hushicho Reviews

Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

Surprising Disappointment from Uncommonly Incompetent Miyazaki

[1/10 · 15 August 2005]

For the first time I have seen a Miyazaki film I actively dislike.

Howl's Moving Castle is one of the worst films I have ever seen, period, Miyazaki or otherwise. My reservations about it were totally founded, since Miyazaki does best when he doesn't do overt 'romance' (but then the 'romance' in this was a total joke) and does his own work. The novel upon which the film is based is an annoying clump of nonsense spouted by someone whose writing style is apparently to be as irritating as possible.

Miyazaki's version, which takes some liberties with the source material, is just as sickeningly bad. Visually beautiful, it's incoherent plotwise and has some of the worst acting ever appearing in his films...thanks for casting the talentless Takuya Kimura (boy band singer) as the lead. His lacking, cardboard delivery was as weak as any English dub could be. The 'love' is forced and stupid, between two lame-duck characters who have about as much chemistry as a piece of lettuce and a cork. The ending is a shambles and cheapens the entire previous film, and the forced inclusion of an anti-war message actually manages to be insulting to those of us who are anti-war; it's embarrassing to watch it be handled in such an incongruous and outright embarrassing way in this film.

The stupid, unsympathetic heroine for no real reason gets a curse put on her and stumbles into the realm of the vapid hero (if you can call him that; casting in-type for Takuya Kimura though), and boring hijinks ensue. There's no real reason for anything happening in the film, and you aren't moved to really care about the conflict between these countries, nothing of which is expanded upon in the excuse for a 'story'. Some things happen, people are introduced and subsequently forgotten about, and nobody any impact on the screen; perhaps it's because these were never Miyazaki's characters. They have no strength like his usually do. Their designs are utterly uninspired. Then in the last four minutes, everything gets tied up in the most unconvincing, stupid way that makes you feel like you just wasted two hours of your life waiting for it to happen. It's not made to be an experience like Totoro, it's supposed to be a direct sort of story...but it takes forever.

Miyazaki could've...and should've...taken a few pages from his own book and drawn us into a conflict as in Nausicaa...a film where we could actually understand what was happening and actually care about the outcome, and why these people were fighting. Nausicaa, in the film, was a strong and sympathetic heroine entirely resolved in her convictions. Howl's heroine has little real conviction except what other people persuade her to have. She doesn't suit Miyazaki's usual style of youthful yet strong heroines. She was just some stupid girl on the screen, nothing more.

Similarly, Howl was just a vain, inept 'wizard'. He wasn't sympathetic or likable, cute or endearing, he was just stupid and narcissistic and had no real redeeming qualities. Were we supposed to imagine he fell in love with Sophie or whatever her name was? Uh huh...what with all their powerful scenes together and such...if they had a single scene together that ever indicated anything even approaching so much as friendship until the last five seconds of the film, I missed it. The two had no chemistry and acted as two strangers who happened to be in the same general vicinity. Yet another stupid anime standard, the two characters who 'fall in love' because they just happen to be of the opposite gender and spend some time together in the same general area. Because, you know, nobody ever can spend time together with the opposite gender without falling in love, especially during a stressful period of conflict! For once, the supporting characters were just as vapid. There was not a single likable character in this film, nor did anyone stick in my memory as much as any other Miyazaki film. No bizarre and strange No-Face. No knight errant of Nausicaa. No gentle father of Totoro. There was no one even remotely distinct. It was irredeemable. And that is a shame, because something to which Miyazaki gives such effort should not be. It should be better, by its nature, than anything else put out at the time. Howl's deserves to be forgotten, and quickly. It's really pretty shameful that Miyazaki, in his zeal to make an anti-war statement, chose such a sloppy vehicle to tack it onto, and in such an indelicate way. Where is the subtlety we saw in his other movies, the beautiful message we could take to heart and understand, and love? Compared to a masterpiece like Nausicaa, Howl's Moving Castle looks like any other stereotypical shoddy anime joke. But it's not just a joke, it's a tragedy since it should have been good.

I hope the low opinion of viewers both in Japan and abroad of this film will encourage Miyazaki, if he opts to make another film, to use his own story. Maybe next time, if he wants to make a statement, he can take his time and do something decent instead of embarrassing.

I looked to Miyazaki's films to be different from most anime output, to be a refreshing and unique outlet for beauty, hope, optimism, strength, and lovely morals that are subtly communicated. This film was a joke by comparison. It stumbled through its clumsy storytelling from beginning to end. If you haven't seen it yet...don't! It's awful, and if you've seen any other of Miyazaki's work it will leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth. If you haven't seen any of his work, after seeing this you won't want to.

We should never have to say 'I found your movie terrible'. He's better than that, or used to be anyway. I hope perhaps he will put out something decent before he retires as he's discussed many times.

