phildeesnow Reviews

Possessions (2024)

Have a cow man!.

[2/10 · 6 May 2024]

Heavily influenced by the 80's classics like The Shining, Cujo and The Exorcist this movie shows up in 2024...this raised many questions, specially...Why?.

And where did all The Simpsons money go?, I mean, you have to be pretty desperate for money to agree to do a movie like that. Obviously I'm talking about Bart Simpson himself in one of the worse characters a horror movie could have had. A psychologist who covered up an exorcism gone bad and under the suspicion of another one, immediately tried to send the kid to a mental institution.

Don't be fooled by the title, it's referring to the possession of belongings in a storage facility, because the only attempt for an exorcism is done off camera in plain daylight. No possession, nothing to see here.

Arcadian (2024)

Twinks not twins

[5/10 · 1 May 2024]

Yeah, it's like everyone else is pointing out a little bit like A Quiet Place, for me with some Bird Box and since we are adding to the mix, let's put some Critters...yes, the rip off of Gremlins from the 80's, and why not?... the shaky camera work that made people sick on The Blair Witch Project. So, it lacks originality and it's slow and full of holes.

If this are not spoilers, you might want to know that the creatures are like a platypus, body of a scabies ridden dog, with an alligator face depending on the angle, because it also looks and act like the Babadook.

CGI is as bad as you can imagine it would be, but not as bad as Nicolas Cage's wig.

The twinks are cute, but there's no way they could be related even though they are supposed to be twins.

Enjoy.

Argylle (2024)

No to CGI

[1/10 · 14 April 2024]

Sorry but NO, even actors should intervene and say hell no, it's ruining their careers.

CGI upsets more and more people every day, I'm glad I'm not the only one, bad CGI is a turn off, and there's no explanation why they would rather rely on CGI than do it with stunts or practical effect rather than with a cartoon replacing the person.

It upsets me so much, I couldn't even finish.

If I want to see a blend of cartoons and people I would rather watch, Who framed Roger Rabbit? A hundred times than going into this atrocity.

I'm sorry for the actors...but, you know you can say No, right?.

Cats are awesome, why replace them with CGI?.

Griselda (2024)

The Hamburgler

[3/10 · 2 April 2024]

I don't know who did the casting for this, but definitely the real Griselda Blanco was closer to look like the Hamburgler than Sofia Vergara with all that horrible make up.

I know that something is wrong with a movie or series, if by half way through I'm here writing a review after reading all of them. I agree with everything expressed by the low ratings, so I'm not going to repeat that.

I just hope Andrew Lloyd Webber gets the itch to to a musical based on this, since Netflix glorified a real life monster and made her look like Evita.

The best thing was to hear Karol G, without autotune. And it was good because she is barely in it.

Molli and Max in the Future (2023)

Weird, but good weird

[9/10 · 27 March 2024]

I can't give it the whole 10 stars, because, if there's something that I can't stand almost as much as my tinnitus it is, jazz lounge music...I could put it in the same list as babies crying in airplanes, cats in heat and overly happy parrots, and there's a lot of that music in this movie. Actually I think the whole soundtrack is jazzy music. Other than that it was awesome.

Put in a blender, Futurama, When Harry met Sally, and one of the best written sketches from Saturday Night Live and you'll have this movie.

There are so many kinds of humor, but in here you're going to find the intelligent kind, no rudeness, insult, stupid slapstick or dark. It's just clever and silly, just the way we feel when we are in love.

Imaginary (2024)

I don't get the hate!.

[9/10 · 27 March 2024]

Maybe just because I love Poltergeist, The Twilight zone: The movie, and A Nightmare on Elm Street saga, this movie brought me back to that time were it wasn't necessary to overload every scene with CGI or buckets of blood. I really enjoyed this one.

The whole concept of building characters has been lost over the years, and this genre has been bastardized by the likes of Terrifier... Winnie the Pooh, blood and honey, or The Nun.

Maybe it's because it was rated PG-13 and it doesn't have a ton of stupid, loud jump scares that today audiences didn't like it.

I love Betty Buckley no matter if she is singing or acting, I think she is awesome.

And the little girl can really act.

I took one star off, just because Chauncey reminded me of Ted... And that is not scary, or is it?.

