supercygnus Reviews

Unfrosted (2024)

Bizarre absurd and a lot of fun

[8/10 · 3 May 2024]

Either you're going to love this movie or you're not going to get it at all. Both reactions are understandable. It's ridiculous and it knows it. The satire is equal opportunity and no one is safe from JFK to the January 6th Attack on the Capitol. There are movies references galore, an outstanding cast (James Marsden and Hugh Grant stand out as do some surprise cameos I won't ruin here) and some potent food porn. Cereal never looked so good.

While its not always laugh out loud funny, it's always amusing and there are truly dark somewhat shocking moments that should make everyone in the room take notice if not gleefully cackle at the sheer nerve of what you've just seen. The fate of a ventriloquist act and an ill fated pop tart test spring to mind.

If you are a fan of the lunacy laced later seasons of Seinfeld after Larry David left and Jerry was in complete control then there is every reason why you should at least give this one a try. But don't be alarmed that even you're laughing the people around might be totally confused as to why.

Sugar (2024– )

Sugar is a fascinating character

[9/10 · 21 April 2024]

As written and as portrayed by Colin Farrell, Sugar is a very original and fascinating character. He hates hurting people but he's very capable of it. He doesn't like guns but he'll carry one because of the insistence of his manager and because it's the exact gun used in a film classic he admires. Thats because he loves movies. Sugar is reminiscent of Chili Palmer, more introspective, but same decency despite the shady nature of their vocations, low key disarming charm that doesn't draw a lot of attention, same ability to intimidate without raising their voice, and the same love of film. Both are experts at finding people for their clients. Sugar is haunted by his past and there's a melancholy to his being even when he smiles. So far the series is engrossing and almost hypnotic in its smooth execution, but what makes it compelling is the central performance (aided by a very capable supporting cast) by Farrell as private investigator John Sugar.

The case itself isn't remarkably unique, but the antagonists keep the stakes high and the danger present a real. It's the same type of down the rabbit hole looking detective case they've been making since the 1930s, but at least it's down with some style, humor, a bit of action, great work from a fantastic cast and cleverly inserted noir film clips. A definite recommendation for fans of the genre and fans of Farrell.

The Birth of a Nation (2016)

Historically distorted vanity project

[3/10 · 5 March 2024]

From the first frame to the insanely self serving deification final shot Parker hasn't orchestrated a biopic as much as he's created a vehicle to turn himself into some kind of icon. It fails miserably because so much is whitewashed about Turner including his his real life far less heroic capture. Turner is an important figure in pre civil war America, but he heard voices and believed he was getting instructions from heavens. His revolt murdered women and children and in the end he was found hiding in a hole in the woods. Parker isn't satisfied with just the facts of Turner's life, he actually manufactures a scene where he/Turner rescues a woman from sexual assault in an attempt to make Turner more righteous and himself the avatar the audience will make synonymous with that heroism.

One has to admire Parker's ambition and attempts to be profound, the problem is he is unable to acknowledge his subject's deep flaws and possible insanity. He also has no sense of nuance or subtlety and his nakedly obvious priority to turn Turner and by association himself into both a hero and a martyr is not just distracting. It's cringeworthy.

The X-Files: Milagro (1999) Season 6, Episode 18

Well acted but obnoxious

[6/10 · 4 February 2024]

The motives never feel that genuine and the dialog between the author and Scully is painfully overwrought or pretentious enough to make your eyes fully role back into your head in a severe case of "give me a break" syndrome. It borrows liberally from other stories where a character on the page comes alive in reality except it's not very compelling. Hawkes is a very good actor but here he seems to be stuck in a one note character that alternates from creepy to vacant and then uncharacteristically sacrifices himself in an unselfish act meant to make us forgive his extreme stalker behavior. Still, he gives a committed performance and the limitations are probably more due to the director as is Scully's unfocused narrative. Mediocre X-Files is still better than most other genre shows, so it's worth watching and making your own assessment.

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)

Scary Sexy Gory Fun!

