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rpatrickvelez
Reviews
Billions (2016)
Poorly executed dialogue
I've watched multiple episodes over the first few seasons... The production values are solid, the casting is solid (Giamatti is a fine actor, I'm not a fan of Lewis but he's fine in his role), the story is interesting... Much of the show is intriguing...
However the dialogue (rhythm and diction) is atrocious. As you watch a scene, any scene really---whether it's a farmer or his wife or a psychiatrist or a hedge fund billionaire - - - they speak in ways no one actually speaks! The lines are thick and articulate and delivered as if a teenager were reading the definition example out of the dictionary! Absolutely breaking the viewer out of the scene. One person will deliver their line, then the camera moves to the other person dramatic pause, then they deliver their lines, then the camera swings back, dramatic pause, then the response is delivered. It's maddening.
After 4 episodes, I can't watch; when someone is watching in another room, I can tell the show by the oddly paced dialogue patterns. The diction as well as the delivery are simply disengaging.
I couldn't get past it, but maybe you can.
The Venture Bros.: Radiant Is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (2023)
Go Team Venture!
The last hurrah of arguably the greatest animated Achievement of the last 25 years. The show, one of my favorites, was canceled in 2020-- but WB Discovery allowed for a last goodbye - - a final movie made from ideas discussed for the never produced season 8.
The production is top notch-- the animation is modern and fluid. Unlike some animated features, this is clearly a feature film and not a 30 min ad for toys. The cast is stellar save for one late addition - - but I'll address that shortly. All the Series regulars are voiced by the correct actors-- including J. K. Simmons and Clancy Brown (always a treat).
As much as I adore the show, the plot isn't perfect... Long term fans will immediately think back to previous episodes and compare details. I've visited the Reddit mega threads and I know so many different theories abound. New viewers may not understand but will find the origins of the Venture Bros as well as Debbie and Bobbi St Simone a bit convoluted.
In fact the addition of the St Simone family brings the real criticism of the film. The new characters seem like additions dictated by some corporate suit.. How often have we seen tv series turned into movies that "must be bigger" for release? The character of Debbie /Debra absolutely kills the momentum of the film. When she appears, you wonder what the other characters are doing - - and her inclusion really seems to be a plot device. Which makes the job especially difficult for the actress who plays one of 2 new characters - - and all the other characters are absolutely beloved. There's no tension - - she's the equivalent of a Star Trek red shirt.
Without spoiling any details - - she could be omitted in favor of the super villain war hinted at in Season 7-- and everything else would be firmly in place.
I love the show and was pleased to get one last chance to say good bye. Is the movie perfect?? No, far from it; yet it is the farewell we fans have been given-- Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick have given years of enjoyment in this franchise and I am personally grateful.
The Thing (1982)
Carpenter's Greatest Achievement
Upon a recent rewatch--I'm reminded why this movie is one of the Sci fi/ horror greats. I've probably seen this movie 20 times or more over the last decade and it never fails to deliver. When a research team stationed in the Antarctic is attacked by a neighboring research facility - - they are forced to confront an alien that could be hiding in plain sight.
The viewer is left with an enjoyable ride as the paranoia in the team hits a fever pitch-- who is the alien? As well as who is the next victim? The isolated setting, the cold visuals of the Antarctic only serve to strengthen the fear. The soundtrack is minimal but visceral enough to highlight the tension. The SFX are top notch as practical models were the order of the day... Having watched a recent film, I am still impressed with the hard reality of the models.... The viscera is all too real.
The story is based on the old "The Thing From Outer Space;" however, it shares more with Lovecraft than it's 1950s camp horror. The feelings of dread and the fear of the unknown drive the film--it is still a joy to watch almost 30 years later.
I cannot recommend this movie enough.
Smiling Friends (2020)
Doesn't match the hype
I gave it a shot because it's a Reddit darling. It's an interesting premise - - but it's not really funny. The show follows a company that works to make depressed folks smile; the workers are sent to make folks smile and hilarity ensues. The show follows a duo of Pim and Charlie; Pim is very enthusiastic and positive (and reminds me of Rhys Darby's role in Venture Brothers) while Charlie is not as engaged.