You'll Never Find Me (2023)

Dollar store bin for Australia

[1/10 · 23 March 2024]

At one point of this... whatever that was I saw, I have to stop it and come here just to read the reviews and decide by myself if it was worth keep watching until the end.

I was kind of confused by the mixed reviews because they are in the middle... So I watch it until the end... Okay let me save you some time. The movie is all done in one trailer with only two people talking, talking and talking... talking and talking and talking so more, thunder and rain and you won't ever know what is going on... not even at the end.

There's no point in spoiling anything, because it is not worth your time.

It's utter crap.

American Dreamer (2022)

Why guys...why?

[2/10 · 17 March 2024]

I'm giving this 2 stars, for the "two stars," that's Peter and Shirley. My God I love, love , love Shirley, I'm a big fan, and I love Peter also... what I couldn't love, was this movie.

Obviously I was expecting something in the lines of their comedic or dramatic troupes, unfortunately it didn't happen and it was a huge disappointment.

The few moments of slapstick comedy were so obviously forced, that made me miss Blake Edwards and Peter Sellers. So I didn't laugh at all.

I think the problem nowadays is that everyone is trying too hard, and when it becomes obvious that everything is a copy of something already made (but better), it falls so flat that becomes annoying.

Becoming older, and the reality of death is a fact we could face in many ways...in this case, they finished the project as depressing. The only sort of funny line was the one about "past lives", a wink from Shirley, but it stopped there There's no emotions at all.

Sorry guys, this was a waste of talent and of my time.

Night Shift (I) (2023)

Predictable

[4/10 · 8 March 2024]

Being a predictable movie could be a good thing, if you are the "I told you so", kind of person when you are at the movies, that is...if your friends can stand you.

The thing here, is that everything has been seen in other movies, series, anthologies and that is because it's always entertaining.

Motels, Hotels, no matter how big or small, expensive or cheap have that creepy atmosphere that makes your imagination run wild, just thinking about what is going on next door, could be exhilarating.

This movie is not Psycho, or The Shining, but it's entertaining and fun to watch.

A lot of plot holes, but I liked it.

Monster (2023)

Yes...but no

[1/10 · 8 March 2024]

It kinda of annoys me that every year about this time, a big bunch of pretentious dramas pop out of nowhere, just to fit in the Oscars season. This movie is one of those.

I like good movies and even the entertaining ones. I don't care about the genre, it could even be a horror flick I don't care, so I watch mostly anything, but I can smell this type in the first 20 minutes.

Boring from the beginning and the plot was revealed as soon as they discussed the "monster being out"... As soon as I read (yes I'm not Japanese) "He is OUT", I got it, ran here to IMDB and I wasn't wrong.

Might be the only "1" in the ratings, but I found it boring and overreacted.

Amelia's Children (2023)

Why?

[1/10 · 8 March 2024]

Why they didn't use real twin brothers?... There has to be hundreds of twins who can act.

Why do they have to use wigs that seemed to be from Temu?.

Why if they dare to touch subjects like incest and cannibalism of babies, there's no nudity?.

Why do the mask that is supposed to be one of the biggest jump scares, looks like it was the item they needed to add to the Temu order in order to be delivered because the wigs were not enough?.

Why didn't they use a real actress instead of the very bad make up?.

Google actresses like Veronica Castro, Moria Casan, Nacha Guevara and many others that look worse than that after plastic surgery and they are available... Why?. It could have been so much better.

Freud's Last Session (2023)

Analize this...

[1/10 · 24 February 2024]

Sorry but what a snoozer that was.

I love Freud, I love Anthony Hopkins, I love taking naps...but obviously not during a movie.

One thing is slow paced, and I was expecting it since it is supposed to be a historical account of Freud's last session, it's in the title... right?. But, what I was not expecting was such lengthy dialogues about nothing relevant or engaging.

Let's get in a positive note here, if you don't mind jumping from psychoanalysis into psychiatry, this movie would be the equivalent of Zolpidem aka Ambien.

Take as directed, only when you are ready to go to bed.

Now I can say that I slept with Anthony Hopkins.

The Palace (2023)

Not Blake Edwards for sure

[1 February 2024]

I thought that the movie was building up to something good, a lot of characters with different stories and I keep wondering if it was supposed to be funny because nothing made me laugh.

It kept on building nonsense, but I kept hoping for the punch line. You know, Blake Edwards style when all of the sudden everything gets tied up into a slapstick hilarious mess.