[7/10 · 24 May 2023]

A prime example of 1980s b flick horror done right. You don't find movies like this anymore, at least not with the budget they have to work with here. While lower budget compared to Hollywood blockbusters it's far above the shot on digital video with shoddy computer effects we generally see today. Likable characters, well done make up effects, nudity, twists and effectively creepy moments. Michael Ironside delivers his usual strong performance and the main cast in general are stronger than what you may have come to expect from this type of flick. There are obvious "homages" to Carrie but not to the point of embarrassing ripoff levels. It's far more interesting and thrilling than the first film and it's easily the best of the franchise (including the remake of the first film). A must watch for fans of the low budget 80s horror genre.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Beautiful

[10/10 · 28 January 2023]

Everything Everywhere All At Once. I'm a grown man and I cried through almost the whole movie. Maybe a little because their sad little struggling existence in the beginning looks a lot like one I've lived. A lot because the movie has so much authentic emotion and that it breaks and fills up your heart. A lot because it's so imaginative and joyous that it had a profound effect on me that I would just get so overwhelmed watching it I'd tear up. It's so original and on top of it so many Asian faces. It means so much that there's so much Asian culture and experience in such a big movie, but that Asian-ness is no more consequential than if they were Irish. It's a part of who they are, but it's not all they are. It makes us all the more connected despite our differences. But the last thing is the idea that we all have so much potential. So many possibilities. And maybe we always have, possibilities. Shortround, all these years later is BACK. In real life. So that message rings true. And he is wonderful in the movie by the way. After all this time he found his potential again. Everyone does personal best work in this film, especially Michelle Yeoh. One of the great film performances. Ever. The effects and editing weren't more of the same thing we've seen and gotten spoiled by seeing often. All that production and detail instead applied to sights we've never seen in places you'd least expect it. It might not have the same effect and affect on everyone, but I thought it was just beautiful. There's so much humor and originality and unbridled imagination and the ability to take ideas, that like the multiverse has been done many times, but make them feel fresh and new. We're lucky if we have people to walk through the world with, and even at our worst we can remember there's still something to love in us all. How beautiful is that?

Civil War (or, Who Do We Think We Are) (2021)

Good intentions but unfocused

[7/10 · 31 October 2021]

This would have benefited from a more narrow scope because the subject matter is massive and complicated. It bounces around and scratches surfaces but ultimately seems to almost be saying that we'll never be able to change minds. I don't think that was the intention. The interviewer seems to lead or set ip answers a bit too often as well. But still there are powerful and occasionally truly disturbing moments that will leave you thinking and hopefully talking.

Stowaway (I) (2021)

Terrific cast, rip off of a cable movie

[2/10 · 23 April 2021]

Basically the filmmakers saw "Cold Equations" and increased the budget but not the suspense.

Batman Ninja (2018)

Bold, gorgeous and imaginative

[6/10 · 11 July 2018]

It's puzzling why reviewers here are taking such an issue with this unique blending of anime, feudal Japan and Batman's foes and allies. The artwork here is really exceptional and the Japanese takes on these iconic characters are very cool. A creative new take on Batman on an epic scale isn't a bad thing. It's not as though it's existence negates the existence of other versions. One has to question the legitimacy of a Batman fan that turns a xenophobic nose up at the prospect of seeing a ninja bat clan doing battle with the warring armies of Joker, Penguin, Grodd, Deathroke, Two Face and Ivy. As is typical of a lot of anime the plot is outlandish and secondary to the surreal over the top set pieces. It's surreal to be sure. Give it a watch once to at least see the terrific animation, even if the concept isn't really your thing.

Batman Ninja (2018)

Bold, gorgeous and imaginative

[6/10 · 11 July 2018]

It's puzzling why reviewers here are taking such an issue with this unique blending of anime, feudal Japan and Batman's foes and allies. The artwork here is really exceptional and the Japanese takes on these iconic characters are very cool. A creative new take on Batman on an epic scale isn't a bad thing. It's not as though it's existence negates the existence of other versions. One has to question the legitimacy of a Batman fan that turns a xenophobic nose up at the prospect of seeing a ninja bat clan doing battle with the warring armies of Joker, Penguin, Grodd, Deathroke, Two Face and Ivy. Give it a watch once to at least see the terrific animation, even if the concept isn't really your thing.

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)

Beautiful mess...

[7/10 · 9 February 2015]

It's chaotic and loses focus now and again, but it is ambitious with some of the best acting you will see in any movie this year. It is witty and self aware and there are many who simply won't "get it". If your tastes lean more to the obvious or straight forward, this is not the movie for you. If you like imaginative, challenging, and visually stunning films that deal with ego, passion, love, weakness, insecurity and redemption, this is worth your time.

