Change Your Image
Nanosecond
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againReviews
The D Train (2015)
A peculiar film with huge laughs and huge cringe
I went into this film vaguely remembering the trailer and having a gist of what the premise was about. I think that's the best way to go into this film if you have any chance of enjoying it because there's a dark comedic turn that happens close to the halfway point (which I WILL NOT reveal in this review) that may either have you on the edge of your seat anxiously waiting to see how this turns out or it may catapult you out of your seat and out of the theater shaking your head in disdain. I was obviously in the category of the former.
The action centers around a 20 year high school reunion in Pittsburgh being championed by Dan Landsman (Jack Black), a husband to his housewife Stacey (Kathryn Hahn), and father to his teenage son Zach (Russell Posner) and newborn. It becomes clear early on that Dan craves attention and respect--mostly from the wrong people--and sees that the best opportunity to get both is by pulling off the biggest and best high school reunion he and his reunion committee members can offer. But first they have to get their fellow graduates to attend. After viewing a late-night TV commercial which features a handsome former classmate Oliver Lawless (James Marsden) advertising sunscreen spray for men, Dan conjures up glorious visions of himself and Oliver bursting through the high school reunion doors, high-fiving classmates, knocking down shots, and being the life of the party. Surely that would give him sweet solace from his ho-hum existence as a consultant at a small town consulting firm, one where his luddite boss Bill Shurmur (Jeffrey Tamor) shudders at the thought of 21st century technology so much so that he still uses rotary telephones, old landline dial-up internet connections, and refuses any technological upgrades that could help his flailing company attract the business it so desperately needs. Dan messages Oliver in his best "bro language" that he'd love to meet up with him in his hometown of Los Angeles at Oliver's convenience. Without even waiting for a reply from Oliver, Dan puts into motion a small lie to his wife and boss that he must fly out to Los Angeles for business to land a prospective customer with a huge portfolio. In reality, it's just a random L.A. business firm he looked up on Google and the first person who popped up, Kent Drazen, is the big kahuna that can supposedly save Shurmur Consulting from possible bankruptcy. When Dan's boss insists he meet Drazen face-to-face with Dan to seal the deal, the small lie is immediately blown to epic proportions which Dan meets head on with seasoned, silver-tongued delight. The charade continues when they land in L.A. and Dan receives a reluctant call from Oliver who hems and haws his way into having drinks with Dan at a local bar. They quite awkwardly but naturally hit it off and have a night on the town drinking and drugging which leads back to Oliver's apartment...and then that's the halfway point I was talking about earlier.
This film is refreshingly bizarre. Up until the halfway point reveal I despised Black's Dan, a narcissistic loner whose misguided attempts at popularity had strained his relationships with his reunion committee members, his sexually-curious son and his loved but neglected wife. But after the reveal, Dan selfishly tries to abort his grand scheme at every turn to no avail, ultimately making me eager to see him get his comeuppance, which does happen at the hands of Marsden's Oliver in the most heartless of ways. Oliver is no better. As a washed up actor who had a brief glimmer of success with a national commercial, Oliver loves to sit on the pedestal Dan eagerly offers at every turn, so much so that when Dan comes clean explaining the reason why he met with Oliver was only to try to convince him to come to the reunion, Oliver doesn't hesitate at the chance to be lauded and applauded again just as he was in his glory days. The film gives us two characters which we should hate--and do throughout the entirety of the film for numerous reasons--but still we want to stick around and see how their story plays out and, boy, does it play out in disturbingly bizarre ways you won't see coming which will have you laughing and cringing at the same time.
This is Black's third best performance following Bernie and School of Rock. Marsden is quite believable as the slacker actor. I'd love to see him do more dark comedy. Both actors play off each other well and I wouldn't be surprised to see them in future material. This is not a "must-see now in theaters" film. You can wait until Netflix or cable. But it definitely is a must-see. I wouldn't have believed it after watching the generic trailer but it offers up something different for your humor palate. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
6 Years (2015)
Nice film that's too shy about its own material
I went into this thinking it was going to be another Like Crazy (2011) which I absolutely enjoyed: a drama that naturally documents the highs and lows of a young couple's relationship. 6 Years (2015) borrows heavily from that film's style but lacks any of its substance which is quite disappointing since it has adult material waiting to be explored but is simply poked and prodded and never turned over.
