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Reviews
Xue men ying zhao (1981)
Only the mighty shall survive THE EAGLE FIST!!!
This was a film I picked up recently on DVD. I was expecting a horrible Kung Fu movie and was surprised to discover that this movie was actually very entertaining. The movie is a straight-forward classic Kung Fu flick, but there is a comedic feel to it. Our hero is the constable of a small village. After being beaten and humiliated in battle, by an old Kung Fu master, he sets off to become the old man's student. He learns the teacher's "Eagle Fist" style only to discover that the final step of the technique is a secret even to the teacher. The only surviving source of information on it is in a book, stolen from the teacher 10 years prior. Our hero goes out in search of the thief, to reclaim the book and his teacher's honor. There are some good fights, and a twist ending I honestly never saw coming. I recommend this movie if you like 70's style kung fu movies or just need to see some old fashion beat downs.
Die Hard Dracula (1998)
Egads!!!
It's hard to even put this in to words. This movie honestly looked like a group of people threw this together in a week using a camcorder. I believe they started off trying to make a serious movie, then tried to make it a comedy when they realized how bad it was, and then failed at making it into a comedy. From what I could gather (Without skipping through) A guys girlfriend drowns, he goes to Europe. Dracula wakes up. People turn into bad acting vampires, and there's a bad ending. European women must be really trusting, because they have no trouble walking up to shrouded, hideously disfigured strangers, completely unarmed. There's all of 2 seconds of female nudity in the film, but believe me, you'd be better off watching "Porky's". God forbid you actually buy this thing like I did. I suppose I should have taken a hint when a new DVD only cost me 5 bucks. This is also one of the only dvd's I've seen that had no menu or scene selection. Even Crummy bootlegs usually give you that much. Please don't think that you can buy this thing just to make fun of it. The bad comedy makes even that joy impossible. Movies like this are the basic reason why independent films are so heavily frowned upon. I'm sure the makers had good intentions, and they probably enjoyed making it. But even Troma films have a certain degree of cheap disgusting charm to them, this one is just soul less.
Black Scorpion (2001)
A Fun,Imaginative Show...
What some people might not realize is that "Black Scorpion: The Series" is not meant to be serious. Its just an hour of over the top action, and comic book realism. Don't look at it as a serious action program or an award winning, life-changing show. Its just a hour where you can put aside reality and political correctness and enjoy fiction at its best. Yes, The show does have several women in spandex and yes, it can be a little hokey at times but its the flaws and eccentrisities that make the show a little less "stuck-up". I for one am tired of the same shows with the same plots and the same mass produced feel to them. Roger Corman, The show's director and financial backer, wanted to make something that we haven't seen in a long time. He wanted to show that television could still be fun. How many shows do we watch only because other people watch them? Black Scorpion might not be spiritually uplifting or educational at the least, but its enjoyable. The show has had some very nice acting and it does have great fight scenes. The best reason to watch is for the Supervillains that pop up every week. It brings back that feeling of the Batman series we all watched at one point or another. This homage to Batman is made crystal clear by having Adam West(Batman) and Frank Gorshin(The Riddler) both make guest appearences as supervillains. This show is probably one that viewers will either love or hate as soon as they see an episode. But I suggest you watch an episode or two.