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Reviews
Plane (2023)
Is this a joke?
The most pathetic, implausible script I've seen in any film. Including the rubbish you see in the daytime on sci fi.
This is no "white knuckle" experience like some reviews say. It's boring, unbelievable and laugh out loud pathetic.
Arguably the worst film I've ever sat through. It beggars belief that someone written this and allowed anyone to read it, let alone made it into a film. Genuinely embarrassing.
If a 10 year old school kid written this they would get a F.
If anyone wants to watch a movie like this that is half decent, it has to be pre 2010, preferably from the 80's or 90's.
Truly awful.
Nope (2022)
Boring drawn out rubbish with the most annoying lead of all time.
Where to start?
Style over substance from a massively overrated writer/producer/director.
His debut was overrated and ridiculous, Us was enjoyable and well shot but has massive plot holes. This feels like it goes on forever with not much happening. Keke Palmer is also thoroughly annoying from her first scene to her last.
It's like a sci-fi channel movie but 40 mins longer with a bigger budget. It feels like a 3 hour slog if you manage to make it to the end.
It ticks all the boxes for current media critics, but none for viewers.
This is a hard watch even for sci fi fans. I can't imagine anyone actually liking this movie. Give it a miss.
The Black Phone (2021)
Overrated
No depth to the plot at all. No background or motivation to Ethan Hawkes character. Nothing about the phone. Felt very shallow and rushed.
No suspense or fear that anything will happen the main character. Massive disappointment.
The Pogmentary (2022)
Beyond delusional
The most deluded man ever to walk the earth. He's a total clown.
Lack of self awareness is truly amazing.
I will be amazed if he has a sponsor not desperate to drop him.
Instagram footballer is all he is.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Why?
Why does Disney cause itself so much bad will?
Truly awful, child/cartoon like script. Awful pacing and a bunch of "Mary Sues". Including a 8 year old one, who runs like a toddler but can't be caught by adults.
I'm not sure anyone else could but Disney could have made this mess. So many iconic characters ruined and wasted again.
Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)
Great
This would be refreshingly good from any Hollywood studio. It's jaw dropping that it's from Disney.
This fun, simple movie could signal a long overdue major trend change.
The Batman (2022)
Batboy and Catgirl
Awful film with a generic plot that felt nothing like a Batman movie.
No character development for this version of Bruce Wayne leaves you feeling disconnected from the film.
The lack of a charismatic "villain" with a plot to be foiled is criminal.
Without doubt the worst "Batman" of any generation. Weak, unconvincing, uncharismatic. Like a boring emo teenager.
The Joker is a movie icon (Nicholson, Ledger, Phoenix). The giggling idiot at the end of this movie guaranteed I won't watch the second one.
Hollywood is dead.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Best American movie in a while.
Leather face is the hero in this one. It's a joy watching him kill the now mandatory cast of ugly girls and buff idiot guys. Hollywood definitely discriminates against attractive women these days.
Ending is particularly satisfying.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
Loved it. Wasn't what I feared.
Great movie. Didn't feel the need to trash the original or it's characters.
Great for kids and their parents/grand parents who love ghostbusters.
No virtue signalling, No "message" and no blue haired, teenage gender neutral character to save the day.
Clerk (2021)
Awful. Worst 10 minutes of my life.
Does anyone like this guy? I personally doubt his parents do.
It's the most self indulgent rubbish from someone who nobody likes. I want my 10 minutes back.
Dune (2021)
Perfect
If you think this is slow.......you are.
So refreshing to not be disappointed by a movie. The lack of virtue signalling and "current Hollywood" was a pleasant surprise. The visuals and score are epic.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Awful. Don't understand the high score.
Disappointing as I'm a fan of the writer. Too many plot holes and the self indulgent, pointless, endless dialogue is too much to bare.
No one seems shocked when Nosferatu turns up at the church and the ending is hilariously rushed.
As a final kick in the teeth, the horrible character everyone will hate, doesn't get a nasty enough ending.
Possessed (2000)
Hilariously bad
I can only imagine Timothy Dalton laughs or cries at this monstrosity.
In a genre of horror where films are 99% bad. This is the worst. By a distance.
The possessed kid is comically bad.
The Lost Boys (1987)
Best kids movie ever.
My favourite childhood movie. One of the few that has stood the test of time.