Change Your Image
Christian-Loescher
Reviews
The Collector (2009)
A Poor Man's Saw, but Worse...
Name-dropping is an extremely common tactic in cinema, and much to the chagrin of movie fans who would just as soon save twenty bucks, it usually works. I suppose it would be difficult to not name-drop in some regard; how else, with the multitudes of movies many every year, would a film with no extremely well-known actors and actresses get any publicity at all? The pushers of The Collector therefore chose to highlight two individuals involved with Saw IV, V, and VI fame, no doubt hoping that Saw franchise followers, of which there are throngs, would see The Collector and make it an overnight hit. And me? Of fulfilling the name-dropping purpose, I am 100% guilty, but unfortunately, would just as soon have saved twenty bucks.
The opening of the film appears promising: a man and a woman return home to find their power off, and discover a strange box in their bedroom that moves menacingly. The ending of that scene, coupled with the imagery accompanying the electronic/industrial opening soundtrack, does in fact remind of Saw, but that's where the good similarities end.
The Collector's central actor Josh Stewart, who looks as if he could be Sean Penn's younger brother, plays Arkin, a longtime handyman for a rich family. Arkin's ex-wife has apparently accrued a sum of debt with loan sharks, and is relying upon Arkin to get her enough money to appease them. Arkin, utilizing his ties with associates he met while in prison, enters an agreement with said associates whereby he will rob his employer in order to get money by midnight of the day in question. As it turns out, his employer, played by Michael Reilly Burke (of the titular role in indie flick Ted Bundy), is a jewel broker, and has a safe hidden in his bedroom that contains a very large gem. We also get glimpses into the lives of Burke's screen wife and two daughters, one a teen, and one much younger. So far, so good - a story not that much out of the ordinary, and an intriguing movie intro that implies Arkin will run into similar happenstance.
This is the point at which the movie's plot starts to unravel. After determining that the family would be gone on vacation, Arkin enters the home to burglarize it. Right away he is met with danger, as he hears another person enter. During Arkin's evasion of this other figure, he finds that not only is the family still at home, but they are being held and tortured, and the house is filled with traps (razor wire, acid, knives, and the like). Arkin chooses not to rob the family, but instead, attempts to save their lives from this malevolent invader. Okay, I'll buy it, but the rest had better be good.
Unfortunately, clichéd scenes follow, especially akin to the Saw franchise and Hostel. Blood? Check. Gore? Check. Nudity? Check. But the main problem? None of the scenes are as inventive, scary, or gruesome as the aforementioned, a fact which would be redeemable with a thrilling story. Throughout the course of the film from the above point on, I was entertained, but only just enough to not be bored. And when The Collector came to a close, I couldn't help but think: that's it? Simply put, save your twenty bucks and your next hour-and-a-half. The Collector, though an interesting idea, fails to match its own ambition, and should only be seen by those desperate for gore before the next Saw entry.
Terminator Salvation (2009)
Disappointment for the Longtime Fan...
In the future, John Connor leads the human resistance against Skynet, a worldwide force of sentient machines hell-bent on destroying mankind, whom are viewed as mortal enemies. In The Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the title role, as a cyborg who has been sent back in time to kill John's mother Sarah Connor; it is believed that eliminating Sarah would prevent John from being born and allow the machines to "win." A man named Kyle Reese is also sent back, by the humans, to protect Sarah; he succeeds, hence Skynet's attempt fails, and we find out that Kyle ends up being the father of the unborn John Connor. Terminator 2: Judgement Day focuses on another killing machine, the T-1000, as it is sent back in time to kill John himself as a child, to fulfill the same purpose. Yet again, the machines are met with failure.
Way back when I saw Terminator 2 for the first time, I remember thinking that the storyline was one of the coolest in any of the movies I had seen. That was over 12 years ago, when I hadn't seen many movies to begin with. Even today, T2 stands as one of the best ever; the action, acting, music, and even special effects stand the test of time and still blow me away every instance I watch. The Terminator, which I saw very soon after, filled in all the gaps and then some to a franchise that haunts me to this day. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines seems to be widely regarded as a critical failure and misstep in the series, a mockery of everything T1 had foretold and T2 had knocked out of the park: the antics of an aged Arnold Schwarzenegger, a "Terminatrix," and a seemingly bad choice of actor for John Connor's character. I couldn't disagree more; Arnie once again rocked, Nick Stahl pulled off a wonderfully believable John Connor, and the twist ending in my mind made for a more than worthy addition to one of my all-time favorite movie series. And then there was the sadly now-defunct Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles TV series, also berated by many fans. I thought it was genius in every regard.
