Can't even force myself to watch the trailer because Jennifer Lopez is too dislikable as an actress or singer or ANYTHING!! Netflix definitely screwed up backing up her rubbish. Were they trying to bank on her name in hopes of putting out a hit movie??? They basically just wasted their money on someone with absolutely no TRUE talent whatsoever. There are just certain actors and actresses that just don't deserve screen time or accolades or respect... and she tops my list. I mean seriously..... I can't even bring myself to watch a trailer because seeing her face disgusts me. Please retire and go far away. Gross.
Reviews
9 Reviews
Unearth
(II) (2020)
What did I just watch?
7 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I rarely post reviews, but I just feel compelled to after this mess. The first time I read Anne Rice's "The Witching Hour," I remember that I actually had to draw out a family tree chart because there were soo many intermingled generations and names...
Sorry, I digress. I'm just pointing out that it took me a long time into the movie to be sure who was related to who. The best way I can describe this is if you took Lovecraft's "Color Out of Space" meets a fracking company?? Even "The Curse" from 1987 was better....
And then... it got weird. Did the director or writer decide to pull an Evil Dead twist? Was it some sort of attempt to shock the audience, like the way "Hereditary" did? Annnnnd then..... nothing. No resolution, no direction... 4 out of 10 because I did like *some of the special effects. This really isn't a must see by any means, but works well as background noise I suppose.
Sorry, I digress. I'm just pointing out that it took me a long time into the movie to be sure who was related to who. The best way I can describe this is if you took Lovecraft's "Color Out of Space" meets a fracking company?? Even "The Curse" from 1987 was better....
And then... it got weird. Did the director or writer decide to pull an Evil Dead twist? Was it some sort of attempt to shock the audience, like the way "Hereditary" did? Annnnnd then..... nothing. No resolution, no direction... 4 out of 10 because I did like *some of the special effects. This really isn't a must see by any means, but works well as background noise I suppose.
Gigli
(2003)
I might have even liked it if Jennifer Lopez wasn't in it.
4 July 2019
I hate to give any film such a low rating, but basically anything Jennifer Lopez is playing in gets several stars knocked off, if not just a flat out ZERO. ANY movie is ruined by the mere inclusion of Lopez. She can't act and can't sing. I have no idea what people see in her.
Lila & Eve
(2015)
Why did they cast Jennifer Lopez???
4 July 2019
I hate to give any film such a low rating, but basically anything Jennifer Lopez is playing in gets several stars knocked off. Viola Davis is great, but the movie is ruined by the mere inclusion of Lopez. She can't act and can't sing. I have no idea what people see in her.
The Hallow
(2015)
Why such low ratings?? And hey, it's GoT's Benjen Stark!!
25 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
I do not write that many reviews on here, but after reading the other reviews, I felt compelled to write this and stand up for this movie!! I personally thought it was EXCELLENT with only a few (very few) flaws. I read many reviews stating that this movie was unoriginal and had been done over and over in other titles. Perhaps so, but then again, it seems to be a difficult thing to do in the horror genre...I mean really, look at how many Friday the 13th movies there are, and how many vampire movies, and how many haunted house stories, and exorcisms, etc. So what if this has a similar plot to others? The main thing is that it was just plain good.
First off, the two main characters are extremely likable and you find yourself rooting for them. They are NOT the typical stupid college kids that just go to the woods to get drunk and have sex and act like bullies or stuck up snobs. One reviewer said that there was no one famous in it - I disagree. The father's character is also Benjen Stark from Game of Thrones!! I do not personally know much about the mother and her other roles, but she did a fine job acting. Also, they did what normal people would do - they tried to flee!! They tried to save their baby!! There are no scantily clad women running around, there are no jerk/jock boyfriends that deserved to die as in soo many other horror movies that try to use nudity to capture the audience's attention.
I'm not going to give too many spoilers here, but let's just say the basic premise of the movie involves the mythical "changelings". One reviewer didn't understand why there were two babies - just read up on changelings and you won't be confused anymore.
The setting in the woods were absolutely gorgeous, and the director even was thoughtful enough to bring in smaller details regarding changelings, such as the iron scissors on the door for protection. Kudos to him for bringing in elements of the original mythology.
