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Reviews
Devil in Ohio (2022)
A conflicted mess
There's so much to write about this one I'm not sure where to start, so I'll go for bullet points.
The family are awful. Every single one of them is an objectively terrible person. The adopted precocious young child, the narcissistic older one, the pitiful self pitying middle child. The moronic dad who spends two years of his life modifying a house for somebody at his own cost with no agreement in place. The mother who just dumps a car crash of an adoptee on her family with no discussion.
The fact that the family didn't just welcome this massive intrusion into their lives, and rebelled against it is actually a realistic thing. As was the fact that most of them were terrible people, this is actually in the shows favour.
The cult are paper thin with unrealistic objectives. They sacrifice children in fires for a corn harvest when there is a 7-11 down the road. They can afford marquee lawyers but are a failed corn harvest away from dying.
Various unresolved plot points. Middle daughter talks repeatedly about her special Pink shirt, and all the reasons it's special to her. Devil girl steal said shirt and chops it up for an altar to satan, middle daughter never finds out and doesn't seem to care anyway. Some high falutin lawyer appears to defend the cult, no mention of him is ever made again, or how he is connected to the cult.
The middle daughters gay best friend who is simultaneously an absolute loser who nobody likes and is somehow also in the running for some school popularity contest. Also an horrific character, and one of the many who leave you wishing for some Carrie style reckoning where everybody dies, painfully.
The music. Oh my lord the music. Dreadful. Didn't suit the tone of the show. Played at inappropriate moments. Played too loud and too long. Whoever was in charge of that part of this needs firing out of a cannon into the sun.
The twist at the end. Everybody else was absolutely bloody awful. The only person who seemed ok was devil girl. Then they did her dirty in the last 2 minutes of the show. I feel like I wasted 6 hours of my life and there wasn't a single redeemable character in the whole thing. If you're going to have a twist and paint the hero as a Machiavellian evil mastermind at the end, at least leave some other characters as fallbacks who you can revise your opinion of. I want a season two now which is approximately 5 minutes long and is just Satan coming back and burning the whole lot of em in some biblical firestorm.
The Legend of Robert the Doll (2018)
Awesome
Hammy German accents. Clichéd lines. Bad acting (I'm pretty sure one of the dead bodies licked their lips at one point). Bad special effects. Awful make up and costumes. Inconsistent timelines (we fast forward 70 years at the end and the protagonist hasn't aged a day and neither has his sister). Nonsensical plot and motivations. (As an extra bonus I think Willem Dafoe has made an uncredited appearance as the co-lead).
This film has everything.
If you've got an hour and twenty minutes to kill, let Robert kill it for you. Great stuff, I'd have given it a ten but I suspect we have yet to hit a peak with this franchise.
Blacklight (2022)
Turned it off after 22 mins
I rarely turn off a film. If I've watched ten minutes I'm usually committed to watching the entire thing. Not this. Cliched, boring mess of a film. Avoid.
The Mind of Herbert Clunkerdunk (2019)
Awful
If you were one of the people who used to religiously tune in to whatever painfully unfunny babblings Vic Reeves had for that week, you're probably going to love this. If you have any kind of sense of humour, you're probably going to hate it.
Truly abysmal.
It's like somebody watched The Mighty Boosh and thought how can we make this weirder and even less amusing. They succeeded and for that reason only, assuming that was what they were going for, I've given this 2 stars. Purely for achieving their goals.
Watching this was possibly the cringiest 15 minutes of my life.
The Last Igloo (2019)
Stunning documentary
This came on BBC2 just as I was thinking of going to bed, 2 hours later I was still glued to the TV. This documentary was utterly captivating.
The hunter was engaging and really dragged you into his life, his life was so different it was hard not to be fascinated and the cinematography was beautiful and absolutely out of this world, a stunning watch on a good TV, this is what 4K/HDTV's were made for.
I was just really pleased he didn't manage to catch a seal, as I fully expected them to show him killing it.