Fast forward to 2009, where director McG has unleashed Terminator Salvation upon the world. I had been looking forward to this film for many months, not only because it's another Terminator movie, but because McG had a trump card: Christian Bale of recent Batman fame as survivalist John Connor. I was absolutely certain that both of these beloved factors combined would make for yet another masterpiece that would be treasured in the Terminator collection. And days after I've seen it, I'm still not ready to determine whether or not it belongs there.
The Terminator series, in my mind, were always more than just action movies. They were foreboding, horrifying windows into the potential dangers of technology and nuclear war. The state of the planet after Judgement Day, the machine-initiated nuclear attack, as illustrated by James Cameron in T1 and T2, was dark, menacing, bleak, and felt frightfully real. Terminator Salvation changes that, not necessarily on purpose, but because the film feels like a repackaging of the first two, wrapped in the pretty red bow of current action movie pap all too common in today's world of short attention spans. Salvation focuses on two main things: John Connor trying to find and save the life of Kyle Reese (who turns out to be his father), and on a man named Marcus who wants revenge on the machines for very different reasons.
Fortunately, Salvation does do one thing very well: keep the viewer on the edge of their seat with tons of action sequences and great special effects. Those expecting another deep, existential, philosophical twist relating to the Terminator mythology however, will be disappointed. This is really the paradoxical thing about Terminator Salvation: I honestly did enjoy the movie. But I can't seem to lump it with the other Terminator movies. Maybe it's Christian Bale, whom I worship; he just plain and simple is not a good John Connor. He acts his tail off, but I can't help but feel that he was brought on board for "star power." Maybe it's McG's illustration of the state of the planet; post-Judgement Day is that of a desert wasteland, akin to the most recent movie outages of Resident Evil and Final Fantasy instead of the perpetual blackness and skull-ridden world of James Cameron. Maybe it's the lack of emotive or relatable music short of the five-beat drum pattern synonymous with the Terminator series. The whole thing feels, well, like someone did a Terminator movie just to do a Terminator movie.
Those willing to overlook these nuances, though, are in for a treat. Ripe with action, Salvation rarely lets the action movie reigns loose. Vehicle chases, gun battles, and Terminator versus human hand-to-hand all brings the action part of the movie full circle. Every turn is met with another shootout, another violent combat sequence, or another explosion. The introduction of Marcus's character is a good one, too, adding somewhat of a branch to Connor's ongoing focus, and towards the end of the movie, secrets are revealed relating to Marcus's character that I found quite interesting. In a risky move, Bale's Connor is a full-fledged military leader, both giving orders and taking them, and participates in several action scenes, including the long, final one that also includes a surprise cameo.
As a stand-alone action movie, Terminator Salvation is quite good, but will let down the longtime franchise fan. You'll be entertained, as long as you don't want to leave thinking about where the series will go next. As for me, I'd just as soon watch another season of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, ponder the events surrounding Judgement Day, and out of the corner of my eye see Terminator Salvation sticking out of my DVD collection waiting for a rainy day.
The Hangover (2009)
The Opposite of a Headache
The Hangover is a compelling anomaly of a comedy, one that easily could have been just another movie where a group of thirtysomething dudes get drunk and into all sorts of trouble. The method in which its story is told, however, sets it apart from its comedic kin and makes it all the more hilarious and brilliant.
A small group of friends, pretty boy Phil (Bradley Cooper), lady-whipped Stu (The Office's "Andy," Ed Helms), socially inept Alan (awesome newcomer Zach Galifianakis), and groom-to-be Doug (Justin Bartha), decide to go to Las Vegas for a final free-roaming, binge-drinking evening away from their normal lives, two days before Doug's nuptials are set to take place. Predictably, the drinking begins early upon their arrival, and not surprisingly, the antics begin. The best departure about The Hangover, however, is the intelligent structure of the story from there on out. The bachelors awake the next morning to discover that not only do they not remember a single thing from the night before, but also that their man of the hour, Doug, is missing and nowhere to be found. It turns out that, for reasons the film so elegantly reveals, that the men had been drugged. Their hotel room is in shambles, a baby is found in the closet, and a tiger has set up shop in the bathroom. The three friends are in similarly puzzling positions: Phil finds a hospital bracelet around his wrist, Stu is missing a front tooth, and Alan yet again finds it difficult to locate a pair of pants.
From that point, as the viewer, you're taken on a journey throughout Vegas with the film's three main antagonists, to determine what happened to them and their ride home, Doug. You find out just as much as the three friends do, and at the exact same time, about their night out, which drives up the anticipation of whatever following humorous event the friends discover. The interaction and comedic chemistry between Phil, Stu, and Alan is amazing; the casting couldn't have been done any better. The Hangover also contains cameo appearances from several unexpected characters, including Mike Tyson and several actors who starred in 2003's Old School (one of director Todd Phillips's fantastic previous works). The dialogue and language is crude and offensive, yet appropriate and rip-roaringly funny, and there's even bits of karmic plot points that round out the movie as an extremely well-accomplished work of raucous, constant humor.
