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Reviews
Ascension (2014)
Ascension or Declination?
There is an old saying about an elephant looking like an animal that was designed by a committee. This mini-series, while well-acted by a great cast of veteran and newcomer actors, was clearly written and directed by a committee. There are so many plot holes, unanswered questions and technological anomalies that what had the potential to be a truly great story comes off as an awkward pachyderm of mismatched story arcs that wind up being stairways to nowhere. I found it very disappointing that questions that were asked by the characters apparently have to be answered by the audience because no effort was made to answer them by the writer(s). That the director(s) tried to pull a Hitchcock is laughable, because it just looks like they ran out of material, imagination or energy. I have to respect the actors' skill with 5 stars but the other 5 are left blank, like the expression on my face at the end of this mini-series.
Extraction (2013)
Surprisingly Good
While this was clearly not a big-budget, blockbuster, mega-action, summer-release, slug fest, it was a surprisingly good movie. Relative newcomer Jon Foo gives a veteran performance with an excellent display of his martial arts skills and better-than-workman-like acting skills. Sean Astin and Danny Glover have some unfortunately somewhat two-dimensional roles, but Joanne Kelly, who it's nice to see is still finding work after Warehouse 13, brings a Myka Bering-esque likability to her role. For me, the lowest point in this movie is the tiresome Vinnie Jones. If you're not familiar with his work, just watch this movie and you'll have a pretty good handle on it. (yawn) Meanwhile, the story itself is not totally far-fetched and the fight choreography and special effects are definitely up to snuff. All-in-all, it's a good, Saturday afternoon, nothing else to do way to spend an hour and 45 minutes.
Another World (2014)
Pick a Theme, Any Theme
The only thing that keeps this movie from getting a 1 is the energy level of the zombies. Other than that, the acting is passable, but the script seems to have been written separately, by two different high school students, then mashed together into one screenplay. There are some decent action sequences, interleaved with these odd, pseudo-spiritual / philosophical meanderings, both by the characters and by the "narrator." Add to that one of the main character's pointless pursuit of a hare-brained scheme to kill zombies in an enclosed area by the electrolysis of hydrogen, and you get an hour and 30-odd minutes of your life that you'll never get back. If you haven't already wasted time on this dog, go watch a curling match instead.
Apocalypse Pompeii (2014)
Wow, who knew a movie could be this bad!
Seriously. If you set out to make the worst movie ever you could not do a better job than this. Even the workman-like acting and confusing accent of Adrian Paul, the commanding presence of John Rhys-Davies and the awesome bust of the lovely Georgina Beedle could not save this travesty of a movie. Truly one of the most appalling things ever committed to film. There are so many things wrong with it that it boggles the mind. It makes a Troma film seem positively Shakespearean. Where to start? The writing is probably the worst part of this, the story horrible, the "science" idiotic and the dialogue just plain stupid,followed by the wretched "sets." No doubt hundreds of dollars were spent on sets and special effects. I honestly felt embarrassed for the producers of this travesty, it was so bad. Stay away.
AE: Apocalypse Earth (2013)
I've seen better...
But, I've seen worse, too, although I can't remember exactly when. As has already been pointed out, the acting was not great, although there were a couple of bright spots. Though there was an interesting germ of an idea at the core of this story, the writing was horrible. However, I think the more seasoned actors did the best with what they had. Both Adrian Paul and Richard Grieco have been around for years and have had some pretty good projects in the past and they clearly made an effort. With that said, I'll give it one star for the writing, one for the acting and two more for the two best things about this movie - the Costa Rican scenery and Bali Rodriguez, which I guess could also be considered Costa Rican scenery.
Tomorrow, When the War Began (2010)
"Wombats!"
Definitely the best of the Australian Red Dawn ripoffs. Seriously, if you've ever seen Red Dawn you can't help but see how heavily this film drew on that iconic movie. Even some of the dialogue seems to be lifted bodily from the Red Dawn script. No spoilers, but if you watch Red Dawn before watching this, you'll clearly hear some parallels. But hey, imitation is supposed to be the sincerest form of flattery, right? Unfortunately, this movie is just not a very good imitation. Too little action and too many relationships. That being said, the characters seemed more like paper dolls than people. As others have mentioned, serious stereotypes and really no development of their personalities beyond some really overused "let's get real" clichés. I felt zero connection to any of them. Some really beautiful scenery, though, and some gorgeous actresses, so a 5 vote for that.