More than an hour into the movie I realized that, this was as good as it gets. Not a comedy, not drama... nothing!. But I watched it until the end just curious to know how they would fill the plot holes, and the movie ends just full of plot holes.

A dog fu**** a pinguin on the back... The End.

The Prince of Egypt: Live from the West End (2023)

NO, JUST NO!.

[3/10 · 17 December 2023]

I gave it a 3 stars rating just because, the mapping on the LED screens was good, also the lighting was nice.

That's about it. I didn't like anything else.

The costumes sucked, the casting sucked, the added songs sucked, the creative licences sucked... I'm a big musical theatre fan, and I was hoping to be baffled and I was incredibly disappointed.

The " burning bush" and the opening of the sea were the stupidest staging I've seen. I don't understand why they didn't use anything magical and went the way of more choreography and interpretative dance.

The costumes were so modern that only highlighted the inaccuracy in everything else.

Honestly I was bored to sleep.

Read the other reviews...

May December (2023)

So slooooow...

[1/10 · 12 December 2023]

I didn't know anything about the movie, as soon as I started paying attention, it came to mind the infamous case, that, since it happened it became so well known that we saw everything on the news, or in subsequent documentaries.

But since I like Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore, I kept on watching.

I was surprised but the male protagonist and his huge talent, I mean it's so big that it's worth a second view. Just to make sure that it's real talent and not some fake or CGI. Congratulations Mr. Melton, i'm guessing it's real, and good luck at the Oscars.

For the rest of the movie, yeah, it was boring... sorry.

Nada (2023– )

Beautiful piece of crap

[1/10 · 10 December 2023]

Yeah, the one star is because it's beautiful cinematography wise. The is pointless.

Fortunately enough it was short as a regular movie, if you put all the episodes together, but even if it was a movie it sucks anyway.

You might not understand why do I differ so much from other reviewers, and if you analyze the orthographic mistakes you will understand. Obviously are written by people that for one reason or another are bias to the production. I'm Argentinian, and cherish the photography, but this series don't make me proud at all.

We know that Robert De Niro did this almost as a favor, collecting only few millions, instead of his regular pay. And that's lovely, and something I don't really care.

For those who know the actors, I can't believe how bad the acting was. Total cringe.

Was the story worth it?.

There's is no story.

Still trying to figure out in what category this would fit... It's nothing.

Family Switch (2023)

It's Christmas you'all!.

[9/10 · 2 December 2023]

Okay, we all know what this movie is about even before the movie starts, right?. So you might raise your eyebrow thinking...here we go again... I know I did, until the characters in the movie made the joke about themselves, and the other movies like this One, That's when I realized they knew what they were doing. And it was funny.

Of course it's a fantasy, it's a Christmas movie don't expect this to become the next Home Alone, this won't become a classic... But I'm sure it's going to be a movie to watch when you are already fed up with Die Hard, which I consider one of the best Christmas movies ever.

This one is cute, heartwarming and funny.

Some of the CGI sucks, but it doesn't matter here.

It's a Wonderful Knife (2023)

Merry Christmas everyone!

[8/10 · 2 December 2023]

With a very strong influence from Wes Craven' s Scream, came this cute supernatural slasher.

It has a little bit of everything in a slasher and also in a Christmas movie, but having a weird result, with a weird feeling by the end.

I'm pretty sure that by this time next year I won't remember anything about it. Maybe I'll remember the feeling of watching it and thinking: It wasn't original, but it was cute.

It's not a waste of time by any means, but it's just meh... I didn't hate it, I actually liked it... But... yeah... Watch it, and you'll see what im talking about.

Or watch Scream instead.

Bad CGI Gator (2023)

Bad CGI and everything else

[1/10 · 2 December 2023]

Yes, the title didn't lie, there's a bad, very bad CGI gator, but there's also bad... But very, very bad everything else.

I watched this crap thinking that they would do a comedy or a parody of some sort, hell no!... It wasn't funny at all.

Not even to say, it's so bad is good. This is so bad that it's irritating.

I think that this current generation is so used to TikTok, Instagram and others like that, that trying way to hard is now the norm. There's no struggle or even care.

The mentality is... So what?... I do what I want, so what?. They tried to sell this as comedy just because someone realized that nobody would believe this was for real.

The Shepherd (I) (2023)

Agony

[1/10 · 2 December 2023]

How can a movie so short could be so boring and predictable?.

