kevcom Reviews

Hot in Cleveland (2010–2015)

These girls got it going on

[8/10 · 17 July 2010]

With all the reality TV shows that are nothing more than people cursing and generally being cruel to each other, this show is a welcome breath of fresh air. There's nothing necessarily all that unique about the format, and of course it has the standard sitcom canned laughter, but the 4 actresses really are funny in their respective rolls and have great chemistry together. Maybe some of the jokes aren't even all that original, however few sitcoms in history actually made me laugh out loud, yet this one does. And good lord, could Valerie Bertinelli be any prettier at 50?! I'm glad to hear this show will be back next year. We need to be able to turn on the TV and watch a new show without being assaulted by nonstop reality garbage.

2012 (I) (2009)

I get the joke (spoiler contained)

[8/10 · 22 November 2009]

2012 is nearly every disaster movie you've ever seen rolled into one. I pretty much knew that going into the theater, but once I saw the cruise ship capsized by a tsunami I was certain nothing would be off limits. Clearly the production team all the way down the line knew what they were doing -- creating the ultimate disaster movie. Utilizing every bad cliché and bad dialog synonymous with the genre had to be intentional. There is no doubt in my mind about that.

Earthquakes, fires, sinking ships, erupting volcanoes, floods and airplane crashes. It's all there, and the special effects (especially the insane LA earthquake) are top notch. The automobile and airplane escape sequences are ridiculously unbelievable, but therefore all the more exciting. Several scenes are shamelessly stolen from other disaster movies (most notably the "Poseidon" films) but it's all done in good fun.

Regardless of the absurdity of the movie, it's a enjoyable ride and indeed the ultimate disaster movie. Fans of the genre will certainly get what they paid for. My biggest complaint is that it's too long. The last 30 minutes are painfully tedious. But hat's off to those involved in the production for having a sense of humor about the whole thing.

A Christmas Carol (2009)

Do some basic research parents

[8/10 · 12 November 2009]

I read that this film has been labeled by parents as a "Disney Bomb" because it's too scary for their young children. Parents who take kids to see any movie need to be aware of something: if it's rated PG there are likely going to be scenes that your six year old will not enjoy -- even if the name Disney is attached to it. The cutesy versions of A Christmas Carol (The Muppet Christmas Carol and Disney's own Mickey's Christmas Carol for example) have little in common with the classic, and sometimes very scary Charles Dickens story. The plot should be familiar to just about anyone who has been alive sometime during the past 150 years, and the fact that there are spirits (ghosts) in the story should also be a red flag to parents. Especially since two of them are downright frightening in just about any version of the story.

The truth is that this is one of the most beautiful and faithful remakes of the Dickens classic. The dialogue is taken nearly word-for-word from the book, and the look and feel of the film brilliantly capture what you would imagine wintertime in London in the 19th century to be like. A few of the special effects are a bit over-the-top, but most work well and add enough pizazz for cynical modern-day audiences. The scenes featuring the Ghost of Christmas Present are worth the price of admission alone.

Once every few months I'm dragged kicking and screaming to see a new film. I can't stand wasting my hard-earned dollar on the crap Hollywood throws at us these days, but every once in a while I'm pleasantly surprised and thoroughly enjoy a movie. This was definitely one of those rare times.

The Jacksons: An American Dream (1992)

Snoozfest 92

[4/10 · 28 June 2009]

Considering how long this movie is one would think that it would have covered a lot more of the Jackson's actual history. Countless upon countless of known and well-documented Jackson family facts are either completely ignored or inaccurately portrayed. This film (produced and green lighted by Jackson family members -- including Michael) is simply a vehicle to paint the Jackson family in the best light possible. And are we really suppose to feel sorry for their personal hardships considering the vast amount of wealth, privilege, and fame that their career's handed them? The good news is that the film is pretty well acted. Most notably by Angela Bassett and Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs as mom and "Joseph". The actors who play the Jackson siblings do a decent job in their respective rolls with the exception of Wylie Draper as the older Michael. He's a decent actor and a great dancer, but not for one second did I believe him as the King of Pop. Of course it would be difficult for any actor to convincingly portray an individual as unique and multilayered as M.J.

If you're a Michael Jackson fan, or a fan of the Jackson's in general, you'll enjoy this film. Just don't come away from it thinking it's an accurate historical piece on Michael, or the Jackson family.

The Towering Inferno (1974)

Poseidon Adventure - 135 Floors High

[6/10 · 17 February 2009]

It had three times the budget of The Poseidon Adventure, yet it's less than half as effective. Towering Inferno proved once again that more money and bigger stars don't always account for much when it comes to good film-making. Irwin Allen tried a little too hard to duplicate the extraordinary and well deserved success and praise he had with Poseidon. Unfortunately the result is an overblown big-budget bore.

