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Reviews
Spy Kids: Armageddon (2023)
Spy Kids: Armageddon (2023) - A Disastrous Attempt at Rebooting a Franchise
"Spy Kids: Armageddon," the much-anticipated reboot of the beloved franchise, is a catastrophic failure in every sense of the word. Roberto Rodriguez seems to have lost his touch entirely, delivering a film that not only tarnishes the legacy of the original movies but also leaves the audience questioning the very essence of storytelling.
From the beginning, it's evident that Rodriguez has abandoned the heart and soul of the Spy Kids series. The once-charming child spies, Juni and Carmen Cortez, are reduced to mere caricatures of their former selves. Their witty dialogues and endearing sibling dynamics are replaced by cringe-worthy one-liners and forced chemistry, making it painful for fans of the original films to watch.
The plot, if it can even be called that, is a convoluted mess. The storyline jumps erratically from one poorly executed action sequence to another, leaving the audience bewildered and disconnected. The introduction of new gadgets and gizmos feels forced and uninspired, lacking the innovation.
Rodriguez's direction further exacerbates the film's problems. The action scenes, which should have been the movie's saving grace, are plagued by shoddy choreography and sloppy editing. The once-impressive visual effects are now laughably outdated, making it seem like a desperate attempt to cash in on nostalgia without putting in the effort to update the film for modern audiences.
Moreover, the performances from the cast are uninspired at best. It's almost painful to watch talented actors sleepwalk through their roles, delivering lines with a lack of conviction that further emphasizes the overall lack of effort put into this project.
In conclusion, "Spy Kids: Armageddon" is a prime example of how not to revive a beloved franchise. Roberto Rodriguez's direction, paired with a lackluster script and uninspired performances, results in a film that is not only forgettable but also deeply disappointing for fans who were hoping for a worthy successor to the original Spy Kids movies. Instead of breathing new life into the series, Rodriguez has managed to bury it even deeper, leaving audiences to wonder why this ill-conceived reboot was ever made in the first place.
Hypnotic (2023)
A Mind-Bending Disaster Without Redemption
Where do I even begin with Hypnotic? This cinematic catastrophe by Robert Rodriguez is not just a bad movie; it's a soul-sucking experience that leaves you questioning the choices you've made in life, especially the one that led you to waste precious minutes on this mind-bending disaster.
The plot, if you can call it that, is a hodgepodge of half-baked ideas and nonsensical twists that feel like they were conjured up by a group of sleep-deprived monkeys with typewriters. From the very start, it's evident that the writers had no clue where the story was heading, resulting in a confusing mess of unrelated events stitched together with the finesse of a blindfolded toddler playing with scissors and glue.
The characters are so poorly developed that you couldn't care less if they all fell into a black hole and vanished from the screen.
And let's talk about the dialogue, or rather, the cringe-inducing lines that the poor actors were forced to deliver. I've heard more natural and profound conversations in a middle school drama class. It's as if the script was written by someone who had never interacted with another human being and instead relied on a random word generator to create the dialogue.
The acting is a disaster of epic proportions. I've seen more convincing performances in school plays performed by first-graders. The cast, including some usually talented actors, delivers their lines with all the emotion of a potato. Their expressions range from constipated to mildly perplexed, never once conveying any real human emotions.
As for the so-called "mind-bending" elements of the movie, they are nothing more than a desperate attempt to salvage an already sinking ship. The twists are predictable, the revelations are uninspired, and the attempts at creating suspense are laughable. It's like watching a magician perform a trick you've seen a thousand times before, but executed with all the finesse of a drunken elephant trying to do ballet.
In conclusion, Hypnotic is not just a bad movie; it's a painful reminder of the time and money you can never get back. Avoid it like the plague unless you enjoy subjecting yourself to mindless drivel that makes you question the very fabric of reality.
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Rodriguez should not direct another Alita again!
Rodriguez's diversity often translates into inconsistency. His track record includes both hits and misses, raising doubts about his ability to maintain a consistent tone and quality throughout a major franchise like Alita. The sequel demands a director with a proven track record of consistent excellence, something Rodriguez does not entirely embody.
Rodriguez's independent approach to filmmaking could clash with the creative direction set by James Cameron, who is deeply invested in the Alita universe. Conflicting visions between the producer and director could lead to a disjointed and unsatisfactory sequel, leaving fans disappointed with the direction the story takes.
Rodriguez often inserting personal quirks and preferences into his projects. In the context of Alita, this could lead to a departure from the source material, alienating fans who expect a faithful adaptation. A director too attached to his own idiosyncrasies might compromise the essence of the Alita universe.
He has limited experience in handling CGI-intensive projects on the scale of Alita. The seamless integration of visual effects is paramount in maintaining the film's immersive quality. Rodriguez's capability to handle such complex technical aspects remains a question mark.
Given Rodriguez's inclination towards fast-paced, low-budget filmmaking, there's a risk that he might rush the production of the sequel. A hurried production schedule could result in a film that feels incomplete or lacks the polish needed to match the grandeur of its predecessor.
These concerns highlight the potential risks associated with him directing "Alita: Battle Angel Part 2." To ensure the sequel lives up to the expectations set by the first film and the beloved source material, a director with a more consistent track record and a deep understanding of the intricate Alita universe might be a safer choice.
The Whale (2022)
Absolute garbage...
It was very hard not to laugh during several scenes!
Branden Fraser is simply bad. It's probably the worst dramatic film of the year.
Fraser portrays the role to garbage. You feel sorrow for his character. The lady that plays his daughter he is trying to reconnect with is going to be a bad actress.
There is nothing likable about this film. Fraser tugs at your headache with the struggles his character goes through.
It's almost hard to watch at certain points in film; So bad! I had to take several breaks it's very boring.
Fraser is a very weak guy in real life I have met him twice a decade apart and he was the same stupid guy.
I hope this film does very bad.
Garbage actor & film.
The Gray Man (2022)
Lame, Stupid and deeply hollow movie.
I really got a bad headache after watching this boring and lame movie. Gosling is a sad actor and he is good for depressing movies. Directing is so weak and specially action sequences are really bad performed and edited. God damn you Netflix!
The Predator (2018)
Shane black is a moron filmmaker. Shame on you.
What is this garbage? Why are you dared to make Predator movie? You should make short movies for kids at best condition. You tried to ruin Predator character but Predator fans destroyed you forever. Now you can stay at home and enjoy watching tv shows "Shame Black"!