As for the scare factors and the creature/monster effects - absolutely EXCELLENT for such a small budget. It's nice being able to have a clear view of the creatures, and they looked amazing. Someone else said the creatures reminded them of Pan's Labyrinth, but this reviewer also gave Pan's Labyrinth only 1 star. The creature effects were very, very good. I don't know if they were CGI or just great costuming and make- up. There were some seriously intense scenes that kept me on the edge of my seat - such as when the father is in the trunk of the car, or when the mother was trying to hold down the attic door with the slimy ooze "hand" going for her eye. Some reviewers called it a slow movie - come on, what did they expect? So what if the movie took 10 minutes to give us some background? Geez, people are so critical. It's a MOVIE, it's there to entertain us, give it chance!!
I am even tempted to give the movie 10 stars (and no, I'm not part of the production crew giving it a false high rating). The main reason that I take away a star is because the baby crying so much was annoying... But then again, you'd cry too if dozens of demonic looking forest fairies start attacking you in your baby crib.
So please - give this movie a chance. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it. Considering the fact that I mainly watch horror movies and nothing else, this one was a gem!!
First off, the two main characters are extremely likable and you find yourself rooting for them. They are NOT the typical stupid college kids that just go to the woods to get drunk and have sex and act like bullies or stuck up snobs. One reviewer said that there was no one famous in it - I disagree. The father's character is also Benjen Stark from Game of Thrones!! I do not personally know much about the mother and her other roles, but she did a fine job acting. Also, they did what normal people would do - they tried to flee!! They tried to save their baby!! There are no scantily clad women running around, there are no jerk/jock boyfriends that deserved to die as in soo many other horror movies that try to use nudity to capture the audience's attention.
I'm not going to give too many spoilers here, but let's just say the basic premise of the movie involves the mythical "changelings". One reviewer didn't understand why there were two babies - just read up on changelings and you won't be confused anymore.
The setting in the woods were absolutely gorgeous, and the director even was thoughtful enough to bring in smaller details regarding changelings, such as the iron scissors on the door for protection. Kudos to him for bringing in elements of the original mythology.
As for the scare factors and the creature/monster effects - absolutely EXCELLENT for such a small budget. It's nice being able to have a clear view of the creatures, and they looked amazing. Someone else said the creatures reminded them of Pan's Labyrinth, but this reviewer also gave Pan's Labyrinth only 1 star. The creature effects were very, very good. I don't know if they were CGI or just great costuming and make- up. There were some seriously intense scenes that kept me on the edge of my seat - such as when the father is in the trunk of the car, or when the mother was trying to hold down the attic door with the slimy ooze "hand" going for her eye. Some reviewers called it a slow movie - come on, what did they expect? So what if the movie took 10 minutes to give us some background? Geez, people are so critical. It's a MOVIE, it's there to entertain us, give it chance!!
I am even tempted to give the movie 10 stars (and no, I'm not part of the production crew giving it a false high rating). The main reason that I take away a star is because the baby crying so much was annoying... But then again, you'd cry too if dozens of demonic looking forest fairies start attacking you in your baby crib.
So please - give this movie a chance. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it. Considering the fact that I mainly watch horror movies and nothing else, this one was a gem!!
Bleed
(I) (2016)
Ummmm.... What exactly did I just watch??
23 January 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Spoilers in here (well, sort of). I wanted to like this movie, I really did. In fact, the first few minutes were actually kinda creepy, and make you want to watch more. Why did the little girl have the birthmark? Why did the creepy guy try to chase her down? But then...we switch to the current time period, and everything kinda falls apart. You've got the standard horror movie characters - you know, like the couples that go camping at Crystal Lake, or the friends on a road trip where the car breaks down, etc. In this case, you have a pregnant couple, the pregnant lady's friends, and her asinine brother with his hippie chick girlfriend. OK, pretty standard. I give this movie 3 stars because some of "scare" moments were kinda cool and gory. Also, the primary location at the old burned down prison was effectively scary. But aside from that, the film made no sense. Why did the hillbilly cultists want the baby? Is the baby supposed to be a savior, or some sort of Antichrist? What exactly did this Cannibal Kane character do? It seems like he's trying to scare everyone off...but wait, he's trying to help? And if his spirit is trying to help, why didn't he follow Miss Prego when she got picked up in the van? What the hell happened to the kids when they were younger and got saved by butterflies? I do love my horror movies, good and bad, but they need to at least have a cohesive plot of some sort. Any plot that this might have had got completely unraveled and twisted up with no clarification at the end. If the movie had at least 10 or 15 more minutes to flesh out the plot and give meaning, it could have been really good. Oh well.
