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Reviews
Day of the Dead (1985)
"Blow the p*** out of them? All of them?"
A lot of people look at Day of the Dead and completely cast it away as being a poor film solely on the fact that it's not as good as the previous Dawn of the Dead. I agree that Dawn of the Dead is a much better film, although you have to remember that Day of the Dead has a completely different scenario and plot. Zombies have taken over the world, it's gone past the point of rednecks and the army trying to clear up. The world is in ruins, there are few survivors, if not any.
A group of scientists posted by the government are working underground clear of the zombies, trying to find a method of 'containing' the zombie epidemic. Also there's a group of soldiers down there who are supposedly there to cater for the scientists needs, eg collection of zombies for the scientists to test on. Although, there are immediate personality clashes with both the soldiers and the scientists. This makes interesting viewing, as the story is not like an ordinary plot where a group of people are trying to escape from zombies. There are some great scenes where the soldiers and scientists are fighting.
There are some excellent death scenes too, some a lot more technically realistic looking than that in Dawn of the Dead. Especially when Pilato is pulled in half moaning 'choke on em!'. If you take a good look at some of the zombies in this and compare them to Dawn of the Dead they also are a lot more realistic, they seem to be less 'alive' looking and tend to look a lot more rotten. Also, a lot of the zombies seem to have their own personalities, everytime I watch I can see different zombies in there, such as a wedding zombie, a clown zombie, a football zombie, a balarina zombie etc. I think those are some especially good touches.
If you read the Day of the Dead script which is floating around on the internet, you can perhaps see a little bit better on how Romero intended the film to be. If you're a true fan of zombie films you'll be able to appreciate Day of the Dead for what it is, don't be blinded by the fact that it's a sequel to an amazing film which was a lot better. It has it's good points, and it's definitely entertaining.
Children of the Living Dead (2001)
A disgrace to zombie films
This is one of those films where you say to yourself 'they don't make em like they used to!'
Children of the Dead is a complete disgrace to ever have been filmed, and to cash in even more on the zombie film genre. Which I don't oppose to, I just believe that if you're going to film a zombie film then it has to be done properly else it will come out looking like a load of trash.
I couldn't believe the DVD/VHS cover! It looks so awful, basically looks like a childs attempt at making the cover with word. To try and sell it they have a '2001 production' on there, which makes you gag even more to think that this pile of trash was made very recently. But the worst by far is that they have the cheek to make this comment:
'Bred from the creators of the classic horror 'Night of the Living Dead' comes the long awaited sequel'
How dare they say that it's a sequel!
Savini...what the hell was he thinking to get involved with this film! I can tell that it's surely a film he wishes to forget. Savini is perhaps the only good thing in this film by far, although you know what they say 'too much of a good thing' so they kill him off after the first 15 or so minutes. Big mistake. That was the ONLY thing at a push that the film had going for it.
There's a scene where a bunch of kids are in a VW van (a la' Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and the dialogue sounds as if they're reading it off a piece of paper in front of them. There is no acting here at all, just looks like a joke. But the scene which makes me feel as if I don't know if I should laugh or cry, is when they see 'Abbot hayes' creeping across the road infront of the van. If you have this on dvd, watch the way he walks across the road taking long strides and looking NOTHING like a zombie. The next thing the car pulls off the road in like 3 frames and falls off a cliff! CLASSIC BAD FILMING MOMENT!
I could go on forever about the bad dubbing, acting, filming, plot, fx, but I won't. All I can say is that if you're a fan of the zombie film genre then you probably should give this a watch, just so you're in the know about how bad this film is. But don't go out your way to get a copy and DO NOT expect anything good out of it, because there is nothing. Otherwise stay away from this film! Hopefully it will be long forgotten about into the bad film abyss.
Troll 2 (1990)
The film to end ALL BAD films...
There are simply no words than can describe Troll 2. The cover is just pure evil, it has images on the front that look so disgusting they make you ill. And i'm not talking about the US version here which has a picture with a completely different actor on the front!? I'm talking about the UK PAL version of Troll 2. On the back of the cover they actually spell it 'NilboRg' which is just even more of a complete mess up. The text on the back is written as if a ten year old child has come up with the scenario. After opening the old 2nd hand big box VHS of Troll 2 the 'T2 curse' was upon me. The next hour and a half of my life would be the worst I have EVER spent viewing a film.
The film is so poorly acted and has such a bad plot, fx, sound, camera work and make up that there should be a law placed upon this film that it should never be watched and that all known copies of this film should be blasted far away into space.
