Tostig66 Reviews

Guns Akimbo (2019)

Misses the target

[5/10 · 1 March 2024]

This film simply thinks it's clever than it actually is. It's a satire about the toxicity of the comment sections of social media and its point is made in the first two minutes, but it doesn't really have anything to add to that point.

With satire comes comedy, There are a couple of funny jokes in it, but there aren't enough and most of those present are weak.

The characters are little more than tropes, and yet they even have the audacity to say that this isn't the usual story about the nerd chasing the girl, but that's exactly what it is.

Critically though this is a movie with action in it. There's no doubt that some of the directorial flair and visuals are different. But different doesn't make it better. It has the audacity to have the film hard target playing in the background of one scenes. That film has a same basic premise of a man being hunted for sport , except it is superior in every possible way. Critically the action scenes are badly directed with too much frenetic editing and no real sense of tension or storytelling to them. Considering this is coming out in the era of John Wick it pails by comparison.

True Detective: Night Country: Part 6 (2024) Season 4, Episode 6

Oh come on!

[5/10 · 20 February 2024]

Foster is one of the greatest actors of all time and doesn't know how to give a bad performance. Reid is a revelation and I can't wait to see what she does next. But the screen writers are the BIG problem.

Fortitude and The Thing are great, but they don't need a 2024 remix. True Detective is a mixed bag. Season 1 is peerless, season 2 was seriously underwhelming, season 3 was great but with the original creatives gone season 4 suffers the same issues as 2. It's not fundamentally bad, but it's too derivative and also doesn't know quite what it wants to be.

Season 1 and 3 had the slightest injection of magical realism. Are these hallucinations? Exaggerations? Everything can be explained rationally but there is just the subtlest question marks. Here the whole season has leaned out right into the supernatural. True Detective is not supernatural horror. The solution shouldn't be ghosts, it's rarely satisfying in a detective story and it isn't here. Also the fate of one person makes no sense at all and counts on a group of people not acting in anyway like actual humans. It's not "spur of the moment" it's terrible writing. Unbelievable revelation is stacked on irrational behaviour in this episode. Plus people are freezing to death with no hope only to not be in the next scene- what? Just profoundly disappointing.

An average horror movie stretched over a season of TV that thinks it's much smarter than it is.

Oldboy (2003)

An acquired taste

[7/10 · 29 January 2024]

I saw this for the first time the same week I watched Battle Royale. With the other movie, it's very high concept and very violent, but I much preferred it.

The issue with oldboy is there is an intriguing mystery in the middle of all of this. Why has he been locked up for 15 years? It's a great conceit, but the payoff, personally for me, doesn't work.

The films violence is so heightened it shares more in common with Battle Royale than it does with a great drama. And yet despite the ridiculousness of the central character and the overall plot, nobody is having any fun. Everybody is very serious and the climax for me was overblown melodrama which I didn't believe at all.

The direction is incredible, the very famous scenes are quite rightly highly regarded. But it's quite a long movie for quite a slight idea which you either go with or don't. This movie clearly isn't for everyone it didn't work for me - you have been warned.

You Are What You Eat: A Twin Experiment (2024)

Biased agenda NOT science

[1/10 · 14 January 2024]

Netflix is great at drama. This came out about the same time as the genius Fall of the House of Usher. Witcher, Narcos, Orange is the new Black- Netflix gets what it takes to make great drama.

But for documentaries it fails to understand the difference between fact and entertainment. Hancock's Ancient Apocalypse regurgitated uniformly condemned bad history whose theories were discredited decades ago. Having a black Cleopatra is fine in a drama but not a documentary.

This is a long intro to say Netflix has a track record in making things entertaining first and worrying about facts a distant second,

Each episode opens with a disclaimer that it is not scientific but then spends the rest of the run time looking very "sciency".

No consideration is given to benefits of animal products the answer to everything is Veganism. Now we do need to cut down meat in our diets and a balanced, low fat, no processed diet is healthy. But most nutritionists say the same thing- everything in moderation is generally the way to go, including the quest to make the world vegan. Meat and dairy are rich in some nutrients that are very hard to to get from a plant only diet- this point is never conceded. This was funded by an organisation with links to Veganism and is therefore nothing but propaganda for one world view only.

It's not even that entertaining.

Saltburn (2023)

So far up its own arse that it could give itself a colonoscopy

[2/10 · 9 January 2024]

Beautifully shot, never not gorgeous to look at, with great songs from a generation earlier. So it is cinematic. Everyone is acting even if they are acting as tropes.

