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A.P. Bio (2018)
Absurd but not in a good way
I usually watch three episodes before rendering a verdict but one was enough. Incredibly stupidly improbable premise; guess I could let that slide, but on top of a completely annoying and unfunny main character, nuh-uh. Just irritating and pretentious and it makes perfect sense he couldn't get hired. No need for any further episodes whatsoever. He's what dumb people think smart people are like. The classroom is like a weird horror show, with the usual stereotypical characters who somehow managed to all wear color-coordinated outfits to school that match their classroom and "teacher." There you go. Not off-putting at all. Someone's idea of an edgy weird darkish kinda hey kinda wow kinda now comedy.
The Conjuring (2013)
P. O. S. But you might like it . . .
. . . if you're a misogynistic Christian ideologue who wouldn't know a good film if it bit you on the bible belt. If you have any doubts, just compare this stinkburger to Poltergeist or The Exorcist, which are brilliantly conceived, well-written, and intelligently-directed films on the same topic, also set in the 70s. Or The Birds, since these doofuses decided to have a bunch fly around and at the house for no particular reason.
Out of a mess of horribly-written lines, I think my favorites were "A haunting can be like getting gum on your shoe" and "She's heading toward the house! She smells like rotten meat!" Since no one in the film could act, though, the bad script doesn't matter that much. And it's so predictable that you can tell every single time something's about to jump out or appear or drop in. The only real horror in this film is that something this badly made got into the theaters.
Jeffrey (1995)
Entertaining, if not great cinema
When Rudnick's right, he's unbeatable (Addams Family Values, In & Out) and when he's not, he reeks (Isn't She Great). Not having seen Jeffrey as a play, I can't attest to its workability in that form, but as a film, it never really gets off the ground. But as a series of loosely-connected vignettes, it's entertaining.
The cameos by various stars are very good; Patrick Stewart's performance outshines the vehicle; and a number of trenchant points about America's ongoing confusion about sexuality are made.
I have to keep writing because there's a minimum number of lines of text, which is a completely stupid rule.