I watched through episode 4-- they were just okay... But the situations didn't really lend themselves to comedy. I suspect this was sold as an absurdist comedy - - think ATHF or Check it out ; both of those shows are far superior.
The whole thing seems very juvenile - - think Regular Show with a few guns, a man eating frog, and a murderous mob thrown It to make not suitable for Cartoon Network.
On the plus side, episode 3 featured the actress who played "Diana" in the Original 1980s "V" series!
Overall, it's background noise... If you want a laugh, probably want to check elsewhere.
Crimewave (1985)
Zany Fun!
Perhaps I'm a bad reviewer of cinema -- but I do know what I find entertaining.
"Crimewave" is a zany comedy of cartoonist proportions. An early film of Sam Raimi , many of his now trademark film qualities are evident in early stages. The trademark camera angles, zoom ins, dialogue delivery, etc are all here. It's as if a 1940s crime caper and Popeye cartoons had kids and those kids were given way too much sugar and caffeine before bed.
The jokes are goofy, the scenarios are goofy, and the overall plot is convoluted told through a series of flashback story devices... But it's wildly amusing as a result of all this. From what I can tell, every bad review is correct just as every glowing review is...
Bruce Campbell steals every scene with over the top line delivery truly Renaldo "The Heel" is a Classic Bruce Campbell character... Think the sleezier aspects of Ash Williams. The exterminators in the film are fantastic -think a pastiche of Popeye's Bluto working with the living personification of a Rat (I know how that sounds btw)... The biggest problem with this movie is the relatively boring lead couple. You find yourself wondering what's going on with the nutty Exterminators or Renaldo whenever the lead couple are on screen.
Post production added some zany sound effects that you either love or hate (ex. Renaldo winks and you hear a gunshot ricochet). Apparently the Faron Crush character had all his lines over dubbed and it's hilariously bad as a result .
The presented film isn't great and needs some editing (Ballroom dancing scene goes on too long) ; which makes me wonder what the original version was like . That being said it's a bad film that somehow ends up being entertaining as a result. Is this the classic example of a movie so bad it's good? Perhaps, but you'll never know unless you watch it.
The I-Land (2019)
The worst show I've ever watched
Star wars Christmas special bad. Ishtar bad. Troll 2 bad.
Seriously -- not an exaggeration. Poor acting. Poor writing. Poor direction.
Idiotic script regarding ridiculously good looking criminals trapped in a virtual world full of nonsense.
Character motivations and dialogue make zero sense. The plot feels thrown together by a room of interns-- new characters appear at random breaking the established rules in episode 1.
You're going to feel like you're trapped if you try and watch this thing. It is frustratingly bad .
Is there a positive? Sure-- the cast is generally good looking. The island is beautiful. Not much else.
Eye candy best watched on mute or background noise while you do something else.
Violent Night (2022)
Grossly over rated
An extremely slow starting movie-- the first action occurs approximately 30 minutes into the film... But you have to sit through a cast of ridiculously unlikeable stereotypes chew scenery as if it's their last role ... (Which it could be after this).
Harbour is likeable as always but that doesn't carry a film (remember Hellboy?). Santa isn't a traditional Santa, but a drunk magical being with undetermined abilities. He's strong enough to crack walnuts with his fingers but can't knock out a goon hitting them with a sock of billiard balls. For an extremely long lived character (at this point I don't know if he's immortal) I don't feel any risk or tension he CAN be hurt. Where's the conflict?
Beverly D'Angelo is unrecognizable -- I had to look up the role on IMDB.
Leguizamo is earning a paycheck and has zero menace.
The problem with this film? Santa has super plot armor -- we know he will survive... So scenes of him sewing wounds shut means nothing. He won't die. There's zero threat when he fights someone.