Dan (Ben Rosenfield) loves Mel and Mel (Taissa Farmiga) loves Dan. It's that simple. They've been together for 6 years to the surprise of their friends and colleagues given that they're only in their early twenties. All is well as we're shown a rosy glow, summer montage of Dan and Mel making love, riding bikes, frolicking at the beach, eating ice cream, and hanging out with friends at a BBQ party. After a hard night of partying and drinking, Mel gets into a drunken, irrational fight with Dan and shoves him into a dresser, cutting the back of his head. This serves as a foreshadowing of bigger fights to come, all of which show cool-headed Dan becoming the unlucky foil to Mel's rage. There is a subplot with Dan trying to decide whether or not to take a job in New York, away from Mel in Texas but that only serves to put stress on the relationship and highlight Mel's sudden and, mostly, undeserving mood swings.
The film's attempt at trying to study domestic abuse from the perspective of an abused male is noteworthy but becomes annoying when it is clear the filmmakers have no intention on exploring the matter further. The story suffers for it and, unfortunately, so does one of its actors. Taissa's performance really shined in the small, subtle moments when she was doting on her boyfriend, discussing/defending her long-term relationship amongst friends, or expressing remorse for her actions after fighting with Dan; but when it came to pulling off the big outbursts she either couldn't fully commit or couldn't go to a dark enough place in order to convincingly pull off the performance. I think it was because she needed more background information on her character, just as much as the audience needed it. We get glimpses of Dan's supportive mother which gives us a cursory explanation for his laid back, cool-headed, rational disposition. But we're never shown Mel's mother. She remains a mystery just like Mel's quick tendency to lash out. Not many films realistically show a natural progression of domestic abuse, particularly from a male's perspective, so it was quite disheartening when it seemed this film was too shy to go any deeper into the topic of its own adult material (which even includes an "almost" rape scene!).
All in all, it's still a nice film that's beautiful to look at and listen to. The film is wonderfully shot in a clear, crisp yet hazy white glow highlighting both of its stars attractive features and scored with nice indie tracks masquerading as 80's synth pop. In the end, 6 Years will have you ready to break up with it but wondering what could have been. Skip the theater and check it out on Netflix or cable when available.
Walk of Shame (2014)
No. Just...no.
I just...I can't. No. Just...no. Stay far, far away from this wretched film. I could only endure this film 10 minutes at a time. I couldn't finish it all in one sitting.
From a producer's standpoint this film should have worked since you have solid talent with comedic backgrounds (the majority of the cast is made up of actual stand up comedians) but their talent is covered in a smelly goo of bad set ups and punchlines and a ridiculous plot where the protagonist's goal of becoming a middle tier level news anchor is not even worth the journey.
Do yourself a favor and stay far away. This film is toxic to your comedic health.
Non-Stop (2014)
Book the flight. Enjoy the ride. (mild spoilers)
I've never played poker but I'd assume a good tell (or bad one...depending on whose perspective) is when a player grips his cards a little too close to his chest. We know that when a director flashes a character on a screen for a nanosecond (/clear throat\) that's probably going to be someone we want to remember later on. Although Non-Stop gives it's tell very early in the game, it is still worth the fantastic ride.
The cast is solid. Liam Neeson gives us more of what we've come to expect in his latest winning streak resurgence of action hero roles and he doesn't disappoint. Julianne Moore, although wonderful in coloring grey in her character's allegiances to Neeson, seems to have been added to the project from a producer's desire rather than from a story's necessity. Not to mention Lupita Nyong'o and Michelle Dockery who acted as beautiful mannequins on vacation from their more demanding roles from which they're popularly known.
Although the plot holes abound which leave you smirking in action thriller cynicism, the pacing of the ever-increasing threats more than makes up for it. The director did not waste a second in getting right to the point: a hero is framed for a hostage crisis. We are reminded of this fact every 20 minutes (story time, not real time) and the action heats up to a boiling (or blowing) point which finishes with a chilling message about America's post-9/11 years that should satisfy even the most jaded movie-goer (/clear throat again\).
