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Don't Move (2024)
Run of the mill Netflix / Bulgarian production
"Don't move (2024)" lacks the depth and breath to make it into a good big-screen movie. It only has 6 or7 actors in it, the dialogues are childish and the editing is rushed (inconsistency between takes etc.) and I felt the character of the villain is unrealistic, however, as a light streaming movie I found it to be ok and therefore gave it a very generous passing grade.
If you look at this movie through a realism lens you will be surely disappointed. Even if the serum did work the way it is described, there is no way to predict the exact minute when the body shut down and wake up, or create "burst of energy", biology doesn't work this way, and even if it did, it would depend on the body weight, metabolism and other medical parameters. But, it's just a movie so nobody cares, right?
Well, how about the figure of the villain "Richard", willing to go through several manslaughter crimes just to have a - what ? Fun night, while still having a normal family. The scene where he just spews the serum into air instead of injecting the victim a 2nd time just doesn't make any sense. While it is not clear to us exactly what his plan was, it does seem like just knocking the victim out would be much simpler.
The description of the movie says "She must run, fight and hide before her body shuts down" and that actually a really small part of the movie. I can't even tell if it would be better that way, or the way it was done where they are together most of the time.
Overall it seems this "can't move" pazzazle is nothing more than an attempt to draw people into watching this movie, which fails to deliver big rush, empathy or excitement. It is a lackluster endeavor which is barely held together by an attractive lead actor.
It is one of these movies that you would be ok with if you come in with the right expectations. If you are looking for a gripping thriller with deep story you should look somewhere else (possibly not even on Netflix). Exact score: 55 / 100.
Never Let Go (2024)
Great film production too bad it keeps torturing the audience for no good reason
It seems that the goal of the writers was to confuse the audience and keep them guessing if Momma (Halle Berry) is delusional or it is really an apocalyptic world with demons in it. They give you a hint but then take it away as a maybe. While this might be fun for a while it really gets annoying towards the end. This, combined with many irrationalities and breaking of internal rules (I'll explain later), stopped me from giving this a real high score. It is too bad since otherwise it is a worthy production with great acting (from both Halle and the two boys) and direction (by Alexandre Aja)
-- warning - spoilers ahead - continue reading only if you've seen the movie already --
So what's going on in the story? Momma is not delusional since we see at the end that Sam is evil, he attacks his brother, speaks like the evil spirit and has a photo of the lizard hand. However, it was also _not_ true that the rest of the world is empty, as we see nice people helping them with the helicopter, which also logically means that the hiker was real, and a good person at that. His daughter was also real, but was taken over by the evil prob when she stepped out of the car and she "infects" Sam due to his weakness to girls. The question remains why only Momma sees the evil at the beginning, for example when she takes her own life? One possible answer is that Momma can see dead people who are possessed and the kids can only see live possessed people (like the blond child or Sam himself). The evil being is a snake-like green monster which we see vaporizing near the end.
Also, if the story about the rest of the world being "wiped-out" is false, what does that mean? If it was true at some point in the past, maybe humanity found a "cure" or a way to get rid of it, that would be a good situation. 2nd option is that Momma had the wrong information and evil existed only in the woods and most people did not meet it. That's a much scarier and grimmer situation because Sam is now carrying it into civilization.
More irrationalities - The evil cannot touch the house, let alone get into it, however the possessed Sam seem to have no problem operating in the house and touching the sacred wood, cutting the rope etc. Speaking of which, how many times have the rope being cut by one swing of a knife? In particular sitting on a soft ground, that's just not going to happen.
Another annoying thing for me was the family inability to find food. Set some traps, there are so many animals in the woods, birds etc. Can't catch anything with the crossbow, it is simply annoying.
Some people say the whole movie is an allegory. You do get strong Christianity and biblical vibes from the movie, but I think the writers were just inspired by it, it does not actually help to understand the story. G-o-d will usually save the devout, but in this story is quite the opposite, Nolan saves the day but the mom and Sam are lost.
To conclude, I like movies that are not just plain slashers, movies that make you think after you have left the theater and Never Let Go does a lot of things right, but there were too many turnoffs for me and the rope is just silly. It is a solid movie, worth watching, but leaves a lot to be desired in terms of story. Exact score: 68 / 100.
Bad Boys: Ride or Die (2024)
Too many guns and not enough puns
Truthfully, I feel bad for the poor souls that were duped into watching this in the theater. The real bad boys here are Sony and Columbia pictures who are giving us a shameful example of how to milk a franchise to the bone. On top of that there are several product placements that becomes annoying and silly and make the character of Marcus look like a sugar-hyped drunken addict.
