jessicartim Reviews

I Blame Society (2020)

Just bad

[1/10 · 20 August 2021]

Bad movie about very unlikable character.

I really don't understand what purpose this movie have or what's the message in it.

If by any chance the main character is what suppose to be recognized as a "strong female character" these days then indeed I blame the society.

Nothing really new or creative or worth seeing.

Watch Man Bites Dog instead as other mentioned.

A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

Silly just like the first one

[1/10 · 18 August 2021]

They found a gimmick to appeal to pretentious viewers and well, we have a sequel. More of the same.

If you had issues with the first movie, don't bother, its the same.

Saint Maud (2019)

Nothing special, slow and pointless

[1/10 · 2 February 2021]

Very slow, not scary and not atmospheric movie with infuriating religious tones. Very upset Iv seen it actually.

The Returned (2013)

Very boring and predictable

[1/10 · 31 January 2021]

Dull movie with very one dimensional characters that you really wont care about. Everything goes through very predictable motions here. Also the entire premise is silly and executed badly with characters constantly doing the dumbest possible things in the situation.

Curse of Aurore (2020)

Very average spooky ghost

[3/10 · 14 January 2021]

Why is this that even after 100 movies with spooky little ghost girls, nobody tries to change the subject just slightly? Why young horror film makers spend their time and possibly money making same exact tropey stuff over and over? Unfortunately yes this movie is another painfully standard ghost hunting story. Nothing new or original. Painfully average.

Jackals (I) (2017)

Boring, done to death horror story

[1/10 · 8 January 2021]

Yes its one of those. Boring family that you don't care about vs. boring emo mask wearing cult kids. No originality, no good acting/music/characters nothing. Do yourself a favour and watch any other horror.

Sky Sharks (2020)

One of the dumbest movies Iv seen this year

[1/10 · 24 November 2020]

Not sure what I was expecting from movie about flying sharks but it was painful to watch. If you enjoyed Iron Sky be aware - this is not in the same league in any way. Horrid effets, very poor acting, terrible "jokes", no cool music just one big WW2 zombie meme made by bunch of kids. Don't waste your time.

Saviors (2018)

I'm sorry

[1/10 · 25 October 2020]

I get it, I was born with the wrong skin colour, you don't have to remind me anymore.. Do not watch this movie.

The Rental (2020)

Unintentionally funny

[4/10 · 25 July 2020]

Its not a bad movie, nor its a great movie. If you like to watch really, really silly characters doing everything in their power to screw themselves over its a fun ride.

Julia (I) (2014)

Bloody disgusting

[1/10 · 7 July 2020]

If you are one of those angry feminists that hates men and wants to kill them just for flirting with you then this movie is indeed your revenge on all man fantasy. I for one absolutely hated it and its message. -10/10

Hunter Killer (2018)

Enjoyable military action flick

[6/10 · 4 July 2020]

Very enjoyable movie for the weekend, threw realism expectations out the window and just enjoy fun military action. True that the CGI can be "funny" at times but still its a nice popcorn ride.

Unsubscribe (I) (2020)

Lots of fake reviews, bad project not movie

[1/10 · 2 July 2020]

This is a student project at best, most of the reviews are from friends and people involved I think. Don't waste your time.

The Kingdom of Var (2019)

Not a movie

[1/10 · 2 July 2020]

This is not a real movie, this is "me and friends messing around with camera on weekend" type of deal. From acting, script, camera work to characters everything is just dreadful or non existent. Respect your time, do not watch this "project".

Celebrity Crush (2019)

Misery this is not

[1/10 · 30 June 2020]

Remember the great movie called Misery? I do! Now take out originality, stellar acting, great characters, thrills and suspense out of it, put some clown makeup on it and kick it a few times - what will u get? Celebrity Crush.

What Goes Around (2020)

Nothing to see here

[3/10 · 30 June 2020]

Not good ride at all, very slow, lots of people talking and looking at their phones. Its below Okish, watch and instantly forget.

Boar (II) (2017)

Big bad Boar will roar

[3/10 · 27 June 2020]

Very unrealistic giant boar creature movie that takes itself way too serious. If the overall tone was more light/self aware you could go past terrible CGI, bad acting, and very messy structure of this flick. The only decent part was non cgi animatronic boar head that looked pretty scary. All scenes with fully CGI boar were just terrible. Very forgettable creature feature.

The Houses October Built 2 (2017)

Big letdown

[3/10 · 26 June 2020]

After truly enjoyable first Hauses horror, this movie was really disappointing. To be honest it felt more like a long advertisement of various real life horror attractions than a movie. Very slow, no real pay off at the end. Pass on this one.

Funhouse (2019)

Not a 9/10 but definitely not 1/10

[6/10 · 17 June 2020]

I watched many low tier horror flicks but this is definitely not a complete waste of time. Its a bit too long, some of the cast is not amazing but hey, it is what it suppose to be - fun violent horror flick for sunday evening. It has some high points.

Underwater (2020)

Colossal disappointment

[3/10 · 28 March 2020]

I'm huge fan of creature feature horrors, especially ones set in space or underwater. To say this movie is a disappointment is a big understatement. Bland characters, bad casting, almost no character introductions, I didn't care about any of them, did't even remember one name, disappointing creature design, just... how did this happen? Yes its watchable but will I remember this movie? Absolutely not. This is not how you do it. Also, Kristen Stewart is a terrible actress. What a "great" start of 2020.

Bloodshot (2020)

Really great fun action movie

[7/10 · 27 March 2020]

I like to escape the grim reality and have fun watching good action packed movies. Bloodshot delivers in spades. Its fun, over the top sci-fi action flick with lovely Vin as a quasi robo cop/universal soldier. We have big muscle man, pretty girl, hi tech, fast paced action. Its a simple fun movie made purely to entertain. It also feels like good old school Arnold/Van Damme flicks at times.

The Platform (2019)

I'm not falling for it

[1/10 · 27 March 2020]

Somebody mentioned this movie is like Snowpiercer. And it is. It masquerades as a very deep meaningful experience, but in reality it isn't. Commentary in The Platform is actually very simple, visuals are not appealing and bland, the infamous "gore" is not that great, if you in to more story focused experience - there is almost non as well. Its not smart, its not "artsy", its not entertaining in any way. Its pointless. I truly hate movies like this, its one of the cases when I say - well this is 1h30min I wont get back.

A Night of Horror: Nightmare Radio (2019)

Its OK, nothing less or more

[5/10 · 25 March 2020]

Hard to rate this anthology anything than middle 5/10. Its not bad, its competently made but, at least for me, non of the stories stand out much. Comparing to for example some V/H/S episodes that haunts me to this day, this was rather forgettable experience. Still decent ride for avid horror fan.

Dark Skies (2013)

Aliens are good pranksters

[1/10 · 24 March 2020]

I absolutely hated this one, but what else could I expect from Hollywood "geniuses"? Once again highly advanced technological "aliens" are a bunch of bored grey tricksters that are so bored that they just have to mess with out house appliances and our kids. Laughable and stereotypical view on the subject.

Ouija (II) (2014)

Death is truly terrifying

[1/10 · 24 March 2020]

I'm sure when I'm dead there will be nothing better to do than mess with some dumb kids playing a board game. Terrible idea, bad execution, Oujia is everything that is wrong with modern horror from Hollywood.

The Purge (I) (2013)

One of the most stupid ones

[1/10 · 24 March 2020]

You want to tell me those masked kids could do literally ANYTHING during the "Purge" time yet they decided to camp outside the Ethan Hawke house doing nothing? Yeah, great story. This movie premise and script is insulting and stupid.