**SPOILER AHEAD** The most shameless Poseidon rip-off comes near the end of the already too long movie with the idea of "lets trash another beautiful room (hosting a gala event) with as much fire, water, and death as possible." It's The Poseidon Adventure all over again, just 135 floors up this time. And how was Mr. Allen going to duplicate the excitement of the sea flooding the Poseidon into a landlocked skyscraper? By blowing up zillion-gallon capacity water tanks on the roof of course! Yet this isn't half as ridiculous as forcing the viewer to believe the world's tallest building (made almost entirely of glass) would have been built on top of the San Andreas Fault.

The movie is "dedicated to the firefighters of the world" and was intended to pay homage to their noble and heroic efforts. Unfortunately it succeeds in doing just the opposite -- continually exhibiting how bumbling, helpless and ineffective they are in a situation like this.

The action sequences are few and far between, and many are so long and drawn out that they hardly induce heart-pounding excitement or suspense. Most notably a scene in which Bobby Brady and others try to climb down a mangled staircase for what seems like hours.

Towering Inferno is not a terrible disaster flick, but it can't hold a candle (no pun intended) to the true ruler of the disaster genre, The Poseidon Adventure.

I Could Never Be Your Woman (2007)

Delightful and Poignant Romantic Comedy

[8/10 · 16 June 2007]

I saw this last night (6/15/07) at The Maui International Film Festival. It is going to be categorized by some as a "Chick Flick", however the chemistry between Michelle Pfeiffer and Paul Rudd is undeniable. Since the film won't be released for a few months, I'm not going to go into any specific plot details, however Hollywood's obsession with youth, plastic surgery, and untalented pretty people is amusingly (and sometimes disturbingly) exposed.

Pfeiffer is a true movie star -- a brilliant actress and shamefully underrated comedian. And I would imagine that this film will likely be Paul Rudd's star-making vehicle. He's a talent power-house.

Other notable fine performances are give by the one and only Tracey Ullman as Mother Nature, and Saoirse Ronan as Pfeiffer's daughter.

I haven't laughed out loud at a movie in a long time, however I did last night -- many times. Judging from the reaction, laughter and applause of the hundreds of others in attendance, this movie is a winner.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

Pathetic follow-up

[3/10 · 10 May 2007]

Aside from the "let's gross out the audience as much as possible" factor, Kate Capshaw couldn't act her way out of a paper bag. Her performance is painful to watch, but not quite as annoying as that obnoxious kid.

The raft falling out of the plane scene will likely go down in history as the worst, and most unbelievable "special effect" ever committed to celluloid. Even way back in 1984, that scene (along with several others) was just too stupid to believe.

"Raiders" was a great flick, and "Last Crusade" was okay. "Temple" just sucks.

Mommie Dearest (1981)

Tina darling, coffee?

[7/10 · 19 December 2006]

One can't say much about Mommie Dearest that hasn't already been said. In a nutshell, you don't want to miss seeing this one folks. Although I doubt that the real Joan Crawford was as completely out of her skull as Ms. Dunaway plays her, it just doesn't really matter here. Her performance is so complete, so utterly mesmerizing and unforgettable that you'll never again hear the name Joan Crawford without the hair on the back of your neck standing up.

This is genuine guilty pleasure tonic in it's purest form. Including myself, I don't know of anyone who would want to admit to loving this film simply because of the campy and completely over-the-top joyride that it is. The producers had every intention of making a serious movie based on the book of the same name, yet failed on the grandest of scales. However that is one reason the unintentional laughs are just that much funnier. One of the first indications of the pleasures ahead is when we see Joan cradling her newly adopted daughter Christina on the stairs. She poses (perfectly framed by the ridiculously lavish art deco stairway) wearing a gown that matches the draperies.

This calamity (or masterpiece, take your pick) is just fun on so many levels. When your not completely entranced (or appalled) by Crawford's antics, your shaking your head at the 2nd grade editing job, or the less than stellar performances of the supporting cast. But this movie isn't about anyone or anything other than Faye Dunaway, and the ultimate "movie star playing movie star" performance of the century.

Martha (2005–2012)

Martha has a sense of humor

[13 September 2005]

I caught her new live show today and was really impressed by her honesty about recent events, and her sense of Humor. She even showed David Spade's SNL sketch mocking her, and he was one of the guests. From cookies baked of her likeness in prison garb to ceremoniously cutting off David Spade's ankle monitor, nothing seemed to be off limits. It was "poncho day" and she wore her famous garment we saw her in when she was released from prison. She also talked openly about the inmate who made it for her, and her daughter was in the audience. Again, I was really impressed with her honesty and humor. Well done Martha, and WELCOME BACK! We've missed you.