Unfortunately some subplots are completely forgotten and character arcs begun but not finished, but there is so much rewarding here to be found these are mostly forgiven shortcomings. The editing and scene structure plays like a stream of consciousness, but the consciousness of a very neurotic person. And while there are several standout performances in a uniformly excellent cast, Keaton is the the focus and he is amazing. He runs the gauntlet of neurosis and desperation and pulls it off with an amazing balancing act between insanity and relatability. Perhaps not the best film of the year, but a very memorable one.

Thieves of Fortune (1990)

Surprisingly fun

[6/10 · 30 August 2014]

It shouldn't have worked. A very Ameirican actor playing a robust Spaniard. A low budget. Small amount of screen time for a legendary actor prominently displayed as one of the stars. Russel Savadier, an actor notorious for mugging and over acting in low budget b flicks. The combo seemed destined to failure. But it works! There are issues with broad stereotypes and budget restrictions, but the film ends up being very entertaining. Even Savadier is pretty amusing. Shawn Weathely is very likable and obviously very pretty. Nouri pulls off the super macho Spaniard (for the most part) and makes up for any slips into cartoonish caricature with good comedic timing and a lot of charisma. Craig Gardener could have been completely unlikable in his role, but manages some smarmy charm and decent comedic timing. He's not perfect but services the part way better than you'd expect. There's humor, adventure, action and a good amount of nudity that manages to be a combination of titillating and funny while also servicing the plot (and yes, a bit exploitive still). It plays a lot like a mix of Romancing the Stone and Victor/Victoria but with a solid R rating. Good natured and fun.

Train (I) (2008)

Depraved and ugly (spoilers)

[1/10 · 24 May 2014]

A group of Americans (many are wrestlers) travel through Eastern Europe by train. As they become abducted and killed we learn that this is part of an organ harvesting ring. Why torture the victims before hand? Makes little sense. How about that a team of wrestlers aren't able to defend themselves? Makes less sense. What you do get is gory live organ removal, eye removal, broken neck, male necrophilia sodomy (yes you read that right), a girl beaten, impaled under the chin, dragged and then taken by a group of soldiers to be gang raped (and presumably killed), ripped out nipple rings, throat slicing, an axe mercy killing and cast of indifferent to homicidal Europeans hunting some perpetually victimized young people. Some may read this description and find the thought of watching people beaten, dis-em bowled, crushed, raped and murdered to be a great time. I don't want to meet you. This isn't even on par with Hostel which managed at least some dark humor and a cathartic bit of revenge. This is just ugly and hopefully the last gasp of a tired horror subgenre.

Billy the Kid (1989 TV Movie)

Accurate but not compelling

[5/10 · 12 February 2014]

I'm a big fan of Val Kikmer but ....this was a little underwhelming. I had been very excited to see this cable production when it was advertised (I think for TNT, but I would have to look it up to be sure) years ago and watched it when it first aired. It is historically accurate (as much as something like this can be, and from what I am familiar regarding the real events) but it is also very dry and not artistically ambitious in any way. Kilmer creates a character completely different than anything else he has played, but unfortunately he comes off somewhat brain damaged. Educated from his childhood in New York until his mother's death in his early teens after moving out West, it is doubtful Billy Thr Kid was as seemingly slow witted as portrayed here. The Kid had charmed his way into a variety of circumstances to escape a sure death, survived the Lincoln County War and even had correspondence with the Governor negotiating his testimony against corrupt businessmen on the opposite side of the Licoln County War in exchange for a clean slate. Kilmer's interpretation suggests more of a functioning mentally handicapped desperado with a simple charm. Still, it is a well intentioned piece of t.v. filmmaking that those interested in the time frame and Billy might find some redeeming value. Be prepared for a fairly slow production though.

Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell (2012–2013)

Smug and obnoxious

[2/10 · 18 January 2013]

It's difficult to imagine anyone but know it all hipsters thinking there is anything worthwhile about this program. A recent episode spent almost the entire running time bashing the movies Lincoln and Django Unchained complete with a "hilarious" appearance Frederick Douglas in a silly wig. It gets two stars for the total number of times anything amusing or actually insightful was broadcast from this show. Of course that is based on personal experience. Maybe there are more occasional bits of worthwhile content, but it doesn't seem worth watching anymore of this show in hopes of discovering any. That's like looking through a pile of excrement hoping to find a nickel. But hey, if self congratulatory monologues laced with superficially short interviews conducted by a host surrounded by a room full sycophants is your thing, then by all means tune in. This makes a perfect companion piece to an episode of Maher's self love.