The first 2 minutes of the movie are promising. We get a taste of the good old "Bad Boys" series, where Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) is the cool dangerous cop and Marcus (Martin Lawrence) is the soft, comic relief, but the following ~2 hours are a complete mess, where our heroes trying to clear the name of their beloved late captain Howard after he's being framed by the cartel. Having to go through their own name smearing, several mediocre CGI scenes and multiple 'F' bombs. Plus, you will never guess who is behind all this (unless you are over the age of 9, in which case you will guess it within 10 minutes)
Any saving grace for this movie? In general acting is not bad and the audience gets a super dose of gunfights and explosions, also fight choreography is decent. So if you're in for a "brain-dead" forgettable movie this could make 2 hours go by quickly.
Overall this movie is a real disappointment for the fans of the franchise. Those who remember how good Bad Boys I and II were. Not because they carry a huge amount of body-count, or have crazy CGI camera spins, but rather those who truly make you connect with the characters, laugh at their jokes and feel their misery.
Some of the scenes are so bad here, I'm pretty sure they were improvised on the spot (like the grill scene and the wedding scene as an example). Some movies have great improvisation and comedic excellence, but not here, as the entire script is just miserable, and lacking any sense of good humor.
Oooh, btw- there is a hidden scene way deep into the credits. I'm sure not many people stayed around for that long, but don't worry if you missed it, that scene is, unsurprisingly, another dud. Exact score: 54 / 100.
Skincare (2024)
Crying all the way to the Banks
Was this in theaters? It looks and feel like a made-for-streaming movie. Banks looks great in the movie, and... that's about it.
The plot is bland, very predictable, Nothing much to do with skincare, this could have been about fashion, cakes, anything really.
They could have done something smart like having a toxic skincare product or something like that but no.
The villains are a joke and the main character (Banks) is not very smart, or at least not acting like one. The only good trick she pulled is with that TV anchor.
Presumably, based on a true story, but if its linear and boring who cares if its true? Make it interesting at least.
There is nothing at the end of what happened to the real people, so for all intent and purpose this could just as well be made up.
Anyway, if you're into Elizabeth Banks and skin products you might endure this move for 1.5 hrs, but the rest should stay away, seriously not worth your $$ even for streaming.
Exact score: 51 / 100.
Alien: Romulus (2024)
Well done rehash of old materials
This is serious. An addition to one of the greatest, if not _the_ greatest, SCI-FI franchise of all times. I recently re-watched Alien from 1979, and to be honest although the story is great, it definitely showing its age, making Aliens from 1986 the best movie in the franchise IMHO. Can you make something in that caliber today? Quite possibly, but "Alien: Romulus" is not it.
There are a lot going for "Alien: Romulus", great CGI, the aliens are well-made and they were not limited to a certain time period or certain characters, however they missed on making a real substantial addition to the franchise, or adding to the lore, leaving it at a distant 4th best overall for me.
The fact that it is not happening in actual "deep space" made the fear factor much lower for me. I was also disappointed in the fact that most of the movie is a rehash of scenes that we already saw many times before. The speeding up of the alien life-cycle again reduces from tension building and sometimes looks even comical. The actors are almost teen-agers, which may be popular to some, but I would rather see professionals deal with Aliens situation.
There is a fundamental problem with this movie- If it was made for hard-core fans that know everything about the aliens you will not be impressed by anything else other than the good CGI. If you are new to the series you might miss on many hints and innuendoes from the other films that build tension, it's a lose-lose premise.
The producers walked a thin line between horror, action and teenage movie but I would rather they made a clearer choice, especially in terms of story, it's not bad, but could have been a lot better. Our theater was half-empty and several people got up an left mid-way. I'm not sure why, since it's not a bad movie, but personally I expected a little bit more.
Exact score: 72 / 100. R-rated for scary monsters images, and depiction of deaths but surprisingly almost no blood.
Trap (2024)
Childish and full of holes but I've seen much worse
I do not think "Trap" is a bad movie. Sure it is childish, as if it was written by a teenager and there are so many plot holes, but we'll get to that later. What's good about "Trap" is that it is not trying to be more than what it is. A simple PG-13 movie that includes good music and good pacing of the plot. The acting by Ariel Donoghue ("Riley") is also commendable and I would rate the other actors performance as "okay" or above average.
My biggest let-down from "Trap" is that after the first plot-twist (revealing that the nice dad is actually the bad guy in this story) there are no more twists and the story is just linear, somewhat unrealistic, with occasional surprised in the cat & mouse game the dad plays with the police and the FBI.
I really felt like a twist would help this movie (M. Night hope you are listening) example 1: The Firefighting dad is actually a good guy and the video he was watching is a hacked stream he was trying to track, or, 2: have the mom be a part of the scheme and she is even worse than the husband near the end. Anyway, without a twist you just keep waiting for something that never happens.
