juliamacon Reviews

Freaky (2020)

The Fun Horror Comedy We Need Right Now

[9/10 · 7 December 2020]

A serial killer steals an ancient magical dagger during one of his murder sprees and plunges it into the wrong teenage girl, causing them to switch bodies and it's up to her to convince her friends that she's now in the body of a man and that they have 24 hours to switch them back before they're trapped in each other's bodies forever.

Freaky might go more for the goofy than the truly funny at times, but there's an infectious sense of fun throughout and the performances are excellent across the board with Vine Vaughn and Kathryn Newton being given the most to work with and making the most of it. It's similar in tone to Christopher Landon's other horror comedies, so if you enjoy those, you're probably going to enjoy this one as well. If you didn't like this then this might not be for you, but there's an added bonus of this one being rated R which means it comes with a lot more gore than the Happy Death Day movies.

A Stranger Among the Living (2019)

Art House Meets Blumhouse

[9/10 · 17 November 2020]

A teacher wakes up from a terrifying dream predicting a shooting at the school where he works and, when he fails to prevent it thanks to an incompetent administration, he's haunted by the undead who want to get back at him for not trying harder to prevent it.

A Stranger Among the Living is an above average indie horror film that boasts a few strong performances and memorable scare sequences. There are a few slight lags in the pacing midway through and the ending might be more confounding than satisfying to some, but there's a creepy mood here that's undeniable and I found it really easy to get into the story. It also suffers a bit from being loaded with a few too many jump scares. While most are well timed and effective, a few come across as silly and the story is interesting enough to where it didn't need them and it feels as if the filmmakers might be trying to cater their slow burn, character driven horror film to the more ADD Blumhouse/Conjuring/Insidious generation.

Wrong Turn (I) (2003)

A Backwoods Slasher With Suspense

[8/10 · 3 October 2020]

After speeding his way through a backwoods shortcut, a young man plows into the car of 5 stranded motorists. They team up to find someone who can help them and access a phone and stumble into the home of blood thirsty cannibals who are intent on making them their next meal.

Wrong Turn is a simplistic slasher film, but it's executed with an abnormal amount of smarts and much more suspense than most films of this type, effectively raising the stakes throughout until the exciting conclusion. There aren't a lot of deep character moments or groundbreaking takes on the world around us, but it's an incredibly effective horror film that keeps you engrossed throughout. There's one scene involving an escape from a treetop inferno that'll have you on the edge of your seat.

Return of the Living Dead II (1988)

A Little on the Shrill Side

[6/10 · 3 October 2020]

In what's essentially a loose remake of the original, a barrel with a zombie inside falls out of a truck and is discovered by some kids. They open it, toxic fumes are unleashed, they get sick, and start craving brains. Soon enough, zombies are coming out of the ground with the same cravings for brains.

Return of the Living Dead Part II is a much sillier film than the original, which is saying a lot because the original could get pretty silly at times, too. James Karen and Thom Matthews return as different characters, but these characters are far more shrill, whiny, and annoying than the ones they played in the original. Even worse, there's a girlfriend character who only adds to the shrillness.

There are a couple of funny gags throughout the film, but it can't hold a candle to the original.

Terror Train (1980)

Decent Train-Set Slasher

[7/10 · 2 September 2020]

A mean spirited prank sends a coed into a mental hospital and he plans his sweet revenge on the classmates who sent him there while on a New Year's Eve train party.

It's a simple set up, but a lot of it is effective. There's a surprising lack of gore, but the killer's multiple disguises are downright eerie. A late in the game twist does genuinely surprise as well. Actors such as Ben Johnson, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Hart Bochner elevate the threadbare material throughout and the finale ends up being more intense than it probably should be as the masked madman terrorizes Curtis throughout the train.

Homicidal (1961)

Good Psycho Rip Off

[7/10 · 14 August 2020]

Homicidal is one of the most blatant rip offs of Psycho you're likely to see, but it has such a good time trying to hide that fact and go in its own direction that you can't help but love it. It's about a young woman who might have a little killing problem and a mysterious brother who makes life even more difficult for her.

