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R.O.T.O.R. (1987)
If ever there was a movie I wished lived up to it's poster...
ROTOR has moments, just MOMENTS mind you, that could have been cool but bad acting, casting, directing and script bring things down to MST3K level pretty quickly. That said, somewhere beneath the illogical filler and terrible psycho babble is a terminator clone with 80s pizazz that could've worked. A terminator killer on a cool bike racing through the streets taking down anyone in his path? It should have worked. Too bad it never lives up to its awesome poster. I guess that is what budgets are for. Check out Bad Moon Rising or the Wraith for more effective 80s sci-fi cheese. Or tun the sound down and play "Surface to Air" from Zombi while watching.
Cutthroat Island (1995)
Hey, Real Stunts!!
Just as good as Pirates of the Caribbean and wonderful example of a movie that relied on practical FX and stunts. Before CGI locked its claws on Hollywood and turned film into highdef cartoons. Sure, most can complain about the hollowness of the script and some bad acting. COUGH: Matthew Modine. But, over all, if you like pirates, lost gold, remote islands real wooden ships, gigantic (and I mean GIGANTIC) explosions then this movie for you. In fact during a scene where people fall down a seaside cliff into an oncoming wave my 5 year old gasped out loud. Proof that despite our technical achievements in movie making, a solid stunt can still marvel.
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
Part 5 the worst? Not to me!
So you made it to Part 5: the "REVENGE" of Michael Myers. I'm willing to bet that you're a horror fan, dutifully going through the series. Awesome! So here's something to know before taking the part 5 plunge. Although Halloween is considered one of the big three of the 80's horror hierarchy, it's path was more unorthodox than the grind'em out sequels like that of Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street. After the ill fated Halloween 3 the series went dormant until Moustapha Akkard reacquired the rites and was, finally, able to cash in with sequels like all the other 80s slashers. A boom time he virtually created, I might add. While many horror-elites consider Part 4 a return to glory and often deride part 5 for it's illogical plot holes and annoying characters, it should be noted that Part 5 succeeds in spades with atmosphere, production value and cinematography where 4 does not. Making for one of the best looking sequels of the bunch. Sure it's a silly movie but it literally feels like Halloween when you watch it. Whereas Part 4 feels like a movie-of-the-week. So when fans say one is better than the other, know that, it's just not true. They're both equally goofy and quickly churned out to catch the final wave of sequel money. For complete incompetence simply look to part 6 Curse of Michael Myers.
Tron: Legacy (2010)
Visually Perfect..the rest, meh.
Ho-hum story of the chosen one that we've seen a zillion times (Star Wars, Dune, The Matrix, etc.) but with an even more bland lead in the vein of Chris Pine or Channing Tatum. Which only furthers the banality of the story. And yet the reason you keep your eyes glued to TRON: Legacy is for the most amazing visuals. Some can argue that pretty pictures alone don't make a movie, well, here is the rare example of when it does!! Combine grand CGI with the most dramatic and engaging electronic score courtesy of Daft Punk and you'll find yourself drooling. Sure, none of makes much sense but really who the Eff cares. That 52 inch flat-screen you got for Christmas, quite literally sucks you into the most incredible pulsating data pounding universe thats been seen since 2001! You heard me right, Kubricks 2001. OK, Cameron, Jackson, Del-Torro and Spielberg the bars been set again, time to nut up or shut up.
Señorita Justice (2004)
Shhh,...I love this movie!!!
