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7/10
A treat for the perverse
16 November 2022
I have to say that I have rarely derived such perverse pleasure from a film as from this little 60s Brit pot boiler. Filmed on a shoestring budget with acting that, at times, scarcely merits the term, this is deliciously dreadful.

Lead man Johnny, the nice boy who gets in with the wrong crowd, is played (if that's the appropriate word) by Spencer Teakle-a name with which to conjour. Mr Teakle has mastered the rare art of acting without any movement of facial muscles or variation in vocal tone,a rare talent only equalled in recent years by "greats" of the screen such as Steven Segal.

Johnny is in love with Sylvia (Dawn Brooks), who wears a dress split down the side while singing in a sleazy night club owned by gang boss Ricky(Martin Benson), who is probably the best thing in it, from an acting perspective :a truly unpleasant man, mean, violent, lustful, treacherous, lecherous.

After a botched jewel heist our hero, flees to a clip joint tun by Mary Dorinda Stevens) a lady who could be described as "no better than she should be".

Mary is sensuous, sexy, blonde, beautiful and treacherous. Just my kind of girl_and the main reason I kept watching. Her sister, Jean, played by Felicity Young, is the "nice girl", the sort your mum would like you to bring home-and, therefore, about as sexy as cold rice pudding.

Ricky's two hoods, however, steal the show when it comes to bad acting. Al(Alan Edward's) looks like he stepped out of a period sitcom, while Ted's (Larry Burns) attempt to sound tough during car pursuit, is a thing of rare beauty - sounding like someone trying to speak after a particularly unpleasant visit to the dentist.

A film of first takes (one would hope), with a script written in the pub the night before, plus a director who must been anxious to move on to something more worthwhile - like a soap powder ad-make this an unmissable treat.

Enjoy!
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Hell Is Empty (1967)
3/10
Entertaingly dreadful
10 November 2022
I watched this film in the summer of 69 whilst on holiday in the seaside town of Bournmouth.

It was the support feature to Carry On Camping and, in fact, my companions and I found it a good deal funnier. But, alas, not for the "right" reasons.

Rarely has such a talented cast been put to such poor use. Quite simply this is the corniest, most clichéd, wooden ly directed, direly scripted piece of tosh you are ever likely to encounter.

I urge you to see it.

Anthony Steel plays a gang leader with no redeeming qualities ;James Robinson Justice is the avuncular moral compass ;Shirley Ann Field is (as ever) great to look at, but given a role so shallow and lines so weak that one wonders what the film producers "had over" her, in order to get to participate in this rubbish.

Then Jess Conrad turns up as "good kid" who just got in with the "wrong crowd".

The court room scene in particular is worth enduring the rest of the drudgery.

An absolute scream and a must for all lovers cult tosh.
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6/10
It was OK till Sally
3 November 2022
Well scripted, beautifully set and with one of my favourite directors at the helm. What could possibly go wrong?

Well it was OK till Sally opened her mouth. Prior to that point the casting director had made sure that the films authenticity was maintained by casting actors who either were or could sound like they were from the British Isles.

Then came Sally.

"No money no Murphies"! She cackled.in a voice that could have come straight out of a Chicago Vaudeville hall. Which, in actual fact it did.

Having an Irish name is of no use when one's oppporal tones come straight from the Windy City Immediately, one becomes acutely aware of every trans Atlantic drawl.

"My faddah owners haff of Yorkshyer" From then on the only way is down!

Pity..
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8/10
Just wait till I get you home
25 October 2022
A number of (I presume, younger) reviewers regard this film with some distaste, citing dated regional and gender stereotypes.

I think that they need to relax a bit.

The film is a comedy that pokes fun on males, females, northerners and southerners alike.

Beautifully photographed and well acted, but really not to be taken seriously.

Two scenes stand out.

Firstly when the errant husband's return from their jolly in the capital and the wives await.

The camera pans along the coach as one by one the male passengers wipe the condensation from the window and view the reception committee.

Dramatic irony at its finest, followed by a wide panoramic shot as each emerging man is seized by the collar and frog marched away like naughty children, with the attending threat:Wait till I get you home!

The second is the scene later that day when Chayley proclaims to Ethel that Ruthin is the most "beautiful woman he has ever seen" ;followed by reassuring his fiance that She (Ruth in) is not for me. She is an ideal placed upon a pedestal.

One does not have to be Einstein to figure out what the reaction will be.