Inception (2010)

Pure exhilaration

[9/10 · 18 July 2010]

Like Hitchcock before him, Nolan is able to take artistically satisfying and challenging material and make it accessible for general audiences without dumbing it down. Being a crowd pleaser and a critical darling cannot be an easy task. Inception is heartbreaking, exciting, imaginative, unpredictable, violent, funny and very rewarding. Starring Ellen Page and DiCaprio, both do their best work. Frankly I am a fan of neither, but was absolutely impressed with them both here. While Page is the conscience of the film, Murphy is it's soul, Cotillard is it's id, Wantanabe the consequence and DiCaprio is our flawed hero whose plight and demons will break your heart. Making up the rest of the team in the mission to enter the dream consciousness and manipulate their target are a crew of some the coolest characters you're likely to see in any film this summer. Gordon-Levitt's mind bending gravity defying fisticuffs and Hardy's one man army are true action highlights. The rest of the cast too is brilliant including excellent cameos by Lukas Haas, Michael Caine, and Tom Berrenger. You may spot a great number of similarities to other sci-fi works like Matrix, Dreamscape, Total Recall and Dark City, but no film has done anything that hasn't been done before. Inception is able to make everything not only fresh, but seemingly brand new. It doesn't rely on the "is this real or a dream?" concepts to spin your head (if anything moments like those are fairly subtle and clever) but instead makes no secret of the dream reality where our heroes operate, and then piles layer upon layer of depth to that world and tension on multiple planes of consciousness. Simply put, the acting is uniformly excellent, the script is intricately clever, the effects are used in ways you haven't seen before and the story and it's concepts will have you talking to anyone and everyone you know long afterward.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice (2010)

Great fun, cynics need not apply

[8/10 · 17 July 2010]

Jay B. is funny and charming in a believably nerdy fashion; Cage is at his quirky but charismatic best; the effects are plentiful and top notch; there's both a tragic love story and a young cute one plus a healthy dose of clever references to Disney's epic Fantasia (from which this film is partially inspired). If you read this list of attributes and it caught your interest and like the idea of centuries old sorcerers doing battle across New York in spectacular fashion then it wont matter what any other review says, you're going to want to check this flick out. It's funny, the cast is likable and there's a freaking dragon tearing up Chinatown (and that isn't even the finale!). On the other hand if all of this made you cringe, well nothing is going to persuade you to see it either. The truth is SORCERER'S APPRENTICE is fairly predictable, and the opening few minutes suffer a great deal from a completely distracting (and not needed) bit of narration but it is also solid matinée fun that I know I (and apparently the theater of folks I saw it with) really enjoyed.

Flash Gordon (2007–2008)

If Only Flash could save us from this show

[5/10 · 16 August 2007]

The saddest part about this is new take on FLASH GORDON is that the lead (Eric Johnson) is actually not bad in the role. The rest is mediocre at best. From clichés like the "funny" black guy side kick, characters just happening to get important phone calls just when the main character was about to leave the room, to old relationships being revisited coming back into the hero's life just when the adventure begins so that they can become closer through adversity and on and on and on; to some truly pedestrian dialog (yes, they at one point even use the immortal "don't go there" line); and finally production values and special effects on par with the Superboy t.v. series from the late 80's-early 90's...this pilot isn't exactly confidence inspiring. While Johnson was often quite irritating as Whitney on "Smallville" he shows a good deal of humor and charisma as our hero. It was a very unwise decision to make him a marathon runner however. He's far too big to pass as a long distance runner and it's not exactly a physical and dashing sport. It's cheaper to film a bunch of guys running, so this was probably a budgetary decision, but than why not make him just some kind of overall ambitious athlete? Or maybe make him some in the closet major talent that didn't get his break because of responsibilities to his family. Maybe he just tears up the local football or soccer amateur leagues and hence his nickname for flashing past all the local competition? Just a thought. The rest of the male cast looks like they were recruited from a Canadian dinner theater production and the mandate for the females seems to have been "Skinnier! Skinnier! I want these ladies to unconvincing and yet remarkably skeletal at the same time!" The show also takes so many liberties with the characters (as opposed to previous versions) and essence of the story itself that it now resembles more of a "Sliders" clone than any previous FG creation. It would have been better off being it's own thing and not trying to simply leech off the Flash Gordon name. If only the show could have been as inventive and epic as the concept art included on the special pilot episode DVD that was recently released. That actually showed some promise. One can only hope it improves (a whooooole lot), as I don't think it could get any worse. At least I hope it doesn't get any worse. But then at least it would enter the "so bad it's funny" area and that would be more entertaining.

