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Crocodile Vengeance (2022)
The BEST "so bad it's good" movie in ages! Classic!
I loved Croc! The CGI is absolutely awful, to the point that it makes the film unwatchable. But if you can suspend your disbelief (and I'm talking an absolute tonne of disbelief), then what is left is a wonderfully entertaining script with some amazing quotes. I would urge anyone with a penchant for "so bad it's good" movies to give this a go as it's an absolute corker!
Man: It's a crocodile. And it's dangerous!
Woman: Jeez. Tell me something I don't know!!!
Man: You've got a twig in your hair!
Bridesmaid: We're gonna avenge your friend's death and kill that damn crocodile! Good!
Bride: Yeah!
Bridesmaid: Now is there anything else I can help you with!?
Bride: Make me a sandwich? I'm starving!!!
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)
The Movie Nick Cage Was Born to Make
I love Nicholas Cage. I've been a fan since Leaving Las Vegas and I love his work ethic and the bizarre roles and the inhumanly prolific output.
TUWOMT is a love letter to all of that, the excessive over-acting, THE BEES and every iconic classic he's been a part of. It's piss-yourself-laughing funny in places, and sad and uplifting and action-packed. Just as eclectic as Cage.
But it wouldn't work without an equally brilliant co-star and Pedro Pascal is absolutely wonderful.
Borderline genius!
Swiss Army Man (2016)
The weirdest relationship in the history of cinema
Swiss Army Man is a simple tale of man meets corpse, corpse has magical farting abilities, throbbing trouser python action and multi tool usefulness. It's equal parts bromance, love story, surrealist nonsense and crass toilet humour puerile comedy. But it's also moving and uplifting whilst being horrifically sad. Whatever the bleep it is, it's rather wonderful and I think, for me, the best movie Radcliffe has been in. Just leave any notion of reality at the door before you check in. Farting speed-corpses ahoy!
Big Gold Brick (2022)
Surreal, bonkers and occasionally laugh out loud funny
Big Gold Brick is not a perfect movie but it's pretty bloody good. Anyone expecting a mainstream comedy will find that this really doesn't fit that bill. It's bizarre and surreal and chucks the laws of physics out the window. Being John Malkovich it definitely isn't but there are occasional parallels in terms of tone and strangeness.
It misses the mark sometimes, Lucy Hale is criminally under-utilised, the lead isn't always great (Garcia however is) but there are enough hilarious moments and the bizarre plot is interesting enough to earn this a perhaps slightly generous 7/10.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Utterly Pointless and Bitterly Disappointing
Resurrections is as subtle a ploy as digging up grandma and zapping her with a defibrillator. Fruitless, pointless and incredibly distasteful. Neo sums it up in Resurrections when he says words to the effect of everything he ever did previously meant nothing. And that's exactly what this movie does. It cheapens everything that has gone before and insults the fan base for the sake of making some money.
Let me qualify this by saying I am old enough to have watched the three previous movies in the cinema! I don't share the hatred some have for Reloaded and Revelations - I quite enjoyed them. But like or loathe, the first three movies tied up the story and left it pretty much as a done deal.
Primer (2004)
My Favourite Movie of All Time
I've seen and rated almost 2600 movies on IMDB and of these Primer is by some margin, my favourite.
A bunch of Silicon Valley tech types create something in their friend's garage. Except they don't really know what it does. Until Abe and Aaron break from the group and go it alone, only then do they realise they've accidentally made possibly the greatest discovery in history.
Primer is hellishly complicated. Forget Back to the Future! The timeline in the movie covers at least seven or eight different periods. And just when you think you've cracked it there's a twist or a double-cross to confuse things even more. There is even a timeline that doesn't actually feature in the movie and we're only made aware of it by the most subtle of clues.
People talk about the script being complex and, true it doesn't dumb down any of the science, but it's not unfathomable.
The acting is great. Aaron and Abe are believable and realistic. The conflict in the relationship is really insightful, as is how they approach trust, friendship and protecting their success from one another.
I've watched several videos about Primer and have read through several diagrams of the timelines and I still wouldn't be able to explain all the detail from the last half hour. But I do keep trying! And that, is what makes Primer so special for me. Even after seeing it maybe seven or eight times I am still finding something new every time I sit down and watch it.
So, if you fancy switching off your brain and relaxing with a movie, you really need to find something else. But if you fancy a genuine challenge and accept that you will need at least a second viewing to get the most out of it, then Primer will quite literally blow your mind.
Things Heard & Seen (2021)
Really Excellent Take on the Genre - Loved It!
I can't relate at all to the negative reviews. This is a well made film with some excellent acting and a really unique take on the ghost/haunting thriller genre. THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY A HORROR MOVIE. And if you come to it thinking it is or expecting the usual jumps and gore you're likely to be disappointed. What is is, is an excellent thriller with big supernatural elements and the focus is very much on feminism and the treatment of women by men in the past - with stark parallels from today's news and media. One of the better movies to come from Netflix.
Brimstone (2016)
Dark, horrific, bleak and unrelenting
A genuinely shocking and disturbing epic following one woman's tragic story through three different periods of time. It's really not comfortable viewing as and it is absolutely unrelenting as the protagonist is hurled from one hellish existence to the next.
Savage (2019)
It's not Once Were Warriors...
...but it's a decent and watchable effort to bring something of that trope bang up to date. The script makes it challenging to relate to the characters who are portrayed as barking dogs much of the time. But the acting brings to life a wealth of emotion that goes unsaid. Some characters feel like add-ons or padding. But it's a great effort. And the makeup is very true to life.
Vivarium (2019)
Way Better Than its Score Suggests - The Reason?
I wonder if the score for Vivarium on IMDB is so low because people come to it not knowing what to expect and the majority end up disappointed! It's not a straightforward horror or thriller - in fact it's very difficult to classify. What it is, is a metaphor for modern life and gender roles in Western society. And it's presented in a pretty surreal way that makes little sense until it's placed in this context. That done, it's rather wonderful!
La casa de papel (2017)
Meh
Three times I've given this a chance and three times I've gotten to episode 5 or 6 and just gone, "Meh!" I don't like any of the characters, they behave in the most annoying ways that are in blatant conflict with the main plot and, oh, well, just Meh! Basically.
The Night Clerk (2020)
A Wonderful Surprise
I knew nothing about this movie before watching and therefore had no expectations. I was really blown away. It's a slow burn thriller - in spite of its short run time - with compelling performances by both lead actors and it pulls off the achievement or being both bleak and uplifting with equal aplomb.