Enjoy John Gregson as the hapless Chayley, Diana Dors in her dazzling prime with great support from the ever excellent and sadly underrated Susan Stephen.

And wallow in world long gone.
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The Saint: Luella (1964)
Season 2, Episode 19
10/10
Bishops & stained glass windows
19 October 2022
A hugely entertaining episode, lit up by Sue Lloyd''s sultry, seductive sexy Luella.

The supporting roles are all more than competently performed by Ms Lloyd' s namesake actress and the permanently anxious David Hedison on a mission to marital disaster while the wife's away.

Enter Luella and immediately one is reminded of Raymond Chandlers quip in The Big Sleep, where a woman is described as sexy enough to make "a bishop kick in a stained glass window.

I watched the episode over breakfast and felt my temperature rise.

The marital spats between Hedison and Suzanne Lloyd were comic joy as the errant husband dug himself ever deeper into his self created mire.

Great fun.
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Mother Lode (1982)
5/10
Jock McHeston
1 July 2022
Why didn't someone ever tell Charlton Heston to stivk to playing great Gung Ho American lumps. He was so good at that. But then, he didn't really have to act.

This attempt at Caledonia represents a no low in a career littered with miscastings.

Exactly what kind of Scots accent is he trying to effect here?

Scotland contains as rich a variety of brogues as can be found anywhere in the English speaking world. From soft border tones, tough Clydeside, to gorgeous Highland gaellic.

Just curling your lip and saying laddie and lass every few phrases doesn't do it.

A farcical piece of junk.
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Blake's 7: Warlord (1981)
Season 4, Episode 12
2/10
Silly costumes, absurd love lines
4 December 2021
Series 4 was always a step too far and in fact was never envisaged by the series creators. The creaking spaceship is only matched by some the storylines that had all the qualities of something made up after an especially heavy night out.

This was by some measure the low point of the series, in fact the nadir of the entire project.

What else can we do with these characters? I know, who hasn't had a doomed romance yet? Tarrant hasn't?

So we get Stephen Pace tripping along with Zukhon's daughter, holding hands like a couple of 14 year olds.

Cringeworthy.

Meanwhile, the ambassadors gather in series of costumes that would have made Village People blush.

This episode, more than any other, revealed a project that was begging to be put out of its misery. As I said at the outset, series 4 was an afterthought. Something that someone thought was a good idea at the time. Rather like Operation Barbarosa.

A tragedy for such a fine show.
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1/10
Slick
29 September 2021
An impeccably executed, well constructed, beautifully played piece of ahistorical propaganda.

It follows in the Great Hollywood tradition of the Western, where the settlers are venerated as purveyors of civilization, while the natives are denigrated as savages.

Here little Isreal is seen as fighting for its life against the forces of darkness. Outgunned, outnumbered, yet ever resilient and valiant. Ultimately, victorious.

What was and is act of colonialisation of land and the ethnic cleansing of an indigenous people, is presented as a fight for independence.

Just like the American western.

A truly star studded cast is deployed to sell the lie.

I have no criticism of the production values, acting or direction. The action sequences are riveting. But it all a lie.

This film seeks to obscure from the viewing public one of the greatest crimes of the 20th Century. The injustice to Palestinians goes on Every one involved in this disgraceful deception should be thoroughly ashamed.
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9/10
Short attention span, then give it a miss
14 February 2021
I imagine that a significant proportion of the negative reviews for this film are coming from what could be termed the "popcorn Brigade". Having just watched the film on UK C4, I found it tascinating and a thoughtful portrait of Britain and its class structure post WW2. Those who found Faraday's reserve need to understand the notion of "stiff upper lip" drilled into our upper classes over centuries and, of course, therefore adopted by those aspiring to such status. Growing up in the fifties I came across plenty of these sorts of people, at such events as county fetes and cricket festivals. Abrahams on evokes a lost world. The film simmers and perplexes, leaving a sense of slight confusion. I couldn't get the events and characters out of my mind. Is that such a bad thing for an art work to do? It asked questions and made me think. To summarise, it was a gloriously under stated psychological thriller depicting a cast of damaged folks. Emotionally (Faraday), physically (Roderick), materially(the entire family) most sad of all, Ruth Wilson's character-her youth marred by war, her sparkling intellect suppressed by the times she lived in, her joy de vive destroyed by her mother's obsessive love for her dead sister. Even her beloved canine companion is taken away and in the end it was her I grieved for. The final scene depicting the emptiness of pyrrhic victory. Leaves you wondering if it was all worth it. Apparently for Faraday it was
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