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Reviews
Enclosure (2016)
What the heck is the point
Sorry, but hard to follow just what's going on. Too much talk. I'm not going to evaluate the entire movie, but I found it boring. No extraordinary performances. Too many mistakes by the characters. Careless and foolish errors.
I feel like I wasted time on this one. Shameful that considering how there was nothing on tv to watch that I decided on a movie. I would prefer sci-fi or action over horror, but I have to take my wife's preference into account. She likes horror, but the only horror here is the acting performances. Why Arbir Demons? Why not call it the backwoods tree people? Stale, boring and not scary.
Dark Vale (2018)
Boring and nonsensical. Read spoiler for truth.
I can't believe I wasted time watching this. Sat through it expecting it to somehow pull together and go somewhere. It didn't.
Movie bounced around too much. Props appear with no idea how they came about. Is there an endless supply of candles and canned goods? Shouldn't add that since I've added spoilers, but whatever. Don't watch. Waste of time.
Flesh for the Inferno (2015)
So bad it's funny
Thus movie is just beyond awful. I'm still watching because it turned into an unwilling comedy. Watch it if you have time to kill. But you might want to seek out professional help if at any time you find thus scary. Not my best review, but not the best movie either. Anything over 2 stars has been paid for.
Alien Convergence (2017)
Boring. More action at the snail races.
Horrible movie. Too much personal drama, not enough action. Very few scenes of the alien creatures. Mostly talk, talk, talk and nothing realistic. Oh, the costumer should be fired, second asylum movie I watched thus week with so many mistakes in the military uniforms.
Age of Tomorrow (2014)
I just can't believe what I just watched.
What is it that I saw? Could have been better. Maybe if the budget had been raised a couple hundred dollars more, they could have gotten a costumer to properly do the military uniforms. And why, when they are attacking, in the background there is so much city traffic? And why was the acting so stale and predictable? How is it that so many weapons couldn't stop the aliens, but a man with an axe could?
Disappointing ending as well. But I guess it's hooray for the aliens.
And as another reviewer stated, it might be okay to watch on a rainy Sunday afternoon. However, the weatherman said rain today. I'm still waiting on the rain (drought conditions here on a colorado sunday) and waiting for the movie to be okay.
Forget it. Just bad. No redeeming value, no real entertainment. Amateurish and low budget. An Asylum usual quality.
Don't Speak (2020)
Stupid start to end. Just baaaaad!
Holy crap. This movie had to be the worst I have seen in the last ten years. Flimsy excuse for a horror movie. Bad acting, bad writing. Nothing made much sense. I could put in spoilers, but then you wouldn't read on. So i'll avoid them in hopes you will avoid this movie.
Fatman (2020)
Epic Christmas movie that ain't Hallmark or Disney
What would you expect from Mel Gibson, snow globes and tinsel? I don't think so. This movie goes to some extremes in every aspect of the Santa Claus story line. Not something from your childhood. Don't think that you will see a jolly guy in a red suit, reindeer, or anything traditional. Just a guy running a business in modern times (okay, there are elves), and having to put up with the worst of his bad list.
Classic Gibson. If you enjoy some intense action, give it a brief wait,but it does show up.
But son't trust me. Just watch it!
They Came from the Ether (2014)
Goofy. Weird. Writer was on ether.
They tried to replicate a 50s or 60s B-movie. Not much of an effort. Stale acting, predictable script.
But, if you like cheesy movies, thus will satisfy that urge to escape the Hollywood blockbusters and have a good laugh.
Clinton Road (2019)
Eric Roberts 15 seconds of fame
This movie starts off bad. It progresses into confusion. Just plain terrible.
Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem (2003)
Yes. Combination of my two favorite things
Finally got to watch this on Youtube. (I'm too cheap to subscribe to Stingray). It gave me the chance to enjoy two of my favorites, Daft Punk and animation.
Clever blend. Gave a story that did not need dialog. Yes, you need to pay attention to follow the story. But since It's only just over an hour long, even those with attention disorders should be able to get through this.
Great concept, great music, great plot line. Would highly recommend to those who enjoy EDM. (Electronic dance music) and anybody that enjoys anime. Pretty much universally understood.
Watch this at all cost. You will be pleased.
Radius (2017)
Worth a watch
Unusual story. Sci-fi, thriller, horror. Blended elements well. I'll keep this short. Just watch this. You will be satisfied.
30,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2007)
Holy crap. Avoid at all cost!
