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Reviews
American Hustle (2013)
Slow. Dull. A snoozefest.
If it weren't for Christian Bale's character we would have stopped watching after 30 minutes.
It is beyond me how this movie could even be mentioned at the Oscars, let alone nominated.
All I can say is: don't waste your time on this one. Heck, I don't want to waste my time going through the many, many negative aspects of this film. So I won't.
Suffice it to say, if you ever find yourself battling insomnia, tee this one up - it'll put you to sleep faster than a handful of horse tranquilizers.
Gods and Generals (2003)
Almost as long as the Civil War itself, and far more boring, no doubt
Although this movie, in my opinion, portrayed some of the key players accurately and went to great lengths to adhere to the social and cultural context of the time, it nonetheless failed to be entertaining. Sometimes, putting an accurate portrayal on celluloid fails. Not because the story is boring, but because an accurate portrayal requires detail, and detail is not what most movie viewers want. As an accurate reflection of historical events, this movie succeeds. As cinema entertainment, it fails miserably (unless of course you are a "hardcore" civil war buff).
Vanilla Sky (2001)
Finally! A non-medicinal means of inducing sleep.....
Well, what can I say...I thoroughly disliked this film. Although an intelligent film (in some respects), I found Tom Cruise to be mis-cast and Penelope Cruz just plain terrible (she really should take some acting lessons). The film came across as a romantic "comedy"/music video. Crowe's attempts to make a smart, enthralling film fell way short of the mark. Instead, he has produced a boring, plodding (though well shot) film. Two thumbs down.
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)
All flash, no substance.........
Well, this movie was even more disappointing than I could ever have imagined. There is no doubt it was a "polished" film in the Hollywood sense. But, it lacked emotion, soul, passion and, most importantly PLOT!!! The special effects were good, but not good enough to overshadow the complete lack of character development and the primarily stiff, emotionless, passionless performances by ALL of the actors and actresses (Jolie included). As well, the very lame attempts at humour only exacerbated the boredom engendered by the total lack of plot. It's a shame that with such a promising story line, excellent product association, and a big budget that all Hollywood could produce was a stinking turd wrapped in nice, shiny celluloid. This one gets a very generous 3.
3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)
Lots of great actors....but thats it :(
This had to be one of the most disappointing movies I have seen this year. The premise seemed funny enough, and the cast was certainly of an all-star nature. Unfortunately, there was no substance to the movie. It seemed to be more like a dis-jointed, violent, rock video.
There seemed to be more emphasis on strange camera angles and effects than there was on the story (what story there was). The gun battles were just so non-sensical and silly, that one had to wonder. If these guys were smart enough to get into a Casino and get the money (using high-tech gizmos), then how is that they had to shoot the hell out of the place to get out? For me, this ranks right down there with Gone in 60 Seconds. I would recommend using this movie as a door stop. 2/10
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
If you're a redneck, you'll love this movie...otherwise, don't bother with it.
Another piece of Hollywood shlock with bad acting, no story, overuse of cliches, and very bad ATTEMPTS at humour. As usual, Nicolas Cage sucks the big one, Angelina Jolie seems to be there merely for her bad hairdo and pouty lips, and Giovanni Ribisi...well, he is usually good, but this movie was obviously beneath his talents. A waste of good celluloid. AVOID THIS MOVIE (unless of course you are a car lovin' redneck, in which case this movie will likely top your fave list).
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Sick, Twisted, F**ked up...I LOVED IT!!!!
Well, its crude and its rude, and thats what makes it so great! Those of you high and mighty "Siskel and Ebert" types may as well forget about seeing this movie. For those of you looking for some gross and twisted humour - this movie is for you!!! Don't take "Freddy" too seriously, you're not meant to, its just gross fun with a little bit of a story lurking underneath (relationships with parents, etc.).
Hollow Man (2000)
Great special effects, but a rather transparent story
The special effects for this movie were top notch, the acting good, but the story was a little weak. However, as for many recent movies (in my mind), the 'over the top' ending was a little too much to swallow....I mean, come on! The guy was a scientist not Michael Myers!!
Josh Kirby: Time Warrior! Chap. 5: Journey to the Magic Cavern (1996)
Mmmmmmm......magic mushrooms!?!?!
A badly directed, badly acted, and very badly scripted movie with terrible costumes and sets......nuff said. However, given that a review won't appear unless there are at least four lines written (this movie deserves no more than two lines of comment, good or bad) I add the following comment: save your money and rent/buy something else.
Cast Away (2000)
Cast Away: about as thrilling as a nap
Well, Tom Hanks acting was good, the location was good, and the photography was good. However, I found the movie to be long, dull, plodding....a collection of cliches. The story seemed stagnant and unoriginal, and there seemed to be numerous chunks of the film that should have fallen to the cutting room floor.
Not a bad film, but not a good film either, at least insofar as entertainment value goes.
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
The WORST movie yet this year!!!!
This was a dull, plodding, unbelievable in the extreme, badly filmed, badly scored, badly plotted, boring unfunny effort of an action movie...it was too over the top in terms of action (when there was any), and the non-action scenes were mostly pointless and VERY boring....you would do better to burn your movie then go to a theater to see this piece of cinematic drivel.....and believe me, I can appreciate an action movie as much as the next person, but this one is BAD....
Mission: Impossible II (2000)
The WORST movie yet this year!!!!
This was a dull, plodding, unbelievable in the extreme, badly filmed, badly scored, badly plotted, boring unfunny effort of an action movie...it was too over the top in terms of action (when there was any), and the non-action scenes were mostly pointless and VERY boring....you would do better to burn your movie then go to a theater to see this piece of cinematic drivel.....and believe me, I can appreciate an action movie as much as the next person, but this one is BAD....
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)
Despite being a schlocky B movie with no story, I liked it!!
Well, there is no real story to speak of....and the effects are substandard at times....however, I like the feel of it, and the post-apocalyptic look.....the cyborg dude running the maze was very cool too......overall a funnish B movie with some decent actors...a bit of brain candy for a rainy saturday night....if you liked Mad Max, and you like sci-fi B movies, then you'll be able to appreciate this one....just don't expect too much from it when you put the tape in...that way you won't be disappointed.
Queen's Greatest Flix (1981)
Terribly edited and arranged...BUT, great footage of a GREAT band!!!
This compilation is terribly edited and terribly arranged...However, it offers excellent footage of the band performing live, as well as video excerpts from various TV shows and promo shoots. Despite the effort put into arranging the clips, the content is worth it if you are a Queen fan.
The Ninth Gate (1999)
Good photography, great acting by Depp, some choppy sequences
This was an interesting film...not really horror, not really drama, but in between. Depp did quite a good job, though the rest of the cast were rather lack-lustre (except perhaps Langella, who played his stock "persona"). The movie tends to be slow at times, and goes on longer than necessary. However, it does have a feel similar to that of horror films of the 60's. All in all a respectable film, but nothing special.