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noahjr
Reviews
Vivarium (2019)
Vivarium Defectum
Spoilers, many spoilers ahead. Should have been shorter and would have been better as an episode of Black Mirror. The cuckoo metaphor was heavy-handed and gave away too much too soon. The creep factor and surreality are perfect, I loved feeling "trapped" in this movie. I'm happy for the creators of this film if this is the exact movie they wanted to make, but I think the message would have been stronger if we were at any point given a reason to care about this couple. Watching the husband succumb to illness, in a scene very reminiscent of Samwise Gamgee asking Frodo if he recalls the taste of strawberries, I felt nothing but apathy. And maybe that's what I'm supposed to feel, maybe everything I felt was exactly what they wanted me to feel. But I didn't walk away thinking "Wow, that's a movie I want to see again." Honestly, my gut reaction was "That's not as clever as they think it is." But it's definitely a visually stunning movie that gets under your skin enough that you'd go on IMDb and leave your first movie review.
The Lost Symbol (2021)
Contrived, Formulaic, and Utterly Predictable
It's almost offensive how bad the acting is. These actors are giving us the least amount of effort possible. I feel like I'm watching a high school play where I suppose we should just be amazed they memorized the lines. Zero chemistry between actors. Zero suspense. Scenes are shot like absolutely no attempt was made to elicit an emotional response from viewers. Bland. Formulaic. Predictable. Saved By The Bell demonstrated more gripping storylines. If you enjoy this show, good, I'm glad you get something out of it. But I'm terribly sorry that you need your mysteries spoon fed to you by a D-Grade cast and crew who are completely out of their depth.