More suggestions: when you build a character, why not think how would that character react in a certain situation. For example, if the mom tipped the police, why would she be so surprised, why not protect herself otherwise, why not hire a PI? The famous singer- no way you would risk yourself like that to (maybe) save a stranger you don't even know if is real, there are many small thing like that, which could have been written a lot better.
But now, lets get back to the good: I think Saleka Shyamalan is really talented. I'm not a fan of teenage songs by a long-shot but her performance is more than tolerable and so is her acting. I can see a flock of teenage girls following her. Having most of the movie plot happen inside a concert arena is tricky, but here it is pulled off nicely and time split between police-action and on-stage singing is nicely done. To my surprise I enjoyed that idea quite a lot.
Overall, even though this flick looks like a made-for-TV movie, I've seen much worse, even from Shyamalan himself (like "the watchers") to me it was an interested 1.5 hours, just came out annoyed at all that wasted potential. Exact score: 68 / 100.
Longlegs (2024)
Extremely disaapointing, another dud from Perkins and Cage
I was excited to see this movie, I was hoping for a solid serial killer investigation with "silence of the lambs" vibes to it, instead I got a flibberflop plot with flat characters, non-sensical actions and mediocre, almost B-movie visuals. On top of that, the movie is not scary at all, sure there are a couple of jump-scares and eerie music and a little bit of blood here and there but its one of the most tamed "horror' movies I ever seen, and that's on both accounts of visuals and atmosphere.
Lets talk about the main character, agent Lee Harper, played by Maika Monroe. It is what we refer to as a "non-speaking" role, she barely has any text and looks like she is shell-shocked 90% of the time. Building her up to have psychic abilities (or very good hunches) is promising but then never really used to do anything. It would be better if she was just "smart" and explain to us, the viewers, how she decoded longlegs letters. Also her relationship with her mom is just ridiculous and her "Spidy Sense" never fired even once?? How is that possible??
Second, the slow burn. Almost fell asleep mid-way. There are great slow-burn movies who take their time to dig into the characters and build up tension. Here is it just slow, or in other words, boring. Seems like the only times the plot is moving forward is when the director decided to go to the next scene. Oh, ok, she finds a picture. Sure, next scene Longlegs is arrested, oh next scene birthday scene. It is just stupid.
Thirdly, dialogue. I "Silence of the Lambs", Claris spends hours in interviewing Hannibal and creating a psychological profile. Here Longlegs doesn't say much, other than looking like the aging grandpa of "IT" he is not even intimidating and he is just mumbling nonsense the entire time. You can't have this slow-burn without a great dialogue and "Longlegs" just doesn't have it. Give me one memorable line from the movie- bet you you can't.
The film was a big disappointment to me. I am used to Nicholas Cage's dance with the devil sort of speak, using weird lyrics, musical and story-lines, but here is just a bad movie, Osgood Perkins seems to have lost his tracks a few years ago and never came back.
Exact score: 44 / 100. Really just a time-waster and another addition to Nicholas Cage's dumpster bin. Watch if you have nothing better to do and in the mood for a B-movie.
A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
from 90db to 0db
In general, these suppressed dialogue movies (For whatever reason) are not may favorite, so I came into watching "A Quiet Place: Day One" with low expectations, and I would say the film pretty much matched those.
In vacuum, this is no more than a mediocre sci-fi disaster films with ok acting, and fine filmography. Monsters (which are obviously CGI'd) are ok but nothing special. However since it is a franchise movie that tells how it "all started" there is some extra interest here. Too bad it is empirically makes no sense-
sound-waves are still carried by air, there is no way a falling book will attract so many creatures. Can you imagine how many sounds "they" hear from all directions? If they were human they would probably be hospitalized for "hearing things" within 10 minutes 😆
Also the ending is way too cheesy, no spoilers here but it was a very eye-roller moment for me. Again didn't make much sense but fits with the rest of the movie.
Judgement call - worth watching to pass an evening, it is not really scary or emotional but it is a fine addition to this "safe" sci-fi franchise.
Exact score: 57 / 100.
Breathe (2024)
Makes no sense, don't waste your money
Watched this on a plane. It did its job of entertaining me for 1.5 hrs so hence the 4 rating, but really the promise of seeing Milla Jovovich (5th element, Resident Evil) and Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson in a post-apocalyptic sci-fi movie might seem very attractive, but it is a complete hack. The movie is low-budgeted, the story is boring, stupid and repetitive. It is basically a low-form version of a house invasion, where the characters act with no real survival skills (which you assume they would have by living in harsh condition for what presumably is 4 years of no human contact)
Oh yeah, "Common" is there too, but only for the first 5 minutes or so (probably couldn't afford his undeserved paycheck), he dies, catch this, for going to bury his dad that dies because he fell through a hole in the floor, leaving his only family behind. We later find out it *might* be because the life-support system could only support 2 people. I would assume that being the "great engineer" they put him to be he would spend his days working on improving the system or building a 2nd replica, or improving the breathing machine, for example, do you realize a simple tube to the nose will do the trick? You don't need a full face-mask, you're not in space the air pressure outside it fine!
