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Scream (2022)
Too Full of Itself
Scream has always been very Meta. Or at least pretending it is by acknowledging horror movie cliches and tropes. But this one takes it too far.
"Stab" has been a thing in the movies for a long time and it's basically a retelling of the first movie within their world. They make all these jokes and mentions about it which is really just them commenting on the franchise. It seems smart but it just feels like a cringey Deadpool.
These aren't amazing movies but the movie wants to pretend it is. Keeps bringing up past movies like people care or pay attention. It isn't the MCU.
The first 15 mins is great. Then super boring for 45 minutes. Then tries to play on nostalgia but I don't care. Courtney Cox is annoying. Dylan Minnette is the king of crappy movies. David Arquette is a joke. Skeet Ulrich still looks like a crack addict. Jenna Ortega isn't a good actress. She's just trendy. Same with Jack Quiad.
Halo: Emergence (2022)
Put The Helmet On
It's at this point it really feels like it's not a Halo show. It's got the characters but it's ignoring a ton. They just liked the idea and wanted to make a drama. It's more Euphoria than Halo. Please put the helmet back on.
A lot of fans hate Cortana, but at least you got the voice of her. I still think you should have kept Chief's helmet on and gotten Steve Downes (the voice actor of Master Chief from the games) to voice Chief. Would have won more fans over.
This Kwan plot sucks and it's annoying. Helmet never stays on. So much drama. Race change for Miranda Keyes and Jacob Keyes. Not a big issue, but why? The Spartan silver team is cool though.
Halo: Unbound (2022)
Put The Helmet Back On
This second episode seriously sucks. The first was a decent start but this one really just went sideways. The took off Master Chief's helmet in the pilot. Shouldn't have done it, but if they were going to they should have saved it for the finale. This episode has a serious problem of him even wearing the helmet. He barely wears it.
And they need to drop this Kwan plot. No one cares. The first episode wasn't bad. It adapted the game decently. HUD right out of the game, Elites, nailed the armor, sound effects from the game. Decent start. But this episode is definitely where it started to do wrong. Went from Halo to a drama.
Halo: Contact (2022)
Decent Enough
Being a fan of the Halo games won't do you any justice on this show. It's going to ignore a lot. But it does do some things right.
The heads up display in the helmets is right out of the game. The sound effects too. The Master Chief armor looks great at times. Some fight scenes looks odd. The CGI is off. The Elites look a little odd too but then again, how do you make a fictional alien race look real? I don't know.
My biggest issue is all the drama. Multiple Halo games exist and none address the things this show does. And for proper reason, no one cares. We don't want the trauma and fallout of the Spartan program, we just want to see Chief killing Covenant. Fundamentally, this show just doesn't understand it's core audience. It's trying to be a drama when the fans want an action adventure.
A lot of people hate on it because he took his helmet off and it's just not something Chief does. It's been teased, but they take it off and barely keep it on later. We like not seeing it. If they wanted to do it, they should have saved it for the finale.
7/10. Decent enough start but it's just not what we fans wanted.
Moon Knight (2022)
So Bad I Couldn't Finish It
I want to start by saying I love Moon Knight in comics. I've read a ton of his stuff by multiple different writers. Different decades. I've seen him evolve and change. But this sucks. This is not Moon Knight.
They made significant changes from the source material. Personalities drastically changed. Skipped out on his buddy Frenchy. Skipped the long time love interest to shoehorn some new character in.
The Steven personality is so annoying. So little Moon Knight and I made it 4 episodes before I gave up. I was excited too because I love Ethan Hawke and they gave him so little screen time.
Moon Knight is basically Marvel's Batman and they made him a quirky annoying shell of himself. All the fight scenes could have been awesome but they just don't show them and tell you it's because the characters are switching between personalities. It's lazy.
What we did get of Moon Knight, fantastic. But I bet in 4 episodes we got 15 mins max. I really hated it. Will not be finishing.
Goosebumps (2023)
It Was Better As 22 Min Standalone Stories
Couldn't finish episode 1. It was so much better as 22 min short, contained stories. I don't want an interconnected Goosebumps like the MCU. I want the old classic stories told in their own right and it gets to the point. 22 mins into episode 1 and nothing happened.
