josh nolan Reviews

The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle (2000)

An utter masterpiece

[10/10 · 2 May 2001]

This is one of the best slacker movies ever made! Leave your brain at the door but leave in some sentimentality for the old cartoon and bring along some extra stupidity as R & B takes you further into the world of the ridiculous. There wasn't one minute in the entire film which disappointed me, you have to build yourself up for the most tasteless, corny punchlines but that's the fun; this movie is all about how unfunny can the cast get, therefore causing lighthearted groans from the audience, which on reflection is a good thing.

The acting is obsolete as the very fast pacing of the film leaves the actors with no time to stand and act whatsoever, every line is a joke and the anonymous narrator steals the show at every turn. The sly satorical elements are cleverly tucked away so that when kids watch it they won't notice, whereas anyone older will be able to pick up on the media and social comments.

The cameos are well introduced, it seems everyone working on the production must have had a great time, especially when they were talking to thin air as the CGI'd moose and squirrel retort with quips and gags (The moose seems to have a better script than the squirrel who we're meant to relate to more, this alas is one of the only quibbles I have for this movie).

Please, everyone watch The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, it really is a good laugh.

The Dead Next Door (1989)

There's no budget, there's no talent either

[3/10 · 24 April 2001]

This movie can claim to be a low, low budget gore movie without any attempt to actually any talent even though it thinks it has. The plans were just too big for the director J R Bookwalter to handle, he also covers most of the other production roles from cameo to credits designer, evidently everything he touches, he has no talent to back up whatsoever. The movie has no pace, tension, shock value, nothing at all. The ideas are great but Bookwalter, one can only assume was exercising sloppiness, chose not to care much about them. 85 minutes long and it feels like three hours; the acting is truly awful Scott Spiegel turns up in a small role, ruins the scene and then years later directed From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money, easily one of the worst movies ever made.

I may be a tad harsh, after all these types of horror movie aren't meant to be serious, but that's the rub, I think Bookwalter is so convinced that he was making a classic that he, and the large cast could not see that he couldn't handle the scope and the end result is so bad it's bad.

The gore parts, which is why most people watch these types of movies are good for the tiny budget, every penny spent us up there on the screen, but that is it's only saving grace. Mr Bookwalter, go and learn how to make movies before actually making one, The Dead Next Door entertained me for all the wrong reasons turning what was meant to be a serious stab at filmmaking, into a camp classic for the 'Don't care' generation. Sorry mate.

Leviathan (1989)

lazy film-making pops out gem

[7/10 · 5 March 2001]

Leviathan is a pleasing ripoff from Alien. There are so many bad movies trying to emulate the pathos of Alien but Leviathan tries really hard and succeeds in capturing at least the claustrophobic atmosphere and gut-wrenching fear it intended to.

The less said about the acting the better although as this is a by-the-numbers pick 'em off movie some of the cast get to have fun at the genres expense. Peter Weller redeems himself for a man who chose career suicide by playing Robocop and would therefore be referred to as 'Him whose was Robocop' by playing quite a simpathetic character.

The effects are very well handled the least impressive being the actual mutant monstery things, it does seem however that this was probably noticed by the editors and resulted in the said beasts being largely left off the screen. The slimy slug shaped monster that buries itself into the torso of one unlucky diver is a great scene of strong body horror and most of the other deaths are both very violent and memorable, a true pointer to an effective monster flick and all you need for a good Friday night movie. Ignore the shockingly bad editing and enjoy a supremely good horror movie that wears its Alien shirt with pride.

Troll 2 (1990)

A masterpiece!

[10/10 · 28 February 2001]

Look no further for the king of video horrors, Troll 2 is a work of immense genius. Another classic of, 'So badly done that every minute is a spectacle', movie making! The best scenes involve the grandfather, who is dead, speaking to the boy of the family; the old man freezes time and gives the boy certain amounts of time to save the day! Incredible! The troll costumes look like they were made at the last minute and one in particular looks like it was made by kindergarten children in a rush! Amazing! Rent this immediately and be converted!

Killer Workout (1987)

One of the greatest movies of all time!

[9/10 · 28 February 2001]

Everyone should see Aerobicide (as it is known in England), everything about it is bad therefore, it's good! It's better than good; the gratuitous nudity, the gratuitous close ups of women in lycra, the dumb death scenes, shockingly bad production and acting values, it's a work of suppressed genius! One of the all time great so bad they're good movies every passing minute is a work of art. Top stuff.

American Tickler (1977)

Oh dear...

[1/10 · 28 February 2001]

This movie lasted 44 minutes in the video machine before I ripped it out and that was on fast forward. It's a cheap Monty Python rip off done by Americans with no comedy talent at all, the director must have forgotten to turn up on set as they were filming it. Bring back Kentucky Fried Movie all is forgiven!