Up until this point, Old School only had a small handful of competitive equals, but The Hangover is so confidently funny that it eclipses many of said competitors with ease. Even if somehow you don't begin to enjoy the movie from its opening moments, you'll be unable to stop being washed into the swirling miasma of curiosity and humor that The Hangover possesses. Chock-full of one-liners and hilarious moments, The Hangover is a treat, and unlike hangovers we've all had, will be one you'll be more than pleased to undertake a second time.
I Love You, Man (2009)
Men Need Love Too...
Paul Rudd, alum of several Judd Apatow movies such as Knocked Up and The 40 Year Old Virgin, stars as Peter Klaven who, mere weeks away from his wedding to Zooey (Rashida Jones of "The Office" fame), realizes that he has no male friends. This isn't due to social ineptitude, however; Peter gets along well with both sexes but primarily his sensitivity is attuned to friendships with women. In order to seek out a best man aside from his gay brother (SNL's Andy Samberg) or father, Peter goes on several "man dates" in order to deepen his pool of males with whom to bond. One man in particular, Forgetting Sarah Marshall's Jason Segel, appropriately fits the bill, and the two men embark on a friendship that forms the core of this movie.
I Love You, Man explores an interesting facet of male relationships, an area often twisted in other movies into homosexual innuendo. Fortunately, though, the story of I Love You, Man doesn't take this path, instead choosing to enlighten the viewer through crude humor, slapstick comedy, and witty discussion. Though not written by Apatow, those who saw his aforementioned movies will undoubtedly enjoy what this movie brings to the table. Rudd and Segel are a great comedy team; it's nice to see Rudd especially break out on his own. There are several points throughout the movie where the "man dates" closely resemble heterosexual dates, and Rudd shows his acting skill at making the situation uncomfortable for both his character and the viewers.
All in all, I Love You, Man is a solid comedy, closely following Knocked Up as a movie that can be enjoyed both by men who enjoy off-color humor, as well as women who will appreciate the emotional back-and-forth between the characters involved. Recommended.
Brüno (2009)
You'll Laugh Your Auschwitz Off!
It's an odd thing to laugh so much that you actually have short-term side effects. It's happened to me in several movie theaters, including when I watched Dumb and Dumber, both Jackass flicks, and of course the now-legendary Borat. But now I have one more movie to add to that list: Sacha Baron Cohen's most over-the-top comedy yet, Bruno. Most moviegoers will ask how Bruno compares to Borat. Is it better? Is it funnier? Will I feel like vomiting and laughing at the same time, as during at least one part in particular in Borat? While the first two questions are difficult to answer, to the third I can only say: a resounding "yes." Comparing Bruno to Borat is like the over-clichéd comparison of apples to oranges; they are similar films only in that both Cohen plays the title role and goes out of his way to make audiences laugh so hard that it actually hurts. He perfects this art in Bruno, a movie that has so many shock moments, instances of sexual depravity and nudity, and homosexual sequences that its R rating can easily be called into question. However, Cohen makes these situations so hilariously overdone that even those adverse to watching movies like this can't help but at least chuckle at how much the envelope is pushed in the film's short 83 minutes. Bruno contains all the snippets that made Borat an instant classic, with one exception: an emotive and empathetic storyline. Whereas with Borat I at times could almost feel sorry for the struggling Kazakh reporter, in Bruno I found myself wanting the Austrian fashionista to get into situations that no other characters would dare tread.
Bruno's plot, in short, portrays titular character Bruno (possibly the most flamboyantly homosexual character ever created), who early on in the movie is fired from his fashion reporting job. The entire focus of the movie from that point on is following Bruno's attempted ascendance to celebrity status. He creates a TV pilot containing more visual references to male nudity than most pornographic films. He adopts an African baby. He joins the military. He's taught how to disarm someone who chooses to fight with a sex toy instead of more contemporary weapons. He joins a swingers' group. He creates situations of total embarrassment, carelessly launches himself into them, and comes out the shining star in absolutely all of them. The most rewarding part of the movie is when his ultimate plan to become famous, by converting to heterosexuality, comes into play. And if you thought the finale to Borat was hilarious, just you wait.
I can't stress enough how many boundaries this breaks in the shock-comedy category. All the hype surrounding the movie is completely warranted, and there's no telling where Cohen's craft can possibly go from here. Bruno may not be as timeless as Borat, but is a classic in its own right, a film that will gross out even the most stalwart of viewers, but reward them with more laughs than should be allowable by the human body.
