jmerienne Reviews

The Creator (2023)

A visual effect demo

[5/10 · 20 November 2023]

Now I suspect that they spend all the "promotional" budget to YouTube reviewers in lieu of doing an actual promotion as after all, they do the promotion nowadays.

Destroying decent movies such as Prometheus or Alien Covenant but throw flowers as this garbage movie.

Well my opinion is that definitively sci-fi movies seems nowadays to exempt directors from having a decent scenario.

Finally, spoil alert, the nazis or Russian are no longer the bad guys but the Vietcong are.

I am still looking online to get to understand how the hero got his leg and arm back once out of the jail but probably miss something in the extensive explanatory dialogue that flourish this crap. Dialogues that must fill 3.5 pages, half of the word being "Alphie". Play a drink game on it, you won't survive.

So many weird stuff and probably miss half of it, this billion dollar look alike dreadnaught tank exploding from head to toe with a hand mine.

This hero that seems lost whether to put on a space suit or not, this kid able to control everything but unable to open a capsule door, the hero that decide not to get on the capsule but just to die instead is gold, this vessel Nomad in a split of a second alternating appearance above cities or jungle, despite having fulfill the primary mission, "let's blow anyway everything", finally the US army were the nazis, pffff... And what a technical performance ! Despite undeniable nice visual effects, the sound is crap, the video is granular and yes go to hell everyone with your 16:9 screen, this is coming on a 21:9 with nice black margin up and down, you know why ? Because someone choose the cheapest camera ever to do his movie. 80Musd, not an expensive casting, a 3000 usd camera, I would investigate a little bit the expenses on this movie, where did the money goes... A Bladerunner probably half this budget... 6/10 big max imo but yeah "flawed brilliance"

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

Dialog and lead actress sucks to say the least

[3/10 · 2 September 2022]

The first fight was the end of the dream, the one with the snow troll, I can't avoid laughing at it. The troll is getting rid of some fighters like perfect nobodies but then she, in her incommensurable strength and abilities, lol the beast without even looking at it. Hum mokay... a little bit of realism is welcome guys... No it was that easy for Aragorn to kill beasts... Well overall the dialogue feels really weird and unnatural, almost cringy, especially the exchange between Elrond and Galadriel. On top of it, Galadriel is barely acting correctly; some scene feels sketchy like the labourers cutting the grass at the same rythm at the opening of the human village or the elves standing still with vertical sword on their boat; can't help having this impression they took the original landscape and plug a bunch of amateurs totally foreigner to the spirit of the saga. What a waste.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

Scenarist

[6/10 · 9 August 2022]

Can anyone provide this poor guy with a scenarist please ?

Still a great job on picture, music, shots ok we got it, he knows how to do that but like a lot of his work it is lacking an interesting story to tell.

While there is so much true story out there, still to be put on the screen, that could use Wes artistic direction and audacity, not being able to put an intriguing story in a movie is beyond any excuses.

Sleep Tight (2011)

What a waste

[6/10 · 7 August 2022]

A few modifications and the movie could have been interesting, such as explaining the concierge was seeking revenge for his mum, injured in a car accident with Clara etc. Too bad. The scenario did not even bother a few inconsistencies, such as Clara who will eventually rush to the police to give a testimony undoubtedly leading the inevitable arrest of the concierge, but no, the movie let you think he will reiterate freely his damage in a new building.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

New record

[5/10 · 13 June 2022]

3min30 before the first gay scene, this movie set a new record. Who can beat that, hum ?

Overall, the movie is bringing nothing new, the so what factor is still not there. I do believe this movie is totally overrated and I have to admit that I stopped it somewhere in middle, as it is another 2h20 movie leading nowhere. Maybe I am too old for this kind of topic.

The Wheel of Time (2021– )

The "message"

[4/10 · 20 December 2021]

Average Xena like series which ends for me around episode 6 where Americans can't help restraining themselves from introducing a lesbian affair in what is supposed to be a fantasy series. Like Gandalf kissing Saroumane. Just off topic... and convincing to stop wasting time on it.

An Officer and a Spy (2019)

Formidable

[10/10 · 9 December 2021]

Being french and discovering this Paris from the 19th century on top of this outstanding story.... Just give us more of this atmosphere !!! MORE !! The characters, the costumes, all the decoration used, this is just breathtaking and maybe even a first.

