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Reviews
Max Steel (2016)
One scene of Max in his "armor"
I downloaded this for my son who loves the animated series. I watched it in super fast motion to see if it will hold his attention. At 55 minutes you finally see Max's armor. He gets hit once by a... I don't know... some creature and the suit disappears. 17 minutes later, he gets his suit again and dukes it out against another dude in an armored suit. Didn't need to watch the fight scene. I can tell that this movie will hold the attention of a child for about 17 minutes, only because they can't wait to see Max Steel in his armor fighting creatures like in the series. Alas, it is a big pile of poop. I was watching at 10x speed and was still bored. Sad. What a waste. They should have made a 2 hour animated movie.
Plemya (2014)
Much ado about nothing
This is one of those movies that artsy, intellectual people will claim is a masterpiece, when it's just a boring, senseless, silent film. The characters are speaking, just in sign language. But apparently the dialogue was so bad, they didn't bother to translate it. I guess if you're a struggling screen writer, you can write movies in sign language with no subtitles. Have you ever gone to a museum and seen a painting that is simply a white canvas? You walk on by and see a white canvas, while artsy, intellectuals grasp at some asinine interpretation to justify the genius of the artist and prove they're smarter than the rest of us. You know, the ones that claim, "it's pregnant with meaning", while it's a blank canvas that someone mistakenly hung on the wall. That is THIS movie. The great thing about his movie, there are no spoiler alerts, because nothing happens. I know you want to see what the hub-bub is about, so go online, download it, watch the first 6 minutes, and then save yourself 2 hours that you could otherwise, never get back.
Fruitvale Station (2013)
What is with all the great reviews?
It's a true story. It is a semi-tragic event. You already know the ending. I thought there would be some background and character development that would make me truly compassionate and empathetic. Alas, no. Here is a 22-year-old convict with a young child. Not one decision was made in his life with any concept of consequence. He gets his girlfriend pregnant as a teenager. He goes to prison for dealing drugs. He cheats on his girlfriend. He loses his job. All of these events in his life were avoidable. They were CHOICE. So as much as I want to root for him, I find myself not caring. You have to take most of the story with a grain of salt. The story is highlighting the BEST of Oscar Grant, and still the character portrayed is a selfish, irresponsible loser. So when he is killed, regardless of the method in which it occurred, I don't feel a thing. I actually feel that society is better off without him. The acting is solid. The direction is pretty good. The story is simply not uplifting or inspiring.
Open Grave (2013)
I'm shocked that the ranking is so low
This was a real sleeper of a movie. I expected another silly horror/suspense flick. But instead was pleasantly surprised with an absolute gem of a film. From the second the film begins you are running through dozens of possible scenarios. At times I thought it would be a serial killer movie. Then I was thinking zombies. And then mad scientist. You can't turn it off or turn away. You will try to piece it together along with the characters of the film, who are just as clueless as the viewer. Excellent story, acting, directing. Fantastic horror/suspense/mystery film. The movie reminded me of Eden Log in terms of its mysterious nature and development. A MUST SEE.
Hannibal (2013)
The BEST show on Network TV
I never thought I would see the day when a crime/suspense/thriller on network TV would rival those of cable TV. This show has it all. It's dark, eerie, raw, disturbing, intriguing and suspenseful. The writing and direction are fantastic. Mads Mikkelsen is brilliant. And the rest of the cast is top notch.
The only thing that can hurt this program is the network. NBC canceled one episode because of violence among children. Odd that a liberal network would air such a violent and disturbing concept and then cancel episodes. Make up your mind... take a risk or don't... get off the fence.
This show is too sophisticated for the average viewer and probably won't make it to a second season, which will be beyond disappointing. It is a sad day in entertainment when Honey Boo Boo and the Kardashians receive more demand than a masterpiece like this.
The Master (2012)
Great therapy for insomniacs
The movie has fantastic acting from start to finish. Of that there is no denying. But the story couldn't be less interesting. And the movie couldn't get any slower. In between naps, I prayed for some kind of resolution or direction. Alas no. The movie just displayed scenes of dim people being manipulating into being part of a group of which their beliefs and motives were never truly defined. I think the followers were as confused as the people watching the film. What I can say is that if you are having trouble sleeping, this movie will surely cure you. With some heavy editing and perhaps some screen writing that arrives at some objective or destination would have really made this an enjoyable film.
Margaret (2011)
A two and a half hour estrogen-fest...
The acting was superb. A 30-year-old Paquin does a great job playing a 16-year-old, snotty, little whore. Just curious as to why they couldn't find someone maybe in their 20's to play the role? Unfortunately, it's like a teen-age Sookie... even more annoying and screechy (if that's possible).
The writing is good. The editing is horrible. There are long draw out scenes that add NOTHING to the plot. We know she is self-centered. We know she is a hussy. Her mom isn't involved and dad is out of the picture. We get it. She's a know-it-all, self-destructive teenager trying to cope with a horrific "accident". BTW, unless it is an act of nature, it isn't an accident... EVER. It is always someone's fault when a human is involved... PERIOD.