The Dick Van Dyke Show Revisited (2004 TV Movie)

As good as it could be...

[8/10 · 6 August 2005]

I must disagree with one user's review. Of course the program doesn't have the same magic as the original Dick Van Dyke Show. But common, that was 40 years ago. I have to give them credit for their efforts. I think it's wonderful that they were able to get all of the surviving members of the cast together, and I did find several of the jokes, and most of the story line very funny. As far as Rose Marie "not looking good", what do you expect?! She's in her 80's now! I just think it's difficult for us to see characters 40 years older, especially since we're all so familiar with how they looked and acted in their youth and prime. However as far as I'm concerned, the show was probably as good as it could be considering how much time has passed. I do have to admit however, that Mary Tyler Moore looked unnaturally much younger than the rest of the cast, which can be attributed to the amount of (admitted) plastic surgery she has had.

Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica (2003–2005)

Newlyweirds: Bimbo and Bozo

[20 February 2005]

Only MTV. Find the prettiest two idiots on the face of the earth and let them make fools of themselves in front of millions of teenagers who desperately need get away from the television set and find a life of their own. Thank god they won't be newlyweds forever, and MTV will ultimately have to cancel the show. Unless (god forbid) they just re-title it to something like "Married, without brains". It sure will be interesting to see where these two end up a few years from now. Probably behind bars or on drugs, penny-less, and wishing they had just died of embarrassment. And if these two ever have children, OMG! Just imagine having to try and explain why mommy and daddy where so stupid to junior. This show makes "The Anna Nicole Show" look like high art.

Vacation (1983)

I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose!

[6 February 2003]

What a classic. "Vacation" is one of those movies that gets better every time you see it. Largely because any of us who have been on a cross-country road trip with our family can relate all too well with the mishaps and bizarre stops along the way. Chevy Chase makes the movie. He's the perfect numskull with a heart of gold.

**Potential Spoiler Ahead** My favorite scene is the very last: the "Screemy Meemy" roller-coaster coming down the hill with the Griswold's, Roy Walley, security guards, and even the S.W.A.T. team on board sharing the moment. Simply beautiful, and the perfect conclusion to their disastrous journey.

The T.V. version is actually not butchered too bad, however you should rent the video or DVD if you want to hear the verbal exchanges that really took place in St. Louis, and inside "The Family Truckster" in Phoenix. HA HA HA!

Rollercoaster (1977)

Read my lips: This is NOT a disaster movie

[22 October 2001]

Why this movie has been long classified as a disaster flick is ridiculous. There is a horrific "accident" on a roller coaster at the beginning of the film, but that's it as far as disasters go. The incident provides us insight into the mindset of a psychotic nameless character played by Timothy Bottoms. Rollercoaster is an above average cat-and-mouse thriller that provides an adequate amount of suspense.

Much of the movie takes place at Magic Mountain amusement park near Los Angeles--well before Six Flags bought it and then ruined the Revolution roller coaster that is featured in the film. Seeing Revolution as it was when first opened (at the time the only modern coaster to feature a 360 degree vertical loop) was both interesting and a little sad. Revolution is barley recognizable today since the surrounding foliage has all but completely hidden the ride. Six Flags has also added numerous brakes that almost completely stop the ride several times, and the most uncomfortable shoulder harnesses imaginable. Many similar rides built around the same time are currently in operation without all this added hardware. Enough said about that.

Rollercoaster is a good suspense thriller. But prepare yourself for a time-warp back to the mid 70's. The twangy electric guitar music, clothes and hairstyles really date this movie. Remember lip gloss? However I enjoyed Rollercoaster, and it did provided me with a nice, long forgotten ride on the once proud and famed Revolution.

Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (1979)

Enough plot holes to sink a ship

[20 October 2001]

As a big fan of the original Poseidon Adventure, I initially thought a sequel would be a good thing. I was so wrong. This is not only a terrible movie, but possibly the worst sequel ever made.

This movie makes no logical sense. Did anyone else notice how "clean" all the sets looked compared to the condition we originally saw Poseidon's interiors in? There are also a lot of very large areas of the ship not yet under water. Yet in the original movie, the engine room was suppose to be the only remaining area still above water as all other decks had flooded behind the survivors. Also, doesn't Poseidon's exposed outer hull look nice and shinny red?