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

The No Win Scenario

[7/10 · 5 May 2007]

The first in the series was groundbreaking. The original, while fresh and exciting was not without it's flaws. With all of it's back story and build-up we were left with only the beginning, the first chapter in adventures yet to come and thus not as inviting to multiple viewings. A strong, charming film and a worthy realization of Spidey on the big screen, but it still, like Peter Parker himself, certainly had room to grow and mature. Enter Spider-Man 2. Hilarious, exciting, heartbreaking and sometimes all at once (look no further than the tour-de-force finale) it is not only a stellar "superhero" flick but a well crafted, emotionally powerful and sincere film of any genre. It had raised the bar for blockbusters across the board. Now comes Spider-Man 3. With word of a mammoth budget and incredibly high fan expectation, meeting status quo will and has been interpreted by many as failure. Public perception seems to be as of this writing, that the film is not up to snuff of the previous 2, however in truth it is as good in different ways than it's predecessors, just not better. This is a no win scenario as it no longer has the benefit of first time novelty and must raise the stakes across the board to not only deal with it's own track record, but several franchises that have become more mature and complex in their own right (Batman Begins, Superman Returns and even non-superhero pulled from comic epics like 300 and Sin City). So the film piles on even more battles, more set pieces with outcomes determining bigger stakes and even bigger sacrifices. As a whole it is quite a wonder to see how it all gels in the end and makes sense because there is a lot going on here. Unfortunately, fans and critics (especially critics) are often cynical with ongoing installments of any series, and here the most vocal and easily annoyed are given some legitimate ammunition. 1) There is far too much emphasis in getting characters out of their masks and reminding us of the actor's abilities and not realizing the characters themselves. Voices are rarely altered (this vocal oversight is most noticeably a problem with Venom) and characters rarely wear the full costumes and masks they have been celebrated and associated with on page for decades. It seems quite obvious the studio paid for names, and thusly want bang for the buck. So we not only get a number of big "thespian" moments of tears, songs and dance (literally) to satisfy actor needs to "showcase" but we also get Spidey to often without a mask, Goblin 2 who rarely uses the protective mask that you would assume he needs to be safe during his acrobatic daring do and a constant facial reminder of who exactly is playing Venom (and at times in poorly chosen moments which detract from menace). The viewer is often "taken" out of the film. 2)Not enough forward progression. Some loose ends are tied, but the film leaves many still dangling and some rather large ones open altogether! While there is redemption, on the whole there is a feeling that this is an "installment" rather than true closure. That being said, anyone who tells you the money isn't on the screen must have been watching a different film. From the quiet almost poetic creation of the Sandman as he forms human shape; to the many brawls throughout the film, leading up to the juggernaut finale, you get your CGI money's worth, even if you do loose a little of the humanity in all of the many computer pixels buzzing around. The human moments are still the franchise's strongest points and there's more drama here than a full night of 1980's prime time soap opera. The whole endeavor may be a victim of it's own excess, but only the truly jaded and cynical viewer wont appreciate the tapestry of spectacle and emotion woven by director Sam Raimi and Comapny for what is still a Summer blockbuster entertainment that aims to be more than a clichéd collection of one liners and eye candy. It has a lot to live up and to, and sometimes fails but it remains a worthy successor in truly unique escapist franchise. 'Nuff said.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (2006–2007)

Good, with one weak link

[7/10 · 7 December 2006]

Anyone complaining that "Studio 60" is simply a liberal propaganda machine clearly hasn't watched the show. While it is filled with very liberal points of view, one of the show's main characters (played ably by Sarah Paulson) is very much a pro-Christian conservative character. Furthermore supporting players are often of a more conservative nature (John Goodman as a small town judge, as well as Tom's parents sen in a n episode to name a few) and are generally portrayed favorably. The shows does in fact lean liberal, but the writing is so crisp and clever and the performances so "on" even a "moderate" like myself can watch and enjoy the Republican bashing that does go on. It is a point of view, and all great entertainment with some sort of message has one.

That being said, there is one distinct fault with the otherwise funny and involving show...the show within the show. We are supposed to buy into the "Studio 60" show they work on as being popular and perceived in it's reality as "funny". It is not. Or to be fair, it rarely is. Some funny concepts, but not a funny show. This hurts the credibility and honesty of the drama. If one can look past this and hope the show within the show improves, there is a lot to admire here. The production values are stellar, the cast very strong on their toes even with the most rapid-fire banter and the concept an interesting one. May be worth opening your minds to it on Mondays.