The whole thing is totally derivative Fall of the House of Usher, Talented Mr Ripley, Brideshead Revisited, Call me by Your Name are all present and correct. Populated with cardboard cut out characters and I do not believe ANY woman would be turned on by having her menstrual blood put in her mouth. Yup that happens.

Dark comedy- I laugh at anything...except this

Psycho thriller- wasn't thrilled

Satirical commentary- Had nothing to say.

Doctor Who: The Star Beast (2023) Season Unknown, Episode Unknown

3rd time lucky

[6/10 · 8 January 2024]

Hmmm

Site keeps not posting my review so I'll avoid any contentious language and in a way that's the problem.

Doctor Who is a kids show and while inclusivity should be taught at an early age, the show is fundamentally about being chased down corridors by monsters. No show like this should haul on the brakes to stop the story for the lesson of the week. At least He-Man had the decency to do that at the end of the episode after the story was done.

If the run time was more focussed on entertaining rather than educating it would have been 8 stars the opening monologue by Tennant really makes you want to see what happens next. But there are too many lectures that kill the narrative momentum leading to a ludicrous climax, and this show is about a time travelling Alien!

Silent Night (2023)

Experimental action film?

[6/10 · 30 December 2023]

Could silent night, be the world's first art house action movie? Directed by the action, Master John Woo who spent nearly 20 years making historical drama films in China returns to the genre that put him on the map in the first place. Nobody can dispute the peerless action drama of the likes of hard boiled, hard target and face off. But those were all long time ago.

I don't know why he decided to make another American movie after such a long hiatus, but he is back with an intriguing idea of doing a film with no dialogue at all. There are a few moments of showing newspaper cuttings or texts to add a little bit of flavour, but he wanted to come up with an idea of explaining an entire story with no dialogue, and it works. The idea of a bereaved father going for revenge and slowly coming up with his plan is really intriguing and Woo does it extremely well. Let's be honest a lot of action dialogue is really there to set up the conflict and is often criticised for being cheesy.

The problem is after an opening action scene when there is nothing except seeing the father train there isn't enough in this film. It could've really of done with a big action sequence in the middle to reassure you. With no funny dialogue no plot twist you've seen all of this done before in a more entertaining way and without the dialogue no matter how well done it is it is, I'm sorry to say, a bit dull. When the action comes, it's good, but it isn't peak Woo.

It turns out there's a reason why we have dialogue in movies after all.

Bodies (2023)

As the kids today say, it's "Mid"

[4/10 · 2 November 2023]

As many other reviews have stated trying to get a truly plot hole free time travel story is notoriously difficult. People then seem to give it a pass. There is no doubt that money has been spent on good actors and lavish sets. But to be honest, this is a lot of effort for something that's a bit mediocre.

For starters, I don't believe that any of the four central police officers trying to solve this crime are real people. You can almost imagine how proud the screen writers were coming up with characters like "he's a cop in World War II, but he's also Jewish!" That's just ...so clever... here have an Emmy. Everyone of the four police officers are a type plus a little Twist. Some people may say that that's good writing but it's so formulaic it comes across as insincere.

Then they're all the historical inaccuracies, this is important for something that covers 160 years. It very explicitly says the events during World War II are in 1941, it then shows that London being bombed in the Blitz, which happened in 1940. Changing the date would cost nothing, or change the events if it has to be 1941. It doesn't matter which period we're talking about everybody talks the same way. There is no way the Victorian police officer in 1890 would talk the same way we do today. It's almost like the writers had a clever idea and were forced to populate the idea with AI generated dramatic characters.

Then they're all the cliches. Back to World War II. There was a scene in the second episode where the cop lights up a cigar waiting in the dark, sitting in a chair. It's very cool. He then surprises a man as he walks into the room. There is no way a person could walk into a room and not smell a cigar. You might think this is minor, but this sort of thing happens A LOT. My issue is there are better time travel dramas that don't make these sorts of amateurish errors.

Finally, without giving anything away, the central Twist isn't very well explained with numerous plot holes so frankly there are better stories out there. I would rather watch Looper or back to the future or in particular Dark again than watch this.

The Creator (2023)

Big scale, intelligence sci-fi

[8/10 · 2 October 2023]

From the director of Rogue One, one of the best, most thoughtful Star Wars films comes a completely new setting for yet more grand scale world building with an eye on morality, philosophy and even spirituality.

It the middle of the 21st century and America is at war with AI. Not other nations, but the "simulants" which are basically AI robots. These AIs live in harmony in New Asia which covers countries like Thailand, Vietnam and Nepal. The director shot on location and then added just enough post production visual effects to make you believe that you are looking at the real world which has evolved into a human, AI hybrid.