The movie shamelessly goes on in an effort to make as many subplots and facts from the original Poseidon irrelevant. Most notably the nurse--thought to be dead because she traveled to the bow with the doctor and other survivors--is now alive, has miraculously shed 40 pounds, and has managed to dye and restyle her hair.

The original Poseidon Adventure screenplay included a scene involving the ship sinking at the end, but was cut out for budget reasons. Too bad. A few more dollars just might have spared us from Beyond.

The Changeling (1980)

Classy, stylish, and utterly terrifying

[28 September 2001]

This has got to be the most shamefully underrated horror movie ever made. Everything good that other users have said about this film is true. Changeling pulls off the task of scaring the hell out of you without the use of gore or excessive violence. It's also surprisingly beautifully filmed--taking full advantage of the natural and architectural beauty of Seattle and the American Northwest. You also couldn't ask for a better story-line, or more capable actors. I've watched and appreciated this movie many times since it was first released, and it still gives me the willies.

If you want to have a really enjoyable time being scared, don't miss seeing The Changeling. Just don't watch it in a big house all alone.

Poltergeist (1982)

So incredibly well made it's "scary"

[6 September 2001]

I'm not really into horror movies, but Poltergeist is in a class by itself. Yea, it's a horror flick, however it's also hysterically funny in parts, and very moving in others. Poltergeist was released about the same time as ET, and I think the phenomenal success of that film took away a lot of much-deserved attention and praise for Poltergeist. This is a brilliant film. A great story, stunning special effects and fine performances by all of the actors. Most notably JoBeth Williams as the loving and caring mother. It's amazing to me that she was not nominated for an Oscar or Golden Globe. Her performance is riveting, and she is pivotal in making an incredible story believable.

If you want to have a really enjoyable time being scared, don't miss seeing Poltergeist. Even the term "Modern Day Horror Classic" doesn't do it justice.

The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

Still Seaworthy

[9/10 · 6 June 2001]

Anyone who has seen as many disaster movies as I have knows that this is absolutely the best one ever made. For a film nearly thirty years old, Poseidon Adventure is still so effective that it would cause anyone planning to take a cruise to think twice. You probably know the plot--luxury liner capsized by a tidal wave. This synopsis is brought to life with suspense, drama, and sometimes, terrifying reality. One of the most effective cinematic touches is that in nearly every scene, the camera is slowly swaying back and forth to give us a sense that we really are at sea. Something "Titanic" completely missed.

We follow the journey of ten survivors through the inverted ship to their hopeful rescue--narrowly escaping fires, explosions, and flooding corridors every step of the way. The sets are epic and nothing less than spectacular. Especially the inverted dining room when the Atlantic Ocean comes crashing in, and the engine room which is now a horrifying twisted metal inferno. The cast is good, however Gene Hackman, Shelly Winters, and Stella Stevens are best. Hackman is our handsome hero, Winters is our unselfish caring mother, and Stevens is absolutely radiant (pre-capsize) and adds a welcome touch of humor to the mess.

No, the movie is not perfect, and it is of course starting to look a bit dated. However the suspense and dazzling effects will keep you glued to your seat and you certainly won't be bored. Poseidon Adventure is a true classic. A must see for everyone--not just disaster movie fans.

The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)

American Cinema at its best

[12 May 2001]

It's astonishing to me that anyone actually paid money to see this film in a theater. Barbara Hale should have had her agent shot for this one. The acting is horrible, the "special effects" even worse, and the direction is absolutely non-existent. Scenes don't end, they just stop, and many of them are so dark that it's impossible to see what's going on. 2nd graders were obviously hired to do the sound and lighting, and that big nasty spider is indeed a Volkswagen Beetle wearing a fur coat and sporting large black pipe cleaners as legs. Watching this piece of trash was enough to make me consider suicide--I can only wonder why the actors didn't.

Earthquake (1974)

Not really that bad

[7/10 · 23 March 2001]

Earthquake almost realistically shows us the devastating effects of such "an event" on a large modern day city. Since movie studios didn't have the resources in 1974 to add expensive computerized effects, miniatures, camera trickery and a few large-scale destructions were used to simulate the quake. However even by today's standards, most (but not all) effects work pretty well. Many of the buildings we see crumbling to the ground are actual locals in Los Angeles and anyone who ever lived is this area (myself included) would still find watching this film chilling to say the least. The sets are very impressive - they made one helluva mess of Universal Studios making this film. The acting is so-so and the ending is disappointing and leaves us with a lot of unanswered questions: what ever happened to Miles and Rosa's brother anyway? And the scenes with Jody the weirdo are just plain uncomfortable. But as far as pure "end of the world" disaster entertainment goes, this film has it all.