Let Us Prey
(2014)
How did I miss this movie earlier!?!?!?! SOOO GOOD!!!!
28 August 2016
I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I was scrolling through the channels looking for something to watch since Game of Thrones was officially done for the season, and I stumbled across this. It has Liam Cunningham from Game of Thrones - gotta LOVE Davros Seaworthy. But beyond just him, this movie was excellent. I'm a HUGE horror movie buff, the bloodier the better. This had SOME grossly bloody scenes in it, at least enough to make me happy, but overall, this is SUCH an excellent revenge, good vs. evil, supernatural movie with decent gore. I found the acting superb, and the atmosphere was delightfully dark depressing, and ominous. I don't think the movie had a huge budget, but they did FANTASTIC with what they had. The end was utterly and COMPLETELY satisfying. I would recommend this movie to ANY horror movie lover, or perhaps any revenge movie type lover.... Think "I Spit On Your Grave" but supernatural.
The Insatiable
(2006)
Give it a chance - I personally LOVED it!!!
29 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
The is only the second time I have bothered to post a comment on a movie here, although I am constantly prowling through IMDb for movie suggestions. So to make it clear - I collect vampire movies - all of them, regardless if they are horrible or not. I bought this movie for only two reasons:
1. Sean Patrick Flanery. I think I might have fallen in love with him when he was in Boondock Saints. His character in this movie is a FAR cry from one of the Boondock Saints...but he pulled it off and was convincing.
2. It's a vampire movie. And like I said, even if it's horrible, I'll still add it to my collection.
So besides those two points, I had no idea what I was buying. It turned out to be great!!! OK, it's definitely a B-movie budget, so don't go into it expecting tons of special effects. Javier, the co-worker, is annoying enough to throw the movie away. His character is the only reason I disliked the movie. However, he does get his in the end, which makes the whole thing worth it. And hey - what a nice change, that vampires don't get burned to a crisp by the sun in the end! Now THAT alone makes this movie worth it for me.
1. Sean Patrick Flanery. I think I might have fallen in love with him when he was in Boondock Saints. His character in this movie is a FAR cry from one of the Boondock Saints...but he pulled it off and was convincing.
2. It's a vampire movie. And like I said, even if it's horrible, I'll still add it to my collection.
So besides those two points, I had no idea what I was buying. It turned out to be great!!! OK, it's definitely a B-movie budget, so don't go into it expecting tons of special effects. Javier, the co-worker, is annoying enough to throw the movie away. His character is the only reason I disliked the movie. However, he does get his in the end, which makes the whole thing worth it. And hey - what a nice change, that vampires don't get burned to a crisp by the sun in the end! Now THAT alone makes this movie worth it for me.
Reign in Darkness
(2002 Video)
I was an idiot for even watching the whole thing
13 November 2006
I collect vampire movies....All of them. The good, the bad, the ugly of them. Everything from Underworld to the original Dracula featuring the one and only Bela...So when I found this in a bin for only $5.50, I thought SWEET!!! A new vampire movie for about the same price as a rental.
Now.....all I can say is that I want my $5.50 back with INTEREST. I would have given the movie a ZERO instead of a one, but there wasn't that option. Don't waste your time or your money...Even if you have the flu and can't get out of the house and it is the only thing you can find on some obscure cable program....Don't do it. You'll CRY when you watch it because you can actually feel your brain cells dying and shriveling up.
Now.....all I can say is that I want my $5.50 back with INTEREST. I would have given the movie a ZERO instead of a one, but there wasn't that option. Don't waste your time or your money...Even if you have the flu and can't get out of the house and it is the only thing you can find on some obscure cable program....Don't do it. You'll CRY when you watch it because you can actually feel your brain cells dying and shriveling up.
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