The sound was utterly diabolical and sounded as if it had been recorded through a sock. From the cheesy pathetic intro music to the actual dialogue itself.
The plot itself is something that I can assure you was written on the back of a napkin in 10 minutes. The final showdown where 'Joshua' confronts the trolls and unmasks his 'secret weapon' just makes me want to simply END my own life.
The FX are actual BELOW low budget status. Such as the AMAZING scene where a troll throws a spear into some idiot. He basically holds the spear in himself, to look as if he's been 'speared'. At this point I'm shouting so loud at the screen with abuse, but they simply cannot hear me. Check out the 'troll' masks! Where did they get them from? I'm guessing they were picked up at a discount shop in the middle of the summer where they'd been lying in a box for some time. They are NOT even in the slightest bit frightening or represent what is supposed to look like a troll.
I recently saw this film in a shop on DVD on an extremely low budget label. I felt like buying all the copies in the shop just so I could take them home and burn them, and save someone the pain of ever having to sit through and watch.
If you're looking for the worst horror film ever, then it truly is right here. Troll 2. The director should be proud that's he's made a film that has achieved such cult status of being so terrible. This is the film to end all bad films...EVER!
Braindead (1992)
The definitive gore film...
Coming across this film was like coming across the holy grail of all gore films unknowingly. I bought this film very near it's release not really knowing what I was in for. I had seen Peter Jackson's previous 2 movies and they were both excellent so I was only looking forward to what the next installation he was giving us was like. The cover and design didn't really do the movie justice at all, except there was a quote from a very popular newspaper saying 'makes evil dead look like a sunday picnic'. I remember thinking that was either a really bold comment or a very stupid one. Only after viewing the film that quote is dead right.
The film started off great with a good storyline and very comical moments. It was really quite faultless. I was thinking another great Jackson film! But what I wasn't prepared for is nearer towards the when the whole film turns into a complete gore fest! Which was most possibly the most funny and entertaining piece of film I have ever seen. After watching the film I was completely blown away with how excellent it was. Comedy/horror/splatter film is all that you could say Braindead is, and it's presented perfectly. It really is in a class of it's own.
And what still shocks me to this very day is how can this film be completely uncut in the UK, when there are 'video nasties' out there that don't even come close to the gore content of Braindead. I think the only way it was ever released uncut by the BBFC was probably because that it was TOO extreme to ever be taken seriously. Peter Jackson is an amazing film director, and you can see this from the beginning of his career in filming right upto modern day cinema with the Lord of the Rings.
Go buy Braindead today, I assure you will not have seen anything like it before. Enjoy!
10/10!
Day of the Woman (1978)
Don't believe the hype...
Living in the UK this film has always been classed as a 'video nasty' and the only way for me to see this was to 'obtain' a bootleg version of it to see it completely uncut. I wasn't tempted to buy the UK R2 DVD that has just been passed as an 18 cert by the bbfc, with might I add still has 7 mins cut! Still, viewing the cut 7 minutes doesn't make this film better in any possible way.
I've only been bothered to watch this film once and that was with a friend which made is slightly uncomfortable to sit through and watch nearly 40 mins of watching a woman getting raped and beaten. But it's expected anyway if you're gonna watch this film. Still, this load of trash has only ever been made famous because of it's 'video nasty status', which is just a poor plot for a film anyway. The acting was completely awful, and there was really no atmosphere or any attempt to make one. Except maybe besides the 'penis chop' scene when the guy is bleeding to death in the bath and she's sitting in the other room rocking back and forth listening to classical music. But that's all I can think of. At a push thats probably the only good scene in the film.
Don't believe the hype...this isn't an amazing film as it's sometimes perceived. If you're looking for a true good horror video nasty then go watch something like 'The Beyond' by Lucio Fulci.
Sang faa sau see (1998)
Hong Kong horror/comedy that works!
Well, i'm extremely pleased I saw this film when I had the chance. I managed to see it late one night on 'Film Four Extreme', not knowing what i'd be in for. I was expecting a cheap zombie effort that I would have to force myself to sit through. But I was wrong!
First of all I have not seen the newly 'dubbed' version of this film and do not wish to either. I have seen two different versions which different subtitles. The first was on 'Film four' which seemed to have been translated by someone british, I could tell because most of the slang was british. The other version of subtitiling is from the HK region 0 DVD and NOT the newly release US version of this film which I think has the dubbing. The DVD subtitling isn't great because some of it is translated very poorly, whereas the 'Film four' version of this is grammar perfect.