With fanboys and even critics giving thumbs up to B*TCH SLAP, despite the fact they all admit its a terrible movie, Im compelled to defend this very guilty pleasure. Senorita Justice satiates the same itch B*TCH SLAP does but replaces the typical silicon-ed cheerleader bimbos (that Hollywood insists are the only type of woman thats sexy) with wide hipped, midriff bearing, raven haired Latina beauties. And I should know about them, I married one. Yes, yes, yes, as all the user reviews point out, the script is crapola, the acting is community theater and production quality is below telenovela. Plus the fight scenes are embarrassing, the gunfire consists of only sound effects and the soundtrack is made up of the same three songs played over and over and over and ALL the men are wienies. But, with every woman wearing the absolutely tightest outfits, giving tude and throwing down at the drop of a pin, Senorita Justice is hard to turn off. And what red blooded male (or female) can resist the sight of a belly baring Yancy Mendia shooting two silver 45s John Woo style with low rider jeans snug to her waist? There is some plot about crooked land developers...blah, blah, blah. Really, it doesn't matter, because all the strutting and scowling ends with Yancy hand to hand with a Yakuza femme fatale finale! You know, if it had cred from Rodriguez or Tarantino with Death Proof type font on the cover, it be the hitting the DVD shelves of every drooling fan-boy in North America. So, don't let the Eva Longoria fans derail this because she doesn't star, Senorita Justice is a sweet drink. Just don't admit it.
Fright Night Part 2 (1988)
Julie Carmen steals the show!
Yes, as far as originality and the excellent Chris Sarandon are concerned, the first FRIGHT NIGHT is not only superior its downright classic! And yes, the sequel does fail to raise (ahem) the stakes, as we are so accustomed to, by complicating the story, trumping the original villains and doubling the budget. Remember sequels in the 80s were never meant to do anything but run the original idea dry and cash in. So, as far as delivering a solid follow up with good humor and a fresh take on the first movie, Part II delivers. Mostly this movie is kept afloat with some fun performances by Jon (Uncle Rico) Gries and Roddy McDowell. But the slam dunk secret weapon is Julie Carmen! Bringing in a Chris Sarandon clone complete with dry humor would have sunk the sequel with repetition. It was a smart move to not only bring in the sultry female vampire equivalent but also play her straight while the others around her played for laughs. More important, however, is her ability to be sexy. After seeing tired takes, by the likes of Scarjo and Megan Fox, who believe sexy is just pouting and shoving their chest in the air, this is a performance of the ages. She simply exudes a cool calculated sex appeal with simple movements and deep eyes that are both inviting and vulnerable all the while luring the viewer in with black widow like beauty. If I was Charley Brewster, I would be dead! Simply put, what Part II lacks from its originator is made up by the sexiest vampiress ever on screen.
The Real Nam: Voices from Within (2002)
Excellent Context behind the Rambo Phenomenon!
Here's a short, but very well made documentary about Vietnam, produced for the Rambo Trilogy DVD set. A nice companion piece that, while giving some context for the Rambo films, also serves as a fine synopsis for the Vietnam War and the variety of opinions that were held by the soldiers who fought there. Best of all the story is told through the words of the people who were there and not narration. Making for a more personal story than usual.
Surely, some scholars might bristle at some omitted facts, but considering this is a DVD "Extra" that could easily have done without it, a tip of the hat should go out to to Michele Palmer and the folks from Artisan who had the presence of mind to flesh out the Vietnam War and its history before FIRST BLOOD was released. People may want to believe that the Rambo films were only bullet laden brain dead action flicks but in truth they also hit a very strong nerve with the soldiers who fought Vietnam, returned, and found that Americans (liberals & conservatives!) wanted nothing to do but sweep the whole conflict under the rug.
Rambo was an outlet, albeit sometimes a corny one, that was embraced by former vets & a public who also lamented our first "lost" war. This great documentary gives insight into the war and it's soldiers, while ever so slightly explains the ground work for which the Rambo movies would be released. Good job!!