Second thing - the car, oh my. A regular BMW 525, there is a gas-tank opening, is this a hybrid? Why does the car look like that in 2030, it is because production made this car for the $1,000 budget they had. There is a nice meter & battery reader in the car, why they big surprise when the car stops? Also if they only drove for a few miles, why is complete darkness outside, and on and on. Btw- the overlay sound effect to make it sound like it is an electric motor is just ridiculous and shows how low budgeted the production is.
Bottom line - this is a cheap attempt at money grab, almost like they asked AI what is the most effective cheap and popular movie title, which actors should be in it. Unfortunately it also look like they let an AI write the script, leaving no chance for the actors to perform even remotely well, since they are put in a ridiculous line of events.
The ending has the same lackluster taste as the rest of the movie. At least it ends on a positive note, gives you enough energy to go watch the next movie and forget all about this one. Ok for watching on a plane, very much not recommended otherwise.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
Bustin' makes me feel good
Although this is by definition a "children's movie" it kept me interested throughout, non-stop action and good visuals. It gave screen time to all the new-age actors- Paul Rudd (Antman), Finn Wolfhand (Stranger Things), Kumail Nanjiani (Silicon Valley) and the old-age actors like Bill Murray and Dan Akroyd and many others.
However, this movie also is not without its faults. First, the story is flat and there is not really any emotional development of the characters, it is just built up on top of the previous movies.
Story? An ancient god is going to freeze the world over and free all the old ghosts that are kept in the fridge. Super predictable and the "bad guys" are laughable in a way you could only wish the adult winks were. Just when it was starting to get funny, like with the "ghost" technician coming in- it was not.
Coming to think of it, the Ghostbusters did more harm in this movie, than if they did not exist at all, but who cares, right? It's just a children's ghost story.
The best thing in this franchise is still the (unchanged) theme song from 1984. Please do not change that and I'll keep watching every sequel, but please spend some production money on real writers. Trade these annoying marshmallow men for better jokes, their time has passed.
Exact score: 6.66 / 10 (rounded up to 7)
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
Beautifly made, but too long for this bland story
Really wanted to like this movie. I am a big fan of the PotA franchise, however although this movie encapsulates great visuals and dramatic scenes, it doesn't come close to the heights of the original movie (1968) the remake (2001) or, my personal favorite, "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" from 2011.
My two main grimes with Kingdom is: A. It doesn't really add anything to the franchise, it doesn't help to explain anything as a prequel, nor that it builds up any characters or society that was seen at the 1968 movie. B. It concentrates too much on the Apes. Most successful movies in the franchise show the interaction between apes and humans (in different stages of evolution) but here it is minimal and mostly shows Apes fighting each other.
For some reason I also saw religious / Christian themes surrounding the movie. It didn't really bother me, but also didn't help the film much. The film feels too long as is, most of the reason is that it deals with petty issues instead of the bigger problems (what happened to humanity for example). Fans of the franchise will recognize several elements from the 1st movie themes here (like the doll in a cave) but it is very much meaningless in a vacuum.
Maybe this is one too many movies in the franchise, is there no more story to tell? I Is Hollywood doomed to movies with beautiful CGI scenery and AI level of story-writing? I do hope not, and I am optimistic about seeing a good PotA movie being made in the next few years.
Exact score: 67 / 100. Guide: PG-13; Some violence, no sex, no nudity, blood but no gore.
Cemitério (2024)
Very dissapointing drivel
Let me "spoil" the movie for you: it's BAD. Seeing Mel Gibson as a lead actor and watching the decent trailer might make you ponder about watching this movie. DON'T. It is a meaningless drivel, the acting is horrible and the technical aspects of camera-work, special effects and editing is an insult to movie-making.
My mind still boggles about Mel Gibson even agreeing to participate in movie like this, is his life so bad right now? I can see a non-actor like 50-cents making some side money with an easy appearance, but even Boo Boo Curtis can probably find something better to spend their time on.
Since minute-1 you can see it's a B-movie, but some B-movies are watchable, even enjoyable, but this is bad start-to-finish and not in a cute-bad, the dialogues are like being performed by 3rd graders, the filming is shaky and seem to be filmed with an old Nokia phone (at least the outside parts). I don't think anybody that's not on drugs can watch this in a stretch (I skipped). I feel bad for the editors that had to watch this for multiple hours and copy film bits from different places to fill-in where not enough material was present.
Also what's with all these 10/10 reviews on IMDB? Did the production team pay everyone on set $10 to go write a review? Has society lost its backbone?
