DrPhilmreview Reviews

Combat!: The Bridge at Chalons (1963) Season 2, Episode 1

Marvin the (Less than) Marvelous

[4 March 2024]

Sgt. Turk (Lee Marvin) is an absolute d*ck to Saunders (Vic Morrow) and the squad (Kirby, Billy, Little John, Doc) as they escort him to a bridge he's supposed to blow up. To add injury to insult, I think more squad members get wounded in this episode than just about any other.

There's a lot of action in this but because Turk is so off putting (for seemingly little reason) the episode falls a bit flat. Lee Marvin is a good actor but the script doesn't give him much to do other than play everything one note throughout. Adding more shades to his character would have made this a much better story.

Combat!: No Trumpets, No Drums (1963) Season 1, Episode 32

Caje Match

[4 March 2024]

This has to be Pierre Jalbert's best episode in the series. In this Caje accidentally kills a French civilian and is awash in guilt. Now some lesser shows might have made it turn out the dead man was really a German collaborator and got Caje off the hook that way, but not "Combat!".

Instead Caje discovers the man had a now orphaned daughter. He neglects his duty and sees only the duty of making it up to the girl and befriending her. It's Saunders job to get him back to being himself, the best man to put on point and a valuable member of the squad. The scenes between an increasingly frustrated Saunders and a mixed up Caje are very good.

Pierre Jalbert gets a lot to do in this episode playing guilt, shock, disillusionment and more. He does not fail or over do anything (though I thought the episode itself spent a little too much time with scenes of him trying to amuse the girl). It's a part that is usually reserved for whoever the week's big name guest star is.

It's too bad Jambert didn't get more opportunities in the series to do more real acting like this. He proved he could do it and that made for a very good episode..

Burke's Law: Who Killed the Jackpot? (1965) Season 2, Episode 30

Honey Trap!

[30 January 2023]

A body is discovered on the flashing neon sign of a hotel. Burke and his men are on the scene to investigate when a beautiful blonde shows up. Turns out she is Honey West (Ann Francis) a well-known private investigator who had been hired by the deceased.

Although warned by Burke to stay off the case (after all she no longer had a client) West is determined to find out who bumped off her client and why.

A backdoor pilot for the "Honey West" tv series, its easy to see why this show was picked up. Francis is good as West and there's some nice tension between her and Burke. It's too bad he didn't make a crossover appearance on "Honey West" the next season but of course by then Burke (and Barry) were now international spies and no longer mere police captains.

Mayberry R.F.D.: Youth Takes Over (1968) Season 1, Episode 7

Surprisingly Flat Episode

[31 December 2022]

Written by the great James Brooks, this episode comes off pretty flat and comically empty. Mayberry decides to have a "Youth Day" but one which only seems to involve three of Mayberry's youth. Three boys (Mike, Arnold and Martin) are given the opportunity to take over as Sheriff, Head of City. Council and County Clerk. No other students appear to be involved in any way in Youth Day.

Andy, Sam and Howard really don't have any plans for what the boys can do on "Youth Day" so their experience falls flat. And there is very little comedy in watching them do nothing.

In one of his rare "RFD" appearances, Andy Griffith looks like he'd rather be anyplace else but Mayberry. He should have been used better in his occasional appearances. Perhaps some "porch" scenes where.he could have played guitar and sang or acted as consultant for Sam. Here he just doesn't seem very happy.

The Jerry Lewis Show (I) (1958 TV Special)

Uneven Special

[28 September 2022]

Once again Jerry Lewis shows off the energy and stamina he had as an entertainer as he carries the ball in scene after scene. But here the results are a little uneven at best.

Jerry revisits a singing bit he did on the old Colgate show singing "Sometimes I'm Happy" while a choir interrupts his song. It was great on the Colgate show where he purportedly rehearsed the choir as a surprise to his partner Dean but here he tells the audience they have been rehearsing for weeks. So why is he surprised when they do what they do? The original worked much better.

Jerry also does a silent bit as a lonely soul who longs for love and tries to find it with tips from a record narrated by guest Hans Conried. It's okay but goes on a long time without a lot of laughs.

Sophie Tucker has a solo number that makes one wonder how she could have been the "first lady of show business". It does not age well. It's better when Jerry joins her in song (he clearly loves her) but its nothing to write home about.