You may not remember Non-Stop months afterward but years from now you certainly will remember how good you felt. I couldn't tell you what happened exactly in Flightplan (2005), Executive Decision (1996), or Air Force One (1997) but I sure know they were entertaining films despite their faults.
Book the flight. Enjoy the ride.
The Double (2013)
A Novel Is Worth A Thousand Films
It's that time again. The time when Hollywood desperately walks into its nearest library searching for treasure troves to loot. This time the bounty is Fyodor Dostoyevsky's The Double. To be frank, I never read it but something tells me I would have had a better time reading about an introvert suffering a mental breakdown instead of watching one on-screen. Books allow us to open our imagination and create limitless worlds filled with the tiniest details with ease. The Double (2013) is charged with the same task but must overcome a tremendous amount of effort and trickery to achieve the same end.
--Spoilers past this point--
Case in point:
Meet Simon James (Jesse Eisenberg). Simon has a daily routine: he takes the subway to work; he carries a briefcase which holds his identification badge; he checks in with a salty security guard before taking an elevator to his work floor; he sits at his cubicle and efficiently completes his daily tasks (mostly computer work) before heading home and repeating the same routine each proceeding day. He regularly interrupts this routine with daydreams of a young female co-worker, a copyist (irony not missed) named Hannah (Mia Wasikowska), who he wishes to talk to and hopefully start a relationship with but can't quite work up enough nerve even to utter "Hey."
Meet James Simon (Jesse Eisenberg). James does not have a daily routine: we're unsure if he takes a subway to work, he just mysteriously appears; he doesn't carry a briefcase but it's not needed because he's good buddies with the security guard; he never sits at a desk, always a buzzing bee slapping co-workers on the shoulder and causing riotous laughs from groups huddled around him; he never does any work, in fact he doesn't even know what they do at this corporation but that doesn't stop him from taking credit for Simon's work; and, yes, it should come as no surprise that he has a way with the ladies and Hannah is in to him.
It doesn't take a Russian novelist to notice that these two are mirror opposites of each other. In fact, they are not even two people but one person who is trying to reconcile his loneliness, isolation, and desperation for recognition through manifesting a split personality that he, and others, treat as a separate physical entity. Hannah (notice the palindrome) serves as the catalyst driving Simon/James to a very destructive, yet meaningful, end.
The symbolism abounds in this film and leaves audiences with a concussion after clubbing us in the head multiple times with cheap imagery and color cues, repetitive routines (yes, that was on purpose), and stilted dialogue that feels like it could have been lifted (or copied) from the original text. Not to say that any of that is bad in the grand scheme of things but sometimes what's good for the page doesn't necessarily translate well to the screen.
The technical aspects of the film were on point. The picture is drenched in a gorgeous greyish yellow and the soundtrack has a nice change of pace with some old Japanese cuts. Eisenberg plays well off himself and can rival Orphan Black's Tatiana Maslany by successfully portraying characters who look identical yet have extremely colorful and distinctive personality traits. Mia didn't have much of an arc to play with but then again it's not her character's movie.
Having recently seen Enemy (2013) and having been a long time fan of Fight Club (1999), I'm suffering from a fatigue of sorts by watching these schizophrenic protagonists go to war with themselves. It's time for me to take a break and crack open a book. "No, it's not." Yes, it is...wait...who's there?
Adoration (2013)
Howdy, Ma'am...I Mean, Mother...
I'm okay with watching a movie about selfish, sex-obsessed characters with no redeeming qualities whatsoever (i.e. Wolf of Wall Street; American Psycho) BUT it has to come from an honest place within the story and not a contrivance the writer thought would be cool because it's taboo. Every moment, every beat of this movie is forced and it's a shame because Naomi's and Robin's performances are breathtaking but the journey their characters take lead them right back to square one. They learn nothing at the end and it seems the only reason this film was made was to get a rise out of audiences.
--Spoilers past this point--
Two best friends (who may or may not have gone past first base when they were little girls) grow up, marry, and have children. Now, I'm assuming they led a life in all that time. They dated boys during their teen years, had a vigorous sex life, settled down, married, had kids, and carried on with their professional careers. But the film sloppily fast forwards in time and shows the now 40-ish mothers on the beach ogling their sons surfing waves as if they've never seen them before or in a half-dressed setting. Maybe it would have worked for me if the mothers were bicoastal (however that works in Australia) and hadn't seen each other or each other's sons in years then maybe, just maybe, you could make the argument that they'd see the 20 year old sons in a different, more sexual light. But that's a big, hard, wet, tight maybe.