William Castle might not be as masterful with the suspense as Hitchcock, but he knows how to spin an entertaining story.

Suspiria (I) (2018)

Don't Expect the Original

[7/10 · 30 July 2020]

Though it has essentially the exact same set up as Dario Argento's original masterpiece, this remake wisely opts for a different approach when it comes to all the details. We still have an American dancer coming to Germany in the late 70's to study ballet in a dance school that's a front for a coven of bloodthirsty witches, but everything else from the style, the performances, the gory set pieces, the tone, and the message are completely different.

The political backstory is entirely unnecessary and leads to nothing and a subplot involving a psychiatrist whose wife was killed in World War II adds a lot of heart, but can feel meandering at times and like an unwelcome houseguest every time it cuts to him when we'd much rather be learning about the shady underbelly of the dance academy and the relationships between the students and teachers.

Besides this, Suspiria is a brave and compelling re-imagining of a horror classic that takes big risks and delivers for more patient viewers expecting more than a simple retread of the original.

Pale Blood (1990)

Not Great

[4/10 · 3 July 2020]

I'm not a huge vampire fan, so I might be a little biased, but Pale Blood didn't do much for me. There's a lot of atmospheric late 80's/early 80's shots of L.A. nightlife which do add a lot to the film, but the story itself is uninteresting and it doesn't help that Chakiris is a charisma vacuum as the male lead. Wings Hauser plays his usual sleazoid predator like he did in so many other 80's exploitation movies. The story itself is a bit hard to follow and I'm still not sure I know what it was about.

The Spider Labyrinth (1988)

Some Really Startling Imagery

[6/10 · 9 April 2020]

The Spider Labyrinth, to my knowledge, has never had an official DVD/Blu-Ray release and that's a shame. Much of its power comes from its creepy visuals. The dialogue and a few plot developments don't always work, but there's no shortage of imaginative moments throughout.

A young man ravels overseas to see what the hold up is with a professor and finds the man incredibly paranoid to the point of stark raving mad. He's found murdered the next day and this leads to an investigation into the occult.

The Spider Labyrinth is similar in mood and story to some of Dario Argento's supernatural giallos and it also has a nicely paranoid feel like a Roman Polanski horror film. Maybe not everything works, but it's a journey worth taking.

Leprechaun 3 (1995 Video)

The Best Sequel

[7/10 · 30 March 2020]

Leprechaun 3 is cheesy, silly, and doesn't make much sense, but for a movie with a 3 at the end of its title and considering what came before (and after) it, it's much better than it has any right to me.

There are a few inspired set pieces here such as a sequence where a magician is sawed in half when their magic trick doesn't work and where scream queen Caroline Williams get a magical makeover that turns her into an inflatable sex doll. It's still not high art, but you could do a whole lot worse.

A Touch of Class (1973)

A Tough of Fun

[8/10 · 15 February 2020]

George Segal and Glenda Jackson make a surprisingly good couple in A Touch of Class. Jackson isn't usually known for her comic roles, but she's excellent, warm, and very funny here as a recently divorced clothing designer (who brags about stealing her designs from other top tier designers) who gets into a fling with a married man (George Segal). Every time they try to be alone, something terrible happens and comedy ensues.

Despite the slightly nauseating premise - a seemingly happily married man using a vulnerable woman for his own sexual jollies - A Touch of Class happens to be a lot of fun and takes the dilemma seriously. It treats Jackson's character with a ton of empathy and gives her the biggest character arc of the film, ending the film on a lovely, bittersweet, and powerful notes.

Some aspects might not have aged well, but it's still a good time and it's not as if relationships like this don't still happen all the time.

Stage Fright (1980)

We Know "Whodunit"

[5/10 · 29 December 2019]

Nightmares (or Stage Fright as it's known in some territories) has a lot going for it - moody cinematography, some sleaze, the potential for backstage theatrical drama, a little light satire, and some gore, but it squanders all of it because it has no idea what it wants to be.