Betty Grable also has a forgettable solo number and then a second comedy number where Jerry plays a fumbling choir boy messing up her act.

I found the best stuff came at the end when Jerry worked with the orchestra, playing "concerto" with a hammy piano player and then doing a vaudeville dance number with a partner he fails to introduce. The man certainly could dance.

Certainly not the worst of the Lewis solo specials, but in the end a bit disappointing despite Jerry's energy and trying so hard.

The Jerry Lewis Show (1957 TV Special)

Surprisingly Weak

[31 May 2022]

You would think Jerry's first solo special after the split with Dean Martin would be full of energy, comedy and big name guests. But you would be wrong.

After a cold opening singing a portion of his current hit "Rock-a-bye Your Baby with a Dixie Melody" the show begins with a lame parody of teen music dance shows hosted by Jan Murray. It ends in a moment of pathos as Jerry's poor snook fails to win the bike he so likes.

Then instead of a big name singer he introduces his musical "find" Judy Scott, who is okay at best.

The rest of the show plods along lifelessly only highlighted by Jerry's directing the Norman Luboff choir and later doing a number with both his house band and the Woody Herman band. You expect comedy chaos to ensue but nothing really does.

Although listed as a guest, Ernie Kovacs is NOT in this special though he is referenced to have a show that follows this.

Glad to say Jerry's next effort at a TV special was far, far better and kind of what you would have expected this one to be.

Immortal Sergeant (1943)

Surrender

[9 October 2009]

Henry Fonda walks through this disappointing film about a corporal who learns to be a man and "fight for what he wants" after his squad's sergeant (Thomas Mitchell) is killed and he has to take over the squad in the Libyan desert. The tensionless war scenes are broken up by dull flashbacks of Fonda's relationship with Maureen O'Hara, who he treats as kind of a gal pal because he's just too shy or unsure of himself to go for despite the fact she is obviously hungering for him (only because there's a British fop also after her. Maureen had to be hungering for John Wayne to show up as a Yank so she could blow off both of these losers).

The direction is pedestrian and the script would have been thrown away by Wayne or Stewart. I particularly enjoyed seeing the soldiers walk through the desert in the daytime in foul weather gear while its hot and they're dying of thirst. Yes, it gets cold in the desert at night. But this wasn't at night!

Zabriskie Point (1970)

A Dull Point

[9 October 2009]

This is probably not the worst film ever made, but it's got to be one of the runners up. Start with bad sound, add a lack of tension, humor, drama or story, mix in a gallon or two of pretentiousness, shoot it through the lens of anti-US, anti-establishment and then find us some of the least interesting actors in the world and you have Zabrinskie Point. The only reason this film should be watched is to see the great scenery of Death Valley and perhaps to see how NOT to make a film. Don't even THINK of looking at this in the hopes of seeing Harrison Ford. You won't find him and may pass out watching this film while looking for him.

Android (1982)

A is for Android

[25 June 2009]

I think most of the budget of this New World sci-fi film probably went toward Klaus Kinski. It's amazing how many low-budget specials this guy has made. Nevertheless, "Android" does have some charms to it. Don Keith Oper does double duty as screenwriter and Max, the android of the title and helps make this somewhat interesting. Neither of the ladies in this film really had much of a career after it and watching them one can see why. They don't really bring much to the party. The director does a decent job considering the budget limitations and went on to a successful career doing TV shows and occasional TV movies. But can you guess which of these performers actually appeared in "Saving Private Ryan"? Yes, tough guy Mendes, Crodton Hardester.

The X Files: I Want to Believe (2008)

Disappointing Follow Up

[2 February 2009]

This film is a waste of time for people not already familiar with "The X-Files" and a disappointment to those who are. While Duchovney and Anderson fit comfortably back into their old roles, strangely enough Chris Carter does not. Like an aging Gene Roddenberry, he seems to have forgotten whet made his hit series popular in the first place. This film lacks tension, suspense, and when you get right down to it, even an "X-File". I find it strange that someone who could do so many stand alone one hour episodes fails in his second chance to take that same style and creativity to the big screen and create an X-Files movie that lives up to the series. Instead "X-Files: I Want to Believe" is to the series what "McHale's Navy Joins the Air Force" is to that series.