Surprisingly, the pacing of the film is great but the stilted plot overshadows it. Why is Ian so into Roz? Is it because he's still in grieving trying to get over the death of his father? Is it because he hates his mother Lil? Is it because he's trying desperately to mask his homosexual feelings for his best mate Tom? The film never hints at any of these reasons but I feel any of these options would have been better than what we are given...which is nothing. Ian's into Roz because the script says so and thus it must be.
It might be easier to answer why Roz might initially be into a Ian, a handsome young man, but after the one-night stand turns into a "relationship" we're never given her reasons for carrying on as she does. Wait, I forgot, we are given one reason...the script says so and thus it must be. We ARE given a valid reason why Tom sleeps with Ian's mom Lil: sexual revenge. And we are shown scenes with Lil at best rebuking Tom's advances and at worst hesitantly accepting them, but after their one-night stand it never makes sense why Tom continues with the relationship when Lil was never on his radar to begin with and he could easily sleep with any girl his age without even trying. Ian slips Roz sexual glances and flirts with her by sharing a cigarette right before they partake in their dalliance. This never happens with Tom and Lil. Therefore, I am left to presume Tom only meant to sleep with Lil because he wanted to get Ian angry and make him feel the same pain he felt. But, alas, Tom's plan backfires because he actually falls in (temporary?) love with Lil. Why? Because the script says so and thus it must be. In the end, what we are left with are two couples who can't see past their own genitals to recognize the pain they are inflicting upon their innocent children and spouses (aka insufferable, unforeseen, insignificant others).
I'm perplexed as to the reasons why the writer/director Anne Fontaine wished to make this film. Something tells me it was for "selfish" reasons. Maybe Anne was personally going through something and wanted to explore the end result through this fiction. I hope she found her answer because I certainly didn't.
3 Days to Kill (2014)
Take your chances. You have a 50/50 shot.
Maybe I should have seen it coming with the 50/50 poster. Maybe I should have seen it with the 50/50 writing credits. This movie has 50/50 written all over it and, no, I'm not talking about the 2011 film starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen but 3 Days To Kill could have learned a thing or two from that film considering the dark subject matter and light- hearted jokes.
--Spoilers past this point--
Kevin Costner stars as an over-the-hill but still bad-to-the-bone CIA operative with a stuffy nose and light cough that lands him on his back nearly the entire film (wow, after a certain age Hollywood really kicks you when you're down). He is told by his doctor he is suffering from brain cancer which has now spread to his lungs and he only has 3 months to live. To pile it on even more, a CIA representative passes along the news that they no longer need his services. What else can a sick and retired Jack Bauer-esque type man do at such a low point in his life? Ah, yes! Reconnect with your ex-wife and estranged teenage daughter before you kick the bucket. When his ex leaves town for work for 3 days, Costner's character has time to spend, or kill, with his daughter hence the movie title's pun.
So far, so good, right? Well, it would have been had the film focused on picking its tone instead of Amber Heard's next crotch shot. (tangent alert) Yes, I am a red-blooded male and this film made even me roll my eyes at the over-the-top sultriness of Heard's character. She is supposed to be a covert CIA operative in Paris but stands out like a sore thumb...a thumb with Victoria Secret catwalk-ready hair, fire truck red lipstick, and tight, black leather (sometimes latex) dresses. We're never informed why she dresses this way, or why she talks and walks like Jessica Rabbit with a cigarette in hand, especially when the first scene of her in the movie has her looking like Clarice Starling's younger sister. Is she a double agent working with the bad guys? Does she have an incurable shopping addiction? Is she moonlighting at the Red Light District? Your guess is as good as mine. (tangent ended)
We're never quite sure how to feel about this film since the mood is all over the place. Is the film supposed to be a raucous comedy where the bumbling action hero dad goes through every tired cliché of bonding with his hormone-raging teenage daughter? Or is it an action thriller where the aging Rambo goes after the not-so-mysterious-after-all generic terrorists named The Albino and The Wolf? The writers never seem to mesh the two ideas/genres together cleanly and it shows. Did they work separately and then staple their two different scripts together? Something clearly got lost in the shuffle because we shouldn't be laughing during what are meant to be tense, action sequences nor should we be scratching our heads after a joke is uttered unless we know from the start what type of movie this is...which we don't and, clearly, neither do the filmmakers.