These were so much better as self contained, standalone stories. Goosebumps rarely does that. It's why you can pick up any book.in the series and read. Now if they make your favorite book into am episode you have to watch all the others. No thanks. I feelblike this show completely forgets what we like about Goosebumps.
22 mins in and it's all Teen drama. No little has happened. So many plot threads. I hate it.
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)
Please Stop Making Me Cry
I love these movies so much. There's so much to each one. As a fan, it's a masterpiece. Everything we want and more. They're so unbelievably good. They always get me in the feels too. It's so good. I want to watch them a million times but they make me cry everytime.
So please stop making me cry. And by thst I mean keep doing you, because these are amazing. They really connect with me and make me feel like a good movie should. It's been so long since a superhero movie was this good. So few really move you, but this and the first one really do. I love the story, the characters, the animation, the dialogue, everything. I find these movies so interesting and you catch something new on every watch.
Can't wait for the third. Not emotionally ready, but I can't wait.
Home Economics (2021)
Please Don't Cancel
Please don't cancel. I'm on episode 3 of season 1 and I really like this show already. I see there's 3 more seasons. Keep it going.
Love the cast. Love Topher Grace. He's always a bit awkward but I think this is his most likeable role. Eddie Brock sucked. The Predator movie he's ehh. That 70s Show he's okay. Great in the Black Klansman. It's always the same character with him essentially (obviously all his characters aren't the one in Black Klansman, but the rest are basically the same).
Very humorous show. Love the sibling dynamic. Really enjoying it. God these reviews require a lot of characters.
Maneater (2022)
Couldn't Finish It
I love a Shark movie. Even a fairly bad one is worth checking out. Sometimes it's just a matter of low budget. I've seen a lot of terrible Shark movies, but this one is the worst. I even saw Toxic Shark about a Shark tbst shoots Toxic Waste.
But thus has good awful acting and some pretty terrible CGI. It's more so the acting though. All the actors are terrible. Take me right out of the movie. It feels super fake. Very standard "we're irresponsible young adults on vacation". I really hated this. Skipped around to just the Shark parts and it was still awful. Don't watch this. Even if you like sharks, it's a waste of time.
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
Absolute Trash
I think we all need to accept that James Cameron is not a good director. He likes aliens, water, sinking ships, and expensive movies. The guy doesn't have much range.
I don't like the first. My wife somehow loves it. I only went to see this because she wanted to, but multiple times during the movie I wanted to walk out or shout "are you serious?"
I have a lot of issues with this.
1) They say bro so many times. It's annoying.
2) Sigourney Weaver is great, but voicing a kid is weird.
3) Jake Sully likes to make these profound statements that are completely ironic. "Sully's stick together" yet the family constantly gets separated or the siblings watching each other don't. "Father's protect" yet he's leaves his best chance at protecting his kids behind. He leaves an army he LEADS that defeated and killed the villain already.
4) Death clearly doesn't matter because the bad guy is back. Sigourney Weavers character is basically back too. Do they just plan to make the generic army guy the villain in all of these? Cone on. If it wasn't 15 years in between these we'd all be mad.
5) They say it took so long to make because of the visuals. That's a lie. Looks the same as the first. Some scenes look like a crappy 2010s video game. Telltales Jurassic Park had better underwater visuals. I also heard someone say this had better visuals than Aquaman. No way. Aquaman looked fantastic. This is crap.
6) Spider is a weird character. He's like 16 maybe but he's still a child. Yet he's nearly naked. It's creepy.
7) Spider is "family" only when convenient. Mtiple times they forget about him or leave him behind.
8) The second hour drags. So boring. This movie is already too long.
9) Characters are only smart or remember things when it's convenient. At one point they need to get around Fire on the water. I don't understand how this is an issue. Swim under it. They hold their breath super long. It's not an issue. Summon those water animals like you did 5 minutes earlier. Swim under. Summon your flying creatures like you did 80 times and fly over. This is plan dumb.
They are also afraid to drown in a boat, yet they are all insane swimmers who can hold their breath really long.
Spider saves his dad, only to later leave him for a family that left him behind and threatened to kill him?????