Anyway, no need to add much - it is as bad as they come, the fact that there are "real" events don't even come into play. Aside from a few minutes where Mel actually appears, it is a no-for-human-consumption kind of material. Wishing full recovery to everyone who worked on this turd.
The Watchers (2024)
A complete bore fest
Ishana Shyamalan (M. Night Shyamalan daughter) directs this horror film in a perfect family tradition of creating a movie that is progressively worse than the one before it. M. Night have not made a really good movie in his later career, and this one is worst than his worst one, to the point where it is almost a B-movie.
Story: An American girl is taking a trip to deliver a bird between two remote places in Ireland. The girl (Dakota Fenning) is socially isolated and do not have real friends and detaches herself from her family. This would cost her since she is stuck in the woods alone. Luckily she finds a shelter with some collection of weirdos that are subjected to some sort of monster-aliens that keeps them in a hut equipped with a large one-side mirror so they can watch them. Kind of a big-brother IRL, only a one that makes close to zero sense.
Unlike "Big Brother" show where dramatic dialogues are aplenty, in "The Watchers" there is almost no dialogue, and when there is, it is not what normal people will say / do in that situation and it is just plain boring. Dakota Fanning acting is stiff, and while not being the worst I've seen, together with again sub-par acting from Olwen Fouéré and the rest of the supporting actors, it is really not a fun watch. Maybe they were trying to bore the Watchers to death? IDK
The movie is not scary in the way a horror film should, neither it is new, fresh or interesting. It is no more than a lousy nepotism attempt in getting Ishana into the movie industry. It is safe, based on a novel, there is safe photography, semi-recognizable lead, and most action is in a single place that can be easily created with CGI or filmed in a small studio, to keep the cost down. To me it was a plain middle finger poke into the eyeball of moviegoers.
I did not stay till the end. I'm not going to finish the stream later either. It is not enjoyable, neither it is eye pleasing or scary. Unfortunately I don't think it is the last we will hear from Ishana. The only hope is that in some miraculous way, the Shyamalans can somehow turn the tide and produce a good non-safe movie in the future that is actually worth their legacy name.
Two thumbs down from me. Exact score: 38 / 100.
Trigger Warning (2024)
Unlike good wine, Alba did not get better with time
I was hoping to get a fun action movie with some great protagonist and possibly a couple of bikini shots, instead, Trigger Warning is a mundane, unimaginative and boring B-movie.
A special forces soldier (of some sort, it is not fully explained) is coming back to her hometown after a notice of her dad passing away. She plans to leave after the funereal (which never happens for some reason) but instead dragged into a cause-of-death investigation that is kind of obvious from minute one.
The opening scene is promising, we get some chase action and some cool CGI work, but don't get your hopes high, nothing like that is to be found in the rest of the movie, possibly the entire budget (which I'm guessing was not high to begin with) was spent on this 2 minutes opening scene, leaving the rest of the movie to happen in several houses and couple of bar settings.
Most of the action in the movie is Alba hand-combat with other town-people. It is hard to tell who is good or bad, the story keeps bouncing around due to shoddy editing creating many plot holes (for example, inconstant clothing and makeup, puncturing one tire and then next scene two tires are punctured etc etc.)
If you were hoping to see Alba's physique you will be disappointed as well, the most you will see is her bare shoulder or injured arm. The fighting scenes are mediocre and becoming repetitive and boring at some point.
I will not be able to spoil the movie for you since I have not watched it till the end, but I'm sure it's a bad guy lose, good girl wins kind of a situation. There are so many better bar revenge movies (like Royal Hotel, Road House etc) you should not waste your time on the Netflix junk.
Exact score: 43 / 100.
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
A great female lead in a solid action movie
In this worthy prequel addition to the Mad Max saga, we get a great story, relevancy to previous films of the franchise and great acting from Furiosa, both as a girl (Alyla Browne) and as an adult (Anya Taylor-Joy). Also Chris Hemsworth is doing a great job as the villain, with the help of many well directed supporting actors.
Furiosa tells the story of a girl since childhood and through adulthood, being tossed around in the wastelands, a barren sandy place for the most part festered with violent gangs competing for resources, mostly gas and food. Furiosa's bravery and smarts helps her survive through many tough experiences. The movies is full with action and chases, but also does not lack meaningful dialogues and emotions.
I will rank it is the best movie in the franchise, maybe only falters to the excellent "Fury Road" from a decade ago. My biggest, and maybe only criticism of this movie, is that it becomes a bit stuck and repetitive in the 3rd act and the ending is not strong enough to make-up for that. The 2-and-a-half hours pass quickly but it does feel like a 2hr+ movie that could have been compressed towards the ending and some bigger impact could have been reached there.