Powder Blue (2009)
Great Character Study, But Ultimately Doomed for Labeling
Sometimes people want to see a movie for what some would call "the wrong reason." Powder Blue is a prime example of this: it was well-hyped before its straight-to-DVD release to be the first movie wherein the beautiful Jessica Biel has several nude scenes. And I will admit, I fell victim to buying and watching this for said wrong reason, however, was not disappointed behind my initial intent in addition to the rest of how the movie played out.
Powder Blue, written and directed by Timothy Linh Bui, focuses on the downward-spiraling lives of four main characters, played by Forest Whitaker, Jessica Biel, Ray Liotta, and relative newcomer Eddie Redmayne. The inimitable Whitaker's character, Charlie, desires someone to murder him, so that through his cast-aside faith in Catholicism he would not necessarily be committing suicide and therefore a mortal sin. Charlie's search for a murder-for-hire brings him to mortician Qwerty Doolittle, played by Redmayne. Qwerty, in addition to being involved slightly with Charlie's emotive plot line, also becomes more deeply involved with Biel's character, the interestingly-named Rose-Johnny, a stripper attempting to maintain her chaotic life whilst paying medical bills for her hospital-committed and comatose son. Lastly, Liotta's soft-spoken Jack befriends Rose-Johnny, and in doing so sets the stage for a Magnolia-esquire plot-switching film that is quite compelling and interesting to follow.
The acting is quite well-done, not surprisingly in particular by Whitaker and Liotta (though Biel does shine as well), and Patrick Swayze and Lisa Kudrow provide smaller supporting roles. In spite of the well-written story and good performances, however, the full package is not quite engaging enough to allow the viewer to pity the characters; instead, paying attention to Powder Blue allows a viewing into the lives of four people, trying to save theirs by getting involved with others'. To be sure, an enthralling, yet slightly overused theme in cinema, such material needs to be cohesive and fulfilling to succeed, and where it is obvious Linh Bui intends to tell a story of huge grandeur and emotional impact, Powder Blue falls a bit short. Special mention, however, goes to the film's score and soundtrack, the latter of which contains several very catchy trip-hop, jazzy numbers used during Biel's club sequences.
In all, Powder Blue is a sufficient dark drama that suffices to keep the viewer entertained for its duration, but unfortunately, certain viewers who may not be as impressed by intertwining story lines and good character acting may always label Powder Blue as the "Biel naked movie." For those of us who enjoy related movies, however, said label is a fantastic fringe benefit, to a film that is impressive yet sometimes forgettable in some other respects.
Watchmen (2009)
A New Kind of Superhero Movie
I must admit, I really wasn't expecting this. I had anticipated seeing yet another "superhero movie" and being visually entertained for a couple hours, but this adaptation of the allegedly legendary graphic novel Watchmen far exceeded my initial expectations. David Hayter, who last wrote the first two X-Men movies, really outdid himself in writing this epic 160-minute film.
Set in the 1980s, Watchmen focuses on a handful of superheroes whose servitude to the world neither seems wanted nor necessary, with the exception of the enigmatic and omnipotent Dr. Manhattan. When one of the Watchmen is murdered at the beginning of the movie, it sets the stage for a jam-packed tale centered around questions of revenge and the human condition. Unlike other superhero movies I've seen in the past, not only do you have dazzling special effects and a multitude of action sequences, but the accompaniment of blood, gore, nudity, sex, and swearing. This, coupled with the dark imagery pervading the film, does a fantastic job of making the movie an adult feature, rather than a just torrent of guys and girls in tights kicking each others' butts. Heavily emotive and extremely interesting flashbacks show the history behind the characters if you, like me, am not aware of the details behind the graphic novel (which I believe gave me a distinct advantage).
The plot gives the feeling of a true crime type of movie, which further allows one to view the story as more of a tragedy than a simple action movie. The acting is particularly well done, and I was pleasantly surprised to see Jackie Earle Haley as one of the main characters (his last performance that I saw in Little Children made this role even more unexpected). The aforementioned special effects, though fantastic, don't overshadow the movie itself, and the mysterious orchestral score adds suspense and trepidation. To further the impression of a dark drama set in the past, the score is peppered with songs from Bob Dylan, Simon & Garfunkel, Jimi Hendrix, and others. Though the movie was nearly three hours long, I was never bored and yet was consciously aware of its length.
All in all, I hope (and believe) that Watchmen will open the door for more mature and adult-themed superhero films with R ratings, and being the first one of its kind, does a darn good job of setting the bar for those of its kind yet to come. If you're looking for superhero action mixed with Dark Knight-styled imagery and lots of extras, you simply can't get any better than this.