From the very opening shots of the film I actually found myself laughing! Could this be!? A horror film that is actually truly funny and isn't 'Return of the Living Dead'! Two characters called 'Crazy Bee' and 'Woody Invincible' work at a VCD shop in a neon like indoor mall, and accidently run into this person in their car which is inevitably a zombie. They take the body back to the mall in the trunk of their car only to release that its missing and starting all kinds of trouble in the mall. That's the basic plot from there without giving anything away. But I assure you, you'll find yourself laughing! There are some classic moments in it.
Now, for the Zombie genre horror people out there I still suggest checking this out. As far as I know there are few zombie films out there that seem to be able to work with comedy. A couple that spring to mind are 'Return of the Living Dead' and 'Brain Dead'. Although Bio Zombie may not be as good as either of these in effects, its still an equally great zombie film. There are minimal gore scenes and no truly amazing SFX but it doesn't let it's low budget appereance hurt the film at all. Still there are some great gore scenes, such as the 'tap in the face' where Bee jams a tap pipe into a zombies head and turns on the fawcett and blood comes out the end! Not to mention a scene with a drill in the mouth! There are good points to be had for the true zombie genre horror fan. If you do get the chance to see this on 'Film four' then I suggest you do, because this version of the subtitles are a lot better.
Zombi 2 (1979)
Fulci lives!
Although I don't see this as one of Fulci's best films I think it's probably the most popular of his work. English title 'Zombie Flesheaters' has been known for it's typical Fulci 'Eye violence' scene where a young girl gets her eye poked out with a splinter of wood. And still to this very day this scene looks as realistic as it did when it was first released. There are some other gore scenes but nothing that really equals the 'splinter in the eye' scene. Although there are some great efects and makeup I think the actual plot of the film suffers poorly as well as the diabolic dubbing. There are definately better zombie genre plots out there (see 'Living dead at manchester morgue'. Basic plot is a newspaper writter and a young woman goes to an 'supposed' cursed island with a couple of tourists to find 'anne's father'. They get there and slowly zombies start to appear etc...I think you can get the plot. But this isn't a terrbile zombie film, don't get me wrong! It does shine in ways that i've never seen before, such as the underwater zombie scene taking a bite out of a shark! There are some good classic moments to be seen from Zombie Flesheaters but don't be expected a great plot. If you're a fan of the Zombie film genre and are interested in other films by Fulci then check out one of my all-time favourites 'The Beyond'.
No profanar el sueño de los muertos (1974)
Excellent spanish epic zombie film
Being a fan of all genres of horror, but an absolute passion for 'zombie films' I had to get a copy of 'Living Dead at Manchester Morgue' (english title). Managed to pick up the complete uncut Anchor Bay DVD release (known as 'let sleeping corpses lie'), and I suggest if you're gonna watch it then to get this version. There are some pre-cert copies of the film floating around but I managed to steer clear of these due to most of the gore scenes had been cut (Most notably the 'Breast grab'). The anchor bay release features a beautiful widescreen ratio enhanced for 16x9 TV's and a truly great sound transfer (you can choose from Dolby digital or Dolby Surround). Has an excellent interview with Director Jorge Grau, TV spots, radio spots,a posters and stills gallery and liner notes. Anchor Bay have done a good job with this one. You can also pick up the limited edition tin set which includes the standard dvd and collectors cards of the international posters as well as 'toe identity tag'!
Straight away from the opening scenes I could tell this was no ordinary 70's run of the mill horror film. The countryside is captured beautifully and I don't think i've seen a zombie film before set in the 'heart of the country' as it were (besides perhaps Hammer horror movie 'Plague of the Zombies'). The countryside scenes made this film appeal to me even more, seen as most of its shot in England in the Lake District which isn't very far from me. Also the county (Staffordshire) in which I live, there are some apparent shots taken there. Unlike a lot of other Zombie films, this one seemed to work to try and have more of a story line and more of a plot. I won't give away the complete plot but basically an agricultural machine that uses radiation to kill pests from crops has an effect on recently dead bodies to bring them back to 'living dead' state. Sounds a bit like 'Night of the living dead'? Well it's not at all. But, to be honest that isn't the complete plot in a nutshell as you probably think it might be. Instead there are many twists to the story which keep it alive rather than just your standard 'zombies are taking over the world, lets escape' plot.
If you're a fan of zombie film genre or a someone that can appreciate good horror then definately get a copy of this film.