A young actress named Helen who accidentally killed her adulterous mother in a car crash as a child wins a role in a major play and someone starts to killer her co-stars and co-workers with pieces of broken glass (just like how mom died!) Who could it be?

Well, frankly, it's blatantly obvious that it's Helen and the movie never even tries to disguise it for a second, which leaves the film feeling really hollow and sort of boring. They like to play it off as a mystery by just showing her hands and feet during the murder sequences, but they're not fooling us for a second. It also doesn't help that, psycho killer stuff aside, Helen is a pretty awful person. She flies off the handle at the drop of a hat and yells at her roommate and co-stars constantly. Are we supposed to feel for this shrew? She's awful! I assume we're supposed to root for her since none of her co-stars are given any sort of character development and most of them don't even seem to have names.

Most of Nightmares is so over the top that I assumed it was meant to be some sort of parody or satire of Hitchcock, De Palma, and the slasher genre of the time. Scenes of Helen flying off the handle and being slapped by her co-stars or scenes with her running to her room and having a shouting match with herself as her hapless boyfriend listens in horror are hysterically funny, but I can't tell if they were intentional or not. Certainly, the scenes involving the cruel play's director and the even crueler theatre critic are meant to be comic, but seem to exist as leftovers from a far better, more interesting film where everyone is in on the joke. Maybe Nightmares should have embraced the satirical nature of the story and gone wild with them.

As is, Nightmares is a torrent of missed opportunities and "what if"s. There are both a decent slasher/giallo and a satirical dark comedy in here fighting for screen time.

He Knows You're Alone (1980)

Suspense Over Gore

[7/10 · 29 December 2019]

He Knows You're Alone seemed to come pretty early in the 80's slasher boom, so it hues closer to Halloween than, say, Friday the 13th in the gore department. It fancies character development and suspense over cheesy effects and severed limbs flying everywhere and it's all the better for it.

Despite a silly detective subplot that feels unneeded (if we're being honest, most detective subplots in these kinds of movies are unneeded), He Knows You're Alone is a fairly well paced and suspenseful slasher film centering around Amy, a bride to be with cold feet, who's being stalked by a mysterious man. She sees him at the bridal store, ice cream shop, outside her window, and even in a carnival haunted house. He's definitely been taking a few pages from the Michael Myers playbook, because he's taking his sweet time to get to her by disposing of her friends and loved ones first, all the while a slightly familiar piano/synth theme plays.

This movie is mostly known for being the breakthrough film of Tom Hanks these days, but He Knows You're Alone stands quite well on its own two legs as a somewhat scary example of a slasher movie. It has its pacing issues here and there, but the characters are well drawn for a film of this type and that just adds to the suspense.

Black Christmas (2006)

Colorful and Silly Christmas Slasher

[4/10 · 12 December 2019]

If Black Christmas gets anything right, it's the colorful Christmas inspired lighting and photography. It's hard not to feel a little festive as the camera moves in and around the hallways of this sorority house covered with all sorts of colored lights as jaunty Christmas music plays in the distant background. It's only a shame this well crafted atmosphere isn't in service of a better movie.

Black Christmas is a remake of the 1974 film of the same name that involves a psychotic killer sneaking into the attic of a sorority house over Christmas break and tormenting the inhabitants with obscene and terrifying phone calls before killing them one by one. This is, more or less, the same set up for this film except, where the original featured a cast of interesting and well developed (certainly by slasher standards) characters, this film features an attractive group of young women who mostly look so much alike that you can't remember who's dead and who's not.

The killer, Billy, is unwisely brought out of the shadows and given a full sob story about an abusive mother who loved his sister more than she loved him, which caused him to go on a homicidal rampage many years prior. For some reason, he has a thing for plastic bags and ripping eyes out so, if you're into that, you're in luck - that's how he dispatches of pretty much every character in the film except for one death where a stray shard of ice does the dirty work for him.

It's hard to figure out what the creators of this film had in mind. It's long been rumored to have had serious studio interference, but the tone is all over the place. Is this supposed to be quite so campy? In the end, it doesn't work as a slice of slasher cheese, a full blown comedy, or a serious horror film.