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The Spirit 68
Reviews
Hotel Bitch (1995)
Senseless
WARNING: the whole content of the movie is told in the [brackets]
[The movie is about a knight who rescues a princess from an evil magician (or something like that). At the beginning, he tells his reasons for this. He isn't interested in the money or marring her, he only wants to have sex with her. After killing the magician and his men in a bloody massacre, he rides to the next town with the princess. In the hotel room, the princess isn't interested in sex with him and so he rapes her after become brave by drinking a whole bottle of wine. During this 'action' the princess confesses that she's still a virgin but she is more and more interested in sex and so she changes the situation by slapping the knight and make him suffer, of course for sexual reasons. (So the scene changes from a raping-scene into an S&M-scene!!!!!) Finally, the 'couple' rides on and the knight tells to the viewer that the two married and that they had a lot of wonderful sex. THE END!!!]
So well, that's the content of this Japanese short animation. (I summed it up because there is no official summary on this page). It seems to be very senseless at the first sight, and in fact, this movie is senseless. A very nice person could say that this is meant as a satire on fairytales, because in this movie the knight doesn't rescue the princess because he's so brave or something like that, his only interests are sex and violence. The princess turns from a virgin to a sex-addicted pervert during one night and the evil magician is no threatening for the protagonist, he's only an opportunity for the hero' to satisfy his hunger for blood.
Additional the whole movie's stress is set on the sex night and not on the rescue of the princess, which is finished in about two minutes.
All together this movie is funny if you like trash, but in general, the movie is only a poor and senseless splatter-and-porno-movie. Although I'd recommend to watch it, because it will only last about 10 minutes of your life.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Simple Stupid Poor
I can't see why the average rating of Episode 2 is 8.2 today, because this movie has so many obvious mistakes in the logical structure, that it sometimes hurts to watch it (Jango Fett kills the women, who was supposed to assassinate Princess Amidala by a poisoned arrow, while she's lying in Obi-Wan's Arms. Why doesn't he just kill Obi-Wan himself, all his problems would be solved when doing so?!?!?/Why does Anakin's mother immediately die after his arrival in the tent where she is locked up in??!!!?!?!/Why does Obi-Wan say that a planet is south of another one while watching a map of the galaxy? Of what use is south of' when describing a direction in space?!?!?!???! )
Additionally, I can't see any depth in character development in this movie. Anakin is influenced by love and hate and so he can't accomplish his mission like hes supposed to do and he'll finally becomes a menace to the republic, hoooh, that's clever and this was told in episodes 4-6 before. The scene in which his hate is shown is really primitive; he kills the murders of his mother, that's the level of character development in a B-movie. In addition, whenever homage is paid to the original trilogy, this is done obvious and simple, to make sure that even the biggest idiot in the cinema gets it. And of course, those scenes are always followed by a few seconds of silence to underline the brilliance of such a clever allusion.
What finally remains are some impressive sets and special effects and the brilliant, but mismatching Yoda-Fighting-Scene.
And OK, I confess, that some of the old magic and atmosphere of the episodes 4-6 returned, which makes episode 2 much better and entertaining than the terrible episode 1.
But in the end the unbelievable stupidity and simplicity of the story and character-development are too annoying to recommended this movie and it's impossible to give more than 5 points for a movie, which sometimes doesn't even reach the level of a Trash-Movie.
Not Another Teen Movie (2001)
Just Another Teen Movie
This movie is maybe the worst I've ever seen in a cinema. Mel Brooks once said that if you want to parody a movie, this movie must be able to reach a certain level of quality. Otherwise it's too easy to do the parody and a bad movie is of course always a parody on itself.
This is the situation we have here. 'American Pie', 'She's All That' and so on are so bad that you don't need a parody to see why they are bad.
The next problem with 'Not Another Teen Movie' is that this movie is not a real parody, because it uses the same stereotypes than other teen-movies and that's of course not the way to parody a genre.