Noticeably, Furiosa gets its 'R' rating from what I would call "disturbing imagery'. There is no nudity or sex in the movie (just implied), no drug use, and even use of blood is very minimal, but it does show dystopian situations and implied torture that easily carries it into 'R' territory, and those images are aplenty. There is not a minutes passing by that somebody isn't killed or at least severely injured.
Should you go see Furiosa? I would say definitely yes, however make sure you can stomach violence nature of this franchise. Exact score: 73 / 100.
Civil War (2024)
Doesn't hold back on visuals, but does hold back on story
I couldn't get around the fact that no backstory is given here. Overall I found the movie promoting scare by showing people and soldiers running around with weapons but overall doesn't make much sense. On top of that it is a bit boring at times and the soundtrack is cringe. Here is my summary breakdown.
Production value - 8 / 10 - good filming camera work and after-effects work, from that respect it is a very good film
Story / Dialogue - 4 /10 - flat characters, boring action, not explaining why and what, cliche and lacks emotion
Acting - 6 / 10 - very good talent here, Dunst is doing a good job along with countless supporting actors, However due to flat dialogue and low chemistry between the various actors it falls flat.
Overall message - 4 / 10 - war is bad m'kay? But we all already know that, what leads to the war? Why should we care about journalist that don't help anybody and just get in the way?
Soundtrack - 3 /10 - other than the ending theme I didn't find the soundtrack appealing at all, it was almost done to annoy the viewers, thumbs down from me.
I have great trust in my fellow Americans, therefore you'll have to do a lot more to convince me that such degradation of public peace can happen, and if you do just make up silly stuff, please at least make it more interesting.
Exact score 56 / 100, guide: R rated for Very strong imagery, blood and gun violence, no nudity or sex (unfortunately)
Abigail (2024)
I'm just tired of these brainless gory teenage movies
Common, you know the "twist" from just reading the movie description, don't even need to watch the trailer. Ok, so no twist, what's next? Let's do a cool vampire movie, when they immediately explode when exposed to the slightest sign of sunlight. Oh yes, they should also explode when a stake is put through their heart. Yes, what else? Oh yeah, wouldn't it be cool if they can turn to a vampire in 20 seconds after being bitten? Who wants to wait for a transformation like in the old movies, those were crap, right?
Oh, but most important - lets keep the characters act like they are 3 years-old and make the worst decisions at any possible time, even if they are supposed to be ex-cops or ex-military or whatever, they should really be scared of a little girl with some teeth on her, and when she is out cold lets not tie her up, instead lets put her in an elevator cage that a dog can break out of in 5 minutes.
And it just goes on and on like this for 90+ minutes, unclear what these morons are doing there and why they turn on each other so easily, and why do they all even have to stay there. It's like a really bad "Knifes Out" which was, by itself, super overrated.
I'm just tired of these stupid bloody teenage movies. It really isn't good, it's not funny and it's nothing but a total waste of time. I do not understand the high ratings these movies get on IMDB,
It's not even about bad acting, Kevin Durand went on to participate in Kingdom of the apes and Melissa Barrera is decent, but the texts they are given here are sooo bad most of the time I felt embarrassed for the actors.
Bottom line, watchable if you have absolutely nothing better to do, and I mean *nothing* better. Exact score: 44 / 100.
Dune: Part Two (2024)
I rather eat sand
Never read the books. I have no idea if this is a good adaptation or not. What I do know that my daughter asked to leaved the theater after 1 hr in, and I was secretly relieved. The movie simply wasn't enjoyable for me and it was not showing any signs of getting better.
Having managed to get through the first Dune installment, I expected more from the sequel. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a tedious, predictable narrative that follows the well-worn path of countless rebel-versus-conqueror stories. Regrettably, it lacks even a fraction of the brilliance found in similar idea masterpieces like Star Wars.
The use of a fictional language is charming initially, but it quickly wears thin. Unlike Star Wars, where snippets of an obscure tribal language add authenticity, here we're forced to endure the subtitles for 80% of the time. Yes, it's science fiction, but that doesn't excuse nonsensical plot points. For instance, the rebels manage to destroy a massive machine with a single shot. What weapon did they use? With this kind of weapon they surely do not have to risk themselves running on the sand. How did they acquire it? Why do they even care? And where did they find all that machinery and perfectly tailored clothing?
On a positive note, Cinemark was gracious. As members, we received credit for another movie. They handled our request for a refund without fuss. Apparently we were not the first to step out and ask our money back. Frankly, enduring another two hours of this disappointment was not something I wanted to endure.
As for the film's fan base, I'm puzzled. Are die-hard sci-fi enthusiasts who live and breathe the book the primary audience? Or perhaps it's the same crowd that protests in the streets, passionately defending their interpretation of rebellion. From a cinematic perspective, this movie is not good. The cinematography relies heavily on mediocre CGI, and the worm monsters remain hidden and poorly portrayed. Despite the presence of high-profile actors, their lines are disappointingly lackluster with several "oh please" moments.