The whole plot reminds me of an Archer episode --without the charm or sex appeal. Die Hard, which is referenced several times is a much better watch. Don't waste your time on this...53 minutes in and I've wasted enough time.
Man of Steel (2013)
A great film-- Cavill deserves a sequel
I recently rewatched the film after reading of Cavill being dropped from the upcoming WB reboot; I forgot how strong a film "Man of Steel" is... In many areas it is simply amazing.
The Hans Zimmer (w Junkie XL) score is a perfect match for the drama and the suspense at multiple points... Especially in the 3rd act , the music truly drives the emotion and ties you into what amazing things you see before you.
The cinematography is first rate-- from wide shots that quickly establish the scope of scene (the northern pole for example) to tight shots showing the raw emotion of the characters. It really is a beautiful movie... Some would say the images are too cool, too blue-- but I disagree. There are moments where the characters are in the sun shining -- those purposefully contrast the darkness of some scenes .
The cast is stellar-- Costner, Lane, Fishburne, Miloni are fantastic in their roles. Antje True is a scene stealer! Cavill is a believable Superman and truly a hero on screen.... Mid way though the picture, I found myself not watching an actor in costume but watching Superman-- that's high praise from someone who grew up w the Reeves films. Oddly Any Adams seems out of place in the role of Lois Lane.... She is an amazing actress, but she just seems off in her delivery. Perhaps it's the lines she's given.
In any case, it's a great movie-- it's most glaring flaw?? It was one movie that set up as the first in a never completed trilogy. The sequel became a launch pad for the now abandoned DCEU and we never get to see the Cavill Superman in full glory. The film ends with hope and sunlight of a coming film-- but the story is never completed.
If you haven't seen this film or it's been a bit... Give it a watch...
Green Lantern: Beware My Power (2022)
The Green Lantern Corp deserve better ...
I had to stop 14 minutes into the viewing.
Once John Stewart was able to walk into the Watchtower, not trigger any alarms, AND the JL members present don't immediately recognize him as a GL (despite him using GL attacks and wearing a uniform) I decided to read the reviews here.
I watched a bit more and the story just isn't great... It's a mix of better ideas and what is presented here isn't well executed.
If you're a DC comics fan, Stewart's characterization is a little off but it's minute. You miss the architect logic--instead it's substituted by PTSD .
The character designs are neat (especially Green Arrow and Hawkgirl) aside from a few odd choices (Hal Jordan looks too young IMHO & Martian Manhunter seems to have a power donut!).
The animation style is different but eye catching too.
Ultimately stream it for free, but do not expect too much. It's good background noise while you web browse.
Doom Patrol (2019)
Flashes of brilliance, ultimately too inconsistent marred by one fatal flaw
This is my 4th attempt to finish season 1. Originally watching the show on the defunct DC app , I was thrilled at the prospect of this original team of super weirdos and outcasts that predate the X-Men (in fact it's a pretty clear case of the X-Men copying the Doom Patrol in the comics).
The direction is strong , the cameras angles set pieces , and sound are all fantastic! Costumes are generally great (Rita's flashback scenes for example).
The plot follows some of the original comic beats--but I'm not a stickler for continuity or direct adaptation. It's creative for sure and entertaining.
Why haven't I been able to finish the show? Several actors are great -- Dalton, Bomer, Fraser, etc are great...Mark Shepard is excellent as well. The actor playing Cyborg seems poorly cast-- but the is forgiveable since he's seen minimally... However, Diane Guerrero, who is a fine actress is simply over the top annoying. She's playing a difficult role--and she does it so well-- unfortunately the character is so unlikeable that I find it difficult to enjoy the show! She is in 70% of every episode and chews up the scenery! She's as over the top as the villain played by Tudyk.
Honestly if her character was toned down or not featured as the main character on a show about an ensemble super team it would be fantastic.
Ultimately, your enjoyment will come from how much you appreciate a ride, foul mouthed unpredictable character central to every episode.