Also the movie steals just like 'Scary Movie' elements of productions by the Zucker Brothers and Jim Abrahams. OK, 20 years ago their movies were new, but today this kind of silly humor is just old-fashioned. For Example nobody needs the unbearable new movies of Leslie Nielson.
But the worst thing about this movie is that it also grabs real movies and take them down into the filth. For example 'American Beauty' and 'The Breakfast Club' are made fun of on a quality-level that's ridiculous.
Well I think that's all the main bad things about this movie.
What really makes me angry is the guy, who sit next to me in the cinema. He laughed at every stupid joke and always said things like 'Oh, man that's not possible!'. Those guys are responsible for the disappearance of really good movies that are also successful.
Ah, by the way count how many people are hit by bikes, cars or buses. I think the number is a new world record.
Lost Highway (1997)
Artfull Masterpiece (Spoiler Alert[maybe])
In my eyes Lost Highway is one of the best movies ever. The reason is that it is entertaining on the one hand, but also subtle on the other hand.
If you know other movies of mastermind David Lynch, you won't be surprised about the strange story which seems to be senseless at the first view. When I first watched the movie, I was absolutely fascinated. I was so excited about how everything is explained at the end, but the end only gives a short clue and no explanation. So during the first watch the movie creates an unbearable tension.
This is also supported by Lynch's brilliant Direction. The majority of the story is only told by images and not by dialogues. Especially in the first about 40 minutes nearly nobody is speaking. Although the movie creates a intense, dark atmosphere, which let's you feel the upcoming menace.
After the first part the movie continues a little bit more usual, there are more dialogues and the whole setting is brighter. But in the end the mood and the kind of story telling of the beginning returns, and this time it's even more intense.
This was the first level the second level is the interpretation. There are lots of proper interpretations for the movie and I think David Lynch won't make a movie without a message to enkrypt. So after watching the movie for the first time, you can watch it again a few times maybe with a friend to talk about possible interpretations. In my eyes this is as much fun as enjoy the film for the first time. Now you can see how subtle this movie really is.
These points make the movie a brilliant artfull masterpiece, which is set in the right mood by director David Lynch and his proper cast.
Rei-Lan: Orchid Emblem (1997)
Strange but Funny
This movie is very strange. It's an Anime-Soft-Porn, so the movie's main content are sex-scenes. So there's nothing strange so far, but:
The movie also tries to tell a story, which contains reasons, why the protagonist always have sex. These explanations are unbelievable and funny as hell.
Here are some highlights:
In one scene Rei-Lan gets a magical tattoo, which can only be created while she has sex. The tattoo is very complex so she has sex for 72(!) hours. In another scene Rei-Lan is raped by her enemy, a drug-baron. The rapist forces her boyfriend to watch them.
The whole movie only consists of these strange stories and the following sex-scenes. So if you like trash you gotta watch it, else I won't recommend the movie because it's of absolutely no sense.
Paura nella città dei morti viventi (1980)
Warning!!!
THIS MOVIE IS LESS THAN NOTHING!!!
The story is absolutely senseless, the dialogues are ridiciolous and the splatter effects are totally unimaginative, especially if you compare this movie to a classic Zombie-Movie like 'Dawn Of The Dead' or 'Braindead'. These brilliant classics brought you nice ideas and they had their own style. This movie has nothing of these qualities.
OK so far everything could be alright with the movie, if there where more trash-scenes in it. A few scenes are so stupid, that you can laugh about the movie-makers, but the majority of the movie is just absolutely boring. Sometimes the setting is so dark that you can't see anything and sometimes just nothing happens.
In some scenes the old 80s-Splatter-Trash-Appeal appears, for example when somebody talks and the camera zooms to his fearful eyes. These scenes are so damn stupid, and these scenes are even repeated a few times in the movie.
SO IF YOU EVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO WATCH THIS MOVIE, DON'T TAKE IT!!!
The only scary thing about this movie is that the creators are obviously zombies.