Change Your Image
luke-40
Reviews
Universal Soldier II: Brothers in Arms (1998)
I can't believe I sat through this!
This is quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen. It is sometimes so bad that you will laugh out loud. I can think of not one single positive thing to say about it and will finish merely by warning you not to waste 90 mins of your life with this absolute joke of a movie.
Orgazmo (1997)
I am Sancho
There are moments in this film that you will annoy your friends for years to come by repeating them over and over again. It is these extremely funny parts that hold together this film and make it one of the funniest I have seen for a long time. To summise, "I don't wanna sound queer or nothin', but unicorns kick ass!" I might also note that this film will seem all the more funny after a couple of beers.
The Lost Boys (1987)
In my top 5 of all time!
I will get straight to the point here, I love this film, it has got style and is certainly in my top 5 films of all time. The humour is dark and funny without ever becoming silly, and the characters work very well together. That said the main thing that pushes this film in to my top 5 is its brilliant soundtrack. This is my favorite movie soundtrack, and was around a long time before they were in fashion. If you have never seen this I really recommend it as a great alternative to all these modern Scream rip-off's.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
The worlds most expensive commercial
This film should have been the greatest of all time, it had everything going for it. A huge budget, a great storyline, already well established in the public eye and 20 years to work on it. What I cannot understand is why George Lucas felt he needed to create a film that was designed purely to sell merchandise. He has no need for the money so WHY? The result of all this is a third rate kids film. Yes it has great special effects but it does not make up for the complete absense of plot, structure and characterisation. I can find very little by way of good things to say about this film, and I hold little hope for the next two movies either, I just hope that the money Lucas made from selling Ja Ja Binks lunch-boxes makes up for the total loss of respect from every true star wars fan out there.
Miss Congeniality (2000)
Another Sandra Bullock 'chick flick'
This is a mild mannered and inoffensive film that know what its audience expects and delivers. Unfortunately this is all it delivers, a string of mild, feel-good, escapist humour. Admittedly, it is a watchable and mildly entertaining picture, but it fails to create even a single plot-twist or deviation from its incredibly formulatic approach to film making. If you're looking for a film to keep your girlfriend happy for a couple of hours this is just the ticket, but don't expect any surprises.
Meet the Parents (2000)
Could do better
This film is a based on a great concept, that should have spawned some really funny moments, but despite its quality cast I felt that many opportunities were wasted. That said, there are moments where you will laugh, just not enough. Meet The Parents is an enjoyable film that is worth watching and could have been much better if just a little more time had been spent on improving the script.
2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Am I missing something?
I tried to watch this film years ago, but gave up after half an hour through extreme boredom. Recently I tried again, and made myself sit through the entire thing. I kept thinking that something might actually happen soon, but no. This is one of the most over-rated and tedious films I have ever seen, and I can only assume that the people who have rated it so highly were stoned at the time.