supermellowcali Reviews

Bromates (2022)

Tired and predictable despite a good cast

[3/10 · 8 October 2022]

While this movie has good overall production and actors, the script is too weak to deliver anything but bland scenes we've seen before and humor written by an elderly producer that has "always worked," which of course makes it drum-roll unfunny in 2022. The story is the same as always too, beginning with the Odd Couple scenario, but less funny, moving on to the Bad Boys routine, but tame and mundane, then finally the CW version of character growth ("I realize now I only wanted to be with ____ because I _____") offering nothing new. Even Mr. Dogg's appearance didn't save this trite muck, so I'd definitely avoid this movie if you have a life.

Hellraiser (2022)

Now that is some crazy sh it

[7/10 · 7 October 2022]

Just wow if you're into horror this is wild. This isn't my thing at all but I have to appreciate the imagination and care that went into the directing and editing of this crazy story, an extension of the Hellraiser world that seems true to the original though I'm no expert. This one takes the macabre to a higher level with the type of weirdness you'd expect but even stranger, more powerful, inevitable and hopeless. In that way, the goal of this film is met, delivering these adrenaline nightmares which, presumably, give us great feelings from coming back and knowing it's just a story. This kind of story only works with excellent acting too, and these were all top notch, notably the lead girl who's (let's just say) about 18 and makes the whole thing work with her natural beauty and somehow believable performance, despite the fact that she keeps picking up the effing box and we keep going "Why the eff is she picking up the effing box?! Put it the eff down!" I guess that's part of the horror tradition too, along with a truly horrifying ending, which this one also um "pulls" off in a most grotesque way. With this genre it probably rates pretty high.

Croc! (2022)

Worse than you thought

[2/10 · 5 October 2022]

First: why is there a minimum text amount? There didn't use to be, and some movies don't require or deserve a long review.

In this case, there isn't much to say except please don't bother unless you're teaching a class on film and want an example with lots of flaws to point out. For this one, the genre only requires horrifying, bloody action sequences. Within ten minutes, which is how long I lasted with this one, it was obvious there's not going to be ny of that, or anything scary or funny, and really nothing to be gained here.

(Aside to the crew: Why?! You had to know how bad this was going to be and that you'd never want to claim it on your resume... no, not so bad it's funny, just bad waste of time and money. Mine too, which is why I'm not going to pull punches or even try to be polite.)

Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

Surprisingly awful

[1/10 · 4 October 2022]

There are enough reviews already, but I'm going to vent along with yall because the original was so well done and so smart, and it's completely ruined by this one-- so poorly done and so NOT smart.

I'm not going to bother checking, but it seemed obvious that this wasn't the original writer or director, and neither understood what made the first Jeepers movies great: namely, once you've accepted the premise and suspended your disbelief, the actions of the characters have to make sense and be believable. In Reborn they're WAY off, with too many mistakes to mention that make it more and more frustrating, as the whole time I'm thinking, "Why, why, WHY?"

Combined with terrible dialog, silly plot premises and sillier assumptions by the characters, this was a real disappointment and probably the end of this movie series' legacy. In fact, if you loved the first one, you might consider skipping this one because you WILL hate it.

Section 8 (II) (2022)

Jeez, so bad

[4/10 · 27 September 2022]

I'm giving this a 4 to be generous to the cast and production crew. Excellent job as usual.

In fact everything about this story is the usual: a military acquaintance; a plot that becomes more senseless each scene; long, long flashbacks to show the hero's emotions; hand-to-hand attacks during gunfights;and plot inconsistencies that give the impression that a producer's 15-year-old son wrote a script and Dad decided to encourage him... and had the bucks.

Verdict: AVOID. Despite the cast and production quality, I found this movie completely forgettable and an unfortunate waste of time, even though I fast-forwarded through all the my-dead-wife-and-kid-poor-me scenes.

Bandit (2022)

Well done bank robber movie (not a Mel Gibson film)

[7/10 · 25 September 2022]

Mel Gibson has a small role (he's great but his recent movies have been really low B-minus) in this 80s bank hiest story starring Josh Duhamel, Elisha Cuthbert, and Nestor Carbonell, all of whom do a great job. The plot is a bit bland and too drawn out, but made more interesting with its great cast, fairly realistic scenes of robberies in pre-internet Canada, and the impression that it's a true story (I don't know if it actually is). If you like bank robber movies, this one is pretty fun and well produced. Not much violence, sex or bad language, so it's a good family movie if you need to be saved from a reality show or (argh) a Hallmark movie.

Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

Good but lacking a critical key

[6/10 · 23 September 2022]

I loved this cast, each as annoying and unadmirable as the next, all well played. The story and plot were good with an excellent ending (that somehow not everyone understood, apparently). The most important two parts of this kind of movie imo is that it keeps you guessing and re-guessing who the murderer is, each with a possible psychotic motive, and surprises you in the end. They did those critical things perfectly, along with thoughtful and believable dialog.

On the other hand, they missed another key factor in that the action itself didn't make sense; the behavior wasn't at all appropriate most of the time (as is usually true for this kind of movie), the most preposterous of which was the group splitting up and wandering around alone in the dark after their friend is apparently murdered by one of them. Those scenes seemed like half of the too-long runtime, and weren't anything exciting or creative, though overall well shot and edited. I also give it another point for not having the usual boring, unnecessary sex scenes.

If you like a whodunnit movie that makes you guess wrong and surprises you, I strongly recommend it.

Last Light (2022)

Well produced but weak on details

[6/10 · 9 September 2022]

This is a family-friendly disaster thriller (i.e., no sex or foul language to complain about but there is violence and murder). Not really sci-fi, although it IS a science-based story with a scientist as the protagonist.

A top notch production as far as camerawork, sound, acting and editing. Not sure who to blame for the boredom - director or producer - but the story drags as we divert from the plot to irrelevant scenes, apparently for character development but maybe just for filler, as they decided on a miniseries rather than the movie it probably should have been.

The idea at work is familiar: pollutants of civilization versus climate/environmental extremists, in which we have the justification for the bad guy and get to decide if he's right. The problematic bits seemed unnecessary, such as cars exploding (why? Nope), and urban anarchy (the whole world's oil supply?? Nope). Instead, we could've seen more of the inside of world governments (rather than, and to know what's going on is Cleveland (for example), not just Paris.

Maybe the most interesting part is where it leaves off: the world is going to be different. I admit I loved that visualization.

Me Time (2022)

Less entertaining than expected

[3/10 · 29 August 2022]

You'd think when these two make a movie it'd be worthwhile, right? S'not. Most of it seems like two aging movie stars hanging out in scenes that they somehow think are funny but aren't (and which have nothing to with any plot), but Wahlberg and Hart act like they're in the same old folks home as Steve Martin and Martin Short, thinking that think the same humor and antics from the 1900s will still get laughs. This is a lazy, laugh-track level comedy and I'm embarrassed for both of these excellent actors. Unmemorable and not recommended unless you have to find a movie to kill time with your girlfriend's parents.

Dead Zone (2022)

An unimaginative mixup

[4/10 · 26 August 2022]

I've seen all this before... imagine low-budget versions of Halo, Doom and Resident evil combined. Voila, a moneymaker without anything new. Not recommended unless you've somehow missed all those movies, in which case it might seem original.

Lie Hard (2022)

Don't bother

[2/10 · 21 August 2022]

We could see what they were trying to do here, because the scenes were all pretty much cliché, but it just didn't work. The script was pretty bad to begin with and the lead is an overactor, but the worst part of this movie is the editing; the timing is way off on parts that might have worked if not for the painfully long inappropriate pauses. Not recommended.

Kleo (2022– )

Good spy thriller in German in the Nikita tradition

[8/10 · 20 August 2022]

This was nice to run into and binge, a fun and well produced series (first 8 episodes) which are exciting but tongue-in-cheek, with humor showing at times and an interesting perspective on post-wall Germany and its political repercussions there.

4th Republic (2019)

Solid Nigerian political thriller

[7/10 · 17 August 2022]

It was great to see a major film production from Nigeria. While the language was choppy to me, it worked because the English spoken was pidgin, which covered or excused poor acting or timing, and worked most of the time. I thought the main actors were excellent. The story itself was good and, while it was drawn out over two hours, was realistic and still kept my attention. Being unfamiliar with Nigeria, it was culturally interesting too.

Prey (I) (2022)

Good Predator movie

[8/10 · 9 August 2022]

This is a sequel/prequel and part of the Predator movie set. It's well done imo and I can't tell why the low-score reviewers didn't like it other then the hero was female and tougher and smarter than the men. That was over the top Hollywood style, but it still felt authentic, and the special effects and exposition subtlety were spot on. I thought it worked well and I enjoyed it almost as much as the first Predator movie. Definitely a must see if you liked any of them- but even better if you haven't seen them! Good job, crew, thanks.

