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Reviews
Rats - Notte di terrore (1984)
makes ed wood look like Antonioni.
This has to be the most unintentionally funny film ever made. What's so brilliant is the sheer seriousness of all the actors as they mug their way through. This also has to go down in history as having the least threatening adversary ever; the rats themselves are cute little things that simply hang about on the floor in groups of ten or twenty, occasionally being thrown about, or dropped onto the actors heads. The film consists of the characters going inexplicably hysterical, and screaming their heads off at a bunch of rodents looking confused and trying to scuttle off in the other direction.
There is a hilarious bit where one of the characters lists all the diseases that rats carry, as if that is meant to add to their nonexistent threat, all it does is make the guy sound like a moany hypochondriac. Other amazing scenes include a girl stuck in a sleeping bag (!), the characters discovering boxes full of food (they have been starving for days), and throwing most of it all over the floor (and onto each other's hair), wasting it, as they rejoice in happiness. The best is saved for last though with one of the most stupid twists in film history. It looks like it was filmed in a disused spaghetti western set, complete with saloon etc.
Other contenders for the worst Italian horror include: Zombie 4- After death, fatal Frames, Zombie Creeping flesh, porno Holocaust, Demonia, The Bloodsucker leads the dance (All terrible in their own special ways), but Simply put, this one takes the biscuit, and holds the crown for utter relentless gibberish. If you appreciated 'Garth marenghi's Dark place', then you'll love this. A timeless, Oscar-worthy classic.
We Own the Night (2007)
Noir meets body snatchers.
I missed this film on its release but caught it on DVD. I must say that contrary to most people on this review board, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It is rare to find an American thriller that has this level of depth to it. Nobody has pointed out the fact that this has one of the most bleak endings ever. The NYPD are portrayed as a kind of vampiric, masonic cult that pull phoenix's character from the warm Arcadia of his romance with the beautiful Eva Mendez, into it's sinister clutches. By the end of the film, Phoenix sits in his police uniform, a shadow of his former self, every friend eliminated, his father dead, and his brother an emasculated bundle of nerves, pale, glaring.
The title of the film alludes to this, suggesting that the police force are an army of vampires, prowling the streets at night (worthy of David Goodis). The criminals are presented as lizard- like murderers targeting family members before prime targets, dipping fur coats in liquified cocaine. At certain moments, Phoenix looks like how James Dean would look if he had survived the crash. Plus this film has one of the best car chase sequences I have seen for a long while, no heroics here, just pure, lethal confusion. Recommended highly.
Frontière(s) (2007)
Boring Mess.
I just thought I had to throw in my penny's worth here and express my surprise at the glowing reviews for this film. Normally I tend to agree with the majority of reviews in the IMDb comments bit, but I feel like I live on a different planet to most of my fellow reviewers here. I had really high expectations for this movie, I loved Haute Tension, Calvaire, Sheitan, Inside, Trouble Every Day, Irreversible, Dobermann, etc etc; These new french horror flicks are really exciting, they follow the lead from the 80s french horror 'Baby Blood', in that they are uncompromising, gory, unpredictable, and even sexy. Frontier(s), sounded like it could easily fit in with this ethos, but it was a total blow out.
Frontier(s) is slickly shot, quite gory, and has some bits that should be scary, but it has this horribly immature atmosphere to it, like it was made by a bunch of 15 year old kids let loose with a decent budget and short term memory loss. The editing is ridiculous, rendering the film unwatchable and incoherent in the action scenes, Frontier(s) makes 'Van Helsing' look like a Bela Tarr movie. The acting is really bad too, with the main characters performances reminding me of some kind of inner London 'Yoof' centre Am-Dram play. The director has obviously watched 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and realised that if everyone screams their head off and goes into (unconvincing) spasms, then they will create a scary atmosphere. All it does is pull you out of the film.
Finally, the plot is completely stupid (even by horror standards), introducing a Nazi sub- plot (There is definitely a 'La Haine' type plot element, with Paris rioters coming into contact with neo-Nazis, hmm), and making no attempt at all to explain anything.
If you want to watch a film where by the end you feel like you have been shouted at and smacked around the face with a packet of Bernard Mathews gammon for 10 hours, then watch this film. Otherwise avoid like the bubonic plague.