Superman III (1983)

Super-Underrated

[8/10 · 29 November 2006]

In truth, although I personally enjoyed Superman III and I scored it an "8", it probably lies somewhere closer to 7.5. What has become the major criticism has been a focus not on what the film was, but what it could have been. This is truly unfair to the finished product as SUPERMAN III did have a lot to offer and remains quite entertaining today. Please read on as I qualify a statement that may be viewed a blasphemous among many fans.

First let's get something straight. The film was not a "bomb". It made less than the first 2, however part II made less than part I, and yet is considered a strong film whatever cut of it you see. Part III made less, but was still very successful. Second, part III is attacked for 2 reasons. The first is of course the lack of DONNER and his influences (director Richard Donner of the first film and part of the second). Yes, it is indeed sad that we will never know how far he could taken the series had he not been so unceremoniously canned; however that is something we cannot change or know and Part III is it's own animal and should be judged thusly. True, it does suffer some major drawbacks. There is real lack of spark without Lois around and the humor is very overpowering in many spots (the opening for example is entertaining, but completely off tone for the franchise). It does however benefit from a wonderful Lana Lang (the still very beautiful and active Superman actress in the current Smallville series, Annette O'Toole), a fun and unpredictable battle with a supercomputer, the ever reliable Reeve as Superman once again, and a scene which should be considered one of the greatest scenes in ANY superhero film, good Supes vs. Bad. That scene alone warrants a viewing.

The second complaint is with co-star Richard Pryor. Anyone who has seen BATMAN and Nicholson's dominance of screen time, or even the first SUPERMAN must acknowledge that SUPERMAN III is not the only film to focus at least as much on the villain (if not more so) as they do the hero. It is sometimes distracting the extent they focus on Pryor in the film, but he also brings both a lightly villainous but also strong sense of humanity to a part that could have simply have been just a forgettable henchman. There was a distinct overuse of his character, but he by no means sinks the film.

It should also be pointed out that the first 2 films (I rank, as do many others as some of the best Superhero films ever made) also had their flaws both in continuity (if Krypton had been destroyed thousands of years earlier, how then does the education in the crystals on the way to Earth reference 20th Century information for example) and logic (so it's just mere coincidence that tossing a nuclear bomb/missile into the vastness of space would just happen to explode a phantom zone prison floating around from Kyrpton?) and even Donner's work was occasionally improved by the choices made by Lester (his contributions to the franchise are a real injustice on their own as he is also an immensely talented filmmaker). Of course the third is no where near the shear wonder of parts 1 and 2, but it does stand well on it's own as a side adventure outside the first two films' mythology and despite it's shortcomings features some truly memorable effects, action and of course legendary Christopher Reeve playing not just dual, but a trio of roles. Worth a watch for sure.

Superman Returns (2006)

A refreshingly sincere and exciting film

[8/10 · 5 July 2006]

MINOR SPOILERS One of SUPERMAN RETURNS best attributes (treating it's audiences like an adult) may also hurt it's box office potential. In a country where some of the worst reviewed films at the theaters (Da Vinci Code, X3) are also it's biggest hits, SUPERMAN RETURNS may have found greater box office triumph had if it instead treated it's audience like short attention span children. Without sensational controversy and taboo curiosity fueled hype or constant whiz bang pyrotechnics and one liners, SUPERMAN RETURNS with it's balance of reality, consequences, emotion and adventure is a throw back to the late 70's-early 80's, which ironically is an era when most film snobs complain not enough of the current crop of blockbusters take their inspiration from anymore. Now that a film that takes it's emotional core seriously has arrived, the complaint seems to be that the mega-budgeted film would have just been better off with more action, faster, rapid pace editing and calculated funny quip placements, dangled in front of a restless American audience like so many keys on Mom's key chain distracting her toddler child.

