, I would have gladly.
The middle of this film is a beautiful, touching portrait of two fragile individuals in a marriage on the mend. The beginning and the end seem tacked on and hollow by comparison -- not only not adding, but a real detriment to the rest of the film.
The description of this film on Netflix talks of Naomi Watts' character being "shunned" by her husband, played by Edward Norton, but nothing could be further from the truth. He is doting, if somewhat unaccustomed to company. Her affair makes her seem heartless, which she later proves could not be further from the case.
In the final scene she spurns the lover who so many years prior had sent the life of her and her husband spiraling off in a tragic direction, but this is a completely unnecessary act as the audience should by that point well know that she is an entirely different person than that which we saw at the beginning of the film.
La pianiste (2001)
The Devil Inside
This film was hard to watch because of its unflinching view of the monsters inside us all. Isabella Huppert's performance is stunning and while the rest of the cast is stumbling to keep up, it doesn't much matter. Her force of personality propels this story forward to its inevitable demise like a runaway train.
There is some question of just what draws her to her young lover, but then perhaps she recognizes the monster that will be released within the confines of their affair. Some might want to argue that it doesn't seem at all likely for so many sick people to be dwelling within such close proximity to one another, but then those people have never gone trolling for internet porn.
Empire of the Sun (1987)
Much Ado About Nothing
Steven Spielberg is a sadist. If this movie isn't evidence enough then I direct your attention to "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" He tortured the animated shoes to death. Enough said.
This film centers around another ineffectual protagonist though it isn't his fault as he is the offspring of ineffectual parents. It is very hard to care much about any of them as they persist at calling their unfortunate fates down upon their own heads. One could try to argue that this is a coming of age film and that the young Jim isn't responsible for the actions he takes at the start of the film, but he isn't that young and he doesn't manage to evolve so much as become further damaged.
Visually this film would have been stunning if Spielberg wasn't busy beating the audience about the head with his "poignant" images -- footsteps in powder blowing away when a window is opened, a building sized poster for "Gone with the Wind" as the cruel wind blows on our downtrodden hero, the trappings of aristocracy gathered and abandoned in an empty arena that is occupied by the starving masses. We get it, but does he? Just to make sure we don't miss the point that war is hell he kills off Jim's young Japanese friend after the danger has cleared for everyone else. It is a senseless act of violence just like war; or is just gratuitous for the pleasure of a man hellbent on prolonging the pain of his audience? In typical Spielberg fashion, within moments the death is forgotten and a happy ending is had by all -- except, of course, the expendable minority character.