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neon_chaos
Reviews
Closer (2004)
Realistic? I hope not.
From my experience, the people who endlessly gush about Closer seem to be in complete awe of how realistically it portrays love and relationships. This deeply unsettles me. The characters in this movie are cruel, deceptive, indecisive, selfish, and generally just unlikable individuals. So you're telling me that, realistically speaking, love turns people into hateful monsters? Cynical much? This, I think, is where the movie fails. Sure, you can have an interesting story with a decent cast and all sorts of artsy frills, but when you get right down to it, what's the point if it's impossible to empathize with the characters? As the movie dragged on and on, I came to loathe all four of the leading characters and their almost adolescent shenanigans more and more. Yes, they were suffering, but I really didn't care. All of their problems they brought on themselves. By the end, I was so weary of them that I was actually pleased that they all turned out absolutely miserable. However, I'm sure that wasn't what the director intended.
Needless to say, I wasn't pleased. Honestly, who enjoys leaving a movie feeling oddly bitter, and with a nasty touch of schadenfreude?
L'isola degli uomini pesce (1979)
How misleading
I watched this movie only because I was under the impression that I was going to be treated to a cheesy horror flick. I mean, look at the tag line: "They're men turned inside out! And worse... they're still alive!" Does that not scream cheesy horror movie to you? And the then there's the title itself-- "Screamers." What a perfectly apt title for a horror movie, I thought! Unfortunately, I wasn't aware that the real title was, properly translated, "The Island of the Fishmen."
So, about an hour into watching this I realized that this was not a cheesy horror movie at all-- it was a cheesy "adventure" story about slimy fish-men from Atlantis. "Men turned inside out"? No. There was nothing of the sort. I was grossly disappointed.
Damn you, misleading taglines! I want those 81 minutes of my life back!