Anyway, after two hours, you wish you were the one hit by the bus. And you still have a half hour to go. What was the point of the movie? They have some in-school discussion about 9-11 and they try to draw ties between the Muslim world point-of-view vs the US point-of-view. And some obnoxious Syrian girl spouts her anti-American rhetoric. I was praying for someone to tell her she is FREE to leave... it is America... land of the free.
But there is no link between the two events. 9-11 has several points of view. The "accident" in the movie doesn't. One person is at fault. No matter how you look at it, right is right.
A gray newspaper is made up of thousands of black of white spots. When you see it from far away, it looks gray. When you zoom in, each spot is black or white. In this case, the spot is the "accident". But there are no other spots on the page, it is an isolated event. 9-11 was just one spot on a page of dots, a thousand years old.
Self-important film that could have been an hour-long, after-school movie.
Martyrs (2008)
Why do people go see horror films if they don't like them???
I see people rating this movie with 1 and 2 stars! You need to make one crappy film to get 1 or 2 stars.
People need to rate the movie based on the genre of the film. People write things like "Torture-Porn rears it ugly head again". Well duh??? What were you expecting, Bambi??? You people are total monkeys. The film has great effects, a killer plot with 180 twist, excellent acting, and directing. Even if you hate gory horror suspenseful thrillers, you have to give the movie at least a 7. It is absolutely gripping with no dull, dragging moments.
Movies like Twilight get better ratings than 1 or 2. I think I gave the last one a 3.
If you were fired from the film, don't rate it because you hate the director or producer.
If you don't like horror, don't watch horror movies... and certainly don't rate them or write reviews. Really??? Can you be any more moronic??? I like movies of any genre. If it is well-made, with solid acting and directing, I rate it accordingly. I like dramas, romance comedies, action flicks, fantasy and comedy. I like horror that has plot without senseless killing by an unstoppable slow movie bad guy like "Jason". That is just silly. And along comes a film like this.
This is honestly one of the greatest films ever made PERIOD, horror or other genre. This is a must-see!!! An absolute mind-blowing masterpiece.
Ignore reviews by people that give this a 1 star and movies like REC3 - Genesis 7 stars. Are you kidding me? What a bunch of clowns.
The Philly Kid (2012)
Average in every aspect
I think anytime you watch a movie about something in which you are knowledgeable there is an excellent chance you will be disappointed. Movies when people click on a keyboard for 2 minutes and crack the CIA firewall or alien codes! Or when Japanese import cars are red-lined but seem to continue to rev higher and go faster with nitrous. Or football movies where people are diving left and right, but never at the ball carrier.
This film is no different. The fight scenes weren't bad. Not even close to real, but better than other movies I've seen. The acting wasn't bad. The plot wasn't bad. Bearable, entertaining, but nothing exceptional.
The plot has the lead actor fighting THREE fights to pay off a debt of his loser friend. After TWO fights, against virtually unknown local fighters, an MMA organization seeks him out and offers him a contract fight. The representative of the organization says they've been tracking his career. What??? His first fight was with no training after 10 years in prison. The second a few weeks later. Thousands of fighters across the nation, and they take notice of a guy with 2 wins in as many weeks against local nobodies??? Good grief.
His third fight is against a guy twice his weight that moves like an 80-year-old. Look, it isn't the UFC, but there are still weight classes! I won't reveal any more and risk spoiling the end.
Bottom line... worth watching over regular TV... but nothing beyond average.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011)
One of the worst movies ever made
I watched the first movie in the saga because my wife loved the books. I must say, the acting was good, except for Stewart who is a cold fish. She looks confused or depressed. That is the scope of her acting abilities. The character development was good. The plot was good. And there was enough suspense, mystery and action to make the movie solid.
New Moon introduced the werewolves and Volturi, which added new mystery and suspense. But the Volturi were never heard from again.
In Eclipse, no werewolf makes an appearance until over an hour into the film. And you are already snoring within 40 minutes.
Finally, Breaking Dawn. In the first hour we see a wedding and honeymoon full of pathetic dialog, weak acting, and ZERO imagination. It was slower than a Lifetime production, with less romance, mystery, intrigue, suspense, and action. Stewart's character states it was the best night of her life, yet still not even a smile. She would be fantastic if casted as a corpse.
After watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes, the CG werewolves look like they were rendered in 1991. They look to be about 1200 pounds. They snarl and human voices are heard... but their bark is worst than their bite as no one dies or even gets injured. There movements and interaction with their environment look extremely fake.
The final 10 seconds of the film hold the only suspense or intrigue in the entire movie. These greedy bastards just want teens to pay for two movies when they could have rolled it into one. They could have started the movie with "I Do", shown a quick scene of Bella getting knocked up and getting morning sickness, then the 15 minute finale. This movie was simply a 20 minute prelude to Part Two stretched into 2 hours.
Get your neighbor to rent it, borrow it for 30 minutes and watch the last 15 minutes and you are ready for Part Two.