Okay, first it says it's an adaption of the Jules Verne novel. Outside of Nautilus and Nemo there is no relation. Acting was about as stale as month old bread. And whoever was in charge of contrast did not do their job.
In the beginning, we see the cast wearing military ranks, but as the show develops, their ranks change. Demotions perhaps for poor performance in a bad movie?.
Oxygenator, oh how original. Steel squids? Scuba free diving at that depth? A nobody that has the nuclear codes for missles.
I just cannot explain how many mistakes there were. Any intelligent person would have popped Nemo in the back of his head right away. And proceed to kill the rest of the evil crew.
Just give yourself a chance to avoid the disappointment. Watch the 20000 leagues movie instead. A classic actually based on the novel.
Devil's Revenge (2019)
Just bad
Horrible movie. Made no sense. And poor William Shatners performance was flat. Too much unneccesary death and destruction. Worst ending ever. Did he die before it all happened, or was it all his mind? Just too many unanswered questions.
Cowboys vs Dinosaurs (2015)
Uh, cowboy (singular) and dinosaurs
Pretty poor. Premise was promising, however, product lacking. I suppose that adding a name like Eric Roberts was supposed to increase it's appeal, but he only appeared in less than 5 minutes of the film as the worthless drunken father of the protagonist. (Probably the best role in the last ten years)
And the cowboy (sic) was just a washed up rodeo rider. A town sheriff lacking legal morality. An ex-girlfriend with no loyalties.
About the only redeeming acts were that all the bad people end up dead. But then again, so many innocent die as well. Shame they killed off the sheriff before he could apologize or admit he was wrong.
Not my greatest review, but hard to put onto words how bad it was. It did keep me on the edge of my seat (pondering going to the kitchen, the bathroom, to bed.)
Two Sentence Horror Stories (2017)
2 sentence sleep stories
Not very compelling. I've watched two weeks worth and not too interesting. Stories don't follow the 2 sentences. Too many commercials on CW. Just dissatisfied.
The Craft: Legacy (2020)
Eh...
Okay, not even close to the original. At best, they could have given it a different title. But at worst, they left viewers expecting great things. I will admit it wasn't a total waste. Sorry for the weak review, I put as much effort into it as they did to the movie.
Kick-Ass (2010)
The title says it all
Yes, it has all the action one needs for it to qualify as a super hero movie, despite lacking a title super hero. Tons of good moves from supporting actress. All I can say is that you should watch this movie if you get the chance. I hope a sequel comes out (ended on that option.)
Joulutarina (2007)
A totally different take on the Santa story.
Oh yes. I really wasn't expecting this to be as it was. So many good ratings, which only scares me (I've watched other high rated movies with disappointing results). So I gave it a chance. I'm glad I did. I've heard different tales about the genesis of old St. Nick, but this puts it closer to what I've been told. Sure, the original St. Nick was supposedly a Turkish monk, but this brings things closer to the North Pole. Yes, with the snow, the reindeer, the hand-making of toys for the local children, it fills the bill. The only drawback was the ending. I would have loved to have seen more about how he taught the reindeer to fly. But overall, I would recommend this movie for all to watch. Excellent for adults and children alike. Smooth flow, acting was good, character development was great. Watch it, you won't be dissappointed.
Super Cyclone (2012)
OMG. What is this s#it?
Okay, Ming-na Wen was about the only redeeming factor. Other than that, it was nonsense. An oiling rig that in close-ups is really a water treatment plant. Much too large for an oil rig. And how many times does it get overwhelmed with flames, yet 2 minutes later we see crew with hoses. Why did the guys jump into the water? Was a scientist not consulted? So confusing, such bad acting, so many improbable actions. Just do yourself a favor and watch anything else to spare your brains the pain.
Haunted (2017)
Uh. What the heck?
Omg. I like horror movies. I didn't like this movie. I'm Italian. This is an insult to Italians. Boring beyond belief. Too slow, not enough scare, plot to scattered. I just can't recommend this movie to anyone. I've watched several bad movies lately, but this one was dredged from the bottom of the pile. Wasted an hour so far, and happier watching the commercial interruptions.
Murdoch Mysteries: Sir. Sir? Sir!!! (2018)
Come on people. Get a sense of humor!
Yes, a far departure from Murdoch fare. But once in a while it seems fair that even a long running show like this take a one week vacation from the norm. Remember, quite a few of the actors are also stand up comedians as well.
Give in to the occasion (this was a Halloween special show).
Strange, but I hear tell that Canadians have no sense of humor. This episode puts that rumor to a dead end.