Sniper: Rogue Mission (2022)

One of the better action movies

[7/10 · 7 August 2022]

Better than I expected. Good cast, photography, editing and directing. Some humor; violent but no sex or excessive foul language. Recommended if you like crime/action movies.

The Most Dangerous Game (2022)

As bad as you'd guess

[2/10 · 6 August 2022]

...and worse than I thought it would be with this cast, which made me think there was something new or good about it. Nope, no creativity, no story, no excitement. Casper has no German accent to offer and the script was as if written by a high school freshman. Avoid avoid avoid.

Nope (2022)

Yes

[8/10 · 5 August 2022]

After seeing so many movies without a real plot or any imagination, I greatly appreciate original ideas, and this one was interesting and well done. I'd love a sequel (not likely asked on the surprisingly bad reviews here) that tells more and gets bigger. There could be many of them- a space flock- passing through our solar system with a feeding stop at Earth. Anyway, this movie is an absolute must for any sci-fi fan.

Bring Him Back Dead (2022)

We've seen worse, but not much worse

[3/10 · 4 August 2022]

Avoid! There's nothing new here, just old faces you recognize but can't think of their name because you never knew it. B action stars with slower action than ever, worse accents than ever (Luis!!! Why???), and more nonsensical story than ever. The impression I got was that the script came from a night of these guys of grasping for random story ideas to get some work and make some money over (cheap) beer, and one of them said he knows a guy that can spit out a script for them in a couple weeks. And they did, and it's ridiculable. Hopefully this is their last one.

Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (2022)

Not my thing but fun and so well done

[8/10 · 4 August 2022]

The first half is so boring! But necessary to set up the second half that pays off with a great ending of gratification and hope. I appreciated the attention to production details, especially the audio which, though the music is not my style, was flawlessly produced. This could be a fun movie for just about anyone, even a guy like me who thinks the fashion world is useless and silly... the story transported me to a world where it mattered to someone, revealed its artistry, and made it relevant.

The Modern Way (2022)

Needed some work

[3/10 · 17 July 2022]

Not a bad setup but a common plot without explanation of the motives behind behavior, e.g., why one character sold drugs, why the dealer (the one excellent performance) had the problem with getting his money on time, why the hero had a hero complex, why he had the distractingly weird fake hair that makes it hard to take him seriously... so much left out from the character development, and none of them is likeable. I couldn't really appreciate the nonsensical divide between the "Mods" and Rockers either... as if any one of them was modern (nah not really), or as if that's some kind of fixed rule everyone there knows. Not much to redeem this one: A producer wanted to play the hero so he made a low budget action flick pretending to have some kind of insight but struggling to create a story with genuine conflict or motive.

The Sea Beast (2022)

Excellent

[8/10 · 10 July 2022]

This is a fantastic movie for all ages. While oversimplified, this kind of story can only be so complex to work as what it is. I thought the animation was especially well done, because capturing the physics of the ocean, ships and objects together is super tricky. The girl's voice didn't really work for me (too young maybe) and some of the dialog could've been better,, but overall this is very entertaining moment to moment. Nice job!

Moonhaven (2022)

Nonsensical storyline

[3/10 · 9 July 2022]

The cast is great. Being "woke" isn't the problem. It's a silly concept that doesn't make any scientific sense at all. If the SCIENCE isn't thought through, it's not scifi. It's fantasy. The entire premise that living on the moon would develop AI better or that it would somehow save the Earth or change society's behavior is too dumb to discuss further imo. The religious part is barf... and the police uniforms? No excuse.

Rubikon (2022)

Good story

[7/10 · 8 July 2022]

I get the impression that the low review scores are from viewers expecting space action... this isn't that kind of movie. This one requires some attention to follow the important decisions and the information that comes to light which changes the decisions... and the ironic consequences. I thought this was a thoughtful and successful storytelling.

Instant Karma (2021)

Don't buy the high reviews

[2/10 · 8 July 2022]

Not a bad idea but poorly executed. Bad dialog, bad script direction and bad acting make this very difficult to stick with, and it offers nothing new. Not recommended.

Green Ghost and the Masters of the Stone (2021)

Silly campy magic kungfu

[3/10 · 29 June 2022]

It's never good when the producer of an action movie is also the star- in this case a guy who's 50-something thinking he can play the brother of 20-somethings- but I watched this cuz Danny Trejo. Imagine Big Trouble in Little China but without good actors or a good script. The plot revolves around setting up supernatural fights, which themselves are well done, but there's nothing new or imaginative in this story or its characters. (Is anyone else tired of magic + kungfu movies?)