Il mondo dell'orrore di Dario Argento (1985)
Dario's Big Pitch
No one can deny Dario Argento. Earning a place in horror as a pioneer while being as visually adept as Peter Jackson, John Woo or David Fincher. Unfortunately, his style over substance approach has limited his exposure to the European shores and to probing pesky horror fans. This could be the reason why 'Dario Argento's World of Horrors' comes off as more of a commercial than a documentary. It does have its meat, with behind the scenes footage and interviews but it also comes off somewhat contrived. The interviews, for instance, have him talking directly to the camera expressing thoughts and reasons on various projects. While this gives a somewhat intimate approach it also looks staged and heavy handed with Dario looking like he's just talking to himself. Once more the editing is just too abrupt and distracting making it look extremely amateurish with the result being uneven pacing between interviews and selected scenes. OK, this was Michele Soavi's first gig, but harsh cuts and uneven progression are something an editor is hired to fix. More importantly it never really fleshes out his many film contributions but instead seems content to be Argento's argument to the world that he is a valid director. Almost like propaganda. Yuck. It's too bad, because the proof is in the pudding. The more we discover about his films the more we see how inventive and influential his style is. The interesting info is just glanced over here and I wanted more. Such as his Technicolor filming of Suspiria, the makeup effects in Demons, or the fantastic production design for Tenebre. Footage was shown but never explained or commented on. I wanted to see more about his various styles of camera work that seems almost ripped off by contemporary films. Also you could have put aside an hour alone on his work with composer Ennio Morricone and the band Goblin. Now group this with the fact that it's somewhat dated (Miami vice music and all) and what you have is an interesting but uninspired 76 minutes.
Metallica: Cliff 'Em All! (1987)
Absomuthaf#ckin..Lutely!!
Years ago, this video tribute combined live footage, interviews and home video all involving Metallica's original bassist Cliff Burton. Who had just died in, possibly, the most bizarre bus accident this side of rock n roll. Today, "Cliff'Em All" stands out as a time capsule for fans of the original lineup with its great peak at a band that was in the 80s, the benchmark for all Metal bands.
At the time of the video's release, Hair Metal (Dokken, Poison, etc..) was the big thing on MTV but more upsetting was the assumption that these bands were the musical voice of male youth. Being a proud Metal vet let me clarify something in our old vernacular: NOT! Transgender, spandex clad, hair quaffed pretty boys churning out generic power ballads were for the Girls. Or at most, guilty pleasures and slow dancing at school. While, the relic metal bands from England with songs about Dragons, Rainbows and Guillotines were growing real old, real fast.
It was the time of a new, faster, louder, and chaotic Metal movement. One that embraced the stark sounds of Sabbath and Zeppelin while combining it with the anarchic, DIY attitude of punk. The results were bands like Slayer, Anthrax, S.O.D. and Megadeth. (sniff
god Bless, em!) But the crème del la crème of the new breed was undoubtedly Metallica.
At that time, they didn't look like the wanna be rock stars they are know. They looked like your average Headbanger. Complete with black jeans, shaggy hair and white high-tops sneakers. The kinda guys who drove the beat up Trans Am to school, which would rumble out of the parking lot around 1 PM, signaling, they were cutting class. The kinda guys who would come to school the day after a concert with the tour shirt as evidence that he saw Ozzy. The guys who were failing art class but had every band logo perfectly rendered on his folder. He couldn't remember the pledge of allegiance but he knew the lyrics of "Paranoid" backwards. But I digress
Alas Metallica's sound was what made the real difference: relentless, compelling and fast. It took the next evolutionary step from "British Steel" as opposed to "Theater of Pain." Metallica were the band that played for their fellow Headbangers instead of the hair chicks at the Roxy.
Watching "Cliff'Em All" and seeing the group during those great days, it's easy to see why they garnered a ravenous following. From frantic head shaking live performances to unprofessional interviews. You can sense that Lars, Kirk, James and Cliff lived and breathed Metal in its purest form: loud and heavy! Not the watered down, crossover, cop-out attempts done by the Motley Crue wannabes.
If you ever wondered why Metallica graced the T-shirts of so many guys in the 80s, "Cliff'Em All" will help shed some light. It also provides humorous moments of the band being candid. Especially Cliff, who in one scene, manages to set back all the hard work that Nancy Regan's "Just Say No" campaign, strove for.
Cliff's death was unfortunate! Seeing him then, it's just impossible to envision him in what Metallica has become today. "Cliff'Em All" proves he was never cut out to be an eyeliner wearing, art collecting, wannabe elitist that the current Metallica outfit has become. Thank the Metal Gods for that.
R.I.P, Cliff. We miss you!