Granted, SUPERMAN RETURNS could have indeed used a few of the lighter moments seen in the previews but not in the final product (Ben Hubbard is cut out almost completely), but it would be hard to imagine what should be cut in favor of those moments from the finished product. The film does have it's funny side, however, dominated mainly by scene steelers PARKER POSEY and SAM HUNTINGTON, not to mention bits by the superb Routh's Clark Kent and Sociopathic Lex Luthor played by Kevin Spacey. Spacey, while still very amusing and quick witted, is fairly removed from Gene Hackman's interpretation of the iconic baddie. Where Hackman was excellent as kind of a megalomaniac used car salesman, Spacey is charming, snide, but also downright sadistic. What's interesting is that Spacey's Lex also shows some genuine concern for his loyal side kick / girlfriend (although he is not above putting her life in danger if he arrogantly believes his planning is beyond any real "risk") and seems to know his henchmen so well, that volumes are spoken, or screamed by a distinct look or glance. His hatred for the Man of Steel also goes way beyond Saturday Matinée, mustache twirling revenge, but is a legitimate and calculated lust for vengeance; something he revels in with utter contempt when he gets his chance. When Lex and his crew finally get their hands on Krypton's Last Son, it is such a completely one-sided bit of brutalization that it hurts your heart a little to watch. This scene, more than almost any other in the nearly 2 and a half hour runtime stuck in my head days later. It is realistic and sad...for the moment.

Other stand outs include the much talked about Airplane rescue scene (it is essential to see this scene AT the theaters!) and to a more noble and more human degree JAMES MARSDEN's Richard White. Ricahrd isn't some typical jerk third wheel, but in many ways Superman..without the Superpowers. This makes the dramatic tension all that more compelling. Kate Bosworth is wonderful as Lois, recalling a young Michelle Pfieffer. The most potentially fatal kryptonite of the flick, however, could have been (but thankfully is not) Tristan Lake LeBeau as the 4 year old Jason White. Young actors have a very hard time striking a balance between cute and legitimate. Too knowing and the kid is no longer a kid, but a little person imitating an adult actor. Too cute and you wince in pain. The little guy in Superman Returns, to put it simply, is perfect.

Routh of course had the biggest hurdle in taking on the many faces of SUPERMAN/KAL-EL/CLARK KENT, but in recalling some of Christopher Reeves best qualities (distictive differences between the characters, a natural ability to take on a character who wants only to do good, and of course more than a passing resemblance to Reeve himself) along with some added depth to the part(s) emotional core(s) and humanity and you have a terrific addition to the legacy of actors who have tackled the part. I originally was very unhappy with the choice of Routh, now it's hard for me to imagine another actor today filling the red boots. Routh is the new Superman.

One can only hope that the film has legs, and that in the coming weeks it hold up reasonably well. Pirates of The Caribben 2: (Electric Boogaloo) has been pitted against it in the media, which is unfortunate as PIRATES also looks to be an enjoyable Summer blockbuster. It seems the over emphasis of box office prognosticators has created an atmosphere where only one can be successful. SUPERMAN RETURNS, if it holds up well at the box office has more story to be told, and many possibilities left to explore and it would be sad if we were denied those story lines in favor of a more traditional fast and furious summer actioner in sequels to come. Superfeats and heroics are essential to the Man of Steel's story, but hopefully we will continue to be enlightened to his motivations and humanity as well. And despite whatever misgivings have been blared across blog boards and water coolers across the nation as to the film's big "twist", after watching the very moving moment with Superman and another pivotal character towards the end of the film, I have to say it's unfortunate if you keep a closed mind as you will miss a truly memorable and touching moment not just for this film, but for the entire franchise.

Like the first X-MEN film, there is a lot of time spent on relationships, and while these moments are still very enjoyable, they lay an essential groundwork for future films in the franchise to come. And I for one look forward not only to seeing this movie again, but also the next chapters to be unveiled in the years ahead.

How to Slay a Vampire (1993 Video)

I found it! The WORST Movie EVER!

[1/10 · 31 March 2006]

If only there was something less than "1" on the voting scale. This film should singlehandedly be able to open a strong argument in favor of instituting negative numbers for the IMDb voting scale. It may also open arguments in favor of hunting down and hurting the Polonia Brothers. This is a movie filled with the 2 incredibly dorky protagonists (aforementioned talent-free Polonia Brothers) looking at the camera and commenting in "humourous" and "self-referential" and "self-aware" fashion on the events going on in the movie. They also engage in conversations with the director, and a black cut out shape that I can only suppose is supposed to be a guy watching the movie from the "theater". What's interesting is that by resorting to these stomach turning antics is that they actual risk bodily harm. I defy you to watch this film so cheap that they actually freeze frame on scenes rather than simply filming a static shot and video rental props are decorated in what are clearly Sharpie pen sketches, and not at least twitch with a very real anger and desire to punch one of the brothers in the face. As I've shown this to others in a kind of "Fear Factor" tolerance challenged, I've observed some viewers have felt sickened (not from any type of gore, but from experiencing a true black hole of talent), some deflated and sad by the fact someone actually released this and paid the Palonidiots money to do so, but all have one feeling in common. All were angered. It is a phenomenon that should one day be studied.