The Private Navy of Sgt. O'Farrell (1968)

Sinking Ship

[22 October 2008]

This film seems (if you'll pardon the expression) inspired by "McHale's Navy" and "Hallalujah Trail". Hope, way too old for the part, tries to come across as a a McHale/Sgt. Bilko type but doesn't pull it off. He still manages to come across slightly better than former Enterprise Captain Jeffrey Hunter who just mugs his way through scene after scene. One wonders if he hurt his eyes popping them as much as he did.

This was the last film by director Frank Tashlin, who had last directed Hope in "Son of Paleface". It's a sad reunion. There are occasional Tashlin type jokes (like Hope rowing in a submarine) but the story is a mess. Scenes seem to be missing (after setting up Phyllis Diller with the idea Lt. Commander Snavley has a crush on her, she waits for him. The next time we see them they are driving through the jungle in a jeep without explanation) and the narrative (if you're paying attention) is very choppy.

You get the feeling Tashlin was wishing he was back with Jerry Lewis, who he'd directed in 8 films since last directing Hope.

Whether you like Diller's shtick or not, she's one of the only strong performers in the film (you do wish Hope or someone would have explored the way they treat her though. Her character is actually fun and has a good heart yet they treat her like she was nothing). Gina Lollabridgida must have wondered how her career had gotten to this point and the French girl (a really underwritten part) with her I think went back to France to make movies after her experience with "The Private Navy of Sgt. O'Farrell".

Fathom (1967)

Incredibly Dull

[7 July 2008]

I had heard this was one of the films that "made" Raquel Welch (the other being "1 Million B.C.") but I can't see how, unless by "made" they mean "revealed to be an incredibly stiff and dull actress with a great body, but little or no acting ability".

Welch is undeniably hot, and the film showcases her talents in a variety of bikinis and tight outfits, but the direction is plodding, the story dull and uninvolving, and the humor obvious and unfunny. The best thing on this DVD were the trailers for the "Our Man Flint" movies. This was truly a miserable film experience.

Raquel Welch became a star DESPITE such wretched projects, not because of it.

Flashpoint (1984)

Run for the Border

[6 April 2008]

Screenwriter Dennis Shryack wastes good source material with this deary adaptation of the novel "Flashpoint". I guess you can't expect much from a guy who's resume includes "The Gauntlet", "Turner and Hootch" and "Rent-a-Cop". He was the wrong guy to do this adaptation. Director William Tannen adds to the disappointment that is "Flashpoint" by draining the film of suspense and tension at every turn. And the big reveal of what's really going on is more botched and confusing than earth-shattering as it should be. I like Treat Williams and Kris Kristofferson but they seem to be set adrift in this story that just kind of meanders along until it figures its run long enough to be released. Not a complete waste of time, thanks to Kristofferson, Williams and Rip Torn, but darn close.

True Blue (2001)

Bearing Berenger

[9 December 2007]

What happened to Tom Berenger's career? Is he difficult to work with? Or a poor judge of scripts? I always found him effective and interesting, and indeed he makes the beginning of "True Blue" interesting as he plays a cop with the unlikely name of Rembrandt Macy. I also liked the casting of the hip young cop team he's in charge of. And who can complain about Lori Heuring as the movie's mystery girl? However this cast is wasted as the film plods on and tries to startle us with a few switcheroos, but they are wasted as the audience has long fallen asleep before they unravel. Berenger appears to have happily settled in the world of direct to video movie releases occupied by the likes of Michael Biehn and Tim Matheson. Too bad. I think he's better than this. I had never heard of this film before I saw it in the library. Now I know why.

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

De Moan Night

[14 August 2007]

I'll say one thing for these "Tales of the Crypt" shows--they always had some pretty good female nudity. This feature version of the series is no exception. But sadly, neither is it exceptional.

Instead its a tiresome story with Billy Zane as the bad guy, acting like he's auditioning for the part of a road show Lex Luther. He's in major scenery chewing mode. He's after the key with the blood of Jesus, captured at the Crucifixion and handed down from guardian to guardian. Now its William Sadler's turn to keep it away from the demons.

In addition to Will Smith's wife to be, Jada Pinkett, the cast includes Thomas Hayden Church, Charles Fleischer and John Shuck. You can't really blame them for doing this I guess. It's a paycheck, and probably nobody will ever see this anyway.

Just a note about the Cryptkeeper puppet--I never thought it was very impressive and it looks particularly bad here. I'll be curious to see the next (probably CGI) version of the Cryptkeeper. But let's forget about the remake of "Demon Knight", okay?

