Change Your Image
awesomekickball
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againReviews
Monster Grizzly (2023)
Wow...
A really low budget (and I mean reaaallllllyyyyyy low budget) animal b-horror movie. This is one of those films that seems to have been made a student film project or by a family-friend group with a member who had recently purchased a video camera and wanted to get some mileage out of it. Poorly made and poorly written. The CGI bear has less screen time than a kaiju in the Monsterverse and looks to have been quickly produced in blender. There is a single hilariously notable scene where a college student seduces an older cop, talking about how much of an alpha, primal male he is. It is very funny, and is of course followed by an awkward, simulated foreplay scene in a motel bedroom.
Fun when you have nothing better to watch.
Collapse (2015)
The worst?
A really bad movie, where things happen. The fog is not really a threat, and most of the movie is spent with the protagonists just sitting and talking to each other. They talk to the trees about how dumb they were for cutting them down and turning them into commemorative keychain trinkets or something. They talk about how they shouldn't name a baby they found. They talk about the crystal cube that the fog gave them. They talk about how some of them have superpowers. They talk and talk and talk and talk and then they all die and then at the end of the movie the main character talks to the physical embodiment of the fog and dies as well.
Solar Impact (2019)
Another grey zombie movie...
One of the zombie movies of all time, alright. Everything is grey. Colour, setting, set design, wardrobe. There are zombies, but this time they are radioactive zombies. Don't ask how the zombies created by intense DNA alterations due to solar radiation are simultaneously able to be "infected" and spread it (the radiation I guess? Maybe the gene alterations? Idk.) through bites and fluids, because asking that question would be dumb.
It's a zombie movie. They bite. They bleed. They bite people. They eat people.
We get the scene with the protagonists discovering that the infection spreads through bites. We get the random scene with the infected zombie baby. People die in their group and they mourn. Zombies get killed.
Zombie movie. Epic.
Boring.
Triassic World (2018)
This is the worst movie I have ever seen, bar none.
I have spent a lot of my free time watching bad horror movies. I have seen The Bloody Rage of Bigfoot, the Polonia Brothers films, and most of the cookie-cut, early-aughts, made-for-tv monster movies. This movie is worse. The physical reaction of confusion and anger this train wreck made me feel was honestly distressing. The plot consistently changes on a scene-by-scene basis, to the point where I was constantly distracted by what I was watching. A person will say something in one scene, and then say the exact same thing in the next, this time in a completely new set of circumstances with a completely different set of reactions from the other characters listening. I do not know how you can create this as a finished product, screen it, and then justify it and release it. I understand making a movie can be difficult, but this is nuts. I turned this movie off halfway through simply because of how it had me feeling. Following that, I watched the second half over a two-day period, broken up into multiple sections. This movie will, hopefully, be the only one that I will ever have to turn off due to quality.
Do not watch this movie.
Pitchfork (2016)
Painful...
I love bad movie, and this movie is just that. This thing has everything a masochist like me could love: atrocious line delivery, subpar acting, a poorly fleshed out story, bad editing decisions, random and terribly placed music overlays, a strange, choreographed dancing scene, and so, so much more. However, there is one major problem that separates this movie from fun-bad category and scooches it on over to the painful-to-watch category: the dialogue. Whoever wrote the dialogue was high on some sort of empathogen. Every single line is painful to listen to. It's all lovey-dovey and over-the-top happy, like something an NPC in a children's game would say. I half-expected there to be a line about "the real treasure was the friends we made along the way" or something. It is physically painful, to the point where I felt my stomach genuinely clench at certain points. You can really tell the writers wanted to desperately flesh out each and every character, but the attempt falls on its head due to absolutely piss-poor acting.
The Bloody Rage of Bigfoot (2010)
Awful
As an individual who watches bad movies constantly, I can say that this movie has no redeeming qualities. It isn't funny. It isn't so-bad-it's-good. There are so many flaws it's nearly impossible to count them all. I'll do my best.
The acting is awful, although this alone isn't anything special.
At a couple points, actors make mistakes. Instead of silently fixing them, or cutting and doing the scene again, they look into the camera (at the cameraman) and make a statement about their screw-up.
