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seanster
Reviews
I Was Made to Love Her (2001)
"Double dutch jump is a cruel mistress"
Thus spake one of the coaches in this film. This documentary is about double dutch jump. I suppose everyone else has a sport why not schoolgirls or wannabe schoolgirls. From some paralell dimension come these jumping, bumping, pumping, switching, atheletes. Yes. Athletes. The statement "There are no good double dutch jump movies" is no longer true. Compelling viewing for any athlete who ever started at the bottom and rose steadily to the middle only to be crushed at the moment of truth.
I found the fact that an all boy team could crush a girl team in competition hard to accept. After all, the girls can kick and scratch and taunt, or seduce, infiltrate, and twist the boys to their advantage. Raised many questions, many more answers, certainly heaps of critique. A unique portrait inside a riddle wrapped in a rainbow colored jump-rope.
Novocaine (2001)
Almost there...
*some minor spoilers*
Novocaine has some original touches to it, but doesn't come through all the way by the end of the film. Steve Martin is good in the role though he isn't given many chances to really craft the role so much as emulate a thousand other "regular guy in trouble" types in the same situation. The voice over falls flat and only occasionally makes an appearance in the movie, making me think it was either an afterthought or greatly cut from its original length. There are some trying moments in this film, cliches you've seen a million other times (ventilation duct escapes), but if you stick around there's something frightfully funny or original soon after (who wouldn't want to shove their dentist into their trunk?). Helena Bonham Carter acts circles around everyone else with what she's given and I think that fact alone keeps the film from being completely typical. Editing and cinematography should also given credit for lifting this film from average to above average.
Forrest Gump (1994)
Stupid is this movie
On the plus side, I think I saw this movie for free, or at the most paid $1 for admittance when I was in college and it was shown in the campus theater. On the negative side is everything else, most notably the movie's lack of empathy for any of its character. Every character, not just Gump, is walking through this movie with no goal, no destination, and no clue, as to what the other characters are doing. Someone off-screen must've just shouted "move" over and over again, and then filmed the result. Gump goes here. Gump goes there. Sally Field says this. Sally Field dies. And so on. The reasons behind the historical footage inserts is not to prove it can be done but to distract one from realizing how badly the rest of the film had come together up until the inserts.
Anyone who cheers for this movie must also resemble a box of chocolates - flat, consisting of cardboard, and soon empty of their contents.
Dark Star (1974)
Much to admire
Genuine laughs and a concerned attempt at depicting long-term space travel make this movie work, just as Carpenter and Co. intended it to. As the crew searches for unstable planets to blow up (instead of intelligent life) they encounter not strange, new life forms but their own deteriorating sanity. Thats what you get without cryo-tybes: crewmen who forget their names, who isolate themselves from each other on a cramped ship so much that when they do meet they're almost strangers, muttering about events that happened years ago but seem like yesterday. As someone who'd seen hundreds of this genre, seeing the "seed" movie, still impresses, not on a nostalgic level, but in a way that comes off as fresh, innovative, and ultimately beautiful.
Dick Tracy (1990)
Eat this unholy coat of darkness
When people ask me whats the worst movie I've ever seen its this one. Its not even close to MST3k level riffing, or midnight viewing at a theatre, or even as Disney channel late night filler. The only time I've ever wanted to jump off a ride at Disney World (or Disney/MGM Studios in this case) was to grab Dick Tracey's jacket off the mannequin, rip it to shreds, and ram it down the tour guides throat saying "Eat this! Eat this unholy coat of darkness!!!" I've never been so mad at a movie, not even "Nutty Professor II: The Klumps" or "Flash Gordon". You want pretty colors and cinematography? Ain't here babe. Reviewers keep saying "oh, but its too look like a comic book", well, to me, its the color of a Gordito after several weeks in the sun. About as enjoyable too. Beatty wanders around this landscape jumping around and talking to his watch, himself, and occasional at the other actors, hoping someone will tell him what time the sequel will begin shooting. To be fair, I have only seen this movie once, but my pain threshold is that of a man, not a God.