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pillowspam
Reviews
Kingpin (1996)
highly funny film.
This movie has long been one of my favorite comedies. We follow the story of a down and out con man who befriends an amish bowler and the hilarity ensues. Despite the fact this movie has many predictable jokes, its never fails to make me laugh. No matter how many times i see it, i can't help but laugh and randy quaid's naive amish person, and my personal favorite Bill (Big Ern) McCracken. He really steals the show as the unbelievable A-hole. Needless to say, Kinpin is a funny comedy that may be crude but succeeds on many levels. If you check most of my other posts, you'll probably see that i'm much more likely to rip a film, but i can't find a single bad thing to say about this movie.
Bloodsport: The Dark Kumite (1999)
where will it all end..
the plot sucked..... it was so simple and rediculous, that who ever wrote it must have stolen it from 3rd grader... i've seen better acting a k-mart commercial.. the fighting scenes were ok....and i stress the word OK because you could easily tell that no contact was made on any kick or punch... i can't believe anyone could have gotten funding for this film. its watching garbage like this that makes me believe i could take a dump, slap the words bloodsport 5 on in and get a budget for another sequel starring Daniel Bernhardt with yet another name and stefanos blah blah whatever as Stavros for the 1000th time.... If you decide to watch this piece of trash, i feel sorry for you, please don't waste 90 minutes of your life like i did.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)
might as well have called it sam rockwells assss!
in all seriousness, I thought this was a very good movie. For his directorial debut Clooney came up with a well done movie with some clever camera shots. I though all the actors gave good performances, especially Rockwell who nailed Barris's character cold. All in all it was a fun story that i would watch again.
Kazaam (1996)
Shaq is God!
Just kidding! I think someone with downsyndrome could act better than shaq. The movie is horrid. Shaq is a genie who grants this little boy some wishes. Sounds like oscar material. I sure hope anyone who watches this poor excuse for a movie has a vomit bag nearby cause your gonna need it.
Analyze This (1999)
so sad to see Bobby D in such a god awful movie
after seeing this poor excuse of a movie I wished I could turn back time so I didn't have to see Bobby D belittle his considerable acting talents on such a horrible movie. I understand that the directors were trying to spoof the traditional mafia characters that have been portrayed in numerous movies but they didn't do a very good job of it. you know what I hated this movie so much I don't think i'm going to waste any more of my time writing about it. Bottom line!!!! it stinks.!!!!!
Solaris (2002)
Dull and lack luster
Solaris is an introspective movie that seeks to get the audience to ponder many of lives big questions. Questions like what do we really know in the grand scheme of things or how do the choices we make affect us etc. It does this with many metaphorical phrases and flashbacks. While it may succeed in getting one to self reflect, it certainly fails to entertain. I feel that one of the benchmarks of a good film is to keep the viewer entertained; which can be done a number of different ways. However, solaris failed to keep my attention(at one point i found myself falling asleep, and when i woke up I looked over and saw my whole family sleeping!. My whole point is that solaris is an interesting story that was told in a very uninteresting way. I would recommend that anyone who wants to watch it wait until it comes out on video.
Blade II (2002)
a comic book turned terribly wrong
First off i want to say that i was a pretty big fan of the first blade movie. this movie is completely different story all together. This whole movie seems like an attempt to bring the blade character back to its comic book roots. The main character blade teams up with vampires to stop a bigger evil. OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH. wow!!!!!!! theres a unique and interesting idea(insert sarcasm here) the action scenes are boring and comic bookish and the acting comes from paper characters. in all honesty most of these character couldn't act their way into a McDonalds commercial. although the main female vampire chick is quite hot and looks like she could suck the chrome off a trailor hitch. This movie has cool looking bad guys but horrible acting and plot. At least the first one tried to develop character and emotion to it. Blade 2 only seeks to gain recognition from the first and is nowhere as good. I would recommend waiting until this one goes out on HBO or something before sitting through it because it isn't worth a penny of your money!
Cyborg (1989)
This movie always gets me pumped up!
I first saw this movie when i was young and impressionable, but even to this day i still get pumped up after watching it. Granted the story line is full of holes and the dialogue kinda sucks, but when your watching a Van Damme movie who cares. I've been a big Van Damme fan for quite some time. Sure! he's a pitiful actor who should have his lines cut down to almost nothing, but he sure as hell can sell a fight scene. This movie is no exception. He won't win any academy awards with his performance but he does sell the i'm super p***ed and your gonna die look pretty well. That being the major reason why i enjoy the film. So if your looking for some solid fight scenes without a hole lot of plot, i highly recommend the movie. This movie is definitely under appreciated judging from the rating scale, all i ask is that some of these people relax a little and just enjoy a movie that doesn't have a plot line thats more complicated than a physics equation.
Vanilla Sky (2001)
an innovative and refreshingly new idea for a film
as an avid movie watcher, i've probably seen just about every plot summary known to man kind. From the traditional hero gets bad guy to the psycho killer melodrama genre, i've probably seen it all. After watching vanilla sky I would have to say it was one of the most original story lines i've ever seen. Without giving anything away, i would have to say this was one of Tom C's best and most compelling performances. For the first time he delves into a more versitile role than the american pop culture icon type roles he is widely known for. in fact i would say that each cast member holds their own in tying the story together. despite all these good characteristics i would also like to say that the movie does tend to eek along rather slowly into its climax. But as a wiser man than myself once said, "anything thats good is worth waiting for" and this movie is no exception. I would strongly recommend it to anyone who enjoys ensightful movies with good plots. All in all a complete winner. 8 out of 10
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
pitiful, is all that needs to be said about this film
After watching this movie in the theater i was filled with an overwhelming sense of sorrow. Why, you say? Because i couldn't believe i waisted my money and time watching it. This was one of the most terrible movies i've seen in quite some time. From its slow plot and stupid action scenes, to its quizical choice of characters this movie falters on all levels. After all who in their right mind would pick Antonio Scarpatchi from wings to be one of the main characters in an action/horror film. Bottom line, if you don't want to waste an hour plus of your life you'll stay as far away from this movie as you can. 2 out of 10