I recognize that my opinion puts me in the minority. Still, I won't blindly follow the crowd and I most certainly will _not_ eat their spice. I recommend you don't go blindly into watching this even if asked so by a cute girl 💓
RoboCop (2014)
Not a remake. An outstanding refresh (10 year anniversay review)
I watched this as part of the 10 year anniversary for this movie. Surprisingly it held the test of time very well. The CGI is done professionally and would not shame any 2023 film, unlike the original 1987 movie which obviously suffers from lack of CGI and the outdated stop-motion technology. The acting is great and Michael Keaton is top-notch as always. The other actors, while might win any Oscars for their roles, they are, again doing an above average job that surpasses, in my opinion, the acting quality of the 1987 movie.
Regarding the story, as you may already know it is loosely based on the original movie, however it is completely fresh and different, and in my opinion, better. In the original, Alex's family barely plays a role, but here the wife & kid are playing an important role and it is was a great and emotional improvement. The doctor (Gary Oldman) plays an important role too and helps to show the internal conflict of a person who is a decent human being but being pressured by money and politics.
Not everything is perfect in this 2014 version. Some of the scenes are more than "unbelievable" and have over the top action. Also, the quick changes the doctor can make to Alex are almost laughable. Some of the decisions of the "mastremind" are questionable and just doesn't make top sense, but it can be forgiven due to this movie really is an action movie and not a serious statement about the future of politics.
The movie, although not a copy of the original, does carry some winks and homages to the original, if you pay close attention to the villains lines you will find it. The robots, although improved graphically are loyal to the original story and I was I pleased that they didn't go overboard with that. A trap that a lot of new Hollywood movies fall into.
To wrap it up, a word about the soundtrack. I really appreciated the soundtrack which is humoristic at times (tin man) and finishing with the The Clash "I fought the law" which, very similar to this movie, was a remake of a previous work but becomes a much better version of it and indeed holds it's freshness just as well in our time.
Exact score: 82 / 100. Go watch with your teenagers, you will not be disappointed.
Frida (2024)
Really well made and innovative documentary
Creating this kind of documentary must have been difficult. The years we are talking about are 1907 - 1954 so although there are some original film from those years it is not enough to make a full-length movie, however the directors here choose to almost verbatim read off Frida's diary which is surprisingly reach and spans over many years. Also photos and archives of the actual art and people that are involved. The outcome is mesmerizing and although I'm not a big fan of these kind of documentaries it was interesting enough for a 90 minutes watch.
This is not a kind of a movie that would be a block-buster hit. It is not a person that everyone knows, her life, although very bohemian and flamboyant is still confined to art lovers. And it is a documentary, not showing any actors at all, only real people voices or voice-over. Having said that, I did watch Frida Kahlo movie from 2002 in which she is portrayed by Salma Hayek, and I think this documentary is actually better, in a sense that you are getting what really happened and not a mere Holywoodic mirror of it.
One criticism I do have for this movie is the animation of Kahlo's paintings, which from art perspective is unique and refreshing, but for me sometimes I couldn't tell what was a real painting and what was an artist or CGI alteration of it. I wish they would show the actual art as is, unaltered.
People who decide to watch this movie should be aware of the nudity imagery that this documentary contain, but if you are in learning mode, history and art, you'll find a beautifully made movie and a truly deep life lesson. This movie is absolutely a must for art students and people that have a thirst for knowledge.
Exact score: 77 / 100.
Road House (2024)
Good remake but not amazing, McGregor steals the show
25 years after the Road House with Patrick Swayse was made, this remake is abound to give it a fresh start. Starring Jake Gyllenhaal as Dalton, the main protagonist and Conor McGregor as the bad-ass Knox. The story is fairly straight-forward, a bunch of tugs instructed by a rich and corrupt developer the remove the last stand between him and his development plans. Dalton is of-course the savior of the little people, their cowboy and the knight in shining armor. It is a fast-paced action full adventure with plenty of fists-fights on all levels, some of them more serious then others.
It is a well-made movie, CGI is good and all the actors dong a great job, but it is a bit soulless. The attempt to bring some softness and kindness to the story with the inclusion of Hannah Love Lanier is nice but it's not enough to give this movie and emotional twist. Also Daniela Melchior, as beautiful as she is, stays cold for most of the script.
Overall this is a good "turn off your brain" action movie. It's long and start to be repetitive at some point but it ends just before getting too boring. Really nothing wrong with it other than it will not leave a lasting impression on you other then remembering the image of the nearly-naked McGregor here and there.