Tough and Deadly (1995 Video)

Tough and Deadly...to Watch

[17 April 2007]

Incredibly boring movie about a top secret CIA agent (Billy Blanks) who loses his memory. He is befriended by an ex-cop, played by former wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper. Together they get in fights about every three minutes. Blanks discovers he still has the reflexes of a killin' machine, even though he doesn't know why. Sound intriguing? It's not.

This is the kind of movie they used to put on the second or even third bill of a drive in movie. The story and direction would chase the customers out--or just played as background to couples making out in their cars. It's just fight after fight after fight. I really enjoyed Piper in "They Live", shot just a few years before this, but he's given very little of interest to do here, and Billy Blanks, as fine an athlete as he is, is not remotely interesting as an actor.

TekWar (1994 TV Movie)

Tekwore On and On

[25 March 2007]

Tek apparently is a futuristic term meaning "boring".

"Tekwar" is a major snoozefest for anyone except hardcore sci-fi freaks who still insist "Logan's Run" was a good movie. Based on the series of novels ghostwritten for William Shatner, somehow this film got picked up as an equally unwatchable series.

Shatner himself can usually be counted on to deliver up a show saving hammy performance, is unfortunately way too restrained in this. Greg Evigan was okay in the lead (though there is definite evidence that he's following Shatner's direction closely--just look at the way he moves and acts) but not good enough to save "Tekwar". You get the feeling after awhile he'd welcome the appearance of Sheriff Lobo and the Bear.

I had a difficult time getting to the end of this one.

Death Benefit (1996 TV Movie)

Death Benefit: Can't Watch This

[25 March 2007]

This movie is interminable. Peter Horton plays a lawyer who is out to investigate the possible homicide of a young girl virtually nobody cares about, including anybody unfortunate enough to happen to watch this incredibly dull film.

Helmed by TV director Mark Piznarski, you get the feeling this "based on a true story" script has LOTS of embellishments, and none of them are interesting. No real reason is given as to why Horton's character is sooooo obsessed with this case that he would jeopardize his career, his relationship with his son and everyone else in his life. He just is. What makes it even harder to believe is we're never really given much of a portrait of the murdered girl. I didn't find her case compelling in the slightest, yet here's Horton obsessed with it. Carrie Snodgrass as the killer had a chance to create an interesting character, but never even reaches the level of killer in a bad episode of "Law & Order".

This film illustrates the real death benefit is that the dead can't be forced to watch this.

Slaughter of the Innocents (1993)

All in the Family

[14 March 2007]

This is either a very good home movie or a very bad commercial film.

Writer-director James Glickenhaus makes the tragic mistake of casting his own son, Jessie Cameron-Glickenhaus as the juvenile lead in this one, as the Encyclopedia Brown-like computer wiz who helps his FBI dad (Scott Glenn) with serial murder cases. Only a very talented young actor might be able to pull an idea like that off. Jessie, whose career ended when his father stopped making movies ("Timemaster") does not qualify.

He's one of those bad movie kids that you just want to go away.

The film does have Scott Glenn, Kevin Sorbo and the lovely Darlane Flugel from "Crime Story"(for some reason she always plays the wife of tough law enforcement officers) as well as "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" star Armin Shiverman, but they can't overcome the combined talents (or lack of) by the Glickenhaus family.

For his part, James contributes a script that doesn't work, highlighted by an outrageous ending in which the serial killer (who is of course a religious fantastic) builds an Ark and puts it on rails so it can go flying over a desert cliff. Hey, he's crazy, right? So he does crazy things, right? The big scene with the ark is laughably bad.

The Black Dahlia (2006)

The Unwatchables

[2 March 2007]

Why does Hollywood persist on taking extremely interesting stories like the Balck Dahlia mystery, the George Reeves murder ("Hollywoodland") and then throwing out everything that's interesting about the real story and overloading it with a lot of dumb stuff and fake characters that have NOTHING to do with the real story.

This was just painful to watch. The Black Dahlia mystery seems like its just tagged on to a boring story about a couple of cops who used to be prizefighters ("Fire" and "Ice") and are now both in love with the same woman (Scarlet Johanson, who can blame them). They visit huge lesbian clubs that could not have possibly existed in the '40's as portrayed in this film and get involved with blackmail, revenge, everything EXCEPT the black dahlia murder it seems (though Josh Harnett seems to have little trouble wrapping it up once he finds the set of a porn film Elizabeth Short was seen in--like porn crews keep standing sets months after their shoots then just leave them there).