At least the main cast knew what time it was and brought their A game. Costner was in fine form as an American cowboy (the reference is thrown around numerous times throughout the film) but he is completely upstaged by the young Hailee Steinfeld who, given her age, is easily able to tap into an honest teenager's feelings of insecurity and resentment. Watching her grow as an actress will be an amazing thing to see in the next couple of years. Connie Nielsen was great but her character was lost in the background. What place can a character who is a mother over 40 have in a quasi action/comedy/thriller piece? Absolutely none so off the screen she goes and she doesn't come back until the climax. Typical.
Bottom line, you're either going to love this movie or hate it. The vague ending sort of leaves room (just a small ray of light) for a sequel so I guess if enough people love it the writers can get to work and start stapling up the next script.
Enemy (2013)
Where's Waldo?
Enemy must have been a nice acting exercise for Jake Gyllenhaal but for many, including myself, it turned out to be a puzzle I wish I never spent the time to solve.
This will remain a spoiler-free review but if I were to spoil anything...nothing would be spoiled for you, if that makes any sense. There's nothing original about the story. It's been done before in other films with better execution. The twist is something seen immediately from the trailer but when actually viewing the film that notion is quickly thrown away...until it once again is brought up again. The tediousness in maintaining vague outlines of the film's plot is something this review shares with this film.
The cinematography was spectacular and meshed well with the psychosis of the protagonist. The soundtrack was on point with harrowing melodies. The acting from the cast was strong considering there was very little to work with on the page and relied more on what was boiling inside a character instead of what skimmed the surface, a talent very few actors/actresses can pull off without seeming pretentious.
But with all that going for it, the sum of all its parts added to nothing. I liken it to a 90's kids' puzzle book "Where's Waldo?" where the object is to find bespectacled Waldo, who wears a distinctive red and white striped sweater and cap, among hundreds of other colorful characters and objects. In other words, find the needle in the haystack. Once done, you immediately get the sense of great accomplishment until you take a step back and realize the reality of the situation. Enemy was a nice looking puzzle with colorful characters but, at the end of the day, it's just child's play.
"Where's Jake?...Ah, found him!...now what..."
Black Box (2014)
What a shame. (mild spoilers)
On paper, I would assume this show had everything going for it. A somewhat strong cast (Reilly, Redgrave, and Fraser) and a unique story about a medical professional dealing privately with her bipolar disorder.
However, the execution is extremely poor. The writing is sophomoric and stilted, the plot lines are predictable, and the acting misfires every other scene.
I have a feeling the creator/executive producer had a very different script (hopefully better) than what was actually shot. It seems too many cooks were in the kitchen for this project and it suffered horribly for it. I can just imagine the meetings going like this:
"Homeland has a blonde female protagonist that's bipolar, let's make ours blonde." "Okay, I'll make sure Reilly dyes her hair. Reilly is English, isn't she? "Don't worry she can pull off an American accent." "Those manic scenes need to have jazz. Homeland has a lot of jazz." "Will do. How 'bout she dances wildly too while the jazz goes off in the background?" "You read my mind!"
The worst of it is the premise is faulty when this medical professional, a well-respected neurologist in charge of managing doctors and patients, regularly goes off her medication, sporadically visits her therapist, and when she does she always mentions having suicidal thoughts. She wouldn't be able to hold down her job, her reputation, or her boyfriend (err...fiance...they go back and forth) but in this magical world everything stays in tact.
This show takes itself way too seriously without putting in the work to earn that seriousness. It makes Grey's Anatomy look like the work of Shakespeare. It might have done better as a comedy a la The Michael J. Fox Show which wittily wrapped its serious topic of Parkinson's disease in a warm laugh. I hope the writers and producers get the flow of things and are able to land on their feet before (what looks like) the inevitable happens.