They go to attack the humans with a bunch of Navi but don't. Then a whale thing attacks and now the Navi are all gone??? They just disappear.
Multiple times in this they say Jake and his family are being hunted. They go somewhere else and as for sanctuary. They are then attacked by humans multiple times, yet in the final battle the Chiefs wife says "you brought them here". No crap. That's been established like 10 times.
There's a ton of other things I didn't like but 15 years for this????? Crap. Give the money to someone else. When the Marvel movies don't rush CGI, it's just as good as this. James Cameron sucks.
Star Wars: Tales of the Jedi (2022)
Lot of Fun
Pretty awesome! I don't think the first episode was needed. Didn't add anything to the character or story. Kinda silly. Could have been something else. Really liked seeing young Qui-Gon and Dooku. Filled in Dooku's story more. I knew it before hand, but it was nice to see.
Loved seeing more of Anakin. And Obi-Wan in the Clone Wars armor with the mullet was AWESOME.
Yaddle was really cool. Really liked the episode with her. Also, it means Yoda is just an a$$ and talks the way he does for fun. It's probably some regional accent or dialect, but Yoda is a jerk. I get a lot of hate as a Star Wars fan for it, but I don't really like Yoda.
I'd love a second season of this.
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
I Don't Get The Hype
I really don't understand how this became a cultural icon. It's so boring. I love dry humor, but there isn't any here. Didn't laugh once. Uncle Rico is the stand out of this.
Surprisingly enough, there is an animated 2012 series that lasted 1 season, but I do like that. But this.....sucks.
Steve-O: Gnarly (2020)
Love Ya Steve-O
Big fan of his "Wild Rides" podcast. He talks about a lot of this in it. Figured it was worth finally watching it. Wasn't disappointed. Little grossed out, but entertained.
Daredevil (2015)
Vastly Overrated
This show is so boring and slow at times. Charlie Cox is great. Vincent D(don't know how to spell it) too. It's shot well but overall I don't like it. At all really. Some cool fights but it's like 1 good fit for every 4 hours of boring crap.
I suffered through season 1 just cus I wanted to see the suit. Not worth it. Season 2 sucked and I really struggled to finish it. Gave up after that. Saw bits and pieces of season 3 on YouTube. This series is vastly over rated and boring, but to be honest all superhero TV shows USUALLY suck.
I think my biggest thing is everyone is so unlikable. Elektra sucks. Punisher sucks (preferred Thomas Jane). Foggy is whiney and annoying. Karen sucks. Stick is a jerk. To be fair, it's not the actors, it's the characters. I don't care about any of them.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
As a True Thor Fan, I Love This
Been a longtime Thor fan. Read decades of this comics. I've heard many complaints that this isn't Thor. Characters get reinvented often. They did it in Thor Ragnarok. This character is completely in line with where the character is in the MCU. Perfect progression. Makes sense.
Even as a long time Thor fan, no one really likes the whole Shakespearian Thor thing. It's slowly adapted throughout the movies and I like it much better. So in terms of this isn't "Thor", shut up. It's a version of Thor like the thousands others out there. You think this sucks? Read Ultimate Thor.
In terms of colors and the look of the movie, fantastic. Still very Jack Kirby like. Love it.
Soundtrack, fantastic. Casting, fantastic. Chris Hemsworth is great as always. Love Natalie Portman. Korg is fun. Tessa Thompson is great. Huge Christian Bale fan and he's great.
Story, fantastic. Combines elements of Jason Aaron's Thor God of Thunder comic run and the 2015 Mighty Thor run. Both were well executed and refreshed to still entertain.
I didn't like the look of Gorr at first, but it grew on me.
In terms of other complaints I've heard
- Too many jokes. Come on, it's a Marvel movie. These have always been 95% jokes. The MCU has slowly added more and more jokes to each movie. Don't like it? Boo hoo, general audiences do and it's all about the $$$$$
- "Forced" Characters - This is crap. Jane Foster became Thor back in 1978. It was a "What If" story, but still. Then again in 2015. Was it forced? Not one bit.