This is one of those moments in life when usually a policeman tells : " Nothing to see here", well in this case it's the absolute truth.

It's sad to grow older and see the decay of your idols, it happens when we see our parents get sicker as they age, a beloved pet, or even a withering plant. That's how I feel about Disney and if this is what is coming it's a clear indication that is giving the last few gaps for air.

Leaving the metaphor aside, this sucks, but not a regular suck, it sucks big Epcot center's giant balls.

Peeeee... Time of dead...

Genie (III) (2023)

Loved it!.

[10/10 · 25 November 2023]

I just found out that this was a remake, never heard of the original, but I doubt I'm going to love it as much as I do this one.

This movie is everything that's good about Christmas movies. ( Just one minor detail, but it happens in most of them. The fake snow!.... But I rather have fake snow on the floor than crappy CGI).

I love Melissa McCarthy, I guess because it seems like she is always improvising in a way that acting is believable and not a repetition of something rehearsed.

For one moment I was afraid it would take the known route of the I dream of Jeannie typical screwball comedy, I which every wish would turn into a disaster. But this was not the case. It was delightfully funny and heartwarming as you might expect from a Christmas movie.

Marry Christmas and blessings to you reading this.

The Creator (2023)

Loved it, I didn't get it.

[8/10 · 23 November 2023]

Remember no so long ago, when movies were so dark that you couldn't see a thing, and it was a way to conceal CGI?... Well they found a way and it's called grain. Yes, grainy is the new dark, and I'm happy for it. The movie looks and feels great.

I don't get the comparisons to Star Wars, or Blade Runner, yes it's sci-fi and has robots on it, other than that and few shots done on similar ways, it has nothing to do with those I mentioned.

I don't know if maybe it's me, but at one point I got so confused that I couldn't understand the end at all.

I guess I'll be waiting for someone smarter than me, to explain it on YouTube, fortunately on the near future... because, we are nearly there.

Dicks: The Musical (2023)

Not because I'm heterosexual like them.

[10/10 · 19 November 2023]

It has been such a long time since a movie makes me laugh out loud as many times as this one.

What a pleasure!.

I didn't want it to stop.

Amazing cast, amazing songs and music. Perfect!.

But a warning... it's not for everyone, specially by the end.

I hope they would turn it into a real show, and I can predict a total success as it was 'The Book Of Mormon"... (It's in that vein... I'm not spoiling anything). But, if you love Will and Grace, and you know Natan Lane and Bowen Yang, you know what I'm talking about, and you are going to love it as much as I did.

Leave your prejudice aside, relax and enjoy it as if getting a b.j... big joke, that is...

Please Don't Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain (2023)

Loved it!.

[10/10 · 19 November 2023]

What a pleasant surprise!.

I don't really know anything about this guys, other than I've seen them on Saturday Night Live, so I was delighted when I started laughing as soon as the movie starts.

Making people cry could be easier, just because we all cry for the same reasons. But, comedy is relative, and if you want to make someone laugh you'll have to pick the audience and be careful how to tickle your pickle.

When you make the right combinations of silly, dark, slapstick, irreverent and you find the exact proportions you have the recipe for success.

This kids found the perfect amount of everything that is good.

This is not only good, it's excellent!.

Hope to see more of this talented group.

The Pope: Answers (2023)

No holds barred!. The one good thing.

[4/10 · 18 November 2023]

I don't know if I should do this in Spanish or English, but I do want to give my humble point of view. Not even an opinion... I was expecting something moving, spiritual, inspiring and I didn't get any of that. Being catholic, I imagine that Pope Francis would take the answers to a more Godly field, that didn't happen either. There was no mention of God or the devil, or even the idea of evil in the world.

I wasn't expecting a debate, but something touching, and that didn't happen at all.

Could have been a documentary, but in the pursue of being edgy they took the "reality show" approach of editing, and tho might be more relatable to young people, left off the solemnity of the Catholic church.

The whole thing was purposely staying away from being religious, and it became a one sided political chat, on favor of the youngster's point of view.

Too, " on the nose" about the producers line of thinking, and the agendas they wanted to push.

By the way, he is the representative of God on earth, hey producers, a little more respect with details. It's your movie after all.

It has some cute moments, but that's about it.

I love Pope Francis, I wish he would agree to do something better next time.