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she_diabloyk
Reviews
Tekken (2010)
I should have learnt my lessons... and played the game instead
After Blood Rayne, Dead or Alive and Doom i gave up hope that the video game to movie adaptation could not be done successfully. In theory this movie should never have been watched by myself however as a long standing fan of NAMCO and the TEKKEN series i hunted high and low to find and see this movie.
(i wrote a longer comment but felt so let down and despondent that i deleted it and concluding with this as my final verdict) ADVENT CHILDREN is the greatest game to movie adaptation, there is no other let us stop wasting money! Production companies should be sued for false advertising and time wasting (1hour and 24mins i will not be getting back this year!)
10,000 BC (2008)
Nothing more can be said that has not already been written... but i will try
if you liked this movie i recommend blood rayne (or however you spelt that crock). i hate it when a movie should take 1.4 hours but takes me 3 because of sheer boredom.
i was warned by friends who had not seen it and those who had, but i had a few hours to kill and kill them i did............ (sigh) should have watched my wall in the dark.
too many plots, nothing explored. i was offended that the bad guy who lusted after the freakishly-blue-eyed girl (who always looked like she was on crack due to pupil dilation) was so ugly (lol) at first i thought awww he likes her, then as i saw and realised how much he liked her i became increasingly apprehensive that he would touch her (shudder).
reading some of the previous reviews gave me a huge giggle as the veil of delusion had not been flung over just my eyes but others too after watching the trailer. i wont even get started on the saber-tooth (cant do it, its bringing up images of fail explanations and exploration).
its one of those rare movies that you start making up alternative plots just because you think it would be too outrageous for them to follow the current one. 1- her giving him up 2- him letting his dumb-ass followers down but taking the girl and promptly saying "screw you guys I'm going home" 3- him riding on the kitty 4- his dad being the bad guy 5- the almighty being a woman 6- the albinos revolting against the extreme conditions and lack of sun screen, sunglasses(?) (btw i know they are blind) 7- the old lady screaming "Desmond!" or "Ricky!" or "Peggy!" (uk joke) 8- (i am actually making these up on the spot now)
but you get the picture. it was what it was, but it promised so much more, even watching it knowing it could be bad can leave disappointment, (like a child at Xmas promised a PS3 but gets 1 of those plug into the front of the TV controllers) too cruel guys too cruel.
Sunshine (2007)
I wished for an eclipse!!!
So, i took a leap i thought maybe just maybe this could be worth me watching... i read up on reviews, good and bad ( to all those who wrote good reviews: You SOLD your SOUL!!!) this movie was terrible, ohh so bad. what should have taken me an hour and a half to watch took me 3. sheer boredom crept in and i had to do something different.
so its a rubbish plot to start with- we know. then to make it worst a few crew members think its pretty to stare at the sun!!!! OMG lol that's stupid, and by wearing sunglasses it makes it all coolio(LMAO). then there is a stupid GREEDY idea of the second bomb- which that mace guy has the nerve to blame kappa for in the end, not that they didn't give him sole responsibility and you know if they hadn't gone for the second bomb it would have been his fault still. so they go, loose 2 crew members burn the ship, decide 3 people must die then pick up 1 more; who has been so sun exposed its a wonder how he lasted 1) for 6.5 years 2) without developing skin cancer and 3) why he is even in the bloody movie!! i couldn't watch no more of the movie after this. i walked out.
flush money down the toilet its a better way of wasting it. or better yet give it to charity.
to add insult to injury there is this bit where they go into the other ship and you know in "fight club" where brad pitts character starts putting into the kiddy movies frames of porno, that effect is used. however it comes across as if some loser got into the projection room and wanted to have a giggle. its not until they occur more often that u get the idea that its supposed to happen.
300 (2006)
OMG- Amazin
HArrrrrrrraH!!!!! Blood, Violence, Sex and Leadership. I never read the g-novel, and i have heard that the movie was a (very) loose representation of it. Amazing- special effects, fight scenes, scenery, how the passion of the men was conveyed, their love and honour for their City and fellow warrior. Its a real "guy" kind of movie, very little lovey dovey stuff, little humour to offer, except the banter between 2 warriors about their fighting style. Persians remind me of the God in Stargate:the movie, same voice effect too. 1 of the most action packed movies i have seen this year so far. 10/10 for sure. soundtrack ain't half bad either.
Superman Returns (2006)
Not What i expected
For years there has been no Superman, then they bring him back.... In my opinion i found this movie to be quite boring. Yeah the plane scene is good and maybe the....... wait no i think thats it. So many continuity errors, was furious. I want to know how superman can pick up a Krytonite Island...How? HOw? HOW?!! The mere sight or unseen presence of the stone makes him weak at the bloody knees but he can lift the island...? I HATE LOIS LANE, her character is appalling. she has a kid and puts them both in danger. What got me was how unrealistic the plane scene was with her. I mean if i was to get thrown around a plane which was being pulled out to space and there was no seat belt holding me down. i am pretty sure you would either pass out with a concussion, has serious internal bleeding or at least a bruise...But no the not so pretty Lois lane comes away unharmed. yet when when she bangs her head on a kitchen item she is out for the count. Movie is OK... Its like the first Spiderman, Boring with a few nice action sequences. Its gonna take the second movie to make a real impact. 1st Movies are always about setting the scene, making sure everyone begins on the same page. Very disappointed with the ending though- I saw that 1 coming a mile off.
Ultraviolet (2006)
Has Milla been Type-Casted
Poor Poor, Milla. I doubt she will ever get a break. All action, no acting and gets naked... wow! In all her current movies, she always seems to have some tragic loss and then feel revenge is the only way. 5th element, her alien buddies die must save the world. Resident Evil 1&2- doesn't know who the hell she is must kick but, then they make her into some genetic freak with suppressed powers. Ultraviolet- Bloody same story. Out of all those movies she does deliver some good fight scenes. That creepy kid- in the brief case, can not act, (reminds me of the 6th sense boy when he played Pinocchio in AI)- every time he came on screen all i wanted to do was scream ACT, PLEASE Try and ACT! cool special effects the whole colour changing out fit thing and the hair. Had to watch it twice to understand the ending. I don't say avoid the movie, but if you want to see it wait for it to come on TV. It is not horrid but its not the greatest movie that must be watched.
BloodRayne (2005)
Wow.....that was a real waste of time.
This movie is bad, not the good kinda bad but the bad kinda bad. First class actors and actresses in the movie, bad story, dumb plot and crap scenes. A waste of an hour and a half. Even the fight scenes are rubbish, slow paced very coordinated, nothing fluid about them. A extremely random sex scene- all out of the blue, no build up but as cliché would have it you know it is coming up. All the famous actors die and only the terminator 3 girl (rayne) lives. Then there is a montage of all the bloody scenes and the movie ends. Reminds me kinda of Riddick, even ends the same. If the movie had not been on my PC i would have burnt it. waste of time. OMG... I felt cheated, saw the trailer thought this could be good, trailer is false advertising. It is not a good movie. For all those who say Catwoman was rubbish- you will hate this. If you must watch it take interval breaks of every 5 mins. Watching it straight will induce SLEEP!