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begley_michael
Reviews
The Dark Hand (2016)
What???!!???
This person spends like hours searching through and old abandoned building. It's excruciatingly slow. It's so slow that you'll forget who the original missing person is. There are weird characters that appear throughout the film that have nothing to do with the plot. Did I just mention plot? Hahahahahaha. That must be what everyone is lookin for in this godawful mess. This will can be used in film classes on how not to make a suspense film. The writer/director/editor needs ro step back and learn from this mes of a movie. I regret wasting 90 minutes on a Saturday night watching it. Don't waste yours.
Cryptid (2022)
Why the high rating?
I'm not sure why this film is getting such a high rating. Maybe friends and family are bombarding the sight to up the rating. The film is filled with unlikable characters, especially the main protagonist. I was was hoping that the reptilian monster would get him so we'd all breathe a sigh of relief. The special effects are not retro, they're laughable. The editing is extremely choppy, especially when the monster shows up. How many dogs were killed in this movie? Isn't there a better way to move the story forward? Also, why is it raining every night. Every single night. Oh, brother. Sloppy and lazy writing.
The Lair (2022)
WTF?
Probably the worst movie I've seen in a long, long time. The acting is laughable, the dialogue is cringe-inducing, plot is preposterous. Disgusting stereotypes on the verge of racism. Who greenlit this turkey? I'm hoping this is the last movie the producers, director and screenwriter ever made. It's mot even worthy of a Syfy movie. Shall I mention the special effects? Men in rubber suits is the extent of it. I can't think one positive thing to say about it I can't believe I paid 2.99 for this. I should demand a refund and get 2.99 for the mental anguish of being subjected to this atrocity. The end.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Where do I start?
Special effects are great, but that's about it. Chris Pratt cannot act himself out of a bag. There are so many plot holes and scenes that just make you scratch your head. And two and a half hours? A wasted afternoon.
Arctic Void (2022)
A Void alright
A film in which absolutely nothing happens. Beautiful cinematography, though. Reminds me of a certain M. Night Shyamalan movie called The Happening. A great concept that utterly fails.
Malignant (2021)
Say What?
Production values are fantastic. The storyline? I know we're watching a horror movie. But jeesh, can't they make it the tiniest bit believable? How many cops are killed? A hundred? Don't waste your two hours.
Nine Lives (2002)
Oh boy
I couldn't wait for them all to be killed off. An annoying bunch of actors ever assembled in one Scottish mansion.
The Possession (2012)
Not bad
The noisest horror film. Very distracting "music."
When the Fever Breaks (2019)
Omg
What's worse, the acting or the dialogue? The editing is also a headscratcher. How they got financing for this atrocity is the real question.