The story of why Dalton left UFC is an interesting one and I wish it was more developed, again nothing wrong here, just feeling like the surface was scraped but not dug into.
Guide: R rated due to extreme violence, rough language, but no sex scenes. Exact score: 71 / 100.
Little Wing (2024)
Teenage drama that will touch your heart
I didn't expect much from "Little Wing", the poster is unassuming and the topic of racing pigeons is not that exciting. However I was in for a nice surprise. Starting with a well-though story through great acting and ending on a very emotional note.
The story revolves around Kaitlyn (Brooklyn Prince), a teenager who has a complicated life with school, parents and friends, just a tad more than the usual stuff. She tries to help her mom save her house but doing it in all the wrong ways.
I think Brian Cox is the only other famous actor in this cast, however all the actors are doing a great job and the dialogues are realistic and sincere. I'm not sure how much is taken from the short story this is based on, but the direction, photography and writing is all well done here.
The movie is funny at parts, but in general it is a drama with very realistic situations, nothing extravagant, not real "bad guys" and "good guys" but that's where its charm comes from, we are all slightly good and slightly bad sometimes.
Overall this movies gets a two thumb up from me, if you like drama with some excitement in it, and a lot of heart, "Little Wing" might just be the thing for you. Exact score: 78 / 100.
The Woods Are Real (2024)
Christianity tale, Student-esq production
Surprisingly, I managed to stay for the entire duration of this movie, so that's one thing that was going for it, however the production value is very low, looks like shot on an iphone without much direction and retakes. Even the cuts between the scenes is if done by a free editing software.
Surprisingly the acting is above average here, although the chemistry between the different actors is mediocre, as very common to this level of production quality, it does seem like the actors make an effort and care about their acting level and the characters they portray.
One major thing to remember coming in to see this movie is that this is a Christianity movie with ideas rotating around biblical and faith elements (such as the sacrifice of a son and others). If you are not familiar with the bible stories and expecting some hard-core horror movie you will be deeply disappointed. The value of this movie as action/horror is extremely low.
Overall I cannot really recommend this movie, all I can do is commend the actors and the director for producing a watchable movie for such low budget, but it is really a sub-par watch. Exact score: 4.4 / 10.
Damsel (2024)
Good, but not without flaws
The story of "Damsel" is a fairy-tale like, mixed with some elements of a revenge movie. The film explores themes of self-reliance and courage as Elodie (Millie Bobby Brown) embarks on a journey to save her people and herself after finding herself in a precarious situation after a rushed marriage proposal takes her to a distant land.
Overall not bad, as far as fantasy movies go, but for some reason it is not allowed nowadays to make movies in which everyone has the same skin color (even if its a remote made-up land) so we are forced into the regular inclusivity woke story, but whatever.
At points it was definitely felt like MBB was there just so that the production can put a big name on the actors list, her name is so big it makes Angela Bassett looks like a tier-C actor. But I was not crazy about either of these casts, they were 'ok' but didn't really carry and served more value for the production than the story.
Need to point out that the CGI in this movie is phenomenal, starting from the great sceneries all the way to the creatures and monsters. It is done well, and not overdone. It's too bad that the story is a shallow (no real character exportation) and narrow (mostly happens in one place) so this is no 'lord of the rings', not even by a long shot.
In essence, 'Damsel' is an entertaining fantasy movie that can be enjoyed by the entire family (beware, there are some bloody death scenes and scary scenes, so not suitable for small children). There is noting really new to be told here, but at least its beautiful and engaging. Exact score: 72 / 100.
Code 8: Part II (2024)
Who gave this a 10? I almost fell asleep
The first installment of Code 8 was okay, I gave it a 6 out of 10. This one is better in the sense of CGI, camera and acting but boy, is the story flat. There is no real connection to the original in terms of story, just similar settings. Again, in this one it seems like everybody has superpowers although it supposed to be only 4% of the population, even the YMCA old Chinese lady has powers, and of-course the corrupted police chief has powers, wow, what a surprise! Give me a break.
Not only that Code 8 part II falls flat, not really exploring any of the characters or their past, it also becomes boring at some point, where I stopped caring about what happens and almost fell asleep. For me that's an immediate sign that this is not actually a good movie. Also kept bothering me why Tarak stole the whole bag of cash? If he is the good person they portray him to be, shouldn't he just take money for a book? Also why kill him? It's not like he uncovered a mystery he didn't know of, they could just hand him over to Garret, his boss.
IMO Code 8 part II is a complete time-waster. If you have 1.5 hours to kill this might be an ok choice, but I cannot really recommend this one, which is a shame because they had a good opportunity to build on top of the original movie and made it worse instead of improving on it. All 3 writers should be ashamed of themselves, in the future don't complain when you're job is replaced by AI.
Exact score: 51 / 100.