- LGBTQ+ Representation - It's the world we live in. We can't stick to heterosexual relationships only in all movies. It's just not the world we live in anymore. Frankly, I thought it was refreshing. You know how few LGBTQ+ characters there are in the MCU vs real life? The world is diverse. LGBTQ+ is not a small group anymore. It's good to see more representation. The world will only continue to become more diverse. By cutting these characters and scenes, we only give into these bigots and they win. It's not progress. Granted with Roe V Wade being overturned, I'm not surprised we're regressing.
- Story - Sure it's not perfect, but few movies are. It's still a fun escape from the real world and that's perfect.
Hellboy (2019)
Let Down
Love David Harbour but this kinda sucks. I really like the 2004 Hellboy with Ron Perlman. It's weird because I don't like Ron Perlman., but I like his character. Here, I like David Harbour, but not his version of Hellboy.
Made it 35 minutes in and called it a quits.
Eternals (2021)
It Gets Unfair Hate
I want to start this by saying I find long reviews annoying and pretentious. This will be both. That said, I think Eternals gets unfair hate.
The Eternals are and never have been a big part of the Marvel Universe. I'm a long time comic reader and I've read A LOT. I'm a big fan. But the Eternals don't show up much. They just aren't very popular or well known. This allowed to movie to reinvent them and I think they did a great job. The Eternals in the comics suck. They have some cool Jack Kirby costumes, but that's the only good thing they got going for them. This movie did a good job showing us some of the world Jack Kirby created. Celestials looked like the jumped right off the page.
Because they aren't popular, this movie got to make changes to the characters. Overall, I liked them much more than I do in the comics. I appreciated the diversity as well. For once, it did not feel forced. The story itself is a little convoluted and confusing, but overall it's a fun movie.
There's some awesome star power in this movie. Kit Harrington didn't get much to do, but it's not his movie. Great introduction for the Black Knight. Richard Madden and Gemma Chen are fantastic. Fell in love with their characters. Angelina Jolie was great as always. I would have liked to see more of her. I did not like Barry Keoghan at all before this. I thought he looked weird and dreaded his time as the Joker in Matt Reeve's Batman universe. But, we won me over. He was great. Brian Tyree Henry's Phastos was great. To my knowledge he's the first openly gay MCU character (I like Valkyrie is too but it is hardly shown or known). Great diversity and representation. They even had a deaf character, Makkari. Kingo and Sprite were kind of annoying at times, but whatever. Ma Dong-seok's Gilgamesh was great, loved him. Harry Styles was a fun addition, can't wait to see more.
I don't know what's next for the Eternals, but I'm looking forward to it. This movie is an introduction to them, and it did a great job. This needs to be compared to Iron Man, Captain America The First Avenger, Thor, Ant Man, Doctor Strange and Captain Marvel, not movies like Endgame, Infinity War, and Spider-Man No Way Home. Those movies got years of character development behind them, this does not. As far as Marvel origin stories go, this one's good. I liked it.
In the last few years, Marvel's movie quality has been declining. Captain Marvel had some poor CGI, Black Panther suffered CGI issues and pacing, Black Widow's story stunk and I think Scarlet Johansson did a poor job, Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness has some poor CGI, and Eternals suffers some problems too. But what can you expect? These movies are pushed out so soon and can't get the proper attention anymore. The only ones that do are the big movies (Avengers and the conclusions movies like Civil War, Ragnarok was meant to be the last Thor, Spider-Man No Way Home). Is Eternals the best Marvel movie? No. Is it the worst? No. Is it a good movie? Yeah.
Watch it and consider it an origin movie. Go in with low expectations (the high hopes always ruin these things for people. For example Doctor Strange Multiverse of Madness and WandaVision). It's a good movie.
Emily in Paris (2020)
It pisses me off
Caught one episode with my grandma. The chick Emily is a marketer, but she sucks at it. As a marketing major graduating soon I'm offended and pissed. This is just another dumb show that makes marketers social media gurus only.
This chick blogs and posts to social media. She is a BLOGGER OR INFLUENCER at best. Both are dumb attention seeking jobs. It's not marketing. And worst of all, she calls out the brand she represents in episode 2. A marketer for a company does not call out their own brand.
I'd never watch this on my own, but it's garbage.