This film always looks stunning but there is plenty of story and fleshed out characters to inhabit it. The acting is always believable particularly the main AI girl who was played by a remarkable 7 year old actress. This is not style over substance. If there's one issue is Edwards the director has clearly been a little too inspired by the likes of Akira, Blade Runner, District 9 and Platoon. Saying that, that is a list of great films and meshed together you get something genuinely original.

It's heavily anti-military industrial complex and at times even has a sense of humour (so it's not all po faced and earnest). Also this movie has a beginning, middle and end. No cliff hangers for a sequel this is a movie that tells 1 story- a real revelation in the modern world.

65 (2023)

A swing and a miss

[5/10 · 8 July 2023]

The Jurassic World movies have been getting worse and worse and yet they have a monopoly on dinosaur films. So I wanted this to work. Also the idea of a sci-fi humans landing on earth to fight dinosaurs 65 million years ago- well it sells itself.

Considerable effort was made to add character motivation and back story. It's all good but it NMEA d right out of the gate the tone is wrong. I want to see Adam Driver be chased by dinosaurs and get into nail biting fights with them. And while ...yes that's there, it should be 80% of the film not 20%. It's simply not what you're paying for.

There's one intolerably long scene where they are stuck in a cave- come on!

All very Poe faced for a creature feature.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

Animated Perfection

[10/10 · 7 June 2023]

Apart from the cliffhanger ending, this is a perfect film. The animation in the opening battle with the vulture combines so many different art styles I literally had tears in my eyes. This film is ALWAYS beautiful. The sense of kinetic movement the best ever in animation history.

But it is not a case of style over substance. It has real emotional heft. It spends a lot of time exploring parent child relationships. The classic coming of age elements and even the issue of fate and it's impact on morality. There is A LOT going on here (and that's not including the deluge of Easter eggs)- no wonder they need another film to finish the story.

The voice acting is AMAZING and the music adds another assault on the senses.

On another point THIS is how to do diversity. Too many films are so loud about their diversity they forget to make a good film. Here they are just getting on with creating perfection and everything is there because it works.

Another Oscar is guaranteed and Beyond the Spiderverse cannot come too soon.

Marvel's Midnight Suns (2022 Video Game)

Finished the game and it has flaws

[7/10 · 6 June 2023]

Ok by now you know this is a turned based strategy games where you play cards to attack or heal or buff. Those mechanics are super slick. If everything else was that quality it would be a 9. So good news, the core gameplay is pretty much perfect - although the learning process takes some time.

Interacting with some of marvels most famous super heroes can be a lot of fun. But it does go on a bit! The interactions with them start to drag after a while. Then on top of that there is the other part of the game where you explore the grounds. They are simply not diverse enough to be interesting. I found a few things, and I obviously missed a key moment to activate the cauldron, which I never worked out what to do with that, but at the same time I don't feel like I missed out on the game. The bottom line is that the stuff back at base is pretty bland.

Then there's the lack of polish. There are a number of key moments where there's some bad clipping on character models, and even some poor animations of characters in cut scenes. Which leads onto the final battle. No spoilers, but while all games want to finish with an epic crescendo this over stays its welcome by about half an hour. It just goes on and on, and not in a good way. I did it first time, but it's safe to say that once the credits rolled I had no interest in playing anymore.

This is a great start, and I would be really interested in a sequel, provided it fixes the main problems with this version.

Ted Lasso: We'll Never Have Paris (2023) Season 3, Episode 8

Like the thought of the day in He Man

[4/10 · 7 May 2023]

That's how my wife described it. In case you don't know, 80s cartoons quite often ended with a 1 minute morality lesson. It was always the most boring part of the episode. Ted Lasso season 3 has taken this idea and stretched it to 50 mins!

It's dull, preachy and concentrating on the least interesting characters. The show is called Ted Lasso and he's barely in it anymore. I'm also pretty sure it used to be a comedy but I can't remember the last time I gave more than a thin smile.

Back in 2020 this light comedy drama was what everyone needed the hope and positivity was a great antidote to a lockdown. The scenario was never robust enough for hard hitting drama but now nobody is the antagonist and every week there's a life lesson to learn- considering the bad language it has to be aimed at teens/adults it's fair to say the viewers already know these life lessons.

History of the World: Part II (2023)

More miss than hit

[4/10 · 3 May 2023]

Mel Brookes is a comedy genius- Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, The Producers - you know his work. The original movie that this is a continuation of was a series of hit and miss sketches and this continues that theme.