A lot of scenes are extremely long with virtually no cuts. Done well, this can be amazing. Done wrong (as it is in this case), the scenes slowly begin to unravel the longer they go on.
There is virtually no plot continuity. It seems as though the writer changed the story every time a scene was done filming.
Dialogue is awful and over-the-top.
Some of the "actors" playing background or secondary characters very clearly don't care in the slightest. They struggle to keep a straight face as they carry out actions or deliver lines.
Cleary very little planning was done for scenes, causing the actors and actresses to constantly repeat the exact same lines of dialogue over and over again.
Last, and quite possibly the most egregious sin of all, the movie is over 2.5 hours long. No horror movie, much less this piece of garbage, deserves that length of a run-time. The last time I was insulted by a movie's length this badly was when I watched the direct sequel to the original I Spit on Your Grave.
Night Claws (2012)
Way too much...
This movie tried to bring in a lot of plot points and twists and random, movie-cliché junk. It was as if it was trying to be multiple different movies whilst simultaneously failing at all of them. Not worth the watch.
A Zombie Croc: Evil Has Been Summoned (2015)
I just...wow.
This movie changed my life. It changed the direction of my life. Before I watched this movie, I was slamming shots back to back, day after day, week after week. Before I had the privilege to lay my eyes upon this masterpiece of cinematography, I had fallen into a deep, drug-fueled depression filled with endless mental darkness and horror. This movie brought me and my estranged father back together. This movie acted as the entertainment of my first date night, at which point the woman leapt into my arms and begged to marry me. I have no words to describe the immense beauty that this movie will throw out of your television and into your brain. This movie cured my problems. It could cure yours, too. It think it is a crime that you could watch this for free on Tubi, right now. Go watch it. Please. For the sake of humanity.
Shark Lake (2015)
What is the cop's problem?
I enjoy low-budget movies. Especially ones that involve sharks. But seriously, I cannot get past how arrogant and pompous the main cop woman is. She somehow adopts this kid while her father is in prison, then freaks out about him wanting to see his daughter. She then breaks into his house, gun drawn, attempting to find dirt on him. Like, are we supposed to be rooting for this woman?
Initiation: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 (1990)
Halloween 3 but bad
This is like the third movie in the Halloween series. It bares no resemblance to the to the other films. Unlike Halloween three, which was preplanned into what was supposed to be an anthology series, this movie is very clearly a leap of desperation after the first film in their slasher series was meh and the other two were not any better. Also, unlike Halloween three, this movie has nothing to do with the holiday that the title represents.
An pretty bad movie by itself. Watchable, but bad. And do not get into this thinking that it is going to be another insane slasher sequel in this insane series, because it most surely isn't.
Elves (2018)
No
Terrible acting, terrible plot, terrible dialogue, terrible CGI. Absolutely atrocious. Nothing in the movie makes sense. The only thing I can give it is that it is more competent than the first film. It's not even original, as most of the plot is a complete rip-off of Truth or Dare (2018), just done way worse. The characters even acknowledge this fact.
Titans: Nightwing (2019)
This was so bad, it made me create an account here
Ok. Seriously.
1. They built up the deathstroke plotline until the last two episodes. Then, they just kill him? With two people? This happens out of the blue, and it feels as though they abandoned his plot in favor of Cadmus.
2. They went completely 'lax when it came to special effects. The scenes of gar's tiger form in this episode are made with b-movie quality, which was surprising, as the rest of the show seemed to put such pride into the effects.
3. Donna's death was unbelievably rushed, had no connection to the over-arching plot and made no sense. The scene where she is holding up the pole shows us that Dawn is nowhere near where it would hit the ground. Am I supposed to believe that the electricity was gonna ripple through the ground and hit her or something. Also, Donna takes a Super-boy punch straight to the face, but gets killed by electricity.
4. Again about Donna's death. Rachel, Super-boy or even Hawk (this would have at least made sense, as Donna was trying to save Dawn) could have stopped the pole. She didn't have to die.
5. Rachel leaves at the end to go to Themascyra because... plot? To an island of women where outsiders aren't welcome. Yeah. Sure.
I'm probably missing things in this God-awful finale, but those are the main points that annoyed me.
Edit: I also want to say, I extremely enjoyed the rest of the series. Some episodes were better than others (obviously) but overall the show was fine.