I like DePalma's direction, but this script is not worthy and he should have known better.

Magnolia (1999)

What's That Smell?

[1 March 2007]

It's been a while since Paul Thomas Anderson has made a film, and a fresh look at "Magnolia" gives you a good clue why.

Despite a million dollar cast including Julianne Moore, William H. Macy, John C. Reily, Tom Cruise, Phillip Baker Hall, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Luiz Guzman and Jason Robards (this was his last feature. It's debatable if this film killed him) the film is dull, pretentious and insufferable. However, it does contain one of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes in all of motion pictures: the scene where it starts raining frogs in the San Fernando Valley.

Paul Thomas Anderson went on to make the equally overrated but somewhat better "Punch Drunk Love" before seeming to disappear from the silver screen for awhile. I guess he just hasn't found any financing for "Magnolia II: the Frogs Strike Back".

Scent of a Woman (1992)

No Scenery Goes Unchewed

[1 March 2007]

Isn't it about time people reassessed this 1992 film and Al Pacino's Oscar winning performance? If they did, I think the academy would ask Al for his Oscar back. He is so way, way over the top as Lt. Col Frank Slade its embarrassing. His performance is just hard to watch as he sucks all the air out of the room.

Unfortunately, by giving Pacino an overdue Oscar for this, it only encouraged him to be bigger and broader in his subsequent performances, in my opinion ruining his career. He seems to have lost all touch with subtly and it began right here.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Chris O'Donnell, at the early part of their careers probably learned a lot by watching Pacino as they co-starred in this--what NOT to do on the big screen.

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

Dude, Where's My Laughs?

[1 March 2007]

Maybe you don't have to be a stoner to enjoy "Harold and Kumar" but I'm sure it helps. Watching this terrible comedy sober should be something they try on prisoners in Guatanamo Bay.

I hadn't realized until going to IMDb.com that the film was directed by Danny Leiner, who also directed another of the worst comedies ever made, the legendary "Dude, Where's My Car?". In "Harold and Kumar" Neil Patrick Harris takes over the role of annoying "C" grade celebrity that Hal Sparks seemed to have in "Dude".

Plans for a sequel to this have been announced, which should be protested by fans of intelligent comedies everywhere.

Would I Lie to You? (2002 Video)

Not so Wilde

[1 March 2007]

Mostly tiresome entry in the Brad Rowe cannon that includes such films as "Getting Hal", "Body Shots" and "Stonebrook". Never heard of those? Consider yourself lucky. He does nothing with the role of Paul, except make you wish someone else was playing the character.

"Would I Lie to You?" features the charms of Susan Ward ("Wild Things II") as Olivia, but otherwise this modernization of the classic "The Importance of Being Earnest" is mostly forgettable. This version was done the same year as the bloated and boring Oliver Parker directed film and also misses the target, but on a much lower budget. Oscar Wilde fans are still best advised to stay with the 1952 version starring Michael Redgrave.

Out of Annie's Past (1995 TV Movie)

Not a Sequel to "Annie"

[22 February 2007]

This is NOT to be confused with the Robert Mitchum classic "Out of the Past". The ONLY thing this made for TV lifetime movie has going for it is having Catherine Mary Stewart and Dennis Farina in it.

Stewart, cast as the ingénue in "The Last Starfighter" and the love interest in "Weekend at Bernie's" is quite lovely and serviceable as the Annie in the title. She was once Natalie, a suspect in a homicide, but blew town and successfully created a whole new identity. She's now married with a child and a new life when Dennis Farina shows up as a sleazy bounty hunter/blackmailer and threatens to expose her unless she comes up with $100,000.

But despite the pretense of these interesting and talented actors, this film drags and I can't really point to any great moments anywhere in the film. Also as much as I like Stewart, she doesn't seem to be the type to be able to forget her past and start a whole new identity, much less stand up to a blackmailer. She's done better when she's merely the worthy object of desire. Farina has some fun as the sleazy blackmailer, but not enough to make this film worth recommending.

Yet without these two talented stars, this film would probably get a one rating.