Generally he is exuberant and tasteless, in a very funny way. But for the 21st-century, the writers seem to think that swearing can replace a punchline or a funny conceit.

The first episode is strong, but it's rapidly downhill from there. There is a little fun to have here but not enough to warrant a whole TV show. This is sub SNL on a slow week. Fundamentally, it's just not funny enough, and most of the sketches that do land go on for too long. This is surprising, because nobody was expecting this to come out, and therefore had 40 years to gestate and get right. Real missed opportunity.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

Surely this rating should go up to 11?

[10/10 · 22 April 2023]

Perhaps not the first spoof documentary, but certainly the greatest. I have been watching this movie off and on for 30 years and I'm still discovering little moments in the background or comments that I didn't quite catch. It's subtle you can't really half listen to this while doing a commute on a train or something. But if you pay attention, you realise that this is like fire and ice and you are in the middle like lukewarm water.

Multiple rock bands in the 1980s watched this film and were convinced that it was about them, this is how realistic it is. Saying that though it is a loving tribute to the hair metal of the late 70s on into the 80s. The songs are pretty catchy, but are also dripping in the misogyny of the time, deliberately so. It's funny, it's satirical and it has as many classic lines as Casablanca, just funnier.

Hard Target (1993)

Probably JCVD's Best

[7/10 · 7 April 2023]

This is pure Woo. The basic plot is based on Jack London's unfinished book The Assassination Bureau Ltd. Which is where a group of rich men pay to hunt and kill another man. It's a classic and preposterous set up that has been used before and after this movie.

What the basic plot allows for us a string of cool action set pieces with JCVD's signature spin kicks and Woo's signature slow mo shoot outs.

The end result is a completely satisfying bit of action cinema. The stunt work is inventive, the villain, played by Lance Hendrickson, is pure evil and you can't wait for him to meet his maker or in the case of this film JCVD's boot.

There is a tiny bit of subtext about the plight of the homeless in America and how society treats the less fortunate. This stops the film being tasteless but it's really not a thought piece on the economically disadvantaged. If you want realistic, or character development or subtle then this isn't for you.

Instead what you have is 90 minutes of slick action entertainment with guns, motorbike chases, explosions, stunts, kicks, a scene where JCVD punches a rattle snake and only 1 of 2 mullets that are actually cool (the other is Riggs in Lethal Weapon).

Perfect Saturday night entertainment with a takeaway.

The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017)

Pure entertainment

[7/10 · 2 April 2023]

Some movies explore the human condition. Others challenge you with the shocking reality of some dark historical or social reality. A third sort are designed to put a smile on your face and finish it with a warm fun feeling. This is that kind of film.

It's short on plot, literally has nothing to say about the world (although it's comments about Belarus and the International Criminal Court have actually aged scarily well). It's sweary fun as the two leads clearly try and out do each other for laughs in each scene and Hayek as the 3rd key character is also a blast.

The stunt work is top notch, the soundtrack is fun and the 3 of them are having so much fun it rubs off on the viewer. Looking for pure entertainment- this is a fun Saturday night.

American Me (1992)

Solid if unoriginal

[6/10 · 31 March 2023]

The gangster movie is an American art form. This film was made with a lot of love and sincerity. It takes us through the life of a young man who turns to crime and ends up running a criminal empire. It shows the brutal realities of prison and like any good period gangster film teaches you a little bit about the world that you might not have previously known. For example, had no idea about the zoot suit riots of World War II.

The acting is superb, the story takes us through decades of time is truly ambitious. But the problem is the direction is workmanlike, and when you compare it with the best of the gangster films, it simply falls short at every level. The story and characters while heartfelt in their creation are nothing new. All of this feels incredibly sincere, but at the same time isn't really telling us anything we haven't already seen in better movies. Something a bit different, always good it just never elevates itself to great.

Interrogator (2022– )

Can't you see how edgy I'm being?

[5/10 · 27 February 2023]

If you don't know the world of Warhammer 40,000. It's a dystopian future where human civilisation is under a fascist dictatorship. One of the group of enforces of the emperor's Will are the inquisitors. Like their namesake from the mediaeval era, they are there to root out heresy in all its forms creating a series of about a murky and morally complex role is a good one. The black-and-white art style is reminiscent of Sin City and while the animation is a little static (cheap?) too often, it is appropriate for the content.

