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Johnb-18
Reviews
Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975)
Greatest exploitation movie ever
This movie is the apex of all sleaze movies. If you are looking for the ultimate Saturday night sleaze movie, this is it. Dyanne Thorne has no fear playing Ilsa. She beats and tortures female prisoners at her medical experiment camp to see if woman can withstand more pain than men. That's it's thinnest thread of plot but what the movie is truly about is naked woman being sexually tortured. When the run of the mill B movie simply won't do, check out ilsa. Most people have not seen a movie this offensive before, so rent it and get ready to see if you can take it.
Romeo Must Die (2000)
Not best Li
This movie was lacking. The action scenes were good but they were few and far between. Li wasn't much of a Romeo either. For a good example of what Li can do, check out Shaolin Temple 3 or Fist of Legend. To future Jet Li movie producers: HEY! More kung fu in the kung fu movie! No one wants to see Jet Li get misty eyed. Unless of course he's crying over the fact that he's pummeled every one and he craves more fighting.
The Guardian (1990)
b movie lacking
I wonder what the underlying logic behind making this movie was. I guess it's trying to be a supernatural rip-off of The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. The Guardian does have two cool gore scenes but the rest of the movie is a serious snore. Now I like killer nanny movies as much as the next guy, but this movie was lacking in both suspense and b movie fun. There is no sense of humor in the movie.
Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997)
kubrick references
A lot of Kubrick references seem to go into Jan de Bont movies. Of course they are fairly obvious. Sandra Bullock is watching Lolita in her cabin and later we see the little deaf girl giving Jason Patric the eye. In Twister there was a guy actually named Kubrick. The movie that was playing at the drive-in that was destroyed was the Shining. Just thought it was interesting.
Killer's Moon (1978)
Incompetent slasher
When I think painful movie watching, I think Killer's Moon. I would refer to it as a slasher movie, but that would be an insult to fine slasher films worldwide. Here's a plot summary: Four deranged guys come upon a busload of stranded schoolgirls. Sounds good right? It's not. I was intrigued by the possibilities but the movie is terminally dull. Incompetence from beginning to end.