Change Your Image
davidw5748
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Browncoats: Redemption (2010)
Complete masturbation.
As a hardcore Whedonite (Firefly being my favorite of the bunch), I long for a season 2 (or a sequel to Serenity) with the best of them. I cannot, however, condone the awful chop-job they made of my favorite verse. I am convinced that Fox allowed it just so that people would stop asking for a season 2.
Here's a couple of protips: 1: Adding a few Chinese phrases doesn't make your trash sound like Firefly. Neither does shooting scenes in insufficient light make it LOOK like Firefly. 2: If you plan to USE Chinese phrases, the actors should be able to say those phrases in a way that (regardless of accuracy) at least SOUND like they are comfortable; the Chinese is supposed to be a natural part of their culture. The cast of Firefly managed it regardless of how difficult it was for them. 3: If you are going to use WESTERN phrases, the actors should be able to say those phrases in a way that (regardless of accuracy) at least SOUND like they are comfortable. (see above for the rest; I guess now I know why actual actors get paid so much.) 4: When you screw up a scene, don't just keep going and correct yourself, reminding yourself audibly what your line *should* have been. Cut, and start the scene over. This is not a play, regardless of what the set pieces seem to imply; you don't have to go with your first take. 5: Don't force references to Firefly. Yes, beagles have smallish droppings. Yes, it was funny when Mal said it. No, it is not funny when you say it. Because you're awful at this. Just awful. 6: At least attempt to *modify* the clothes you're wearing into costumes. It doesn't take much effort, and it can go a long way. 7: There's a reason for boom mics. 8: This is the important bit. You must pay close attention to this particular bit, because it is the most vital direction that any reviewer will give you. Here it is: don't screw around with Joss Whedon's stuff. It's too good to live up to. Your attempt at a tribute, no matter how lovingly intended, will be a nausea-inducing insult to everyone who loves Whedon's work enough to watch yours.
In conclusion, I feel as though I've just staggered into a room full of unattractive people masturbating all over something that I love, and I'll be scarred by it for years to come.
I Hate My Teenage Daughter (2011)
Why are people rating this already?
See how I'm giving a neutral vote of 5? That's because the show hasn't aired yet, and the pilot won't air for another two days. So why does this show already have a rating of 6.0 out of 10 stars up at the top of the page? You people are animals... Apparently, I also need to add more lines. That's fairly annoying, as I thought that the issue was pretty well summed up. While we are putting together arbitrary rules on submissions, how's about we prevent people from rating a show that hasn't aired yet? Just a thought, fellas... And can we please define "Junk Words?" Do you simply mean gibberish? Or do you mean that there is a minimum vocabulary requirement for posting a review? Because I have to say, most of the reviews I have seen indicate otherwise. Of course, they could just be adding in random crap because IMDb forces you to put in a certain amount of content. Whatever happened to being able to describe something in less than ten lines of text?
Enemy Mine (1985)
Revolutionary and touching
I am ashamed to announce that I had never heard of this movie until last week, and elated to say that I have watched it for the first time tonight. The acting was incredible and the storyline was (for its time) almost completely unheard of, and revolutionary. It is not uncommon, in todays literature and films, to be shown the similarities between enemies; in fact, it is now so common an element that it is sometimes thrown in as an afterthought. But in 1985, the ideas of the day were still largely black and white, good and evil, right and wrong. This movie demonstrated how two enemies, vastly different even down to their very species, could find common ground, and how it is possible for two seemingly opposed views to both be absolutely right. It was a touching exploration, and I strongly urge anyone, whether sci-fi fan or not, to see this movie at least once. The two hours will be better-spent than most, and you may find that you have a new favorite.
Firefly (2002)
Unspeakably exquisite
Of any show ever to air, this had the potential to be, by far, the greatest. Even the short bit that did make it to the public - less than a full season - was better than 95% of the stuff that gets pumped at us everyday. If one had to slap a generic title on it, I suppose I would have to call it a "Space Western." Like any Joss Whedon show, it is important to watch this one in order; otherwise, none of the story lines make much sense. While each episode can stand alone, and each is a work of art, they are much better when seen in order, since it is all one ongoing storyline. Thus, it is important, if you rent or purchase it, to watch it in the order it is in on DVD, NOT THE ORDER FOX AIRED IT IN. While many things could contribute to this show's senseless failure, I would say it has to be Fox airing it at random times, in random order. Watch this show, or you will be depriving yourself of your new favorite show.