The problem is fundamentally this. While the setting is new, the story is just one cliche after another. The opening scene is the protagonist agonising over the Demons of his past. It's not done badly but it's been done better many times before. And that's the problem with the whole thing we move from one scene you've seen before to another familiar scenario, all set to what an A-level drama student thinks is intense. Not bad, just very derivative and once again is not a reason to subscribe to Warhammer+.

Seeking the First Dinosaur Hunters (2022)

Insightful angle into the world of dinosaurs

[9/10 · 6 February 2023]

As children, we all know about dinosaurs. We even end up having a favourite one. However, 500 years ago, the word "dinosaur" didn't exist and any kind of fossil evidence was attributed to things as diverse as dragons or petrified snakes. But, about 200 years ago, scientist, started to come up with the idea that there was an ancient era where giant lizards roamed the world.

That's what this fascinating documentary is about. It's not a complete history of the Jurassic or Cretaceous, but instead, it's the story of the slow realisation that scientific rigour was needed when discovering these ancient fossilised remains.

Am I Being Unreasonable? (2022– )

Falls between 2 stools

[5/10 · 23 October 2022]

Comedy is a personal thing. You find this funny- great! I didn't. It seems to want to be a sitcom but without the fast paced gags. Observational comedy, observing nothing new.

I've seen other reviews saying the story evolves. Ok so it's a drama with comedy except, it's not really dramatic enough to be story driven.

Alright then it's a character study. Except the script and characters aren't profound enough to really care that much. There's swearing, there's marital issues, there a child with dwarfism- ok, none of that makes it Happy Valley or the Sopranos.

It's trying to be all of these things but doesn't spend enough time on any of them to really hit. Again, if you loved it- great. But if you want real drama, or real character development or real belly laughs there's better out there.

Samaritan (I) (2022)

Average film elevated by Stallone

[6/10 · 6 September 2022]

You have seen all of this before, done better. The chemistry between Stallone and Sam is great, it's the beating heart of the film. It's just everything else is workmanlike and uninspiring. Even the superhero costumes look like they took 5 minutes to design.

The basic plot is there used to be super heroes and the city needs the return of a hero as it slowly declines... has a young boy found one of them as a retired garbage man? You already know the answer. It allows Stallone to do another world-weary and wise old man. Think Rocky in Creed , only all aspects of that film was great.

It's not bad, it's average and a reminder that Stallone has real star power.

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

B movie fun

[7/10 · 27 August 2022]

Since this movie's release in 2004 there have been multiple additions to the alien and predator franchises which have largely only made this entry look better (Prey is excellent and better than this).

Does this come anywhere close to the original predator or the first two alien films? No because those are classics. What this is, is glorious B-movie monster versus monster fun.

It does a very good job of fusing together these two unrelated franchises into a story that is credible to both creatures. It also puts both the predator and alien in an environment you've never seen before. Most of the action takes place in an ancient pyramid/tomb which is constantly reconfiguring itself. It's a cool idea and the humans in the middle play their roles well.

It's a lot of fun if you're not looking for anything taxing. It's far more competently made than The Predator, it's a lot less hysterical than Predator 2 and is a lot more fun and exciting than either Prometheus or alien covenant. But be warned, its sequel is easily the worst of both franchises.

Better Call Saul: Breaking Bad (2022) Season 6, Episode 11

Good TV? Yes. Essential? No.

[6/10 · 2 August 2022]

One of the only criticism that people levelled against the original breaking bad is that at times it was rather slow.

While there's nothing wrong with taking its time, better call Saul took this to a whole new level. Any scene is a masterpiece but do you really need six seasons to tell the story of how the lawyer from one TV series...became that lawyer?

The main story seem to have been wrapped up a couple of episodes of ago. What we are now in is a 4 hour epilogue. The story of this prequel has neatly been set up for the original show. It's nice to see what happens next for Saul, but come on how long does this need to be drawn out for?

Not bad, just unnecessary.

The Essex Serpent (2022)

Misses ever target it sets up

[6/10 · 24 June 2022]

The titular serpent is a mysterious creature lurking in the twisted coast of Victorian England. There is a tension between science and faith, rational thought and superstition tied up in a tight knit community fearing outsiders. This sounds like a very clever setting of a Gothic horror story would be right.

Direction is sublime, the acting is excellent with a stellar cast and this is a big budget affair.

So why only a 6? Because I describe above is only a third of the story. The rest of it is silly love triangles expensive secondary character stories that lead nowhere and have no bearing on the overall plot. A number of people act in completely irrational ways and ultimately this is as damp squib as the reveal of what the Essex serpent is.