The Watcher in the Woods (1980)

Incredible film that holds up well to age

[21 September 2004]

When I was younger I saw this film for the first time and it made an impact, although with age of course the memories faded. However, when I spotted the recent release DVD of this title I had to get it. I felt compelled, and so I snatched it up. When I sat down to watch it, I was instantly drawn into a world of eerie mystery that's surprisingly well-done, especially for a film that bears the name of Disney, notorious for their sanitized, 'family-friendly' fare. This certainly wasn't anything like most of their films, and it was a welcome change. I found myself putting together the mystery a bit faster than the characters, although I was indeed thrown a curve by the ending, which was still quite impacting. The thing about it is, even the alternate endings included on the DVD are still just as impacting, each in its own way. Each one makes quite an impression, and each one resolves the story without tying up each loose end in an impossibly pat way. The 'default' ending is abrupt but poignant, whereas the others are more drawn-out and overtly horrific. But the buildup makes it so, and the buildup is absolutely faultless, especially with the inclusion of the understated and brilliant Bette Davis.

I was absolutely floored by it. Watcher in the Woods is every bit as brilliant a horror film as any other much-discussed title, if not better. It's reminiscent of Lovecraft in many ways and yet gives a distinct impression of a dark, dark fairy tale. The acting is very good, the cast excellent, and the settings simple and isolated yet stunning and evocative. Every fan of film, horror fans in particular, must see The Watcher in the Woods. The DVD release is something that collectors too will enjoy, with the trailers and alternate endings cleaned and clarified for their magnificent DVD presentation. This is a film that should, and will, live in history as one of the hidden gems of film.

Sweet Home (1989)

Surprisingly Excellent

[10/10 · 24 June 2002]

After I played the original Famicom game recently, dubbed the 'father of survival horror', and after being suitably impressed by the game itself I began my long and difficult search for this movie title. Although it remains unknown to anyone that I've consulted whether the movie was based on the game or vice-versa, either way both are excellent.

I was impressed most of all by the consistently-excellent acting of Miyamoto Nobuko, whose appearances in film almost always guarantee at least one enjoyable character. However, all the acting in this was exceptional, especially NOKKO's, whom I had not seen in any film before this one. I am still unsure as to who played Kazuo, the main male lead, but he was of course excellent, although it was of course Akiko (Miyamoto) who demonstrated her personal strength throughout.

How this film manages to convey a touching message about the bond between a mother and her child in the midst of terror and horrific special effects is beyond me, but it somehow manages to do it quite well, and it also stays very faithful in many ways to the game, which impressed me; it shows how well a story can be translated into both game and movie medium. Especially since this also seems to point out the weakness of similar Hollywood efforts, which almost always are disastrous.

All in all, this movie was very well-paced, terrifying, and tense, but somehow remained touching as well. The scares weren't too graphic or obvious, but by the time the 'big guns' were pulled out on the effects, you were fully drawn in. A true classic and a great film.

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

A true disappointment

[1/10 · 18 May 2002]

Although the first film was highly criticized for its mascot injection of Jar-Jar (who didn't actually appear any more than the equally annoying C-3PO of the original trilogy), the second film takes another tone and another turn, attempting to further chronicle the downfall of doomed Anakin Skywalker.

Unfortunately in this brave attempt, it falls flat on its face.

Lucas's obviously lacking grasp of philosophy and the spiritual practices upon which he purports to base Jedi beliefs make this a true disaster for anyone watching who follows any of these spiritualist practices, because the assertion that these Jedi must be totally emotionless to function is not only ridiculous but also completely not borne out from the actions of the Jedi in the film!

That aside, the worst part of the film must be the truly forced, unlikely, and extremely uncomfortable "relationship" between Anakin and Amidala. To be so publicized, it's very forced and unlikely, and honestly it disturbed me a great deal and seemed quite unrealistic. Judging this by logic and knowing a good bit about relationships from experience, this one was portrayed in the worst way possible, and by two of the worst actors possible. The allure of Amidala's exotic costumes and accents from the first episode was all gone, leaving the wholly unfulfilling and wooden acting of Natalie Portman, who is at best bland, and of course the almost laughable Hayden Christensen, who does about as well as Jake Lloyd on the belching out of his overly hostile lines.

This has all of the glitz of the Star Wars saga but none of the fun or appeal. Of all the movies in the quintet that now exist, this is undoubtedly the worst. All the continuity flaws, poor acting, bad writing, and hyped-up nonsense make this the largest disappointment of the entire summer. Save your money unless you're one of the die-hard Star Wars fans, in which case Lucas could probably scrape up any old garbage on a plate and you'd think it was brilliant anyway.

A truly hideous travesty of the sci-fi genre, I wouldn't be surprised if a good many fans of this trilogy stop watching right now. I certainly won't be packing the theater for Episode III.