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Reviews
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)
Sadly nothing new
This movie is a remarkable collection of action movie cliches.
Right off the bat the movie smacks you in the face with the age-old Russians cliche with a bunch of guys speaking English (?) with a ridiculous russian accent.
The cliches continue, with virtually ALL the characters explaining the plot in cringey, dramatic half-whispering voices.
The Entity, the main villain of the film reminds me a lot of early 2000s sci-fi/action flicks, trying to imagine an AI going out of control. Given that it's 2020s, they had an amazing opportunity to explore the topic of AI in much more detail and way more realistically. But they didn't. The whole AI story just falls flat on it's face and the only plausible reaction of the audience to that is a condescending smirk.
Something must've happened with the sound recording, because the dialogue sounds extremely isolated and unnatural with no room sound whatsoever. Perhaps they had to do some heavy de-noising.
The acting is meh, the music is meh, even the stunts felt underwhelming. This part seems weaker than most of the previous ones.
Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (2022)
Profoundly meh
Watchable during Halloween just for the f of it. Still, this series is surprisingly unoriginal. I suppose an even better description would be extremely derivative and underwhelming. A couple of episodes stand out as more or less enjoyable, while the rest just makes you feel like you're eating some bottom-of-the-barrel fast food. Just a disturbing lack of originality. I am trying to get the minimum required characters amount, but this creation is just so unimpressive and lame that I struggle to find anything else to say about it. Just watch something better. Probably need to get off Netflix to do that.
Expected more of Benicio del Toro. (Shut up, I'm just joking.)
Blonde (2022)
Old story, modern sensibilities
Points for:
+Cinematography
+Acting
+Costume and set design
+Boobage
Credit where credit is due - the technical side of the movie is on point - people responsible for the image and sound do their best. Only the score was very strange and inappropriately modern, which is weird, since usually composers do the best job.
The rest is incessant 'man bad, wuman gud' rhetoric intertwined with rejecting personal responsibility and blaming the society for your misery. Just non-stop self-pity, delusions of grandeure, drug abuse and amoral behavior. Nobody is forcing you to sell your body and soul for fame, the choice was and is yours.
House of the Dragon: The Heirs of the Dragon (2022)
Middle of the road
Middling in every aspect imaginable: the CGI could be better, sets could be more convincing, music could be more original (Ramin is resting on his laurels without even trying to create something new).
The biggest issue so far, though, is the cast, which is very weak. The Daenerys lookalike is the only moderately charismatic character and even she is pretty boring. For some reason they also chose a guy with the most annoying face in the universe to play Daemon.
Johnny Got His Gun (1971)
The world needs this movie
Every jingoistic, war-supporting, sabre-rattling idiot needs to watch this.
There is no justification of war and it should have become a thing of the past a long time ago. Alas, it appears we are still not that different from apes.
The Batman (2022)
Almost perfect
I had somewhat low expectations as the first promo materials made it look like a smaller, almost indie production. I will list the strengths and the weaknesses:
The Good:
- One of the coolest intro sequences of the recent years.
- Super cool dark vibe.
- Fantastic casting - everybody is perfect for the role.
- Paul Dano is AMAZING in this.
- Super satisfying sound.
- Excellent score.
The Bad:
- The film is too long. The last half an hour doesn't work, all momentum is lost after Batman's dialogue with the Riddler.
- Pattinson's acting, while decent, was somewhat disappointing, especially after Tenet and his indie films. At times (hospital dialogue scene) it was outright cringe.
- The finale with it's internet wannabe Riddler nerds is a letdown. I suppose I was expecting a mind-blowing reveal after the dialogue in the asylum.
- I hate them for ruining the scene with the Batmobile reveal. Such an insane buildup with the IMAX sound system going nuts and then the Batmobile just stalls (or whatever that was).
Random note: watching this in IMAX, I did not notice a single scene that was actually in IMAX format. There were black bars throughout. Maybe I just missed it.
My Father the Hero (1994)
Doesn't deserve the hate
This film gets a bum rap and I really don't get why. Maybe it's because they showed some 15 year old butt for a few seconds. I went in with very low expectations and was pleasantly surprised. The movie is warm, charming and actually funny at times. Worth a watch.
No Time to Die (2021)
Not bad
Minus 1 point for the RUSSIANS trope. Seriously, this is not even funny anymore. They have been doing this since the 60s...
Mank (2020)
Mediocre award bait
Sure, the cinematography and production design are pretty cool in this, but beyond that there's nothing noteworthy about this movie.
Angels & Demons (2009)
Brief expression of disappointment
This film doesn't do the great novel justice. The poorly reimagined plot points, the cringey dialogue exposition, and, God... Why on Earth would you replace the badass Arab assassin, the most enigmatic character from the book with some dork in glasses?
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)
Meh
It's alright. The villain is super bland and forgettable. As is the plot, frankly. But MI is about ridiculous impossible scanarios and this movie has that.
P.S. They tried hard, but I'm still not buying a BMW.
Tenet (2020)
To be watched more than once
This may well be the most unique film of the 21st century so far. It pushes so many boundaries - the plot, the cinematography, the stunts, the action.
Whether you like Nolan movies, Tenet is a must watch, since it's something you have never seen before. Almost inaccessible at first, the film assembles itself like a puzzle in front of your eyes during successive viewings.
Chris Nolan has always challenged himself in the making of his films and with Tenet he also challenges his audience. The first time I saw the movie I was extremely confused, though very impressed. The second time I could follow the plot, see new details and understand subtle cues hinting at what's to come. In a way you start seeing thing like a time-traveller.
The score is incredible.
Tenet is a marvel. Storytelling-wise and technically. Although not flawless, this movie is so special and so different that I can not give it anything but a 10.
Õiglus (2019)
Sublime
This film is like a breath of fresh air in the suffocating dystopian landscape of modern cinema, where pretentiousness and utter lack of creativity are rife.
Justice is flawless in every aspect - from the stunning performances of the actors to the cutting edge visual effects.
The length of the movie is also perfect - just long enough to feel like a feature film, but at the same time not exhaustingly long like today's major productions tend to be.
All in all - an absolutely spectacular debut by mr Aria, the film's director.
Geroy (2019)
Quintessentially russian
I couldn't help but think that this film is an attempt to cram as many cringey cliches (which even Hollywood has long since abandoned) into one production as possible. The movie just feels like a parody, where everything is said and done just for the sake of recreating what you once saw in another, better film.
The editing is outright nauseating - just pay attention to the amount of cuts in any scene.
While the CGI is terrible (just look at the skydiving scene with the pasted-in faces), thankfully there's not too much of it.
The music is nice at times, but leaves you absolutely exhausted as it NEVER stops. Not for one solid minute. One of the numerous strange choices in this film.
This movie's biggest problem is probably its writing. You keep asking yourself "Who is this?" There are like 5 attractive young women with a ponytail who look identical in this film.
Everything is all over the place.