No Time to Die (2021)

The end of Hollywood

[7/10 · 7 December 2021]

Despite being a overall good James Bond (in terms of gadget, etc.), it can't be ignored that some communities robbed the franchise, if not ending it. James Bond is now depicted as a drunk, old male, too old for his job, on the verge of failing at any moment like the notion of society some people seems to have. Yes after numerous James Bond, someone decided to kill the franchise. Exit James Bond. This desire to eradicate the symbol is so hard that he is even stripped from his tag 007, like robbed from a dead body, that a female character in her great leniency granted back temporarily. Communities could be happy with just the next available number like 027. Not it has to be this strong symbol... Not difficult to predict that this is signing the end of an era something like 26 movies. And what is the point again ?! Last time I watch a « James Bond »

Don't Breathe 2 (2021)

Excellent

[9/10 · 1 November 2021]

Very studied scenario with a double twist (finally a nice scenario, something often neglicted these days), impressive acting, overall a confirmation that the people behind the don't breathe franchise has nothing to blush about compared to other production.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Exactly Alien 1 scenario, just better

[9/10 · 31 August 2021]

Just folks, you need to do a full night Alien 1, 2, have your eyeballs bleed with Alien 3 & 4 and then Prometheus and Covenant to get to appreciate this piece.

This movie is basically the same scenario as Alien 1; so not liking Covenant is simply hating Alien 1: a spacecraft hear a destress signal and decide to got searching on the planet. They are confronted to an alien killing the crew members one by one. They are stuck on this planet but finally they found a way out although an alien is onboard. On top of it, this movie is bringing some huge piece of information on where these aliens are coming from etc. Totally underrated imo. The present score for this piece is below Alien 3, really ? Alien 3, the "we got one alien in the room" scenario with the worst Alien special effect ever...

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Totally underrated

[9/10 · 29 August 2021]

Well alien is all about Giger design, an android you can't trust, spaceships, deep space planet and dark corridors where you fall face to face with a nasty alien. We got it all and beyond, as this one has even a good scenario (let's recall 2 minutes that Alien 1 is all about fleeing one alien, and alien 3 is all about one single alien dropped in a prison and ... well it killed the prisoners) is it worst mentionning that with all this haters out there, Alien 3 has a better score than this movie ... Probably the best Alien movie out there in my opinion.

Fright Night (2011)

Worst than a buffy episod

[3/10 · 5 June 2021]

One of these remakes again... You just wonder why ? Why Craig, why ?

You just take a cult movie from 1985, strip it from all good things in it which were: 1. The music 2. State of the art visual effects from the 80s (still unbeatable) 3. A huge bestiary (Wolf/almost werewolf, bats, ghouls, and of course vampires, and even a "dark / bone vampire" towards the end) 4. A gothic atmosphere

Delete all these good stuffs above a 12 year old boy could have managed to define, and you get this pointless dumb "won't aged well" 90's tv show type 3D effects no added value whatsover movie. Just a shame.

LOL: Last One Laughing Germany (2021– )

Awesome

[10/10 · 26 April 2021]

That was so hilarious I think I broke some ribs. Watching these comedians tortured, literally dying from inside... what a show.

My Mother's Castle (1990)

Worst acting ever

[5/10 · 16 November 2020]

Although I am french, I found the story quite boring especially due to the internal competition of who will be the worst actor ever (in the French version). If you like the "South of France" atmosphere, just go directly to Jean de Florette and Manon des sources, which are based on the same author's books but are masterpiece.

Midsommar (2019)

When a teen slasher meet The Village and Wicker man

[10/10 · 4 May 2020]

Oh it will be difficult from now on to top such a movie, which have all the ingredients of a Masterpiece. The acting, the picture, the soundtrack, the direction are purely outstanding. A teen slasher movie that cross an upgraded The Village meeting the Wicker Man. This will make from now on reference in this genre, the "pagan" horror movie. Too bad that horro movies keep being noted by people that do not appreciate horror / terror genre movies afterall, misleading the fan community with outrageous underscoring.

Parasite (2019)

A master piece

[10/10 · 4 February 2020]

Like watching a Sergio Leone, this director is just a god in film making.

The Irishman (2019)

Quite long, almost boring

[6/10 · 1 December 2019]

Almost 25 years after HEAT, they still have no clue why HEAT was such a hit. but difficult not to compare this movie with the 1995 masterpiece also opposing De Niro to Al Pacino. However, unfortunately, this movie is too long, the topic is not that interesting, very few action moments, almost boring.

The Great C (2018)

Please add VR as a category

[7/10 · 11 November 2019]

Can you please add VR in your categories ? In this way, we could browse thru this dedicated category content. Right now, your website is not even mentioning that this is VR content. And it is so difficult to find a data base of VR movies content outthere. You might be the first.

The King (I) (2019)

Here we come again, French bashing

[7/10 · 11 November 2019]

An overall good movie, good soundtrack, great acting, and there is so few movies out there about medieval age history where there is tons of stories to tell about it like this one. But why inserting some free French bashing in it in this interpretation of Charles d'Albret 1 ? This is literally killing the veracity of the movie. Is this because Michod as an Australian feels he needs to take the side of England ? Charles 6 the king was crazy, why not just emphasize this true side of the story ? When you do a movie about history, you stick to the truth, you don't freely interpret it at your convenience.