Still interested? Well it's the zany story of of 2 complete morons (type casting) who try to hunt and kill a sexually confused Vampire. When these two sides meet up...watch zaniness follows! WATCH as the Vampire has a very long sex scene with a blow-up doll (I kid you not)! HEAR the garbled dialogue and muffled sound effects! SEE mind boggling continuity problems and interiors of the same houses over and over again (which look like were filmed at the Palonia's Grandma's house)! LAUGH not at the (un)hysterical opening by the Producer preaching safe sex! FEEL the uneasy feeling in your stomach grow into the exact feelings of stomach flu as you struggle to continue! SEARCH frantically for clinical help to deal with the non-movie you've just watched! EXPLAIN to your friends why you hate yourself so much to watch this (un)masterpiece! BEG forgiveness from those who watched it with you! Filmed entirely on a very cheap consumer video camera. Good luck to you, and keep reminding yourself that if you allow the Palonia brothers to hurt you, then they've won. Be strong.

The Island (2005)

An Island Worth Visiting

[8/10 · 23 July 2005]

So Bay bashers are most likely to find little new to love here, despite the fact that this is a distinctly mature step up in his resume. Argue what you want, but it's hard to dismiss his work as not at least entertaining, if not more than occasionally quite absurd. You see ever dollar up on the screen and every shot looks like it was painstakingly produced (which has also been a regular source of ridicule as well as praise). Forget every other film he's made and let's get to this one.

Far more intellectual than what you might expect, don't be surprised if your mind does not occasionally start to dwell on debates of morality and what makes a human being, well, a human being. There are harsh criticisms made about our society and our human nature to the point that you will find yourself demonizing most of the human characters and identifying with the pure, selfless and ideal nature of the protagonists. Our heroes are after all, basically children and therefore have an uncorrupted view of right and wrong, and act on those impulses accordingly. There are some very ugly reminders of what man has been capable in the service of his own selfish objectives, and man's capacity to rationalize the persecution or extermination of other humans and animals as either necessary or because the obstacles are less than human in their eyes. We are quite literally even reminded of the horrors of the Holocaust in a harrowing incinerator scene. We further have our our recall stimulated of another recent act of inhumanity when a major character speaks of a their parents part in resisting the warlords victimizing civilians in Africa. All pretty heavy stuff from the guy who directed the BAD BOY movies.

Now, make no mistake, this is still Bay spectacle stuff here, but even much of that has the unique feeling of real and tangible. The cities seem functionaland one conceivable in the near future. There is not a lot of incomprehensible techno jargon to bombard you either. Even the chases, clearly inspired by other action films themselves (even Bay references himself here) seem fresh and clever. It's worth the ticket price. You get some real inner debate and creepy but intelligent suspense and some genuinely exciting chases in a believable futuristic world. If you take healthy doses of THX-1138, LOGAN'S RUN and a better realization of the B Movie FREEJACK (yeah, there's a bit of that movie in here too) and an obscure flick MST3K fans will recognize called CLONUS then you have a pretty good idea what to expect here, and you know what? It ain't bad at all.

The Hunted (2003)

Underrated, Straight Forward yet Emotionally Complex

[7/10 · 19 April 2005]

Although it would be easy to write The Hunted off as a simple chase film (I can see the pitch now: "It's First Blood married to Predator with a dose of The Fugitive", and in reality that is a pretty fair description) but it's straight forward manner lends a constant sense of urgency. Throughout this gory (yeah it's pretty graphic) cat and mouse thriller we are also given some real insight into Del Toro's character. Unwilling to make sweeping judgments about nearly any of the characters (Connie Nielsen's FBI agent is a bit stubborn and single minded and occasionally very careless in discharging her firearm in public, Tommy Lee Jones'survivalist trainer has a guilty conscious of his own and even Del Toro's transformation is understandable), the finale is exciting but emotionally complicated, even tragic. The camera work and editing are very effective and affective while not overwhelming the finished product with the typical Hollywood style over substance dilemma. Combined with some very strong performances by the leads THE HUNTED makes for a very intense and satisfying thriller experience.