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Reviews
Cycle (2012)
Such a waste of time
This movie has a few problems.
1. The graphics. It's made fully digitally, and very cheaply too. It can be seen in design, unnatural or mostly repetetive movements (forest run isna good example), face mimic animation, use of masks to avoid animating them, use of assets that look like freebies downloaded from the internet. I can see a massive amount of work put in here, but it hadn't gone well.
2. Camera work. Constant usenof a shaky "disturbing" camera. Why the actual f..k would someone decide to do that? It's horrible and as far as I get that it was meant to be uneasy, worrying, etc. It's only making you want to vomit.
3. Plot. It's basically non existent. Only thenfog, and the sense of entrapment is like taken from UBIK by P. K. Dick, but that is all. Rest is like a scrapbook made by a person with too much glue to sniff, trying to tell to many stories at once, hiping that together they make sense.
4. Clichés. Yes, you can find here few references to well known SF movies, but that scraps cannot make this a good movie.
5. No hope. Not in the story though. From the first few minutes you know that you are wasting your time, and if you stick thru the movie to watch, you will understand how right you was.
One good thing - warp sequence is simply nice to look at.
Black Mirror: Bandersnatch (2018)
Forced entertainment
It started great, and was very engaging up until some ashtray incident (no spoilers here). After that it's an absolute mess of a story, many choices are forced, not by the viewers wish, or they are not an actual choice, but just a twists to show something absolutely not engaging, and just ruining further the narrative and the plot.
At some point, this story is lost, like the screenwriters didn't quite know where to lead the main theme of the bandersnatch, the PACS, and the development story. That fourth wall Netflix redo (still no spoilers) only proves that.
Main theme of the story, built around a game with some weird vibes and intrusions diesnalong the way in painful convulsions.
All the changing choices that you cannot repeat are utterly annoying.
Great idea, big flop.
Prey (2022)
A Predator crossed with Peewee
I'm a huge fan of Predator movies. I think that the creators of this movie probably are a fans too, because you can see how they winked to the fans of Predator 2 at some point. But that's it. They also created a main character (MC), that is as much as annoying, as covered in powerfull plot armor. I'm not taking this lightly. On one hand, MC is a tracker, hunter and herbalist, very smart and perceptive like no one else in her tribe, who knows her surroundings and on the other she can't hit a rabbit, falls into traps, falls into muddy quick sands, makes only bad decisions, it's shown tjat she lacks prowess, strenght and basically brains. Somehow in the midst of the fights, in the heat of the fast moments she catches up on how alien tech works. Even when everyone is much better than her in fighting and wounding Predator, it's her who prevails. That simply sucks.
Predator - 10.
MC - 1.
And minus for letting the weakest link whitstand.
Surviving Paradise (2023)
By far worst tv show I've seen
How bad is it? From the begginig until the stupid end, it's simply as bad as it can be. At first, Love Island rip off, on the secong take, Survivor rip off, together? Nothing good. The pace is zero km per hour, no tensuon, just artificially boosted drama. All the eliminations and pseudo cliffhangers are so reoeatedly boring that it almost hurts. No suspens, no real reality show, let that sink in. In the final, but just before final finals (once you'll get there you'll understand what I mean) finally there has to be a final elimination. And it goes on, on, on, and on. And therebis no real rivalry, no clash of minds or bodies, no power, no might. Nothing. And at the final final there is again, something not worth losing your time to see it.
Go for a walk, cook yourself something, lay on a couch, or fo nothing, but still it will be worth much more than time wasted on this. I'll never get back this hours.
The Witcher: Blood Origin (2022)
Sharknado of generic fantasy cheap shows
First of all- changing the origin of the witchers? How can you steer so far from the books? An most of all- why?! I' m not even mentioning other stuff that were twisted for the sake ofnI don't know what.
If at the start of the watching this, you will force yourself to forget that it is the Witcher Universe you can watch it. But barely. After that act of forgetfulnes you get only a generic cheap show from a cheap and lazy tv channel to watch while eating dinner or vacuuming, that's what it is.
Plot? Simplistic and utterly basic, zero tension, you do not get carried away bybthe actuon, nor by the adventure. You do not believe the actors and characters played by them. They do not believe it either.
If anyone ever killed the hen that layed golden eggs, it was Netflix with the Witcherverse.
Thank you, but no thank you.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
Such a wasted potential
CGI is weak to a point that you await for Supermans moustache to appear from nowhere. Almost in every take you see failed ragdoll, or clunky looking movement. Main plot is basicly nonexistent, and absolutely not interesting. All the superhero theme elements are rarely engaging, this character has so much potential, unfortunately wasted. Watching this show is like licking a candy thru a foil, or like having a speeder motorbike without the driving skill required to use it properly. And last, but absolutely not the least - the most annoying thing is that almost every script line, every catchphrase is underlined with badly understood empowerment.
Altered Carbon: Resleeved (2020)
Not the worst, but not good either
The storyline is somewhat good, but simple and a bit shallow. The worst part of it, is the animation. Not smooth, staggering at moments, very stiff and unpleasantly bulky. Graphics is just a bit odious and lousy. Fluidity and smoothness of anime is absolutely lost here.
Insiders (2021)
WTF?! Do not watch!
No actual plot whatsoever, despite the main secret host being a famous actress from Casa de Papel, that is constantly implying that there is a secret to be revealed, riiiight around the corner. There isn't.
If you watch and like reality shows, give this one a hard pass. No activities, no fun, just sad and boring drama, and it all seems forcibly scripted, which is somewhat confirmed in maybe 5th or 6th episode.
But if you decide to watch it (please don't), but if you do... The most annoying person in that basement will win this, and that is just a last nail in that coffin.
Fable (1997)
Quite good as for an Australian movie... NO SPOILERS
A popular TV reporter Henry Fable runs his own show on TV for years. Fable unveiled many misuse of funds of Adrian Blake, famous and also accused for corruption businessman. Blake is hiding, but Fable tries to reach him while he meets with terminally ill daughter. Blake crushes his car, but before death, he gives to Fable a strange amulet. At the same time, in another car accident, Fable's wife and his son die too. Amulet is also a curse, and blessing- it's owner has enormous luck, but sometimes bad things happen to him. Fable tries to solve secret of his family mysterious death, and true destiny of the strange amulet. Not bad at all... Why do i give 7/10? Because this series deserves it.