Shakes the Clown (1991)
Underappreciated comedy
I can only guess this movie came out at the wrong time; the dark comedy of Shakes didn't play well when I saw it years ago on VHS. I've watched it twice in the last couple years and it certainly hits the funny bone.
Without spoilers, it's the tale of a low life clown in a low life world... Down on his luck, he has to rescue his Girlfriend.
The cast is good- Julie Brown is a scene stealer, Adam Sandler stands out (he's far less a buffoon than his own flicks), and Bobcat as the lead is great. Tom Kenney is absolutely nutty and threatening as the villain. (I firmly believe he would play a menacing version of The Joker should another actor ever be needed).
Give the movie a chance-- it's a welcome surprise to be sure.
The Eyes of Orson Welles (2018)
Annoying, flawed narration
This is an incomplete review for a film I just couldn't watch!
The narrator delivers lines as if he were talking to Welles. This isn't exactly what I had hoped for... I don't care about his opinion, I wanted to learn about the vision of Welles.
I simply couldn't watch the film after a few minutes... By the way, there's simply no reason to discuss Obama and Trump and "the rise of despots."
Perhaps there's useful research here, but it's glossed over (Welle's sketches for example.)
The first 10 minutes are very difficult to watch, eventually we're introduced to items of historical interest from Welles' descendant.
I would pass on this one.
Primal Rage (2018)
Beautiful scenery, everything else is a hard pass
Wonderful camera work in a beautiful setting... Truly captures the majesty of the forest.
Everything else is horrid-- poor acting, zero chemistry.... And an antagonist that is a rapey mix of Rambo and bigfoot. Several scenes are lifted directly from Predator.. although thankfully the Predator didn't rape Arnold Schwarzenegger. Mid film an Orc witch appears with little explanation beyond moving the plot forward. Eventually the predictable conclusion arrives and the rapist bigfoot is killed by the film's hero. Oh, did I mention bigfoot rapes the female lead??? Yup, it's that type of film.
This movie is not worth your time...
Three Busy Debras (2020)
Visually appealing yet poorly written
After 2 unsuccessful attempts, I finally finished the first episode. The sets, costumes, make up are all visually appealing.
Unfortunately I didn't care for the writing... I understand the attempt at satire but the jokes fell flat. Apparently saying a line and then making a perky face while staring into the camera is considered "satire." The attempts at comedy just don't hit-- and for an 11 minute episode it felt like 30 minutes. It's possible the show hits stride after a few episodes but I won't be around to watch.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Another bait and switch
When you write a scene where Leia is hidden under Kenobi's trench coat so they can escape... Strolling through a full Imperial garrison and no one notices....
It's so ridiculous it's sad.
If you thought Disney SW couldn't get worse... You were wrong.
The Venture Bros. (2003)
Pop Culture Paradise
This show is arguably the greatest animated TV show ever produced. The brilliance of the writing is amidst the numerous pop culture references -- a grand tale of failure can be found. Initially described as the adventures of an aging super scientist and his dim witted sons-- this is merely the cover of the book!
I encourage everyone to watch this show-- yes, it's funny but it's also sad and sometimes uplifting.... But it's always entertaining. If you recall the old Hanna Barbera shows of the 60s or Marvel comics or DC comics there's something for you. If you grew up on David Bowie, Iggy Pop, or GI Joe there's stuff for you. Hunter S Thompson or Spy flicks? Yup, there's much to devour here. The references fly often and fast...
The production values are high with animation created the old way -- eye catching character design and Jim Steranko esque backdrops initially before evolving to a more stream lined style. Music ranges from the fantastic themes by JG Thirlwell to the occasional track by Pulp or the like. The voice talent is top notch.... The series regulars are shine - James Urbaniak, Patrick Warburton, and the show creaters Jackson Publicly and Doc Hammer are gold in every performance.... I honestly can't think of a poor performance beyond the pilot. Once the show finds it's footing, the voice talent is top notch. (BTW Steve Rattazi and Dana Snyder really shine every scene they're in!)
Is there a negative? Yes, the show was canceled after season 7... Eventually HBO picked up the show for a finale movie that should air. It's a shame that after 15 years the show is ending far too soon.
All the episodes stream in HBO Max.... I encourage everyone to enjoy this treasure while they still can.
The Kids in the Hall (2022)
It's kinda like Buddy's Wish
I was a teen when the original show aired and watched the first episode looking for the goods. I smiled a few times but felt mostly sad. I imagine the show needs to find it's stride; after all it's been a while.
Episode 2 was smarter and better written; although I wouldn't say it was hilarious the way some of the old sketches were...the imaginary friend bit was absurdly entertaining.
The Buddy sketch kinda sums it up-- we wish we could go back and it's the way it used to be-- too bad we don't all get our wish.
Production values are excellent, but some of the old charm is lost in this slicked up version. It's a little jarring to see so many extras used in some scenes.
I am especially glad the guys have the show but I'm not sure if I'll finish the season.
The Batman (2022)
Bloated and overhyped offering
No spoilers
Very long offering in need of serious editing. Too many slow establishing shots then Batman walking slowly. Shots from unique perspective that muddy the effect of the action. Poorly paced with bland dialogue.... This is a fan film with a budget.
Zoe Kravitz and the musical score are the best parts.
A better watch than the Joel Schumacher Batman films.... But not on the level of the other cinematic offerings.
Diabolical (2022)
Virtually pointless
Multiple art styles , different celebrity creators slapped together in The Boys universe.
If you love the show or the comic--episodes 3 & 8 are the only ones to watch. Although none of the episodes seem to be integral to any plot point of live action show, at least these 2 episodes follow the rules established in the Universe.
Heck episode 2 is a poor Rick and Morty episode complete w the asterix pupils and Justin Roiland doing voices .
Overall it's just a reminder of how engaging the live show really is..and you would be more entertained rewatching that as opposed to whatever this is.
Hellblazers (2022)
A Fair movie
Without me giving a full synopsis- expect a fairly routine plot- evil stalks a small town, trapping the survivors in a bar until the final confrontation.
The most interesting plot points were the mid credit & after credit scenes.
The veteran actors had a few key moments and really serve as the hook I know they're why I clicked on the title. Dern is especially entertaining in a key scene with the sheriff. Adrienne Barbeau and Tony Todd have a few scenes ... However Meg Foster feels wasted in approx 1 min of screen time. Billy Zane appeared to give the minimum effort possible, but it's always a pleasure to see him. I suppose he did the best he could with what he was provided and I would have liked to know more about his character.
The rest of the cast is serviceable with a few needing additional practice delivering their lines. The sheriff was my favorite character-and was memorable in a scene carried by Dern.
The effects are fair (keep your eye out for the obvious chicken skin!!!) And when possible used practical vs digital (always a plus when delivered properly). A few scenes linger too long.
For what it is, a movie carried by a free streaming service, it's passable.
I watched why waiting for a repair man to visit my home and it made the time go fairly quickly.
Peacemaker (2022)
Not as entertaining as The Suicide Squad
Although Cena is fine... The dialogue is so unnatural and over the top - forced comedy- that it's not funny. Whereas part of The Suicide Squad's fun was in the absurd, this is goofy for the sake of being goofy. Unfortunately it comes off as juvenile. I.e. Let's have the janitor & the hero bicker over weed! It's so quirky! Showing Cena's bare ass in his hospital gown will make it hilarious! Really it's all very forced.
If super hero themed comedy is what you're after, Prime's The Tick or The Boys does it better.
Cena is fine, he's far more likeable as Peacemaker than his other roles... The side cast is unbearable.
The movie stuffed the same issue- the casting fire clearly hasn't spent any time with professional government agencies because the supporting cast comes off more as the support team t a your local Wal Mart than operating a covert government super hero agent.
I'll be frank, I lasted half way through the first episode before writing the show off. Maybe I'll try again if it lasts a full season.